Infidelity in a relationship is one of the most challenging things couples can face. If you decide to give your cheating spouse (and vice versa) a second chance, you’ll have to do some serious work together!
Of course, who am I to say that you have to do something? Let me rephrase it in a more professional way: If you want to heal your relationship, then rebuilding trust is a must! (I’m pretty sure the rhyming part is not a coincidence.)
Trust building exercises for couples after infidelity is the best way to restore trust and reconnect with your partner. Once you rebuild it, you’ll be ready to form emotional intimacy.
Having a strong foundation in a relationship will also prevent infidelity in the future. So, are you ready to make the best of your relationship after infidelity? I bet you are!
Trust Building Exercises For Couples After Infidelity
“That’s the thing about trust. It’s like broken glass. You can put it back together, but the cracks are always visible ─ like scars that never fully heal.” ─ Hope Collier
Rebuilding trust after infidelity is like mending glass. It’s delicate, it takes time and patience but it’s not impossible. Surely, some scars will need more time to heal than others but one thing is for sure: Where there is a will, there is a way.
If you and your partner are determined in rebuilding trust, these trust building exercises for couples after infidelity will help you do so:
1. Discover the most powerful remedy for broken trust
Do you know what’s the most powerful remedy for broken trust? It’s open and honest communication. Yup.
This is one of the things many couples take for granted because they’re convinced that nothing can be solved by only talking. I’m here to prove you wrong.
So, the first exercise for you will be looking each other in the eye while having a meaningful conversation. You can do the following:
• Talk about your fears.
• Talk about the reasons why your partner cheated on you.
• Talk about how cheating made you feel (reserved for both partners; especially the cheated one.)
• Talk about how you can improve your relationship in the future.
Simply talking about these things will build a deeper emotional connection that is much needed when it comes to rebuilding trust.
You need to acknowledge your feelings, address any underlying issues and talk about how infidelity influenced your relationship. This will give you an overview of previous events and an opportunity to heal.
2. Indulge yourself in the magic of forgiveness
After a meaningful conversation, it’s time to discover the magic of forgiveness. Rebuilding trust is basically impossible if the betrayed partner is not ready to forgive themselves and their cheating partner.
No matter how stupid this sounds, you must understand that the betrayed partner isn’t doing this only to make their cheating partner feel better about themselves. By doing this, the cheated partner is also forgiving themselves and getting rid of an enormous burden.
Being cheated on changes you and forgiveness truly does wonders when it comes to new beginnings and rebuilding trust in a relationship. All you need to do is open yourself to the beauty of forgiving and being forgiven.
This will be much easier after you had a meaningful conversation about everything that happened between the two of you, including talking about your fears and reasons for infidelity.
3. Give each other small random tasks to complete
It’s important for couples to understand that you can’t build trust overnight. We’re talking about an emotional process where both sides need to take an active role.
That being said, one of the ways to rebuild trust is by giving each other small random tasks to complete. How does this work?
Well, if you give your partner a task to complete, in a way you give them your trust/belief that they will do it. Once they complete it, they have successfully earned your trust.
These random tasks could be anything. From making coffee to decluttering shelves or taking out the garbage, there are many other ways in which you can “earn each other’s trust”.
I always say that baby steps are the best, especially when it comes to rebuilding such a delicate thing as trust in a relationship.
RELATED: These Broken Trust Quotes Prove That Trust Is EVERYTHING
4. Fun couples’ activities will bring you closer
I’m sure every relationship expert can confirm that actions are stronger than words when it comes to rebuilding connections and trust. Organizing couple activities is a fun way to relax and connect with one another in a deeper way.
To be honest, my favorite couple activity is pillow fights. Given that I’m still a kid at heart, this isn’t a surprise at all. If you aren’t a fan of pillow fights, you can try doing some or all of the following activities:
• Take a walk in nature.
• Try that new restaurant everyone is talking about.
• Go on a double date.
• Write each other an emotional love letter.
• Cook together.
• Stargaze.
• Dance and kiss in the rain.
• Recreate your first date.
Yes, stargazing is also at the top of my list of couples’ activities because it’s soothing and simply awesome. It allows you to be close to each other in one of the most romantic settings.
5. Making a vision board together is also a fun way to build your trust
This trust exercise for couples is highly beneficial, especially after infidelity. I’ll try to explain it in the simplest way possible by asking you a few questions first:
Can you trust a partner who doesn’t have future plans?
Can you trust a partner who is not interested in having relationship goals?
The answer is simple: No. It’s really hard to trust a partner who isn’t future-oriented in a relationship. After infidelity, the most important thing couples should do is forget the past and focus on the future.
That is why making a vision board is one of the best trust building exercises for couples after infidelity. Your vision board doesn’t have to be only about your relationship goals.
It can be about anything. For example, you can create a vision board of all the places you and your partner intend to visit someday.
