We all worry when things don’t go according to plan. However, when that worry transforms itself into an everyday struggle, that’s when you start having a problem.
Being so overly sensitive can either glorify the world in your eyes, or it can turn it into a curse.
Are you the type of person who overreacts at every inconvenience?
Do you often find life to be exhausting because you feel everything too deeply?
Do you ever wonder: How to stop being sensitive?
If your answer is yes to all of these, it means that you are truly having a hard time. I will take it upon myself to show you that you’re not so alone.
So, continue reading to find out the answers to all of your questions, as well as to see if you’re really sensitive, or rather just in unsatisfactory life circumstances.
How Do You Know If You’re Too Sensitive?
If this part interests you, you’ve probably been told you’re too sensitive. Either that, or you’ve felt the burden of such feelings that madeyou feel lost and confused. Whatever the case is, you decided that you need to fully comprehend your own emotions as well as put a stop to them.
You’re having doubts as to whether you truly have a problem, or you have a just cause to feel the way you do.
But, how does one know for sure that they are a highly sensitive person?
Here’s a little background information: The term the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) was coined by the psychologist, Elaine Aron, in the 1990s. She noticed that hypersensitive people are easily overstimulated and have strong emotional reactions.
Besides that, here are more signs of hypersensitivity explained:
1. You feel too deeply, and think too much.
When you love someone, you don’t just care about them. You are rather prepared to do whatever it takes for them to be happy. Having true emotional connections is how you make friends.
If you happen to be in a bad mood, you experience it in a more intense way than other people. You feel like your whole life is falling apart. The bottom line is, your emotions are rarely anything less than extreme no matter what they are.
It’s the same with the way you think, that is, overthink. You continuously analyse each detail of a situation and, the worst part is, your insecurities often guide you to a conclusion.
Either way, your nervous system functions differently, and it makes you react in an intense way.
2. You possess a high level of empathy.
Does everyone come to you when they need someone to talk to?
If so, that’s because you’re an empath. This makes you capable of understanding any problem you are presented with.
You always make sure that the people in your presence are happy. Since you can always spot how someone else feels, you take it upon yourself to be responsible for their emotions if need be.
No matter how exhausting it can get, you continue your little mission because you feel that it’s your responsibility.
3. You’re easily overwhelmed.
Have you ever felt like there’s no good left in this world because one time, someone stepped on your toe on a bus? Do you dread any kind of feedback because it instantly makes you feel like you’re not good enough?
I’m sure this made you think of a few situations of your own. Even the most trivial ones can make you feel absolutely awful. Actually, you rarely perceive anything as trivial.
You experience happiness in the same manner. When someone does even the smallest act of kindness, you appreciate it more than they will know.
Your emotions often make you retreat to your own little world. According to Dr. Elaine Aron, around 70% of highly sensitive people are actually introverts.
4. Subtleties never escape your notice.
Your sensory processing sensitivity allows you to notice even the slightest changes in someone’s behavior. People simply cannot hide anything from you, and this is why they usually end up talking about it.
Even if it’s a small thing, such as a change in someone’s voice or a choice of words they wouldn’t normally use, you see it. You don’t even have to try hard. You unconsciously make notes during every encounter, so you can easily detect any change later on.
It doesn’t matter if it’s someone close to you, or a person you’ve just met. Your ability to read people often helps you choose the right company. Sometimes, though, you read a bit too much into it. But, you will see more of that in the following chapters!
How To Stop Being Sensitive? 23 Tips You Should Follow
If you’re a highly sensitive person, you’re probably tired of overthinking. You want your emotional reactions to be less intense, but you’re not quite sure how to accomplish that. You’re asking yourself millions of questions hoping you’ll find a solution for this particular problem.
How to stop being sensitive?
If you’re a HSP who is desperately searching for the answer to this question, you’ve come to the right place.
