Being cheated on changes a person in every possible sense. You don’t only get stuck with the terrible pain of heartbreak, but you also get stuck with a million questions and everyday struggles that seem like they’ll never go away.
One of those struggles is how to stop overthinking after being cheated on. It happens just when you finish your healing process and start thinking that you’re ready to move on and leave it behind.
That’s when the trust issues and low self-esteem come crashing down on you. That’s when you need to work on yourself the most, take control of the situation, and come out of it all much stronger, both mentally and emotionally.
How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On: 14 Tips To Let It Go
If you’ve figured out that your toxic relationship isn’t good for you and finally decided to end it after your partner cheated on you, here are some tips that will help you stop overthinking it and accelerate the infidelity recovery phase.
1. Start every day with positive affirmations
Right now, the most important thing is to get rid of negative emotions and thoughts. It’s time to stop starting your days with tears and bad thoughts and change your morning routine.
After you get up from bed, you need to stand in front of the mirror and start your day with positive affirmations. It’s the key to leaving bad stuff in the past and having a successful and fulfilling day.
2. You need self-love now more than ever
I hope we’re all aware of the importance of self-love. If some of you aren’t, it’s high time to start because you won’t be able to have a happy life until you understand its importance.
Not only your heart but your mental health and self-esteem will be hurt now, and the only way you can cure all of this is through self-love. After all, if this experience doesn’t teach you that self-love is one of the most important types of love, I don’t know what will.
3. Stop with the self-blame before it kills you
You have every right to seek answers. However, you shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened.
Even if you weren’t the best partner in the world, no one deserves to be cheated on. You need to be aware of the fact that the cheater is the main culprit in this story, and if you need someone to blame, it should be them, not you.
4. Give your infidelity recovery time
There are so many bad things an emotional affair may bring you. Many different conditions you may end up in. And you’ll need to fight them all.
You may experience episodes of severe depression and anxiety that may even evolve into obsessive-compulsive disorder. Together with that, you’ll need to deal with heartache and the rollercoaster of emotions you’ll feel inside.
That’s why you need to understand that infidelity recovery takes time, and it’s not something that can be done in a short period of time.
5. Keep in mind that self-care is the biggest act of self-love
While we’re talking about self-love, do you know what its most important part is? It’s definitely self-care. They go hand in hand, and you can never have one without the other.
Take a day off or even a couple of days. Put everything and everyone on pause and take care of yourself. Take a wellness day or do something that will help your body relax and soothe your broken heart and soul.
6. Stop with the “what ifs”
You’re probably thinking about giving your cheater another chance. So many “what ifs” are circling through your mind, but unfortunately, they won’t do you anything good.
What if your partner never cheated on you? What if they stayed committed and loyal to you? Well, these things didn’t happen, and there is no point in thinking about them.
As long as you keep having these thoughts, you’ll continue replaying things in your head and remain in the same place. I know it’s not easy, but you need to focus on moving forward, not on overthinking the past.
7. Deal with your new insecurities
Your mental health and self-esteem are seriously injured, and I’m sure you’re left with many insecurities. You think that you maybe did something that made your partner cheat on you and that the next person who enters your life will do the same.
Well, first, you need to be aware that these are only your insecurities speaking. You did nothing wrong except trust the wrong person, and that’s the only thing you should try to fix about yourself, giving your trust to others so easily.
8. Find new interests and new hobbies
Try to keep yourself busy – that’s the best advice you’ll get to stop overthinking after being cheated on by someone you loved. Occupy your mind with something interesting, something that won’t allow you to think about anything else, especially not about your ex and their emotional affair.
You need to refresh your life and routine completely. Coming up with new hobbies will help with that because you’ll devote yourself to them, and a little bit at a time, you’ll forget and let go of your ex.
9. Set up a support group
How to stop overthinking after being cheated on? Well, all I can say is that you won’t be able to do it alone.
You’ll need to be surrounded by your loved ones and allow them to help you overcome this all. They’ll be your support group, and once all of this is over, they are the ones you’ll be most thankful to for helping you overcome your partner’s emotional affair.
10. Or, seek professional help
If you think your friends and loved ones can’t help you recover and move on properly, or you simply don’t feel comfortable sharing all your emotions and thoughts with them, then you should get professional help.
You can make an appointment with a psychologist and start therapy. Also, if you still don’t feel ready to leave the house, there are many licensed therapists who offer help through video sessions. It’s not any less effective than doing it in person.
11. Let karma deal with cheaters
You’re probably thinking about getting revenge on your cheater, but there is really no need to do that. You only need to believe in karma and have faith that karma will do its job.
Thinking about revenge will only poison your soul and make your recovery process more complicated. In the end, you should always try to be the bigger person in life and let other people pay for their mistakes. And believe me, the price for cheating on someone is very high.
12. Be grateful to God for saving you from a toxic relationship
You know the saying, everything happens for a reason. God has other plans for you, and that’s why He put you through this experience.
He was protecting you from your partner because He didn’t want you to be stuck in a toxic relationship forever. He wanted to set you free from your toxic partner, and you need to be grateful for that.
Perhaps you aren’t able to do that right now because you still can’t make sense of the situation or your pain doesn’t allow you to do so, but trust me, one day, you’ll thank God for every temptation He sent your ex’s way.
13. Don’t be afraid to get into a new relationship
If you meet a new person and start catching romantic feelings for them, please don’t be afraid to give them a chance and let them come into your life.
You need to stop overthinking what happened in the past. You can’t punish every other person who tries to come into your life just because one person hurt you in the past.
If you don’t feel ready to get into a romantic relationship, at least allow them to be there for you as your friend. Who knows, maybe from that friendship, true love will be born in the end.
