Friendship is and must always be a two-way street. I think all of us have heard this saying a million times, but unfortunately, it isn’t always true.
Sometimes we get stuck in a one-sided friendship without even being aware of it. We keep giving them a place in our lives (a place they don’t deserve at all), and we end up getting hurt.
If you have an inkling you’re surrounded by bad friends or a fake friend who is only using you, I have something that will clear out all of your doubts: a list of clear signs your friend doesn’t care about you.
17 Obvious Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Care About You
Now, if you want to prevent being stuck in a toxic friendship and save yourself from a potential fake friend, you just need to keep reading.
1. Spending time with you isn’t on their list of priorities
In a sincere and good friendship, having friend time is sacred for both parties. It simply provides the opportunity for friends to strengthen their bond and get to know each other on a whole new level.
With a fake friend, spending quality time together will always be limited. They’ll avoid you, cancel on you and offer lame excuses every time they refuse your invitation to hang out together.
It’s not that they don’t have time for you. They simply don’t want to hang out with you because they don’t care about you.
2. They never listen to you
Have you ever felt like you’re talking to a wall when talking to your friend?
Okay, it might happen once or twice when they’re too tired or have personal issues, but if it happens every time you speak to them, it’s clear they don’t care about what you have to say.
Of course, we all like to talk to our friends and share our sorrows and things that are bothering us. If you aren’t able to do that with your friend, you need to stay away from them.
3. Your secrets are never safe with them
We always share our secrets with people we trust the most, and they are our best friends. If, at any moment, you start feeling that your ‘friend’ doesn’t keep your secrets, you should know that it’s the moment they’ve stopped being your best friend.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking about everything with them, why the hell do you even need them in your life then? If you don’t trust them, you should stop considering them a real friend.
4. They are not there when you need them the most
If your so-called friend abandons you every time you’re going through a tough time, I think things are pretty obvious. They don’t care whether you get through it, which also means they don’t care for you.
A true friend is always supportive and will stick by your side no matter the situation. And having your back in difficult times is how they’ll want to prove their loyalty to you.
5. They don’t seem interested in your well-being
When you’re sick or going through a hard time, those who come to visit you and offer their help and support are your true friends.
If your friend neglects you even when you tell them you need their help, if they don’t care about your emotional and mental well-being, it’s clear they don’t care about you. And it’s even more obvious that they don’t deserve a place in your life at all.
6. They invalidate your feelings
In a healthy and good friendship, friends provide each other with emotional safety. This means they both feel safe to open up to one another and share how they feel.
And most importantly, they acknowledge, accept, and respect each other’s feelings.
If it seems like your friend doesn’t validate your feelings, and if they try to persuade you into thinking that your feelings are wrong, you’re definitely dealing with a fake friend.
7. They try to belittle you in front of others
This is something a good friend would never do. If your friend always tries to put you down and make fun of you in front of others, it’s a telltale sign you’re dealing with a disrespectful friend, someone who doesn’t care about you.
Maybe they’re doing it because of their own insecurities or because they want to seem superior in your friendship. Whatever the reason, it’s deeply toxic and unhealthy.
They definitely know it hurts you, but they obviously don’t care about your feelings. And they’ll keep doing this if you allow them because they don’t see it as something bad.
8. Also, they often talk behind your back
You know those types of friends who pretend they’re a true friend, but every time you turn your back, they start gossiping about you? Well, in my opinion, they’re the worst.
They never share anything about their personal life with you but want to know everything about yours. It’s like they want to gather a ton of information so they’ll have more material to talk about you behind your back.
If this is the case, if you know for sure that your ‘friend’ has been talking behind your back, you should be aware that they aren’t a real friend. Be careful around them, and don’t even think about sharing your secrets with them anymore.
9. The lack of respect is more than obvious
If your friend does most of these things above, that is, if they belittle you or make fun of you in front of others, it’s an obvious sign they don’t respect you at all.
The fact is, you don’t have respect only for those who don’t mean anything to you. If you care about someone and if you’re in a healthy relationship, respect must always be one of the crucial foundations.
10. They don’t value your opinion
If your friend never seeks your advice, it’s a clear sign they don’t respect your opinion. They don’t care about what you have to say about things that concern them.
They’ll isolate you from others, and you’ll feel disrespected and neglected, which is definitely something a best friend would never do.
It’s not that they only avoid seeing you and cancel on you, they also start avoiding you on social media too. They mute you and don’t reply to your texts for ages.
They know it’ll hurt your feelings, but it’s not like they care about you and don’t want to do something that would hurt you.
