How to be mature? How to boost your maturity levels and become more responsible, and as a result more grown-up?
If these are questions that you’ve been asking yourself lately, don’t worry, you’re not alone on this one.
Many people mistake the concept of maturity with age, but our levels of maturity have nothing to do with that.
Being mature is the result of our life experiences, choices, and lessons we’ve learned rather than age.
A mature person can be 60 years old, 20 years old, you name it. Some people go through the process of personal growth earlier, and some later.
No matter the timing, they are all shaped by their life experiences in which they learn how to take responsibility, step out of their comfort zone, and face challenges.
And, as a result, their levels of emotional maturity, responsibility, self-esteem and self-control significantly increase, and that’s how they become mature (or more mature than they were).
Maturity is not about appearance, but about your state of mind!
The biggest mistake that many immature people are guilty of is trying to cover up their immaturity by growing a mustache, smoking cigarettes, driving a fast car, wearing only formal clothing, and being a complainer 24/7.
Perhaps this is how maturity is defined in movies, but real life is somewhat different. You can never be more mature by doing all these things.
You may appear as such, but your body language and mindset will reveal the real you.
This is an extremely dangerous practice because faking maturity can block your real potential and make you stuck in the realm of immaturity forever.
Being mature is about breaking your own boundaries, challenging yourself in every aspect of your life, and accepting the consequences instead of running away when things get tough.
Maturity is a process that takes time, effort, and patience. It’s an active process, not a stagnant or passive one. So, it cannot be accelerated or achieved artificially by faking it.
If you’re ready to boost your maturity levels and become the best version of yourself, here’s how you’ll do it.
18 Tips To Becoming More Mature And Responsible – Your Best Self
1. Define your goals
One of the biggest signs of immaturity is being a couch potato aka an inactive person. Being inactive means being passive and uninterested about life.
And if you’re not interested in doing or achieving anything, you will not have a chance to become mature and boost your maturity levels. That’s why it’s important to set and define your life goals.
What is it that you want to achieve this week, next month, or in a few years? Do you want to improve your career, skills, or your appearance?
Then roll up your sleeves, set and define your goals, and work on achieving them. Life without any goals and dreams is a boring one, and doesn’t give you an opportunity to evolve and work on yourself.
Achieving goals requires hard work, dedication, and patience, which are the main signs of maturity.
2. Be determined
Once you’ve set your goals, you need to stay determined no matter what. Remember what we said about maturity being a process? Your goals are a part of that process, too, and determination is your fuel.
If you’re determined about succeeding in something and making it a reality, you’re already halfway there.
Everything stems from your mindset. You are what you think. Your thoughts are the most powerful thing in the universe.
So, when you think that you can’t do something because of this or that, chances are you won’t be able to do it (just because you think so).
But, when you’re determined about your goals, you will find a way to achieve them no matter the difficulty or complications.
Say to yourself that you can, you want to, and you will do it! Believe that you can – that it is the only way to being closer to making your dreams a reality.
When it comes to maturity, there are no shortcuts. You make the best of every second, every minute and day.
You go through life taking baby steps when needed, but you never give up no matter what.
3. Stop complaining, blaming, or making excuses
When something doesn’t go the way you want it to, do you blame others for it?
Do you complain for every little misfortune that comes uninvited to you? Do you often make excuses for things you ought to do?
If yes, then it’s high time to change that.
If you want to learn how to be mature in a relationship (and in life in general), you will need to learn to stop complaining about things, blaming yourself or others, and making excuses.
Instead of complaining or blaming-shifting, focus on finding a solution for it. Instead of making excuses, start making an effort.
You need to get rid of all the negative thoughts and behavior preventing you from reaching your full potential. You need to stop only thinking about doing something, but start doing it.
Not a single thing in life comes free to us and every mature person knows that. If we want to be mature and successful, we need to be ready to take risks, make a serious effort, and never lose hope.
4. Focus more on listening instead of only talking
Many people think that talking more will make them more mature and more intelligent. But, the truth is otherwise.