Read on and explore with me all the methods that could help you control the way you react to stressors. There’s a great number of them, and it’s your task to choose the ones that work best for you. So, this is what you can do:
1. Find a trusting person to talk to.
It’s particularly hard to be intensely affected by every little thing, and having to go through it alone. This is why it’s crucial that you find someone who you can open up to.
Go and tell your friend or a family member how you feel. If you don’t have anyone on your mind, you can always reach out to support groups or individuals going through the same problem on social media.
There are Facebook groups you can join where people openly talk about all the issues they’re having, or Instagram accounts where you can find people similar to you. You’d be surprised as to how much love and support you could find at a stranger’s door.
Either way, know that there is always someone who’ll be there for you. You only have to let them. You are not a burden.
2. Establish some boundaries.
A lot of people aren’t even familiar with the concept of boundaries, but it’s a crucial one. Setting boundaries is a great act of self-love that everyone should practice.
Do you allow people to vent to you all the time? If so, I want you to know that while helping someone out is the right thing to do, sometimes, you need to step out for a bit.
If you have problems of your own, you can’t handle someone else’s, too. That is perfectly fine, and it does NOT make you a horrible person.
Your primary job is taking care of yourself. You are the master of your own time. Use it wisely. Your well-being comes first.
3. Practise self-care.
When we’re overwhelmed, we often tend to neglect ourselves, both physically and emotionally. We are either too tired, or we unconsciously punish ourselves for our emotions.
So, the next time you feel that way, remember that you deserve to treat yourself kindly.
Practising self-care is crucial at all times, but especially when you feel that the world is too much. So, don’t forget to do whatever makes you feel good. Self-care looks different for everyone, anyway.
For you, it might be taking some time off from others (especially toxic people), or it might be something as simple as taking a shower and eating three meals a day.
Whatever it is, remember to provide yourself with the necessary care. You not only deserve it, but you also can heal only by being gentle with yourself.
4. Focus on the outer world.
While it’s important to take care of ourselves, sometimes, we need to focus our attention on the world that exists outside of us.
Try to forget that you’re real altogether. Go talk to someone, and focus entirely on their voice and movements… on the sounds you hear. Don’t think. Ask questions as they come to you.
Or, go and spend a day in nature. There’s nothing like nature to make you forget about yourself.
Note: I am not advising you to ignore your emotions nor trying to make you feel irrelevant. But, if you occasionally observe yourself as just a speck in the universe, you will feel oddly free, and things might not affect you the way they always do.
5. Find the source of your feelings.
It’s not enough to just allow yourself to feel. If you truly want to overcome your problem, you also have to understand why it occurred in the first place.
Is that person really rude? Or, is constructive criticism an attack on your self-worth due to childhood trauma, or because you’re suffering from narcissistic victim syndrome?
Is your friend really distant? Or, do you only perceive it that way because you believe you can’t be loved?
I know it can be hard to abandon such deeply rooted beliefs. And, you certainly won’t succeed straight away. But, you can still question your feelings and try to determine where they come from. If you can’t do this alone, let someone help you.
If you find the source, you will eventually eliminate it. I believe in you.
6. Don’t pretend to be untouchable.
When you’re too sensitive, you’re often tempted to pretend that everything’s fine. You either view sensitivity as a weakness, or you simply can’t deal with all the pain, so you shut it off.
If so, know that refusing to feel the pain won’t make it go away. It will still be there, even bigger than it was before. After all, it’s called ‘suppression’ for a reason. In order to truly make the problem vanish, you first have to let it in.
This may be too overwhelming, especially when you have to do it every day, but I want you to know that ignoring it isn’t self-care. Allowing yourself to feel your feelings is.
7. Not everything deserves your attention.
Being an empath, you probably care about every single thing. Whether it’s your own problem or a distant one you can barely reach, your energy drives you to it until it completely consumes you. If so, I want you to never forget my next words:
Not every problem deserves your attention. If you can’t handle it emotionally, move on; otherwise, it will lead you to self-destruction.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should refuse to help someone if you’re able to at the moment. But, as much as you can, distance yourself from it all.
