According to statistics, the divorce rate among couples is skyrocketing. I mean, just look around you – everyone you know has either already gotten a divorce or is planning to contact a divorce lawyer sometime soon.
But what are the most common predictors of divorce? And most importantly, how is your marriage different?
Well, I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you can relate to most of these 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce, it’s not.
15 Signs Your Marriage Will End In Divorce
See this as a kind of “should I get a divorce?” quiz. If you check most of these boxes, your marriage is doomed to fail, whether you like it or not:
1. Love cannot live where there is no trust
The first warning sign you’re heading to divorce is a lack of trust between you and your spouse. Come on, you can’t have a healthy relationship with a friend or coworker if you don’t trust each other – let alone the person you share a life with.
There are two aspects to not trusting each other.
The first is not having trust in them. You can’t rely on them when you need their help.
You don’t know if they’ll be there to pick up the pieces and if they won’t back out on you when you’re going through a rough patch.
Basically, you’ve both forgotten about those “through thick and thin” vows. Illness, mental health issues, substance abuse problems, poverty, family drama? They’re not who you can rely on in any of these situations.
At the same time, you don’t trust that they’re telling the truth. You doubt every single word that comes out of their mouth. You question everything they say or do, and you have to double-check their every move.
Of course, let’s not forget that you don’t trust each other’s judgment-making skills. Your partner is not the one whose advice you’ll ask for simply because you don’t think they are able to make a good choice.
2. Domestic violence
You may think that you two are good to go because you don’t hit each other. However, if there is emotional abuse involved, that is also a predictor of divorce.
And let’s not forget about sexual abuse either. Yes, that happens in marriages as well.
Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean they have the right to force you to sleep with them or do anything you don’t want to do in bed. Your body is yours, and your significant other must respect your boundaries.
3. Lack of respect
Mutual respect is one of the foundations of a healthy marriage. You have to respect your husband and wife, and they should do the same for you.
But there is no trace of respect when it comes to your unhappy marriage, is there? Well, that is one of the signs of divorce right there.
Your spouse will never treat you as their equal. On the contrary, they’ll always act as the dominant one.
According to this, you should follow their lead and be the submissive one, no questions asked. Nevertheless, please, don’t confuse this with bedroom dynamics.
I’m talking about the fact that your SO makes all the decisions without ever including you. They don’t respect your opinions and attitudes.
They don’t listen to what you have to say, and most of the time, they treat you like a little kid.
As if that wasn’t enough, they also use every chance they get to insult and humiliate you – especially in front of others.
4. Different future plans
Your presence might be near perfection, but the sad reality is that it’s time for a divorce attorney if you don’t have the same future plans.
No, I’m not talking about the fact that you want to go to New York and they want to visit the Caribbean this summer, so you can’t reach a compromise.
Let’s picture it this way: you want to move to a bigger city, but your spouse’s lifelong dream is to live in the countryside. You want to chase your career while your SO wants you to be a stay-at-home parent.
And don’t get me started about children. In fact, this is probably the biggest deal-breaker. This is something you two should have discussed before tying the knot, but if you haven’t, and it turns out that you have different worldviews, you’ve got yourself a problem.
There is no compromise here. It’s not like one person will agree to have kids against their will, or the other sentences themselves to a childless life, despite wanting children. In that case, both spouses, including the children, will end up miserable.
That’s why divorce is the only solution to call it quits.
5. Incompatible world views
If two married people don’t share important world views and have different opinions on significant matters that impact both of them and their lives together, that is a recipe for an unhappy marriage right there.
I’m not saying that you and your spouse must have the same taste in music to make your marriage work. Despite being a team, you two are still two individuals, and it’s normal that you won’t agree on everything, nor should you.
However, let’s say that one person is strictly religious and the other wants nothing to do with spirituality and wants to enjoy their earthly life without any limitations?
What if one wants to live with their extended family while the other gets sick of them while on vacation, let alone anything more?
The examples are endless, but I’m sure you see where I’m going. At the end of the day, two married people should at least have similar worldviews and shared moral values for their marriage to work.
