15 segni che il vostro matrimonio finirà con un divorzio
According to statistics, the divorce rate among couples is skyrocketing. I mean, just look around you – Tutte le persone che conoscete hanno già divorziato o hanno intenzione di rivolgersi a un avvocato divorzista prima o poi.
Ma quali sono i predittori più comuni di divorzio? E soprattutto, In che modo il vostro matrimonio è diverso?
Well, I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you can relate to most of these 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce, it’s not.
15 segni che il vostro matrimonio finirà con un divorzio
Considerate questo come una sorta di “should I get a divorce?” quiz. Se la maggior parte di queste caselle è selezionata, il vostro matrimonio è destinato a fallire, che vi piaccia o no:
1. L'amore non può vivere dove non c'è fiducia
The first warning sign you’re heading to divorce is a mancanza di fiducia between you and your spouse. Come on, you can’t have a healthy relationship with a friend or coworker if you don’t trust each other – let alone the person you share a life with.
Il fatto di non fidarsi l'uno dell'altro ha due aspetti.
Il primo è non avere fiducia in loro. You can’t rely on them when you need their help.
You don’t know if they’ll be there to pick up the pieces and if they won’t back out on you when you’re going through a rough patch.
Basically, you’ve both forgotten about those “through thick and thin” vows. Illness, mental health issues, substance abuse problems, poverty, family drama? They’re not who you can rely on in any of these situations.
At the same time, you don’t trust that they’re telling the truth. You doubt every single word that comes out of their mouth. You question everything they say or do, and you have to double-check their every move.
Of course, let’s not forget that you don’t trust each other’s judgment-making skills. Your partner is not the one whose advice you’ll ask for simply because you don’t think they are able to make a good choice.
2. Violenza domestica
Uno dei 15 segnali che indicano che il vostro matrimonio finirà con un divorzio è, senza dubbio, il seguente, violenza domestica. Ma tenete presente che ci sono molte altre tipi di abuso non solo fisico.
You may think that you two are good to go because you don’t hit each other. However, if there is abuso emotivo coinvolti, anche questo è un fattore predittivo di divorzio.
Sì, questo include anche l'abuso verbale. Se voi e il vostro partner continuate a dire cose offensive e essere cattivi to each other, it’s a clear sign to start searching for the best divorce lawyer.
And let’s not forget about sexual abuse either. Yes, that happens in marriages as well.
Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean they have the right to force you to sleep with them or do anything you don’t want to do in bed. Your body is yours, and your significant other must respect your boundaries.
3. Mancanza di rispetto
Il rispetto reciproco è uno dei fondamenti di un matrimonio sano. Dovete rispetta tuo marito e moglie, e loro dovrebbero fare lo stesso con voi.
Ma non c'è traccia di rispetto quando si tratta del vostro matrimonio infeliceNon c'è? Ebbene, questo è uno dei segni del divorzio.
Cosa significa mancanza di rispetto? Beh, se avete un marito irrispettoso or wife, they’ll never take your needs into consideration. This goes hand in hand with a marito egoista o moglie.
Your spouse will never treat you as their equal. On the contrary, they’ll always act as the dominante.
In base a ciò, dovreste seguire il loro esempio ed essere il sottomesso, no questions asked. Nevertheless, please, don’t confuse this with bedroom dynamics.
I’m talking about the fact that your SO makes all the decisions without ever including you. They don’t respect your opinions and attitudes.
They don’t listen to what you have to say, and most of the time, they treat you like a little kid.
As if that wasn’t enough, they also use every chance they get to insult and humiliate you – especially in front of others.
4. Diversi piani futuri
Your presence might be near perfection, but the sad reality is that it’s time for a divorce attorney if you don’t have the same future plans.
No, I’m not talking about the fact that you want to go to New York and they want to visit the Caribbean this summer, so you can’t reach a compromise.
Let’s picture it this way: you want to move to a bigger city, but your spouse’s lifelong dream is to live in the countryside. You want to chase your career while your SO wants you to be a stay-at-home parent.
