There are many ways our society has tried to undermine a woman’s place in it throughout the history of humankind. Still, I would say that modern women’s empowerment movement has got it all very, very wrong.
What it did is take the image of a woman and twist it until she started looking like a man. Did that give us power? Where does our feminine power come from?
Nope, it doesn’t come from giving us a new set of rules to follow. No, it doesn’t come from making us equal to men.
It comes from deep within, and it’s the same power our grandmothers and our great grandmothers had, no matter how socially challenging their lives seem to have been.
What is feminine power?
What first comes to our mind when we think about power are usually traits we connect to men: stamina, strength, muscles, potential to earn more money, general domination.
Look deeper into your feminine essence. You have a lot to offer. Your feminine leadership and power don’t have to come from imitating masculine power.
You don’t have to hide your feminine energy to empower yourself
Accepting and emitting feminine energy can actually make you do wonders.
A woman, with her own being, benefits the world in a whole different way than a man does, and that’s not only okay but necessary.
People should have equal opportunities no matter the differences between them, but they can never be the same. The key is in accepting our differences and making them work for us.
The nurturing, soft, delicate essence in all women should not be abandoned but rather treated as something precious that gives them personal power to improve the world in a whole new way.
A woman’s creative energy, life force, and intuition has been turned off almost completely in her attempt to fit man’s world perfectly.
And that’s exactly what lies in the source of our feminine power.
Powerful men have been a role model for women all around the world on their way to success.
Somewhere along the way, they lost all of their feminine traits, trying to fit in and show the world they can be just as useful in the world of business and economics.
The time has come to tell the world today that an empowered feminine woman is one who has every right to live her life accepting her feminine side and not abandoning it.
“I am proud to be a woman and I celebrate the qualities that I have as a woman.
I am not defined by other people’s opinions of who I should be or what I should do as a woman. I determine that, not anyone else.
I am not passed up for a position, title, or promotion because I am a woman.
I fully deserve all the good things that come my way.
Irrespective of what anyone might think, being a woman places no boundaries or limits on my abilities.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
I celebrate my womanhood and I am beautiful both inside and out.”
– Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability
8 Ways To Find Your TRUE Feminine Power
There are ways to find the long lost feminine essence inside of you and embrace it.
1. Don’t waste energy proving yourself to anyone
You have every right to live your life the way you want to. It is your greatest and very own power to decide for yourself how you want your life to look.
If you feel you’d like to have a husband who works while you take care of the kids and stay at home, you should do that.
If you feel like right now it’s not the time for you to have children, no matter what society tells you, you should make the decision not to have them regardless.
The important thing to ask yourself is: Where do my wishes come from? Are they really my wishes or did I start wanting to do certain things to please my parents, society, or partner?
If you’re at your happiest doing certain things, do them, no matter the opinions of others. No one gets to make your life decisions for you.
Celebrate your freedom. Freedom gives you the chance to live your life on your own terms. You’re a strong woman – act like one.
2. Appreciate men and their masculine energy
Some common feminist talks have us believe that we should hate men. We almost feel ashamed if we enjoy a man holding the door for us or carrying our heavy bags.
You have to learn to appreciate men for who they are. Men and women are different – yes, that’s the beauty of having them both as human beings. If we didn’t need two kinds, we wouldn’t have them, we’d sit with only one.
Learn to accept men with their unique masculine traits and stop trying to make them more feminine – the same way you should stop trying to make yourself more masculine (if that’s not how you really feel).
3. Learn to cooperate with men rather than compete with them
Men and women are like yin and yang. They are two pieces that fit together perfectly. You should learn how to work with men rather than constantly try to be like them in order to compete with them.
Where does your need to be better than a man come from?
We keep fighting men in the business world, trying to prove we can do the same things they can, but then start complaining about how unsuitable we are for that world.
Yet, we power through because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves in front of others or admit that we don’t want to live our entire life trying to overcome that feeling.
Stop fighting men. Offer your own wonderful, perfectly usable traits to this lovely mixture of life and work. There are many things women can do better – do those. Cooperate, don’t compete.
