You feel lonely in your relationship or marriage, and you feel like screaming, “My sexless marriage is killing me!” You feel like you can’t take it anymore.
Regardless of why you’re interested in this, we won’t judge. You could be here to enhance physical pleasure, reach out to your partner, or make a move on your sex life. All of these reasons matter.
Of course, low sex drive, health issues, ruined mental health, and no sexual desire could be the reasons you are facing this problem. Of course, you need to look deep into yourself to find out why.
I believe this article will help you and your partner reach sexual intimacy again and get that fire started in bed. If not, you need to face the truth: it’s going to be a divorce or proceeding to live like this.
My Sexless Marriage Is Killing Me! Is Intimacy Important?
It is important to note that a sexless marriage does not necessarily mean that there is a lack of intimacy in the relationship. Sexless marriages can be happy and fulfilling, with couples who are deeply in love and find other ways of expressing their love for each other.
However, a sexless marriage can also be unhappy with partners who are physically attracted to one another. Sadly, they don’t experience physical intimacy because they’re not sexually compatible, they’re too tired after work, or they’re dealing with health problems.
Remember, sex is more than just pleasure. It’s a way for two people to connect and enjoy spending time with one another.
Some people think that intimacy is not important in a marriage and that it is not worth the effort. But, according to Dr. David Schnarch, intimacy is the glue that holds a couple together.
Intimacy can be defined as an emotional connection with another person. It’s important because it helps people feel loved and cared for in relationships.
We can achieve intimacy through physical contact, emotional closeness, sexual intercourse, or any other form of physical or emotional interaction between two people. Intimacy allows partners to feel closer and more connected to one another.
So, to answer your question, physical intimacy is essential in a relationship. A lack of sex or a sexless relationship is bound to cause sexual frustration in both partners or other relationship issues.
7 Reasons Why You’ve Lost Interest In Sex
I know, I know. “My sexless marriage is killing me.” I understand. Here are some of the reasons you might’ve lost interest in sex in the first place:
1. Mental health
Maybe you are facing depression, anxiety, or other mental health problems because your significant other told you a few of the worst things they could. Perhaps you believe they don’t love you anymore.
Mental health problems can make marriage difficult in many ways and cause serious distress to the person suffering from them. They can also affect other family members, such as children or family members who live with them.
2. Sexual health
The issue of reproductive health in marriage is a piece of significant marriage advice for many people. We must understand what it means and how to take care of our reproductive health. If we don’t, our sexual health and marriage might suffer.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and you should be prepared for any situation that may arise when it comes to your reproductive health. Some people think that just because they are married, they no longer need to worry about their sexual health.
Yes, you might be saying, “my sexless marriage is killing me” because you are facing menopause or erectile dysfunction. You might think your marriage is over.
Once menopause kicks in, it means there will be little intercourse between a couple. Another reason menopause might be why you are facing a sexless marriage is because women who are going through menopause can develop depression.
Depression is caused by changes in the levels of estrogen and testosterone. High levels of estrogen cause depression, while high testosterone levels cause mood swings, irritability, and aggressiveness.
4. No sexual desire or will
Sexual desire is an important component in a marriage. A marriage without sexual desire can be difficult to maintain. You’ve lost interest in sex in your marriage because of your low libido.
This might be the first time in your life you are facing this problem, so seek professional help from a doctor or physician. Don’t worry, you don’t hate your husband or wife – it’s probably just your hormones. (Or do you secretly desire to be in a half-open marriage?)
5. Other sexual problems
It is not uncommon for couples to experience intimacy problems in their marriage, which can lead to no sexual desire in the bedroom. These problems can stem from a variety of sources, including stress, children, work, and other factors.
Often, these problems are not addressed, and the couple just continues to live with them. Meditation is a very valuable tool for couples in this case. It is an excellent way to spend quality time together and work on your relationship in general.
6. Trust issues
Many couples experience trust issues in their marriages. It is a common problem, and its reasons vary from partner to partner. Of course, this can be why you are no longer enjoying sex.
We all have our own way of dealing with trust issues in a marriage. Some people will go on a date night every week, others will take time for themselves or spend more time with friends, and some people might get counseling.
Remember, the goal is to respect your husband or wife and tell them that you are facing problems.