Learn to let go of everything. This way, you will gain the energy necessary for your next noble endeavours.
8. Practise self-acceptance.
Know that it will be all the harder for you to deal with your sensitivity if you constantly judge yourself. It can absorb all of your energy, and it will leave none for your self-improvement because, yes – in order to change, you have to accept yourself.
Most importantly, you need to fall in love with yourself.
Don’t strive for change because you despise all that you are. Do it to make your life easier. Do it because you DESERVE it.
Nothing about you needs fixing because it’s ‘wrong.’ Being less sensitive is all about the importance of your own mental health. So, try practising more self-compassion.
9. Don’t engage in negative self-talk.
It’s extremely important not to see your negative emotions as the ultimate truth. Look, I know firsthand that that’s not easy at all.
But, what I’ve come to learn is this: You can feel your feelings, and still not give in to the negative thoughts.
Whatever you feel is completely valid. Don’t judge yourself for it. However, if you continue reinforcing your core beliefs by repeating ‘I’m good for nothing or I can’t handle being me’, then you won’t accomplish much.
Instead of saying that, you can try something like this: ‘It’s so exhausting being me, but I’m still doing a pretty good job’. Discover the power of positive daily affirmations. Your self-talk is crucial, so please don’t take it lightly.
10. Reject toxic positivity.
It’s not uncommon for people to advise you to think positively when you’re down. If you think such advice is ideal, think again.
How to stop being sensitive, then?
Well, you can’t just reject your feelings and force yourself to see the good side of things. This way, you only invalidate your experience, and start adopting the belief that you don’t have the right to feel sad. But, you do.
Both positive and negative feelings deserve your attention equally. They all make up who you are.
Let yourself be immersed in whatever it is that you’re experiencing right now. Feel it in order to conquer it.
11. Realise that you can’t save everyone.
Precisely because they are so aware of other people’s feelings, emotionally sensitive people tend to have the saviour complex. Essentially, they take it upon themselves to save you from perdition at all cost by thinking they can control how you feel.
If you can relate, please realise that this is not your job. You can offer people your love, advice, or validation, but it’s impossible to control each of their emotions whenever they feel bad.
Don’t underestimate people. Trust that they have the power to handle themselves, and learn to simply be their support system.
Your worth doesn’t depend on your ability to help others as they once made you believe. You matter just as you are.
12. Their feelings aren’t your responsibility.
When you’re a highly sensitive person, conflicts get even harder to bear. No matter whose fault it is, you always find ways to blame yourself. Your sensitivity sometimes makes you cry on the spot.
You don’t know how to stop being sensitive. You hate the thought of losing someone you love, so you reach out first to mend the fences. What I want you to do is observe the problem as objectively as you can.
Even if you feel that everything’s your fault, know that that can’t always be the case, and that’s a fact. On the other hand, if you always feel wronged by the other person, that’s just as impossible.
You can be neither an angel nor a devil THE WHOLE TIME. Be gentle with yourself, but also take accountability for your actions.
13. Be your own hero.
Sensitivity might make you feel more responsible for others, but it also makes you more codependent. Know that others can’t save you, nor is it their job… the same way it’s not yours to save them.
You exist in this world to love each other, not to be each other’s heroes. You can only be your own hero. Yours is the life you are truly responsible for.
Take care of your needs, whatever they may be. Let go of your anxious thoughts, and take a deep breath. Even when you struggle, the importance lies in your endeavours.
Miracles truly are possible. Even if you don’t believe in them, believe in the power of your own mind. Take baby steps until one day, you turn around and see your own greatness.
14. Perceive sensitivity in a new light.
Your sensitive nature can be a weakness, but this is not always so. It’s very important that you notice both the good and the bad side.
If you acknowledge the bad, you can make efforts to change it, and if you reframe it, you will become aware of how great you are despite it.
