I’m not ashamed to admit that I dream about my ex every night. It began fairly recently and it has really started to bug me.
What does this signify for my new relationship? Am I still holding a torch for my ex-boyfriend?
Does it mean that I’m unhappy in my real life and my dreams are trying to tell me something?
I had so many questions as to how it would reflect on my current relationship, so I consulted an expert for some much-needed dream analysis of my subconscious mind.
My current partner isn’t exactly pleased about my vivid dreams and thinks that I want my ex back.
I don’t, so in order to prove it to him (and to myself), I decided to take control of the situation.
And it turns out there is an array of dream interpretations that really do make it all make sense!
Do you dream about your ex?
If you do, worry not. It has more to do with you than with your ex-partner.
Here are all the common dream meanings you’ve been too scared to delve into.
Different Meanings Behind Vivid Dreams About Your Ex-Partner
A nostalgic dream about your first love
A first love represents excitement, hope, new things, and the everlasting feeling of innocent joy.
And when you dream about falling for your first love, it’s your mind trying to tell you something.
It’s telling you to go out there and find that feeling again.
Don’t be scared to give your heart again and experience all the emotions you dreamt about last week.
This is a common dream and it usually occurs when your current life lacks spontaneity and adventure.
It’s your mind’s way of telling you that you can find all the joy you had in your past relationship.
You just have to go out there and get it, especially if your waking hours aren’t nearly as eventful as last night’s dream.
I have a friend who’s a dream analyst and she was gracious enough to point me in the right direction.
She managed to reassure me that no, it doesn’t mean I miss my ex-husband.
It merely means that I’m in need of love, passion, and togetherness. And for the first time in a long time, I finally feel that I can get to that place again.
Regardless of my bad breakup and a tough last year, I can find that first love type of relationship again, and so can you.
A dream about your most recent ex
If it was a bad breakup, it’s likely your subconscious mind trying to help you get over the breakup as quickly as you can.
Ask yourself how you feel about it. Do you secretly wish that your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend was still in your life?
Do you still pray that things might work out?
Perhaps you’re bitter and resentful over how it all transpired? Or maybe you were the one who caused the breakup to happen?
What is it about this particular ex that means your mind won’t let you get over them?
If you went no-contact but you still feel the lack of closure is keeping you up at night, this is your sign to do something about it.
I know how perplexing and painful dreams about an ex can be.
Unfortunately, since I dream about my ex every night, I’m still trying to resolve my own issues.
But after you give these dream interpretations some real thought, you’ll see that it’s all about you and your coping mechanism.
You’re just trying to find the best way to recuperate, heal, and move on with a clean slate.
But when you dream about this person despite your efforts to forget about them, it shows they’re still engraved in your mind.
Until you actively try to seek closure and end it, but for real this time, your dreams will keep pestering you.
A dream where your ex wants you back
This is something that I personally dream about the most. It’s usually me and my ex-boyfriend, at my place, talking things through.
Suddenly, he starts getting closer to me, and with a nostalgic, mysterious look in his eye, he tries to kiss me with such passion.
I’m happy about it, but I don’t show it immediately, as I’m confused about what’s happening.
Then he tells me that he’s just not happy without me. I’m his best friend and he’s sorry that he let me go.
At that point, I burst with happiness as I feel the exact same way and I embrace him and take him back.
And then, I wake up and realize that it was all just a really vivid dream.
What my dream analyst friend told me is that this is all a reflection of me and my innermost thoughts and wishes.
It’s not actually my ex wanting me back, it’s the other way around. That really messed me up. How could I not be aware of my own feelings?
I really wanted to know what dreaming about an ex means, but I wasn’t prepared for this.
All the sweet talk, kind gestures, and passionate kisses were a projection of my imagination.
Yeah, dreams really do have a way of making you feel like you’re not doing as well as you thought you were.
Turns out, when you dream about an apologetic ex, it’s nothing but you hoping that there’s still a chance.
It’s your subconscious mind making up scenarios that you wish were true.
But they’re not. I’m still figuring out how to process it all, but hey, at least now I know what I need to work on, and that’s something, right?
A dream in which your ex turns you down
Okay, this is one of the most painfully excruciating dreams you could have.
As if being rejected in real life wasn’t painful enough, you have to suffer through it in your dreams too.
But there’s a hidden meaning there as well. You see, when your ex keeps rejecting you in your dreams, it’s not to hurt you.