12. You’re aware they’re only using you
They’re only there when it’s convenient for them… They only reach out when they need something from you… They take everything but don’t give anything in return…
You’re probably aware of these things but don’t want to admit to yourself that you’re dealing with a toxic friend whose only intention is to use you the way they want.
I know it’s difficult, but the sooner you come to terms with the facts, the sooner you’ll be able to delete them from your life completely.
If you keep allowing them to use you, it won’t only harm your self-esteem, but it’ll leave awful consequences on your mental health that you won’t be able to deal with.
13. They negatively impact your self-esteem
A bad friend will always try to put you down and make you feel like you aren’t good enough. It’s like it’s their mission is to completely destroy your self-esteem and seriously harm your mental health.
They will give you a hard time and make you feel bad in your own skin. They probably do that to gain control over you and manipulate you into doing things they want you to do.
14. They are jealous of your accomplishments
This is a huge red flag that indicates you’re surrounded by envious and fake friends.
If you notice that your friend is secretly jealous of your success, you should let them go because they aren’t your real friend.
A good friend will be supportive. They will motivate you to achieve all of your goals and be happy about your achievements because your happiness is their priority.
15. You know you can’t always count on them
A real friend is always there for you, and you know for sure you can count on them no matter what. If your friend doesn’t make you feel that way, then things are pretty obvious... Your friendship is fake.
Do you really need a friend who will abandon you in difficult times? I can’t answer this for you, but I can say that you definitely don’t deserve to have someone like that in your life.
16. They cancel on you a lot
If your friend often cancels on you at the last minute, it’s a good sign they don’t consider you a very close friend. The fact is, a good friend would never bail on you, at least not without a very good reason.
If they keep bailing on your plans, it means you’re dealing with a disrespectful friend. They don’t respect your time, and, even worse, they don’t feel bad for hurting your feelings on purpose this often.
17. You just feel they aren’t a true friend
How do you know if your friend doesn’t care for you at all? You should just listen to your inner voice.
If something is wrong with your friendship, you’ll just feel it. Because, in healthy relationships, there is no place for doubt. You just trust them with all your heart and know they’ll be there for you no matter what.
If it’s a true friendship, you wouldn’t have doubts about their loyalty in the first place. And the first time your gut starts telling you that something is off, it will be a surefire sign your friend doesn’t care about you, at least not in the way you care about them.
See also: How To Tell Someone You Don’t Want To Be Friends: 13 Ways
6 Powerful Tips To Deal With A Fake Friend
Now you know how to recognize fake friends, and all there is left to know is how to deal with them. But I’ve got you covered here too. Here are some helpful tips that will help you cope with bad friends.
1. Reset your personal boundaries
You should never allow anyone to control your life or affect your emotional and mental health. You obviously allowed your friend to do this, and now it’s high time to rethink your limitations and boundaries.
2. Confront them
Tell them that you doubt their intentions and that you don’t see them as true friends anymore. Of course, you should back it up with good reasons and solid proof that justifies your doubts.
Once you confront them, their reaction will also help you reveal whether your friendship is fake or not.
If they start making excuses for their behavior and try to put the blame on you, then it’s clear they’re trying to continue with their manipulation.
On the other hand, if they stay calm, accept the blame for their wrongdoings and offer a sincere apology, then your friendship definitely deserves a second chance.
3. Be honest about your feelings
Admit how their actions make you feel. You’re hurt because you feel that your best friend has betrayed you, and it’s normal to feel bad and hurt because of it.
If your emotional confession doesn’t make them change, then you should know that your friendship is absolutely doomed.
4. Don’t ever allow them to make you feel unworthy
They’ll probably try to lower your self-esteem and make you feel insecure about yourself. They will do it because it is the only way they can control you.
However, you must resist and keep your self-confidence high. Don’t ever lose faith in yourself because that’s when your life will become filled with fake people and toxic friends.
5. Don’t even think about stooping to their level
No matter what they do to you, you shouldn’t even think about getting even. Their actions speak for them, and yours speak for you.
The only thing you can do is to end your friendship with them. Cut off all contact and forget that they were ever a part of your life.
6. Simply let them go and try to meet new friends
If you know for sure that they aren’t a true friend, you need to show them the door.
Give yourself the opportunity to meet new people and make some new friendships. Somewhere out there is a true friend, one who will never betray, disrespect, or leave you.
In A Nutshell
If you’ve recognized most of these signs your friend doesn’t care for you, I feel your pain. I honestly do.
I know that accepting that you’re stuck in a one-sided friendship hurts like hell. However, allowing your toxic friend to keep using you will hurt even more.
You just need to gather the courage to confront them and save yourself from that toxic friendship. Remember, you don’t need anyone in your life who doesn’t need you.