6. Lack of physical intimacy
Look, I’m not saying that good sex is what a successful marriage is all about. However, the divorce rate among married couples who don’t sleep together is immensely high. After all, your bedroom activities are what differentiates you from two roommates or best friends who just live together.
It’s one thing if this is just a phase. Nevertheless, if your marriage becomes sexless, it’s definitely time for a marriage counselor.
But lack of physical intimacy doesn’t only mean that you two aren’t having sex. It also includes a lack of affection, such as not sleeping together (in a literate sense of the word), no kissing, no cuddling, no holding hands, no hugging…
There is, without a doubt, something hidden behind these behavior patterns, and if you don’t work on it in time, it will definitely become one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
7. Couples therapy doesn’t work
When they go through a crisis they clearly can’t resolve by themselves, responsible married couples go to marriage counseling. And that is the right thing to do. Actually, visiting a marriage counselor is probably the best thing you can do to save your marriage.
But what happens when couples therapy opens your eyes and shows you that your marriage isn’t worth saving, despite all your efforts? Well, in that case, there is no other choice but to call it quits.
It’s like you’re giving CPR to someone who’salready dead – nothing beneficial is going on, nor will it!
8. Unforgiven infidelity
You’re probably wondering why I didn’t write just infidelity without the unforgiven part? The answer lies in the fact that some married couples manage to get over infidelity and save their marriage despite it happening.
But if you know that your wife or husband is cheating on you and you two just continue living as if nothing is happening, it’s one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
I am not only talking about physical infidelity here. It’s the same if one of you is having an emotional affair. This is a major sign that something serious is missing in your marriage and that one of you isn’t ready to be loyal and faithful.
Infidelity is one of the most significant forms of betrayal. Some couples pretend that they’ve survived it, but they’ve actually just swept everything under the carpet.
Sooner or later, the old demons come back to haunt them. Resentment, grudges, anger, and a desire for revenge appear.
When that happens, the marriage actually ended a while ago – the couple just hasn’t contacted their divorce attorney and thrown a divorce party.
9. You are happier alone than together
Nobody can argue against spending time alone or with other people when you get married. It’s not like you and your spouse became conjoined twins the moment you said “I do.”
However, quality time is crucial for a happy marriage. I’m not referring to you two sitting next to each other, watching TV, or scrolling through your phones.
I’m talking about having meaningful conversations and doing things that make you both happy. I’m talking about actually being present in each other’s lives.
Sadly, both you and your spouse are way happier alone than when you’re together. You literally run away from one another and look for excuses not to be in the same room.
10. You’re already living like two single people
The harsh truth is that you and your spouse are practically only married on paper, that is, in theory. In practice, you two live like two single people.
Both of you are unfaithful or at least have emotional affairs. You spend most of your time apart, and in many cases, you have no idea where your SO is or what they’ve been up to.
You don’t spend holidays together, you don’t visit each other’s families, and you don’t sleep together. If you have kids, you do your best to co-parent them, and that’s about it.
You don’t consult each other before making important life decisions, nor are you included in one another’s future plans. You’re not a team or a union – you are just two individuals who happen to live together.
11. No jealousy at all…
Your partner is not jealous of you and vice versa. Shouldn’t that be a good thing? Well, excessive jealousy is not healthy – everyone knows that, but it’s impossible not to be jealous at all, either. At least, it’s not possible if there are any feelings left.
I’m not talking about the fact that your SO trusts you. It’s one thing that you know they wouldn’t cheat on you even if their life depended on it.
It’s not like that with the two of you. It’s just that you don’t care if they have an affair.
You don’t care if your wife or husband looks at someone else, and you wouldn’t care if they actually cheated on you either.
Actually, deep down, you’re praying that they’d find someone else so they could give you a break or so you could use it as an excuse to finally make the decision to get a divorce.
At the same time, your SO isn’t afraid of losing you either. They couldn’t care less if you’re flirting, texting, or even sleeping with someone else.
Have you two become only friends, or are things like this because you can’t stand each other anymore? I don’t know, but I know one thing: this is one of the major signs that divorce is near.
12. … or too much jealousy
On the other hand, too much jealousy and possessiveness aren’t healthy either. Your partner is not your parent, and you’re not a little child who needs to ask for their permission to go out with friends or do something fun without them.