And don’t get me started about children. In fact, this is probably the biggest deal-breaker. This is something you two should have discussed before tying the knot, but if you haven’t, and it turns out that you have different worldviews, you’ve got yourself a problem.
There is no compromise here. It’s not like one person will agree to have kids against their will, or the other sentences themselves to a childless life, despite wanting children. In that case, both spouses, including the children, will end up miserable.
That’s why divorce is the only solution to smettere di lavorare.
5. Visioni del mondo incompatibili
If two married people don’t share important world views and have different opinions on significant matters that impact both of them and their lives together, that is a recipe for an unhappy marriage right there.
I’m not saying that you and your spouse must have the same taste in music to make your marriage work. Despite being a team, you two are still two individuals, and it’s normal that you won’t agree on everything, nor should you.
However, let’s say that one person is strictly religious and the other wants nothing to do with spirituality and wants to enjoy their earthly life without any limitations?
E se uno vuole vivere con la famiglia allargata mentre l'altro si stufa di loro mentre è in vacanza, per non parlare di altro?
The examples are endless, but I’m sure you see where I’m going. At the end of the day, two married people should at least have similar worldviews and shared moral values for their marriage to work.
6. Mancanza di intimità fisica
Look, I’m not saying that good sex is what a successful marriage is all about. However, the tasso di divorzio among married couples who don’t sleep together is immensely high. After all, your bedroom activities are what differentiates you from two roommates or best friends who just live together.
It’s one thing if this is just a phase. Nevertheless, se il vostro il matrimonio diventa senza sesso, it’s definitely time for a marriage counselor.
Ma mancanza di intimità fisica doesn’t only mean that you two aren’t having sex. It also includes a mancanza di affetto, such as not sleeping together (in a literate sense of the word), no kissing, no cuddling, no holding hands, no hugging…
There is, without a doubt, something hidden behind these behavior patterns, and if you don’t work on it in time, it will definitely become one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
7. Couples therapy doesn’t work
When they go through a crisis they clearly can’t resolve by themselves, responsible married couples go to marriage counseling. And that is the right thing to do. Actually, visiting a marriage counselor is probably the best thing you can do to salvare il vostro matrimonio.
Ma cosa succede quando la terapia di coppia vi apre gli occhi e vi mostra che la vostra marriage isn’t worth savingnonostante tutti i vostri sforzi? In questo caso, non c'è altra scelta se non quella di smettere di lavorare.
I mean, you’ve tried it all, including separazione. You’ve followed all the consigli sul matrimonio Il vostro terapeuta familiare vi ha dato tutto, ma non ha funzionato nulla. A questo punto, la terapia è diventata una tortura.
It’s like you’re giving CPR to someone who’salready dead – nothing beneficial is going on, nor will it!
8. Infedeltà non perdonata
You’re probably wondering why I didn’t write just infidelity without the unforgiven part? The answer lies in the fact that some married couples manage to superare l'infedeltà e salvare il loro matrimonio nonostante ciò avvenga.
Ma se sapete che vostra moglie o Il marito ti tradisce and you two just continue living as if nothing is happening, it’s one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
I am not only talking about physical infidelity here. It’s the same if one of you is having an emotional affair. This is a major sign that something serious is missing in your marriage and that one of you isn’t ready to be loyal and faithful.
Infidelity is one of the most significant forms of betrayal. Some couples pretend that they’ve survived it, but they’ve actually just swept everything under the carpet.
Prima o poi, i vecchi demoni tornano a perseguitarli. Risentimento, compaiono rancore, rabbia e desiderio di vendetta.
When that happens, the marriage actually ended a while ago – the couple just hasn’t contacted their divorce attorney and thrown a parte divorzista.
9. Siete più felici da soli che insieme
Nobody can argue against spending time alone or with other people when you get married. It’s not like you and your spouse became conjoined twins the moment you said “I do.”
However, quality time is crucial for a happy marriage. I’m not referring to you two sitting next to each other, watching TV, or scrolling through your phones.
I’m talking about having meaningful conversations and doing things that make you both happy. I’m talking about actually being present in each other’s lives.