The more we listen to others, the more we grow.
When you are only talking, you’re focusing only on saying things you already know and expressing your knowledge.
But, when you focus on listening, you’re absorbing other people’s experiences and learning from their knowledge and mistakes.
It’s like reading a book. Imagine that you only talk to the book instead of read it. You would learn nothing new, right?
But, when you read the book (listen to others), you give them a chance to teach you something new.
And that’s priceless. By focusing more on listening instead of only talking to others, you become more mature and wise.
When someone else is talking, turn off that little voice in your head that is telling you to only focus on what you’re going to say next.
Instead, listen to them carefully and then think of your own reply once they’re finished talking.
This little trick will improve your life significantly from the moment you start practising it and you will wish you’d known it earlier.
5. Be in control of your thoughts and emotions
Another big sign of maturity is being in control of your own thoughts and emotions. When you let your thoughts or emotions control you, it gets harder to think rationally.
Though, I’m not saying that you should neglect your thoughts or feelings, just that you shouldn’t let them be in full control of you. If you do, it will be even harder to focus on doing the right things.
So, don’t act on impulse (or if you have to, don’t do it often). Don’t let your emotions or thoughts force you to do something stupid (something you know you will regret afterward).
When you’re in control of what you’re thinking and feeling, you sharpen your sense of right and wrong.
You can clearly see things and easily understand why you should or shouldn’t be doing something.
Your decision-making ability improves and you get to be in charge of your own life.
There isn’t a worse thing than making a mistake when you knew you could’ve prevented it from happening.
Maturity is about listening to yourself, differentiating between rational and irrational, and acting accordingly.
Anything else is living in a delusion – fooling yourself until you finally open your eyes and see the real truth. Until you finally unlock your potential.
6. Respect others and demand the same in return
There will be always something you won’t agree with, something you’ll consider stupid or childish, but that doesn’t mean you should disrespect it.
Being mature is about respecting others despite their differences, choices, and actions. Immature people judge others, but mature people respect them. Also, they demand respect in return.
As a matter of fact, this is interconnected. You can’t expect others to respect you if you don’t respect them. It’s a rule and something you should always keep in mind, no matter the situation.
You don’t have to love others, you don’t have to agree with their thinking, you don’t have to support their actions.
But, you need to respect them, because doing that shows that you’re bigger than judgement or prejudice – two of the biggest pollutants of society.
Respecting means having the capacity and wisdom to appreciate things you cannot change.
You cannot influence other people’s thoughts and actions, but you can influence yours. So, respect and you shall get respect in return!
7. Have the courage to accept the things you cannot change
Maturity is working hard to achieve your goals, but it is also about accepting the things you cannot change.
It’s about having the courage to accept things as they are and that there’s nothing you can do about it.
And that takes real courage! When you know that you have no influence over something and you wish it to be different.
When you know you can’t help someone who is sick, but all you can do is watch them in that state and try to make their days brighter.
When you know that you can’t change the situation you’re in because it was not your fault that you got let go for some other reason.
When you break up with someone you still love because they’re not good for you.
You know that it’s hard to accept all that, but you also know that you cannot change any of it.
So, instead of trying in vain, you need to focus on embracing the little things and finding something positive in every situation.
Instead of cursing the present, you need to focus on the future. Instead of wasting your time on thinking about the what-ifs, you need to focus on that which you can change.
And that’s where real courage and bravery arises.
Being able to accept the things you cannot change is the fundamental of being mature and happy. Remember, it’s all in your mindset!
8. Embrace differences and make a difference
Do you often wish or imagine that you could change other people, change the way they think, change their outfits, and whatnot?
Do you think that if everyone on Earth was created perfect (according to your definition of perfection), everything would be in order?
If yes, think again. Differences are what makes us special and unique. The way you talk, walk, and do things makes you, you.
There are no other “yous” in the world and the same goes for every single human being on this planet.
We are all different – and for good reason. That’s why we need to embrace our differences instead of seeing it as something that needs to be changed.