It’s your dream trying to help you to snap out of it and come back to reality.
You’re probably so stuck in your past relationship that you’ve lost touch with yourself.
I was told to see this dream as a conversation with myself.
Every single thing that your ex is conveying, that’s actually YOU telling yourself that.
It’s a painful reminder, yes, but one that you clearly need.
When he tells you that he doesn’t want you, that’s you reminding yourself of that. To preserve your heart and move on for good.
So despite the fact that I dream about my ex every night, now I at least know there’s a method to this madness – and it’s not to feel worse than I already do.
It’s to remind myself of all the bad things that propelled me to end that relationship. It’s to make me see that this person isn’t right for me.
Our minds are truly miraculous.
Even when we keep trying to suppress the reality of our emotions, our mind will never let us rest until we’re truly over whatever’s holding us back.
A dream in which you’re arguing with an ex-partner
This dream goes deeper than it lets on.
It’s not so much about your ex-lover, but more about a current battle that you’re experiencing in your life right now.
Ask yourself about the most draining thing in your life at the moment.
This cherished ex represents something that feels currently insurmountable.
Are you secretly mad at yourself for some reason? Have you not been showing yourself enough love lately?
This argument could represent your love-hate relationship with your own self.
You are arguing with a side of yourself that for some you’re reason suppressing. We all have trouble staying true to who we are.
Nobody is exempt from that, but you do have a chance to delve deeper into this right now.
If you’re struggling with self-love or with your inability to be there for your friends the way you want to be, that’s okay.
You don’t have to hate yourself for being in a tough place right now. You’re just as deserving of love as anyone else.
Your dream is the reflection of your fight for yourself.
You’re trying to find that healthy balance in your life that everyone keeps talking about but no one really understands fully.
So whatever it is, take your time.
Don’t be harsh on yourself to the point of it manifesting in such vivid dreams. We can be our own worst critics sometimes.
And whatever you’re being told in your dream isn’t real.
You’re doing fine. Your pace is your own. Things will work out in the end. If they haven’t, yet, it’s not the end!
So be gentle with how you treat yourself.
A dream about being dragged back into a relationship with a toxic ex
Regardless of whether this is a dream in which your cheating ex is being unfaithful again, or whether your abusive ex has clawed his way back into your life, the meanings are the same.
According to a dream analyst that I sought answers from, whenever we have dreams that represent us getting back together with a hurtful ex, it’s a form of PTSD subconsciously gnawing at you.
No matter what kind of pain your ex inflicted on you (be it emotional, verbal, or physical) toxic relationship PTSD is very real.
Women who suffered traumatic relationships where they endured enormous stress and pain are very much still traumatized from the experience, which is evident in the horrid dreams they continue to have.
You feel as though you’re still reliving every dreadful moment that being with that ex caused you.
So my advice is to engage in some much-needed introspection.
How much do you still blame yourself for what you endured? Are you beating yourself up even though you were the victim here?
I encourage you to speak to a licensed professional to help you process what’s currently happening if you can’t make sense of it by yourself.
It’s very common for women who are in abusive relationships to stay much longer than they want to.
It’s out of fear, and it’s important to know that what happened is in no way your fault.
Getting out of that toxic environment was probably the bravest thing you could’ve done.
You should applaud yourself for finding a way out instead of blaming yourself for staying too long.
Your dreams reflect how you feel about yourself regarding that particular relationship, You’re still (subconsciously) allowing abuse to follow you.
But now, you’re the one causing it to yourself.
Not physically, but psychologically.
A dream about your ex’s irritating habits that ultimately pushed you away
It’s funny how your mind doesn’t forget anything.
It stores every pesky, annoying habit you endured and chooses to remind you in the most peculiar ways.
So yeah, you can imagine what a dream about your ex’s most annoying habits might represent.
Basically, if you’re in a relationship right now, it means that your partner is a lot like your ex.
And what does your dream have to do with that? Well, it’s issuing a warning that their toxic habits somehow coincide.
They remind you too much of your ex and their habits are beginning to be less and less bearable.
Let’s say your ex smoked three packs of cigarettes a day (you’re right to have a problem with that).
Your current relationship doesn’t have to be with a heavy smoker.
It could be with someone who perhaps drinks a lot, or has a tendency to leave dirty dishes to “soak” for three days.
And you’re unknowingly afraid that this could become the deal-breaker that will push you away from your current partner in the same way it did with your ex.