Sadly, both you and your spouse are way happier alone than when you’re together. You literally run away from one another and look for excuses not to be in the same room.
This is a clear sign that you two can’t stand each other, and it’s possible that li odiate e viceversa. C'è davvero qualcosa di cui parlare in questo matrimonio?
10. You’re already living like two single people
La dura verità è che voi e il vostro coniuge siete praticamente sposati solo sulla carta, cioè in teoria. In pratica, vivete come due single.
Both of you are unfaithful or at least have emotional affairs. You spend most of your time apart, and in many cases, you have no idea where your SO is or what they’ve been up to.
You don’t spend holidays together, you don’t visit each other’s families, and you don’t sleep together. If you have kids, you do your best to co-parent them, and that’s about it.
You don’t consult each other before making important life decisions, nor are you included in one another’s future plans. You’re not a team or a union – you are just two individuals who happen to live together.
11. No jealousy at all…
Your partner is not jealous of you and vice versa. Shouldn’t that be a good thing? Well, excessive jealousy is not healthy – everyone knows that, but it’s impossible not to be jealous at all, either. At least, it’s not possible if there are any feelings left.
I’m not talking about the fact that your SO trusts you. It’s one thing that you know they wouldn’t cheat on you even if their life depended on it.
It’s not like that with the two of you. It’s just that you don’t care if they have an affair.
You don’t care if your wife or il marito guarda qualcun altro, and you wouldn’t care if they actually cheated on you either.
Actually, deep down, you’re praying that they’d find someone else so they could give you a break or so you could use it as an excuse to finally make the decision to get a divorce.
At the same time, your SO isn’t paura di perderti either. They couldn’t care less if you’re flirting, texting, or even sleeping with someone else.
Have you two become only friends, or are things like this because you can’t stand each other anymore? I don’t know, but I know one thing: this is one of the major signs that divorce is near.
12. … or too much jealousy
D'altra parte, una quantità eccessiva di gelosia e possessività aren’t healthy either. Your partner is not your parent, and you’re not a little child who needs to ask for their permission to go out with friends or do something fun without them.
Both you and your spouse must have a life outside of your relationship if you want your marriage to work. Not allowing each other to have friends, stalking each other’s social media profiles, and not respecting boundaries won’t get you anywhere.
Clinginess and neediness are not acceptable in a marriage. You might think that things are going great for now, but if you’re too focused on one another, your union is not sustainable. Prima o poi, uno di voi vorrà indietro la propria libertà.
If you plan on cheating, that’s exactly what you’re going to do, despite them constantly breathing down your neck. So, what exactly is the point of this la gelosia che sta rovinando il vostro rapporto di coppia?
13. Argomenti malsani
Ogni liti di coppiae le discussioni da sole non sono un segno di una relazione malsana. Tuttavia, le discussioni possono essere salutari. O, per essere precisi, dovrebbero essere salutari.
Healthy couples know that it’s them against the problem, not one against the other. They learn a lesson from every fight and come up with a solution.
However, your fights are as toxic as your relationship. Your lack of communication skills have brought you to a point where you don’t solve one problem at a time.
Invece, aspettate che si accumulino e poi esplodete. Oppure litigate in continuazione e fate drammi per ogni piccola cosa.
In ogni caso, si finisce sempre per insultarsi a vicenda e minacciando di chiedere il divorzio. Si ritorna a vecchie questioni irrisolte e si va avanti e indietro in cerchio.
There is gaslighting, manipulation, yelling and even abuse. The worst part is that you never reach a conclusion – you make up in bed, or you just stop talking for days.
Nessun combattimento
Tuttavia, anche non combattere affatto non è un buon segno. Uno dei partner è chiaramente ostruzionismo ed evitare qualsiasi tipo di comunicazione, compresi i litigi.
La mancanza di comunicazione è ciò che vi ha portato in questo pasticcio. Forse avete difficoltà a esprimervi, quindi scegliete di stare in silenzio, aspettandovi che un problema scompaia magicamente.
Or what’s even worse – you have no intention of solving the problem because you couldn’t care less about your relationship. You have no desire to fix it, and you just let everything be the way it is until one of you is brave enough to walk away.
