I can’t do this anymore, whatever this might be.
My mind is about to explode and my feelings are going to be the end of me if I allow this to continue for much longer.
I don’t have a switch on my heart so I can turn my feelings on and off depending on your presence in my life.
I can’t be here just when it’s convenient to you. I refuse to be in anything less than a committed relationship.
We tried that already, we let things be casual and it isn’t working. It’s just hurting me more and more and it’s becoming unbearable.
Do you know what it feels like to stare at an empty screen hoping for a text from you?
You probably have no clue because I never did that to you. I always reply as soon as I see a text.
I don’t play games. I never do anything to hurt you intentionally.
On the other hand, you do just that. You play with my emotions like they are made from steel, like I can handle anything.
A simple text wouldn’t kill you, ‘Hi, how are you?’ is all I am asking for every day and if you can’t do that, it’s better we don’t hear from each other anymore.
I am tired of being the one who texts first most of the time. I am tired of being the one who sits and waits for a reply.
I am done waiting for you to show me that you care by doing something as simple as texting.
Do you know how much I hate those 3 am calls because I know I am missing out on the 3 pm ones?
Whenever I get a call from you so late, I know that you are lonely, possibly drunk and you would say and do anything to crawl into my bed.
I hate to admit it but I have fallen under the 3 pm spell a few times.
I guess I was seizing every moment of warmth you would give me, no matter the time.
But the mornings would always be cold because you would immediately distance yourself from me.
That is why now, a 3 pm call is what I want from you. It’s the call that says I am super busy but I want to hear your voice because I miss you.
I don’t want to feel like a booty call, I want to feel loved.
Do you know how exhausted I am because everything is coming from my end?
I guess my cup is empty and I have nothing to pour from anymore. It’s surprising that my energy lasted this long.
I tried, I really did but it isn’t just up to me to hold us together. Relationships are made for two and this one-sided story we are in can’t continue any longer.
I need you to step up your game. Make efforts, invest as much as I do, show me that you don’t want to lose me and we might have a shot at creating something beautiful.
Do you know how hard it is to walk all over my pride and let you in again?
Do you know how stupid I feel for believing that something will change the next time around?
The reality is nothing ever changes, yet my hopes are getting bigger. Stupid, right?
I know that all too well but I guess my feelings for you are bigger than my pride, they are bigger than anything, that’s why I am putting up with so much crap from you.
Please understand me when I say that I have finally reached my limit. I hit rock bottom and there will be no more chances after this one.
So take it, fight to keep me by your side if you feel the same way for me as I do for you or GTFO…and I say that with the best intentions for both of our sakes.