14. You’ll find love again, don’t let this experience keep you down
I know that you’re going through one of the hardest things someone in love can experience. Being cheated on by someone you sincerely loved and trusted is beyond heartbreaking.
However, it’s definitely no reason to stop believing in true love. You’ll find love again, or even better, real love will find you one day.
That’s when you’ll understand that everything happens for a reason and that you needed to go through this awful experience. You’ll find love, someone who will hold you firmly and never let you go or risk losing you.
How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On If You Decide To Forgive And Stay: 6 Tips
On the other hand, if you decide to forgive your partner and fight to save your relationship, here are some tips that will help you stop overthinking and start fixing things between you and your loved one.
1. Stop trying to make sense of the situation
I know that right now you’re trying to connect all the dots and make sense of everything that has happened, but unfortunately, sometimes that isn’t possible. Even if it’s possible in your case, trust me, overthinking it will only bring you more pain.
I also understand that you think understanding your partner’s reasons will help you cope with their cheating easier, but it wouldn’t. People cheat for various reasons, but the most important thing is that none of those reasons is justified.
It was their mistake, a huge mistake they made that they will regret until the end of their days, and that’s the only way you should look at it. Of course, that is if you want to move on with them.
2. Confront all the side effects of the emotional affair
There are many negative side effects your partner’s emotional affair will have on both you and your relationship. Before you move forward together, you need to confront every single one of them.
Look at all the places your relationship is broken and try to fix them. Your trust is broken, so work on rebuilding it. If you don’t appreciate them the way you used to, make them earn your respect and appreciation again.
Have open and honest communication. Let your feelings out and talk about your fears. The only way you’ll be able to overcome this is by talking to each other regularly.
Naturally, mutual effort and the wish to save your relationship are required too.
3. Face your unresolved issues together
Okay, the truth is, we all know who the main culprit for the emotional affair is. However, you should look back and try to determine what got you here.
I’m not saying you should find a reason to explain your partner cheating on you, but you should try to figure out why you two allowed your relationship to get to this point.
The fact is, if it was good and healthy in the first place, the emotional affair would probably never have even happened. Maybe you didn’t talk enough or spend enough quality time together, or perhaps you had intimacy issues… You need to find your biggest issues and work on solving them together.
4. Both of you need to be equally committed to rebuilding trust
If one of you isn’t ready to work on rebuilding trust or other important parts of your relationship that were damaged by the emotional affair, then you shouldn’t even bother trying to move on with your relationship.
The thing is, if both of you aren’t ready to put equal effort into making things work again, they never will.
If you still love each other strongly, you need to be devoted to fixing your relationship. First, make a plan and then start by solving the damaged pieces.
5. Leave the betrayal and the other woman/man in the past
When a partner cheats on their partner in a romantic relationship, the other person can’t help but think about whether they’ll go back to the other woman/man again. That is why the cheater must clearly show their partner they have no intention of doing it ever again.
They need to show it was a mistake and that they never plan to repeat their mistakes ever again. If they don’t prove this to their partner, the ugly truth is that the other person will understand sooner or later that they can’t live with that fear and break up with them.
Once this gets cleared, both partners need to work on leaving the affair in the past forever.
You’ve decided to save your relationship, and there is really no point in looking back at the past and reminding yourselves of what almost broke the two of you.
6. Focus on improving and making your relationship stronger
Devote yourselves completely to fixing your relationship. If you think you can’t do it alone, you can seek help from a licensed therapist or relationship expert.
Your relationship is now bleeding in many places, and you need to make sure you patch them all up correctly. Otherwise, if you don’t heal those wounds completely, they’ll reopen one day and start bleeding again, and I’m afraid you won’t be able to heal them again.
Does The Pain Of Being Cheated On Ever Go Away?
I would like to tell you it does, but unfortunately, it does not. This kind of pain never completely goes away and can’t be forgotten, no matter how much we try to leave it behind.
Even if you decide to forgive your partner and move forward with your relationship, that pain will be there forever, reminding you of their betrayal. Some people manage to handle it for the sake of the love they feel for their partner or some other (in my opinion, wrong) reasons.
On the other hand, most people don’t manage to handle that kind of pressure and break up with their cheating partner sooner or later.
And if you decide to leave your cheating partner in the past and move on with your life alone, your pain will still be there with you. You’ll have the fear of being in a relationship again, and you’ll always be afraid that every other person you engage in a relationship with will do the same thing.
Why Am I So Insecure After Being Cheated On?
Unfortunately, the aftermath of being cheated on is being left with insecurities. No matter how self-confident you are and how great your self-esteem is, it’ll most definitely be damaged after you’ve been cheated on by a loved one.
You disappear into self-blame and start wondering what you do wrong… What did you do that could make your partner betray you in such a horrible way?
Your damaged self-esteem makes you think that the person your partner has cheated you on with is better than you. You start doubting your self-worth completely and wonder if you even deserve to have someone by your side. You start wondering whether you deserve to be loved…
To cut a long story short, you start questioning everything and everybody around you. You start blaming yourself for your partner cheating on you, and it destroys your emotional and mental health and your self-esteem.
In A Nutshell
I hope I’ve helped you figure out how to stop overthinking after being cheated on. And I really hope, more than anything else, that this article will help you with the process of moving on.
Just remember, replaying all those scenes and everything that has happened in your head over and over again won’t get you anywhere. You’ll be stuck in the same place of grieving and recovering forever.
It is high time you take care of yourself and make yourself a priority once and for all. Stop thinking about the past and save yourself from all the additional pain.Be like the rising phoenix – give yourself a hand and pick yourself up. It’s time to close this ugly chapter of your life and open a new one, one that will be called your renaissance.