Before you were about to get married, how did you imagine your marriage? Is it any similar to the one you have today? Is your husband a man whom you’ve always wanted to marry?
And, the most important question of all: Do you think your husband is still in love with you? If the answer to the last question is yes, then chances are that he still genuinely loves you.
If your answer is no, then there must be a reason why you started suspecting that your husband is no longer in love with you.
Before I write anything else, allow me to express my visions of a marriage: Being in a marriage is a wonderful thing, but for it to work, it requires lots of effort, sheer commitment, and maintaining the spark in your relationship.
Being married is not only saying to each other I love you every night before you go to sleep.
It’s about listening to each other, holding each other’s hand when you’re feeling scared, sharing household chores, you name it.
There are so many aspects of a marriage that need to be met in order for a marriage to function. One thing is sure: Happy marriages don’t happen overnight.
A happy marriage is a process of constantly going through ups and downs, but still not giving up on each other and your marriage.
If you suspect that your marriage is no longer the same happy marriage as it used to be before, and that your husband has “given up on you” and no longer loves you, then there must be a valid reason behind it.
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” – Joyce Brothers
I want you to close your eyes for a second and try to forget everything you’ve seen about marriages in movies.
They represent a happy marriage as a perfect union of a man and a woman, which makes regular people think that their marriage shouldn’t include arguments or similar.
Guess what? There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. There are no perfect wives or perfect husbands.
I’m saying all this because some women might get the wrong idea that their husband doesn’t love them just because he forgot to do some things that he should have done. It’s true.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, but it’s also remembering to do all those little things.
Being in a healthy marriage is about sharing responsibilities, helping each other with different tasks, and supporting each other.
Now, does your husband forget to do all those little things like taking out the trash, kissing you good night, and similar?
If yes, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you anymore.
Perhaps he just forgot the importance of making an effort in the marriage, and because of that, he turned into what’s known as a selfish husband.
There are also disrespectful husbands who compare you to other women. Through time, the majority of spouses turn into variations of different types of husbands (the same applies to women).
In most of the cases, this doesn’t mean that he no longer loves you, but he just needs to wake up and realize that he’s no longer the same husband as he used to be.
The question is: Why do spouses (read: husbands) become stagnant after some time in marriage?
I bet this question sounds familiar to you.
So, have you noticed a lack of effort in your marriage? Do you still find new ways of showing affection to each other? Does your husband still make you feel special like before?
The ‘stagnant spouse’ syndrome has been a real trend for some time now. Perhaps it’s connected with our hectic lifestyles, or maybe we’re becoming too casual with each other.
The main reason why spouses become stagnant after some time in marriage is because they take what they have for granted. They forget to express gratitude and celebrate their spouse.
Perhaps the reason why your husband no longer tells you I love you is because he assumes that you already know that or he has gotten tired of repeating that one sentence. Still, these are not valid excuses.
What I’m trying to say is that the moment you start suspecting that your husband no longer loves you is when he becomes stagnant.
When that happens, you need to let him know that things have to change if you want to save your marriage.
If your husband is willing to change some things, then you can be one hundred percent sure that he still loves you.
Always pay attention to the amount of his efforts and his willingness to reciprocate.
A husband who doesn’t give a damn what you’re saying to him is a stagnant husband who will probably never change because he doesn’t want to and because he might no longer care about you.
Here are some more painful signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore:
- Lack of (healthy) communication
- Fighting all the time
- Lack of physical intimacy
- Criticizing you all the time
Along with low efforts, lack of healthy communication is the number one sign that something is off in your marriage. Healthy communication is the basis of every happy relationship.
Without expressing your wishes, concerns, and similar, you’re not able to communicate what you really want from your partner.
That is where fighting becomes the main weapon of choice in a marriage.
It looks something like this:
You: Why didn’t you take out the trash?!
Your husband: You didn’t even tell me to do it!
You: You should have remembered to do it by yourself without me telling you to do it. Am I the only one in this house who has to think of everything?
Your husband: Why do you have to be so annoying all the time?
A few moments later, you hide yourself somewhere in the house and start thinking about your marriage and how your husband no longer loves you. But, is that really the truth?
Sometimes it is, sometimes it’s not. But, I’ll tell you one secret.
If you notice both lack of healthy communication and lack of effort in every aspect of your marriage, then it’s a huge red flag that your husband might no longer be in love with you.
If you suspect that your husband no longer loves you…
Wondering what to do if you suspect that your husband no longer loves you? Communicate! Tell him how you’re feeling and how he’s making you feel in your marriage.
Talk about all the things that you SHOULD and COULD improve in the marriage.
If you notice that your husband is unwilling to cooperate and he doesn’t express any wish to start working on your marriage, then I’m sorry to tell you, but there’s nothing you can do about it.
You cannot force someone to love you if they no longer do. If your husband wants a divorce, but you still love him, don’t beg him and don’t try to convince him that he’s making a wrong decision.
Give him some space to think about what he wants. Perhaps he’ll change his mind once he realizes that he made a mistake by making an impulsive decision.
Keep in mind that you deserve a spouse who will cherish you, protect you, and make you feel loved every day of your life.
If you think your husband can no longer do any of these things, then it might be time to start a new chapter in your life and close the existing one.