4. Let the control freak inside you go (far, far away)
You have the need to control your entire life. This stops you from living it. Think about it: No matter how hard you try to control things, one day you’ll get tired of it.
It’s exhausting to go through life trying to control every aspect of not only your life but the lives of those around you (because, of course, they affect you as well).
Stop trying to control everything that happens. Stop trying to regulate what other people think of you. Quit thinking you’ll be able to alter the future if you try harder.
You should try harder. You should work harder. You haven’t done enough.
Please, stop feeding yourself such negativity and realize that you are allowed to live your life relaxed and at peace. No, you can’t control everything, no matter how hard you try.
Blaming yourself for things that happen will take you so far away from being happy and content just being alive.
5. Dance and exercise, move your body
Self-love is a powerful force. Use it.
The easiest way to start loving yourself more is to get to know yourself better. You have to free your mind and release your inhibitions.
Play some music and move, move, move.
Move your body as freely as you can. Dance. Let go. Get back in touch with your inner goddess. She’s there, I promise you.
Don’t think about the extra weight you might be carrying. Don’t think about how much more work you have to do today. Don’t think about your broken relationships. Don’t think.
Also, exercise. Exercising gives us an empowering feeling of strength and that helps feel better and secure about ourselves as a whole.
6. Spend time in nature
Where do we always see those lovely, feminine creatures in the movies? In nature, of course. Staying in touch with nature helps us stay in touch with our inner selves.
If you’re trying to find your inner feminine essence, the best way might be to spend some time in nature and see where that takes you.
Being surrounded by tall trees and restless water, and looking at powerful mountains will make you not only think about but feel things you haven’t felt in a long time in your busy city life.
Give nature a chance to help you reconnect with yourself by overwhelming you with its greatness.
Realizing how small and powerless we actually are in the face of nature and God helps us reevaluate our lives.
Spending time in nature helps our health and overall well-being and, sure, gives us a stronger basis to explore ourselves and our surroundings.
7. Work to make your dreams come true…
Your dreams are important. Whatever they are, work hard to make them true. Set goals for yourself and do your best to reach them.
As I’ve said earlier, keep in mind to check with yourself if your dreams really come from your inner desires and wishes, or they’re actually someone else’s thoughts about how your life should look.
Stay strong and do your best to get to where you want to be.
You should never be afraid to pursue your desires and do whatever you’re prepared to do (within the humanity-respecting boundaries) to achieve them.
8. …but don’t value yourself by your achievements
Your value as a human being doesn’t come from the things you’ve achieved. While it’s important to have dreams and try to make them come true, it’s even more important to know your own worth.
What matters is who you are as a human being. It’s important to work on being a person who’s helpful and kind to other people.
You should think more about how you contribute to the world and your community than what they have to give to you.
Only those whose intentions come from their honest, kind souls have a chance of gaining power that’s useful and true.
Feminine Power Vs. Masculine Power
“I have both feminine and masculine energy inside me. Both are so equally powerful.” – Juansen Dizon, Confessions of a Wallflower
Let’s start by making a short list of what can be considered male and female traits.
FEMININE TRAITS: nurturing, peaceful, affectionate, sensitive, sympathetic, soft-spoken, cheerful, compassionate, tender, warm
MASCULINE TRAITS: protective, assertive, cold, dominant, competitive, athletic, independent, individualistic, ambitious
Is there anything wrong with any of these? No.
Do we not need every single one of these traits among humans? We do.
The important thing to notice is that both masculine energy and feminine energy can exist within one person, regardless of the person’s gender.
It doesn’t mean that being female brings only feminine power, it can also bring masculine power. The same goes for being a man.
The topic at hand is based on the idea that feminine traits are treated as less important than masculine traits.
The truth is, they are equally important and needed for the world to function. Neither the masculine nor feminine traits are bad – they are actually both necessary.
Society puts these two elements of human energy completely separate, and we as individuals should find a way to bring peace to these two sides of us in order to live our best lives.
While most of us are raised to believe that masculine power is true power and feminine power is weak, we should recognize that this was never true.
Creating a global community of people who think that masculine strengths are not the only strengths that’s created the world we live in today – in which women (and men too) are giving up their feminine, soft traits – actually has the potential to change our world for the better.