So what if some people like to talk a lot and are more outgoing than others, and vice versa?
Just because you yourself are an introvert, it doesn’t mean the whole world should be the same. Or just because you yourself are an extrovert, it doesn’t mean you should push others to be more open.
Just because someone has dyed their hair purple, it doesn’t mean we should make fun of them or perceive them as weirdos.
The real beauty lies in our unique choices, and in the ability to accept those choices by others and embrace them.
To embrace differences means making a difference in the world. It means being mature enough to realize the beauty of the non-standard and divergent.
9. Learn to find a silver lining in every situation
Excelsior! If you’ve seen the movie Silver Linings Playbook, then you know what I’m talking about. The movie provides the most powerful quote, which is the epitome of maturity:
“You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest, and if you stay positive, you have a shot at a silver lining.”
No matter how fucked up or impossible things are, you need to stay determined and do everything you can. You need to give 100% of yourself and stay positive.
If you stay positive and if you believe your efforts will bear fruit, then you have a shot at a silver lining.
The whole wisdom behind maturity lies in these words.
It’s easy to stay positive when things are going smooth, but it takes courage and effort to think positively when the world around you is literally falling apart.
Once you succeed in achieving that, then you know you’re a legit mature adult. You know that no matter what happens in the future, you will be able to find a silver lining and make the best of the situation.
See also: 25 Positive Affirmations For Happiness And Success
10. Be open-minded
Another aspect of learning how to be mature emotionally, mentally, and physically is practicing open-mindedness.
Many people think that being open-minded is only about being willing to try new things. For example, going bungee jumping, trying new hobbies, trying new sex positions with your partner.
Sure, all these belong to a category of open-mindedness, but an open-minded person is much more than just that.
An open-minded person respects everyone’s point of view and their ideas, compromises with others, and also questions everything.
Being open-minded is not about knowing everything or trying everything, but it’s about being able to question everything you know and everything you’ve tried so far.
As already said, maturity is not stagnant. It is a process in which a person is constantly upgrading their knowledge and evolving day by day.
It’s impossible to wake up one day and realize that you’re a mature person now.
Maturity comes with experiences that shape and improve our thinking, skills, and overall behavior.
11. Stay away from any form of negativity
Gossiping, nagging, complaining, holding grudges… All these things are extremely negative for your mental health and overall well-being.
Constantly talking about other people, nagging and complaining about things, or holding grudges for an eternity are true signs of an immature person. Why?
Because mature people don’t really bother with what other people are doing, wearing, or saying. They don’t nag or complain about things; they try to do something about it.
And they don’t hold grudges for an eternity; they know how to forgive and apologize for the sake of their own peace of mind.
Mature people stay away from any form of negativity because they know that the key to happiness lies in positive vibes.
They don’t bother much about irrelevant things like gossiping because they have more important things to do in their life.
They embrace positive vibes and positive people instead of the negative ones.
12. Never underestimate yourself
How many times have you been told that you can’t do something? That you’re incapable of finishing a task because it’s too difficult or too complicated for you?
And how many times have you believed them and given up on even trying?
Mature people never let anyone convince them that they can’t do something. Mature people believe in themselves; they never underestimate themselves or let others do so.
They are self-confident and determined, which are one of the main characteristics of maturity. When they decide to do something, they believe that they will succeed in it and they won’t stop until they do.
So, never, ever underestimate yourself no matter what! If I had listened to what others had been telling me, I wouldn’t have done many things in the past, but luckily I didn’t listen to them.
I strongly believe that I have the capacity to achieve whatever I want and so far I’m satisfied with my regimen. No matter how complicated or impossible your goal is, don’t ever lose your hope.
And if others are trying to convince you that you should give up on it, just imagine their faces once you prove them wrong! So, prove them wrong!
13. Embrace other people’s success
If you’re familiar with The grass is greener syndrome, then you know what I’m talking about.
Thinking that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence often makes us jealous of other people’s success.
We convince ourselves that they are living their perfect life with a perfect partner and a perfect job in a perfect home.