Now think long and hard about what this means for your new relationship.
Their annoying habit has already started to be a bit more than you want to deal with.
Then remind yourself how it ended with your ex.
Could this be your wake-up call?
A dream in which you keep reliving a painful breakup
The most important thing to consider right now is when the breakup actually occurred. Was it fairly recently?
If that’s the case, your dream is a sign that you’re still reeling from it.
You clearly still have unresolved issues regarding it and there’s some residual trauma that won’t let you just be.
But if we’re talking about a breakup that happened a long time ago (try years ago), and you keep experiencing your ex breaking up with you on a loop, it’s time for some questions.
Something is clearly going on in your life right now that is making you relive this breakup.
Have you been turned down for a job you really wanted?
Are you having problems with your best friend? Are you feeling rejected in some aspect of your life?
It’s on you to figure out where this is coming from. But it’s not as superficial as it appears.
Don’t think to yourself, I dream about my ex every night, it must mean I’m still drawn to them.
It could have nothing to do with an ex, and everything to do with a situation that is making you feel unwanted at the moment.
This is nothing some introspection can’t resolve. We all feel undesirable, less worthy, and unimportant at times.
That’s just life for you.
But at some point, you have to snap out of it, look ahead, and chase your dreams no matter what. It’ll give you the resolution you’re hoping for.
A dream where you’re trying to save your ex from physical pain
This ex is someone you held very dear to your heart for a substantial amount of time and who meant a great deal to you.
This person might have taught you a lot about life, love, and everything in between.
The lessons you learned there will follow you wherever you go and now you’re realizing there’s something from that relationship that you need to remind yourself of.
Could it be a lesson that has made your subsequent relationships easier or words of wisdom you gained from them that truly resonated with you?
Salvage it, whatever it is. This is not like most situations with toxic exes that we all go through.
This person was a kind, nurturing individual who made you stronger, more capable, and confident.
Seldom do we have an ex who’s left such a long-lasting positive impact on our lives, don’t you think?
Your subconscious mind is urging you to remind yourself of the person you were with them. To remind yourself of your abilities and strength.
The way they made you feel was special, and now, even though you’re no longer together, you have to go back to that inspiring, confident person to maximize your full potential.
A dream where you ex has happily moved on
This dream is a sign that you’re finally accepting things for how they are and you’ve come to peace with the fact that your ex will eventually move on.
Of all the dreams you could have, this one signifies a mature resolution of past conflict that has actually started to bring you peace.
You are finally starting to get your life back. You are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Yes, your ex will indeed have a life after you, and that’s okay.
If anything, this should encourage you to go find your own happily-ever-after. You should go find your own fulfillment that you deserve.
People break up, move on, and find that missing piece all the time. And now you’re aware that it’s not the end of the world.
You’ve accepted the fact your ex is with a new person and you’re ready to do the same.
If you’re already in a new relationship, it means you’ve finally stopped comparing them.
Now, you get to enjoy a life in which you won’t be plagued by your ex’s whereabouts, but rather focus on what’s in front of you.
Be it your new partner, a great job opportunity, or a solid circle of friends who have made every step a little less painful.
You’re okay. You’re finding yourself.
As long as you keep pushing yourself forward without holding secret grudges toward them, you’re going to be just fine.
A dream in which you’re around your ex’s family
When I dream about my ex every night, it’s usually a painful reminder of what I went through and what I need to steer clear of.
But a dream in which you’re spending time with your ex’s family, having fun chit-chatting, and feeling comfortable and safe is a reminder of a routine that has remained engraved in your mind.
It’s not unusual, especially if your relationship was a serious one.
You got used to your little routine, and the comfort level you felt is now sorely missing from your life.
You miss the feeling of having a group of people around you who make you feel loved and comfortable.
And subconsciously, you’re missing that feeling of unity.
As days go by, it’s becoming painfully more and more obvious that your past relationship brought you, not one person you relied on, but an entire team of people.
You loved having breakfast with their parents every week. You enjoyed their siblings’ embarrassing accounts of what they were like as a kid.
Even their grandma left a lasting impression with her nostalgic stories and a seriously kind heart.
But now, it’s time to find a new routine and a new group of people who will provide you with the same feeling. I promise it’s possible.
It’s never easy saying goodbye to something that was hard to describe with words.
But eventually, you’re going to find it again, only this time, with the right person.