3 Ways To Empower Other Women
1. Stand with them, not against them
Many women fall too easily into the trap of gossiping endlessly about other women. Why do we do it? Do we need topics to talk about when we have coffee with friends?
Are our lives so boring and unfulfilling that we need to talk about other people’s lives?
Why do we wait for a woman to fail just so we can show she was never really any good?
Are we jealous?
If there’s a woman who’s outstanding in any way (beautiful, amazing at her job, great at multitasking work and family – whatever basically), other women will wait for her to fail at anything just so they can prove to themselves and the whole wide world that particular woman is no better than they are.
Women can get very intimidated by others who (in their minds) seem to have their lives in better order than they do.
Wouldn’t it be so much better if we could run to help that woman, rather than gossip about her failures?
Wouldn’t we empower her and ourselves if we were to hide her flaws and accentuate her virtues as if they were our own?
Why can’t we see that being a strong, powerful woman has to start with empowering our community? It’s a must for women to recognize this as a global issue and try to change it locally.
Please, next time you witness another woman falling, give her a helping hand, don’t kick her while she’s down.
2. Motivate them to stand up for themselves
There are many women out there who haven’t had a chance to become aware of their own worth. Help them.
They might be having issues at work or at home but don’t have the mental tools to deal with them.
Those women are easily recognized. They always blame themselves when things go wrong. They are typically very quiet and believe any other person’s opinion to be more important and relevant than their own.
We all know that a chain is as strong as its weakest link. Those women are our weakest link and we have to do our best to strengthen them.
Give them what they need to become stronger. Give them what they need to become aware of how beautiful, smart, needed they are.
Once they recognize their value, they will feel empowered enough to stand up for themselves in any aspect of life.
Sometimes, helping another person feel strong and important is so beneficial to our own mental state. Try it.
3. Tell them your own story
All women have their unique stories that have the power to change many lives.
Not many women are brave enough to tell their unedited stories because they often feel ashamed about some things that they went through.
It’s important to acknowledge that every person goes through many ‘”embarrassing” periods in their life and that having the strength to share your experiences with other people will, at the very least, help them overcome their issues.
When someone comes to you with a problem you’ve been through, share your story. Make them feel less alone.
Our human connections are what’s most important and precious in this life we live in – keeping them strong is above any other empowering act.
What does a powerful woman look like in the modern world?
“Mentors of mine were under big pressure to minimize their femininity to make it. I’m not going to do that. That takes away my power. I’m not going to compromise who I am.” – Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
She’s strong, but she’s not arrogant. It’s the strength of her character that gives her confidence. She accepts her weaknesses and is happy to carry them.
She doesn’t apologize for being who she is. She’s perfectly fine with her choices and if others aren’t, she doesn’t care.
She knows that everyone is allowed to make mistakes and does her best to learn from hers. She doesn’t let regrets or events from her past hold her back.
She stays focused on what she does next and doesn’t dwell on what she did last.
She’s emotional and vulnerable, but doesn’t let the world use her vulnerability to hurt her. She knows how to guard herself yet also knows when to open up.
The feminine essence in a modern woman is equal to the feminine essence in every woman who has ever walked this earth.
We must notice though that the confusing, draining everyday life of today’s world can challenge women on a whole other level.
What to do with our feminine power?
Use your feminine power in order to help create a better place for the life of all human beings. Use it, combined with masculine power to ignite every single potential a human being can have and let it work its magic.
The most important thing to do with this amazing kind of power is appreciate it and let it blossom. Stop hiding it – stop burying it deep within you like it’s toxic. It is beautiful. Own it.
Nothing about femininity is shameful and you should learn to let yourself be guided by your feminine instincts.
There are many ways to attain power, and femininity is most definitely one of those ways. Wars have been won over women who knew how to make their feminine traits work for them.
I’m not saying we should use our femininity for manipulation. I am saying that it hides secret powers that are, at least, as strong as the powers of masculinity.
“Femininity is part of the God-given divinity within each of you. It is your incomparable power and influence to do good. You can, through your supernal gifts, bless the lives of children, women, and men. Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others.” – James E. Faust