Creating a vision board will make you feel deeply connected because your dreams, hopes, and goals unite into one. You trust each other that you’ll, sooner or later, make all those things come true.
6. Sexual intimacy will help you reconnect in multiple ways
Yup, we shall not forget the sheer power of physical intimacy either! I’m not saying that sexual intimacy should be the number one priority in every relationship.
However, the lack of it could definitely be a problem. When couples are no longer consistently intimate with one another (in a physical way), there may be underlying issues.
Of course, we shouldn’t forget about the biggest enemy of the modern world, which is stress and other factors. Being sexually intimate is not only a matter of stress release but also a matter of deep connection with your partner.
By being intimate, you are telling one another the following:
• I trust you.
• I feel good in your presence.
• I enjoy being in the moment with you.
• I completely surrender myself to you.
• I’m not afraid of being emotionally vulnerable with you.
Is there a better exercise than that? And I thought so.
7. Write heartwarming letters of gratitude
Being in a healthy relationship is not only about the words you say but also about the words you write down. The written word is often ten times more powerful than the spoken word.
It is especially powerful when you’re writing words of gratitude. So, think about the things you’re grateful for in your relationship.
Think about the things you’re grateful for to your partner. Write down the reasons why you love your partner because that’s how you build trust!
The healing process after infidelity also consists of figuring out why you got together in the first place. What are the things that attracted you to your partner when you first met them?
It’s time to do some deep research and convert the data into heartwarming letters of gratitude. Because gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions out there!
It lifts your spirits, helps you attract more positive things into your relationship and life, and it helps you mend once broken trust.
8. Let your partner go through your cell phone (and vice versa)
I know what you think! “Are you crazy? Why would I let my partner go through my cell phone?”
No, I’m not crazy, or at least I think I’m not ?. If you’re having difficulties letting your partner go through your cell phone, the first thing you need to do is ask yourself why.
Are you afraid that your partner will see some things you don’t want to share with them? Do you find it difficult to be 100% honest with your partner?
Cheating on the phone is becoming more and more popular because we live in times of social media, right? By letting your partner go through your cell phone, you’ll help them overcome trust issues due to infidelity.
Once they see that you have nothing to hide from them and you’re completely transparent, they’ll be able to fully trust you as they did before. However, if you’re being overly protective of your phone, this might cause them to doubt in your honesty and ruin the trust-building exercise.
RELATED: 11 Unmistakable Signs Of Trust Issues And How To Overcome Them
9. Practice daily check-ins (for some time)
Similarly to the previous one, some of you are probably thinking: Why in the world would I share my whereabouts with my partner every single second?
The answer is simple indeed: Because you want them to trust you again. When the cheating partner was in the process of infidelity, they probably lied to their cheated partner about their whereabouts.
The cheated partner will therefore always have some doubts about their partner being honest with them. That is exactly where daily check-ins come in!
This is one of the most effective but also the simplest trust building exercises for couples. Simply tell your partner when you are going to work, to meet with your friends, grocery shopping, you name it.
I also recommend taking pictures of the places you are at the moment so that there are no reasons or space for any doubt. If you find taking pictures a bit over the top, then simply skip this step.
Remember that this will not last forever but only a couple of days or weeks until your trust is fully restored.
10. Organize frequent road trips
If you’re looking for more fun activities to rebuild trust in a relationship, I recommend organizing good old road trips. There is something truly magnificent about spontaneously deciding to go somewhere in the spur of the moment; without overthinking anything.
Your road trips should be filled with laughter, snacks, and some more laughter. That’s how you know you’re doing it right! ?
I’m perfectly aware that to some of you this doesn’t even look like one of the trust building exercises for couples after infidelity. But trust me, it is.
Simply spending quality time together in another setting can be truly beneficial for your relationship and restoring trust. The more adventures you have, the more fulfilled you feel as a couple.
11. Be each other’s support system
One of the biggest causes of emotional infidelity is a lack of meaningful communication and support in a relationship. Well, that is about to change!
If you want to rebuild trust after infidelity, then you need to learn to be your significant other’s support system. Be each other’s confidante, best friend, and a person to whom you can tell anything.
When something bad happens to you or you need advice, don’t hesitate to share it with your partner. If they can’t help you, they can at least listen to you.
Listening is sometimes far more beneficial than anything else. Without support, there is no trust. If you don’t put in effort to be there for one another, you won’t feel connected.
In other words, your support system will shut down. If you want to bring it back to life, you need to be active participants in each other’s lives.
12. Show you care by doing little things
In “The Science of Trust” Dr. John Gottman states that restoring trust is considered an action rather than a belief. To put it simply, it’s more about what you DO than what you SAY.
This Gottman’s Trust Revival Method is another great way to rebuild trust in a relationship.
Additionally, here’s my ultimate relationship advice for you: Show care by doing little things. These little things are what matter the most because we do them on a daily basis.
