I’ve already wasted 2 years, 25 days, 2 hours and 12 minutes deciphering your mixed signals and I won’t waste another second. I won’t wait for a miracle. I won’t spend my life hoping for something that will never be. I am putting a stop to it here and now.
I know you don’t agree. I know you will want me back now that I am slipping through your fingers. I know it because we’ve already had situations like this. I would say how I can’t put up with your crap anymore and that we are done. But you would always find a way to sneak back under my skin.
You would tell me all I wanted to hear and I would believe you because my heart wanted to believe you. My instincts were telling me you were full of it but I wanted them to be wrong, so I chose to ignore them. I went against my better judgment and continued to put all of my trust in someone so vague.
You used those mixed signals to keep me just as close as you wanted me to be and not an inch closer. I was always somewhere in front of your heart but you never truly let me in. On the other hand, my whole self was all yours and you knew that well.
You knew just how strong my feelings were and you took that as my weakness. Instead of appreciating me and the way I treated you, you just kept on playing games. One day, you were all over me. I was the sun of your day and the moonlight that guided you through the night and the next moment, you would shut me off completely.
You would send me the sweetest text and then go days without responding to a text from me. You would make plans for us to see a movie I’d been telling you about for so long and then you would cancel plans last minute. You would say I was the most beautiful and most interesting woman alive then you would go weeks without seeing me, always having some lame-ass excuse.
You never wanted to label anything because you were not ready but then you would introduce me to your friends. You would say you can’t commit right now but you don’t know what the future will bring. You would say you don’t want to be exclusive but you couldn’t stand seeing me with anybody else.
You were full of contradictions. You would say one thing, do another and only God knows what you were truly thinking. You were using those mixed signals. You relied on me seeing the best in you and you have been getting away with it for a long time.
For way too long in fact and I should have put a stop to this a long time ago. I should have remembered that I am worthy of love—that true, unconditional, can’t live without you type of love—and not settle for this BS you were giving me. I should have seen that the message behind those mixed signals was obvious: you just don’t care about me enough.
I’ve finally gotten that message now. 2 years, 25 days, 2 hours and 12 minutes after but just in time to say my final goodbye and thank you for the lesson. I will never again waste my time on anybody who even tries to send me mixed signals. Next time, I will recognize the meaning behind the message. Next time, I will ignore it without giving it a second look.