7. Self-esteem problems
You might believe your husband or wife is not attracted to you anymore, which might lead to problems with your self-esteem. There are many different causes for low self-esteem.
One common cause is an individual’s childhood experiences with their parents or other adults in their life. This can happen if they were never told they were good enough or didn’t receive enough praise as a child.
They may have been criticized more than praised or made fun of by others at school, which may have made them think they weren’t good enough either.
10 Solutions To A Sexless Marriage
Here are my 12 solutions for you that you can use regardless of why you are facing a pause in your sexual relationship:
1. Talk it through
Stop with shouting “my sexless marriage is killing me” to everyone. Also, stop checking off items on that divorce checklist and tell the person who should care.
I understand many people have a hard time discussing their relationship problems with their partners. They often think that it will lead to an argument, or the problem will not be solved.
But, the truth is that talking about your marriage problems can actually help you and your partner. Talking about it can help you learn more about each other and understand one another better. It can also provide a sense of relief from keeping your feelings inside.
2. Listen to your partner
Remember when you dreamed of growing old together? The importance of listening is often taken for granted in marriage. In fact, it is one of the most important things to do in a marriage.
Many people think that they are good listeners, but they are not. They just think they are. We can tell if we are good listeners by how we react to what our partner says and how much we engage with them.
Listening is an incredibly important part of a healthy and happy marriage, and it has been shown to improve communication between couples as well as their relationship overall. Of course, don’t let your wife or husband be mean to you.
3. Understand where the problem lies
Do you not want them to touch you anymore? Does sex no longer seem appealing? Can you not have sex due to a medical condition? Does cuddling or masturbation seem better? All of this is easily negotiable. All you have to do is say so.
Marriage is a long-term commitment that requires a lot of work. One of the most common problems in marriages is that couples stop appreciating each other.
When people constantly criticize their partners and do not tell them what they do well, they feel unappreciated and unloved. If you are worried about your marriage, you should start by being more appreciative of your spouse.
4. Be completely honest
A married couple needs to be honest with each other and share their feelings, regardless of the situation.
Your unhappy marriage became unhappy because you lied or hid from the truth. This is why you need to talk to your partner and be completely honest with what you have to say. Being honest is one of the most important solutions in fixing your sexless marriage.
Remember, there is no point in hiding anything from them. It will only lead to more confusion and hurt feelings. Hiding things from your spouse will not solve the problem – it will only make it worse.
5. Decide how you feel about sex
Remember, you are not the perfect husband or wife, and you do not hate your wife or husband, even though sex might be weird with them.
Feelings about sex are a complex topic. There are many different opinions on this, and it is not a black and white issue. So, you need to address this question alone and know your own stance on it. Only then should you talk to your partner.
Some people believe that sex in marriage is not necessary. Others believe that it is a natural part of relationships and should not be avoided. There are also those who think that sex in marriage is important but should be limited or done only for procreation.
6. Patience is key
Marriage is a commitment that needs to be nurtured. It takes patience to deal with each other’s flaws, weaknesses, and eccentricities. There will be times when you will feel like giving up on your partner, but you need to keep going for the sake of your marriage.
Patience is important in marriage because it makes the relationship stronger and helps it stand the test of time. With patience, a loveless marriage can turn into a fairytale. So, you need patience with your spouse to turn a negative story into a positive one.
7. Seek help
There are many benefits to couples counseling, and I believe it is the best way to solve your sexless marriage problems. It can help partners improve their communication, understand each other better, and make compromises.
It also helps partners avoid arguments that lead to violence or separation. Of course, they may also feel embarrassed about discussing personal problems with someone else outside their marriage.
If this is the case, save your marriage by preparing yourself for marriage counseling or trying a specialized sex therapist.
8. Be kind
Being kind to your partner in your marriage is not as simple as it seems. It requires a lot of selflessness and understanding. Sometimes, you may feel like you are being taken for granted, but remember that marriage takes two people committed to each other.
Remember to support each other in difficult times (even when it feels like you are the only one who is trying). Be honest with your partner about what you want from them. Also, be kind even when your partner is not being kind to you.
You should always choose kindness with your partner. My husband and I have our differences, but we always treat each other with respect and love.