Essentially, managing to survive despite the constant, intense emotional responses means that you can handle pretty much anything. The intensity of your feelings further makes you able to love people in a way that is rarely seen.
Since you’re able to easily detect other people’s emotions, you are also very detail-oriented, and that can help you in every situation you find yourself in.
You don’t always have to wonder how to stop being sensitive. Take pride in it as well.
15. Don’t take everything personally.
If people truly are hurtful towards you, you should realise that it’s rarely about you.
If it’s someone you care about, try talking it out with them. But, people not close to you don’t deserve too much of your attention.
Is your co-worker trying to belittle you? They may have self-esteem issues.
Has someone been rude to you? Maybe they were having a really bad day.
Nothing that happens to them is an excuse for their behavior. But, neither is it proof of your unworthiness. You deserve love, so accept nothing less.
16. Don’t assume what people think… ask them.
People can get angry at us. It’s only natural to have conflicts every now and then. Please know that this does not mean the end of your relationship altogether.
How to deal with it, then? How to stop being sensitive?
If you have a problem with someone, give yourself some time to process how you feel. However, DO NOT jump to conclusions. As much as you think you know a person, you can never guess what they actually mean.
Therefore, spare yourself the hurt and communicate. Only this way can you realise the gist of the problem as well as how the other person feels.
Your assumptions can bring you nothing but pain, and they are rarely truthful. So, avoid making them.
17. Stop seeking external validation.
Sensitivity also implies a lack of self-trust. This is why you are probably prone to seeking validation from those around you. Please know that this is not good for you.
Next time you vent to someone, ask yourself this question: ‘Am I sharing this for the sake of sharing, or do I just need them to tell me that it’s okay to feel the way I do?’
NOBODY has the right to tell you what you should feel, nor vice versa. Every single one of your feelings is valid. Essentially, there is no wrong way to feel.
Sit with your emotions, and allow them to exist.
18. Observe the problem from a distance.
When you observe a problem closely, it can look bigger than it is, and that can easily consume you. How to stop that from happening? How to stop being sensitive?
After sitting down with your feelings, step aside for a bit. Imagine that it is not you who is in the center of it. It’s nothing personal, but rather, someone else’s problem. Listen to them, and give advice accordingly.
This way, you distance yourself from the situation, and you are able to see things with more clarity.
The bottom line is – you deserve the same amount of love you would give to someone else in pain.
19. Try journaling.
Picking up a notebook and writing down all you feel can be truly liberating. If you don’t like talking to other people, this is the ideal method for you. Or, you can do both. Why not?
Either way, it’s the perfect way to let your emotions out instead of bottling them up because that never ends well.
What you should keep in mind, though, is that the purpose of a journal isn’t to create art. It certainly can be if you want it to, but don’t put pressure on yourself. The real goal is simply allowing yourself to vent.
If you’re too afraid of possible readers, you can always write it down and throw it away or burn it afterwards. You make the rules.
20. Transfer your emotions elsewhere.
When handling your emotions, beware that you don’t lash out at another human being who did you no harm. What you can do, however, is transfer it to a place that will help you deal with it in a healthy way.
For instance, you start exercising daily, or start doing a sport. Physical activity of any kind would be of great help.
This is because you are both an emotional and a physical being. Both sides need nurturing, and in order to heal, I advise you to take care of both. Following the tips & tricks of a holistic lifestyle is recommended.
21. Have some me-time.
Whenever there comes a time when the world feels too difficult to bear, know that you can always retreat to your own. You are entitled to your solitude no matter who’s waiting for you at the door. Your mental health is of the greatest importance.
Always make sure not to disappear without saying anything, though. Maybe you don’t owe anyone a detailed elaboration on your departure, but they still deserve to be informed of your plans since they will probably worry about you.
Either way, you can temporarily deactivate all your accounts, and enjoy your alone time for as much as you need.
After all, you don’t have to be there for others 24/7. Be gentle with yourself. You will be a better friend after sorting out your issues anyway.