14. Vi rende entrambi infelici
Dr. John Gottman, a couple’s therapist and relationship expert, claims that being unhappy in your marriage is actually the most important reason marriages end. In fondo, tutto si riduce a questa domanda: il vostro matrimonio vi rende entrambi infelici?
Se la risposta è sì, non ha senso cercare di lottare contro il divorzio.
I’m not saying that something “big” has happened in your marriage. Maybe there wasn’t abuse or infidelity included.
Nevertheless, at the end of the day, you don’t feel happy with your partner. Instead of improving the quality of your life, they’re doing the opposite.
Lasciate che vi dica che vivere in questo modo vi porterà a seri problemi di salute mentale prima o poi.
15. Niente più amore
Le persone che hanno relazioni di lunga durata, per non parlare dei matrimoni, dopo qualche tempo perdono le farfalle nella pancia. Cadere nella routine è abbastanza normale e nessuno si aspetta che il vostro matrimonio sia una montagna russa di emozioni dopo anni di vita insieme.
In fact, it’s healthier if that feeling of being in love transforms into a more peaceful kind of love that includes respect, trust, and loyalty.
Tuttavia, don’t confuse this with a complete mancanza di amore.
La verità è che lo da solo non è sufficiente per un matrimonio di successo. Tuttavia, è ancora fondamentale!
When there is no love between you two, everything else is in vain. Many couples think it’s okay to settle for a matrimonio senza amore, but trust me – it’s not.
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life waking up next to someone you have no romantic feelings for. Sooner or later, one of you will get tired of this pathetic co-existence, and your marriage will fall apart.
Come si fa a sapere quando il matrimonio è finito?
Il matrimonio è finito quando sia voi che il vostro partner rinunciate a lottare per esso e quando uno dei due fa qualcosa di imperdonabile.
In the first case, you’re both tired of trying to revive something that’s been dead for some time. You crave the day when one of you will finally give up this charade and you’ll get your freedom back.
In the other case, you can try your hardest to forgive something your SO did, but deep down, you’re aware that they’ve crossed the line. You do your best to accept their apology, but every time you look at them, their sin appears in front of your eyes.
For some, this is abuse. For others, infidelity, and for some, it’s disrespect… It can actually be anything – the bottom line is that after this, things can never go back to the way they were before.
Quali sono le bandiere rosse in un matrimonio?
Disonestà, imbroglio serialeLa mancanza di comunicazione, la mancanza di rispetto, i problemi di fiducia, il permettere ad altri di interferire nella vostra relazione e la mancanza di intimità fisica sono alcune delle più importanti bandiere rosse a cui prestare attenzione in un matrimonio.
Ognuno di noi ha diversi fattori di disturbo, ma nessuno di quelli sopra citati dovrebbe essere ignorato.
Come si fa a sapere se si sta per divorziare?
You’re headed for divorce if you can’t stand to look at each other anymore, if there is no love present, and if every conversation you try to have ends in an argument. Il divorzio si avvicina se ogni piccola cosa che il vostro partner fa vi infastidisce (e viceversa).
Inoltre, se prestate più attenzione alle loro imperfezioni che a ciò che amavate di loro, è un segno di divorzio in arrivo.
Quali matrimoni finiranno con un divorzio?
Le coppie che si sposano per la pressione dei coetanei, per i soldi o senza amarsi in generale, prima o poi divorziano. Lo stesso vale per quelle coppie immature che pensano che l'amore sia l'unica cosa che conta e che si sposano prima di verificare la loro compatibilità o di conoscersi bene.
Basically, every marriage that doesn’t have a balance between love and other things, such as trust and respect, will not last!
Per concludere:
Just because you can relate to all these 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce doesn’t make salvarlo assolutamente impossibile. I’ll be honest – if you’ve reached this point, it will be extremely difficult to revive it.
Tuttavia, dove c'è una volontà, c'è un modo. Se pensate davvero che ci sia qualcosa per cui lottare, fatelo. Credetemi, questa è la vostra ultima occasione per farlo!