9. Introduce it back slowly
How do I reintroduce intimacy into my life when my sexless marriage is killing me? Well, first you should start with things such as going on dates, talking about your feelings with each other, and spending time together doing something you both enjoy.
If you want to reintroduce sex into the marriage again, here is what you need to do: Create a space for intimacy by clearing all distractions. Of course, plan ahead and set aside time for intimacy.
Set aside time for the two of you to be together, just the two of you, without any interruptions or distractions. Talk about what feels good and what doesn’t. Then, let the evening lead you.
10. Loosen up
If you want to get your husband or wife in the mood again, try to loosen up a bit and enjoy life. I understand that fights and stress with co-workers might be bad for you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have fun.
Having fun is a very important part of marriage. Your marriage should be a place where you feel safe and loved, but it should also be a place where you can feel joy and laughter. Try parties, cruises, or vacations to feel at ease.
What Are My Options In A Sexless Marriage?
Now that we have covered the possible reasons why you are facing this problem and a few solutions to them, I believe it is time to look at which options you now have. A married couple’s sex life is the basis on which their emotional intimacy and emotional connection rest.
This is why their sex life needs to be nourished and fun for both of them. After the honeymoon period, you struggle to even think of the last time you had intercourse. This means you are stuck and keep saying to yourself: My sexless marriage is killing me.
Here are the options you have now:
• DIVORCE: There are many reasons for divorce, including incompatibility, financial difficulties, and irreconcilable differences. If you see no other way out, walk away.
• WORK ON IT: Follow my 12 solutions and get to the bottom of why you are facing this problem.
• COUPLES THERAPY: Couples therapy is an effective treatment for many couples, and it has been proven to have positive outcomes. The therapist will ask questions about the relationship and then help the couple work through their problems together.
•LIVE IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE: The worst choice out of all of them. You and your wife or husband are essentially roommates.
• ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY: If the answer is this simple, just do it. Having a sexual encounter with your significant other is recommended if the answer is so simple.
• CONSULT A SEX THERAPIST OR DOCTOR: Last but not least, if your problem is on the medical side, consult your doctor or sex therapist.
Those are the ways you could deal with your sexless marriage. Hopefully, this article will help you understand your problem better and form a new approach.
Remember, the first step is to communicate with your partner. If they are not willing to change, then you should explore other options. Of course, you can talk to a therapist or find a support group.
How Long Can A Marriage Last Without Intimacy?
Without intimacy, a marriage can last four to five years. This question has been asked by many couples and experts alike.
Some say that a marriage can last without intimacy if the couple spends time together and has other interests outside of their marriage. Others say that a lack of intimacy will eventually lead to divorce.
The truth is that there are no concrete studies on this topic, so we don’t know how long a marriage can last without intimacy.
Intimacy is an important part of marriage. It is what keeps a couple together. It is what helps them connect with each other and what brings them closer. Intimacy is also the key to a happy marriage or achieving your marriage goals.
We can achieve intimacy through physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy. When one or more of these types of intimacy are missing from a relationship, the marriage will suffer and fail.
What Can You Do As A Spouse To Keep A Marriage Alive?
We all know true love is hard work. It is common to see a lot of people in relationships going through a phase of boredom. This can happen due to many reasons, like work pressure, financial problems, and so on.
But the most common reason for this boredom in your sexual relationship is lack of communication. No, you are not a total mismatch in people, and your physical relationship is not dying, as you might believe.
The first step you can take as a spouse to keep your marriage alive is by talking about the problems you are facing together and figuring out ways to solve them.
Spouses need to have an open communication channel with each other and share their thoughts with one another. This will help them understand each other better and also make them feel more connected with each other.
So, here are some ideas on how to spice it up and keep your marriage alive:
• Surprise each other
• Let yourself be vulnerable
• Put each other first
• Plan date nights
Work On It!
Yes, if you believe your bond is strong, your marriage can live through this. Hopefully, you will laugh about how you had a sexless phase last year.
Regardless of whether we are talking about health issues, low libido, a medical condition, or no interest in good sex, having bigger self-esteem and focusing on the sexual needs of your partner will lead you to a healthy relationship again.
I hope this article helped you understand how to fight this problem, what to do about it, and that you won’t have to scream “my sexless marriage is killing me” all the time.
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