Only beware that you don’t distance yourself more than you initially intend.
22. Find your mantra.
We all like to hear comforting words in times of need. But, we usually wait for other people to say them. Why don’t you try to do things differently this time?
Even if it’s sometimes hard to FEEL that you’re deserving of love, you can still ACT as if you feel it.
Find the right words yourself. Which ones have an odd power that transforms you every time you hear them? Perhaps a loved one once uttered them to you, or you heard them from your favorite movie.
Either way, adopt them as your own, and repeat them to yourself constantly. They will both empower you and make you feel like a mighty fictional warrior. So, what’s the downside, really? Take a deep breath and get dramatic!
23. Try therapy.
If you find that your sensitivity is too hard to handle on your own, or even with the help of your friends, know that you can always seek professional help.
Don’t trick yourself into believing that a psychotherapist can do you no good. They could help you make sense of your feelings as well as show you ways to balance the aspects of your life.
Moreover, don’t think that it’s shameful to talk to a professional. If you’re uncomfortable, you needn’t share it with anyone, but don’t let the stigma make you refuse such help altogether.
Why Am I So Sensitive For No Reason?
No one is sensitive for no reason… that’s the first thing you need to understand. Maybe your feelings can get intense, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t have a valid explanation because everything does.
Maybe that person is really mad at you. Even if they’re not, understand that you feel that way for a reason.
But, why would you be so affected by things you exaggerate in your head? What makes you so skilled in noticing the change in someone’s behavior? Why do you sometimes notice problems that aren’t even there?
It’s natural to question these things. So, let’s provide you with some answers.
What Causes A Person To Be Highly Sensitive?
Every day can be highly exhausting when you care about every little thing. It can get nearly impossible to shut down your feelings.
You only want to know how to stop being sensitive. But, with the help of the techniques we’ve mentioned earlier, it really can become manageable, if not subdued entirely.
Still, you must wonder – Why are you so sensitive in the first place?
Essentially, there are two possible explanations for your hypersensitivity: you’re either still affected by past traumatic experiences, or you’re currently going through intense emotional abuse or physical abuse.
1. Childhood trauma.
The reason why you are so sensitive can be the consequence of a past trauma. You grew up in an abusive environment that made you feel scared enough to develop certain survival skills.
You read people so well because that’s what you had to do back then in order to survive. You dislike conflict because you fear the result will be the same one that happened years ago.
Other people’s needs precede your own on your to-do list because you were taught that you come last.
Maybe the people in your surroundings unconsciously made you scarred for life, or maybe it was a conscious effort. Each situation is different, and each person reacts to different stimuli.
Either way, you’ve suffered abuse that, to this day, has lasting consequences.
2. On-going emotional (and/or physical) abuse.
It could also be that your sensitivity is caused by your current life circumstances. You may be experiencing intense (mostly) emotional abuse that has made you very careful and calculated.
Emotional abuse can constitute being silenced each time you wish to speak, or being yelled at for no reason at all. It doesn’t always have to be extreme, so to say.
We also don’t always know when we’re being abused. This is mostly because certain abusive behaviours are normalised nowadays. Or, it could be that you are a victim of gaslighting.
Because you’re so naturally prone to self-blame, abusers can easily convince you that they’re the victim. They make you doubt your perception of things.
P.S. On-going abuse can cause severe personality disorders, such as BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) or mood disorders, such as depression and anxiety. It is crucial that you seek professional help. So, make the right choice.
If you were wondering how to stop being sensitive, I hope you got your answer. But, I also hope that you have realised that your oversensitivity isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Maybe it is important to learn to control it for your own sake. But, it also makes you detail-oriented, kind beyond compare, and able to survive any kind of situation.
Still, know that you don’t exist only to survive. If you find yourself in an abusive situation, don’t hesitate to leave.
If you can’t quite figure out what’s going on, share your story or try to inform yourself by listening to abuse podcasts. You might just save your own life.