We convince ourselves that the only way to be truly happy like them is to have everything they do.
And that’s when we become jealous. Instead of embracing other people’s success, we turn it into something against us.
We make ourselves less worthy and think we’ll never be happy or good enough like them.
Mature people know that the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence and every person is responsible for their own happiness.
Perfection doesn’t exist and happiness is not about having the most expensive or best things, but about trying your best and being happy with what you already have.
Happiness is about embracing other people’s success instead of being jealous of it. Happiness is staying positive.
14. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone
What do you fear most? What is something you would want to do, but are afraid of doing it or aren’t doing it for some or other reason?
Do you ever feel like your life has fallen into a routine, a labyrinth, and every day is basically the same?
You wake up, you go to work, you come home, you eat, you watch a movie, you go to sleep.Day after day it’s the same on repeat.
Do you feel good about it but at the same time you’re craving something more exciting, something different?
Stepping out of your comfort zone is a prerequisite to being content with yourself and living your life to the fullest.
Face your fears, do what makes you happy, change your routine.
Try something you’ve always wanted but never had the courage to do until now. Instead of going to work by car, choose a bicycle, change your route.
Instead of watching a movie, do something else more exciting. Face your fears, step out of your comfort zone and routine.
15. Take responsibility for your actions
Maturity is about taking responsibility instead of running away or giving up when things get rough.
Avoiding to take responsibility for your actions might work in the short term, but in the long run it will turn you into an irresponsible, immature person.
If you know that you’ve done something wrong, take responsibility for it! Don’t just run away whining like a baby or not giving a damn about it.
Always keep in mind that your every action has a reaction and everyone should take responsibility for their actions.
Learning how to deal with things you want to avoid, learning how to apologize and make things right are signs of a mature person.
These are the signs of someone who has mastered important life lessons, someone who is brave and knows how to go through life like a true warrior.
16. Practice selflessness and gratefulness
In the world full of selfishness and greed, selflessness is desperately needed. Now, what does it mean to be selfless?
Does it mean doing everything for others at the cost of your own happiness? Of course not.
Being selfless means taking care of your loved ones and close people, helping them when they need your assistance, doing something nice for a complete stranger and loving unconditionally.
Selflessness means doing good things without ever asking anything in return for it!
But, it also means taking care of yourself. Just because you’re doing something for yourself, this doesn’t mean that you’re selfish.
It means you know that to be able to make others happy, you need to make yourself happy first.
Mature people practice selflessness and gratefulness not because they have to, but because they want to.
Because they know it’s the only way to boost their maturity levels and create a positive environment for them and their loved ones.
17. Embrace real values
Embracing real values! I cannot emphasize enough how important this one is in every aspect of our life. Embracing real values and not what the media (especially social media) imposes.
Real values are not having a perfect body, perfect hair, expensive car, lots of money, and a house with a pool.
Real values are self-respect, honesty, love, hard work, genuineness, respect, gratefulness, appreciation.
So, embrace the real values! Don’t fall for those fake capitalistic advertisements convincing you that the only way to reaching happiness is by buying that one certain product.
That one certain product will not make you happy because happiness cannot be bought. Happiness is within you.
Happiness is maturity.
18. Love yourself
Being mature and embracing real values also means learning to love yourself.
So, stop seeking attention and approval of other people and accept your flaws, quirks, and weaknesses. Don’t see them as something negative, but as fuel that will help you work on improving yourself.
Accept yourself, love yourself, embrace yourself!
You are unique. You are one of a kind. There’s no one in the universe like you and there will never be.
You are the only one who knows yourself to the core and only you can help yourself be more mature and happy.
Love yourself enough to give yourself space to accept the things you cannot change and to work on those you can.
Don’t strive to be perfect, but strive to be your best self today!
You are enough. You are amazing. Learning how to be mature is not about learning how to be perfect. It’s about trying hard every day and trying to be your best self today.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ―Ralph Waldo Emerson
See also: 5 Things You Can Only Expect From A Mature Man