For example, you can choose to wash the dishes just because (even if it’s not your turn). Here are a few random little things you can do for your partner:
• Wash their car.
• Make a DIY gift instead of buying one.
• Make them coffee in the morning.
• Maybe even breakfast in bed.
• Send them I miss you texts when you’re not together.
You see, the easiest way to rebuild your trust is by letting your partner know that you care about them today and every single day.
13. Take turns planning fun dates
When you enter a new relationship, planning fun dates becomes the norm. Then, after some time, this becomes more of a chore and that’s where everything starts losing its initial charm.
And yes, that is why you’re about to plan fun date nights or days frequently and not only on a special occasion. Planning dates doesn’t take much time and it screams EFFORT.
As we all know, the effort is hot and it helps you build trust! When you see that your partner is thoughtful and taking special care of your relationship, it becomes easy to trust them.
So, take turns planning fun dates occasionally and see how your relationship becomes stronger and healthier.
14. Cuddle sessions
Sweet, warm cuddle sessions! I bet you don’t need reasons to cuddle as much as you can!
Cuddle sessions will not only regain your partner’s trust and help you reconnect, it will also do wonders for your mental health. Cuddling is a true remedy in itself.
Being intimate with your partner in a cuddly way will bring your relationship to the next level. It will also erase any left doubts regarding trust issues.
The more time you spend together cuddling, the less time you’ll have for overthinking. It’s as simple as that. You have the opportunity to make the best of your relationship, so the question is: Will you do it?
And yes, cuddling at drive-in theaters is also a great option and probably one of my favorite ones because it’s vintage and really cool.
15. Deep eye contact sessions
When was the last time you looked your partner deeply in the eye just because? If you can’t remember, then now is the right time to change that.
If you ask any relationship coach about the importance of establishing eye contact with your partner, they would confirm its tremendous benefits.
That is why we’ve listed it as one of the top trust exercises for couples. Deep eye contact sessions are so intimate because they are literally giving you a glimpse into your partner’s soul.
When I’m doing deep eye contact sessions with my partner, I feel this strong energy circulating in my body. I feel so close to my partner just by looking them in the eye.
Oftentimes, words are completely unnecessary because your eyes can tell so much more. Your eyes have the power to re-establish trust in a relationship, so make sure to use it to your advantage.
16. Romance maintenance is also important
Long-term relationships require constant maintenance of romance because, without it, your relationship would become dull and lifeless. Trust-building exercise includes also implementing romantic elements into your relationship.
You don’t need to be a hopeless romantic in order to maintain romance the right way. All you need to do is pay attention to making romantic gestures frequently.
To men: Don’t buy flowers only on Valentine’s Day.
To women: Don’t wait for your man to always hug you first.
Romance is a broad term and it can mean anything. To some people, romance represents hugging your partner from behind (when they least expect it). To others, romance represents surprising your loved one with love poems and romantic messages.
There is no wrong or right way when it comes to romancing. What matters is that it comes from the heart.
17. Consider going to couples therapy
Gone are the days when licensed therapists, couples counselors, or family therapists were considered superfluous. Going for couples counseling is one of the best ways to reconnect with your partner with the guidance of a third person who is a professional.
When my partner and I attended marriage counseling sessions, I found it a really fun experience! I was so excited about all those therapy worksheets including marriage and family therapy exercises.
So, if you and your partner find it hard to re-establish trust on your own, maybe it’s time to seek professional help!
See also: Sound Relationship House Theory And 9 Ways To Build It
Can You Rebuild Trust After Cheating?
Yes, it’s possible to rebuild trust after cheating. It won’t be easy for sure but it’s totally doable. The only thing both partners need to think about beforehand is the following: Is it worth it?
If both partners aren’t equally invested in the process of rebuilding trust, then it will be hard to achieve positive results. Therefore, it takes two to rebuild trust just as it takes two to tango.
Trust building exercises, going to couples therapy, and other things are great ways to re-establish once broken trust. All you need to do is be persistent and have a strong will.
How Long Does It Take To Rebuild Trust After Infidelity?
Even though this varies from couple to couple, it’s estimated that rebuilding trust takes around 1-2 years. Again, the timespan of rebuilding trust will greatly depend on the types of methods the couple has implemented.
Some couples find it easier to rebuild trust by simply spending more quality time together while others need more work on their relationship. Trust building also depends on the type of infidelity couples had to deal with.
Emotional infidelity is more heartbreaking and harmful for relationships than physical infidelity. Therefore, it takes more time to recover from it and once again establish trust.
Final Thoughts
You can use these trust building exercises for couples after infidelity any time you want. Don’t just see them as tasks that need to be done.
Your relationship deserves to be maintained the right way throughout the year and regardless of circumstances. Implementing these trust building exercises into your daily life is the way to go!