Both you and your spouse must have a life outside of your relationship if you want your marriage to work. Not allowing each other to have friends, stalking each other’s social media profiles, and not respecting boundaries won’t get you anywhere.
Clinginess and neediness are not acceptable in a marriage. You might think that things are going great for now, but if you’re too focused on one another, your union is not sustainable. Sooner or later, one of you will want their freedom back.
If you plan on cheating, that’s exactly what you’re going to do, despite them constantly breathing down your neck. So, what exactly is the point of this jealousy that is ruining your relationship?
13. Unhealthy arguments
Every couple fights, and arguments alone are not a sign of an unhealthy relationship. However, arguments can be healthy. Or, to be exact, they ought to be healthy.
Healthy couples know that it’s them against the problem, not one against the other. They learn a lesson from every fight and come up with a solution.
However, your fights are as toxic as your relationship. Your lack of communication skills have brought you to a point where you don’t solve one problem at a time.
Instead, you wait for them to pile up, and then you explode. Or you both pick fights all the time and make a drama about every little thing.
There is gaslighting, manipulation, yelling and even abuse. The worst part is that you never reach a conclusion – you make up in bed, or you just stop talking for days.
No fighting at all
However, not fighting at all is not a good sign either. One of the partners is clearly stonewalling and avoiding any type of communication, which includes arguments as well.
Lack of communication is what got you into this mess in the first place. Maybe you have trouble expressing yourselves, so you choose to stay quiet, expecting a problem to magically disappear.
Or what’s even worse – you have no intention of solving the problem because you couldn’t care less about your relationship. You have no desire to fix it, and you just let everything be the way it is until one of you is brave enough to walk away.
14. It makes you both miserable
Dr. John Gottman, a couple’s therapist and relationship expert, claims that being unhappy in your marriage is actually the most important reason marriages end. After all, it all comes to this question: does your marriage make you both miserable?
If the answer is yes, there is no point in trying to fight against divorce.
I’m not saying that something “big” has happened in your marriage. Maybe there wasn’t abuse or infidelity included.
Nevertheless, at the end of the day, you don’t feel happy with your partner. Instead of improving the quality of your life, they’re doing the opposite.
Let me tell you that living like this will bring you some serious mental health issues sooner or later.
15. No more love
People in long-term relationships, let alone marriages, lose the butterflies in their tummies after some time. Falling into a rut is pretty normal, and nobody expects your marriage to be a rollercoaster of emotions after years of being together.
In fact, it’s healthier if that feeling of being in love transforms into a more peaceful kind of love that includes respect, trust, and loyalty.
However, don’t confuse this with a complete lack of love.
The truth is that love alone is not enough for a successful marriage. Nevertheless, it is still crucial!
When there is no love between you two, everything else is in vain. Many couples think it’s okay to settle for a loveless marriage, but trust me – it’s not.
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life waking up next to someone you have no romantic feelings for. Sooner or later, one of you will get tired of this pathetic co-existence, and your marriage will fall apart.
How Do You Really Know When Your Marriage Is Over?
Your marriage is over when both you and your partner give up on fighting for it and when one of you does something unforgivable.
In the first case, you’re both tired of trying to revive something that’s been dead for some time. You crave the day when one of you will finally give up this charade and you’ll get your freedom back.
In the other case, you can try your hardest to forgive something your SO did, but deep down, you’re aware that they’ve crossed the line. You do your best to accept their apology, but every time you look at them, their sin appears in front of your eyes.
For some, this is abuse. For others, infidelity, and for some, it’s disrespect… It can actually be anything – the bottom line is that after this, things can never go back to the way they were before.
What Are Red Flags In A Marriage?
Dishonesty, serial cheating, lack of communication, disrespect, trust issues, allowing others to interfere in your relationship, and lack of physical intimacy are some of the most important red flags to pay attention to in a marriage.
Everyone has different deal breakers, but none of the things mentioned above should be ignored.
How Do You Know If You Are Headed For Divorce?
You’re headed for divorce if you can’t stand to look at each other anymore, if there is no love present, and if every conversation you try to have ends in an argument. Divorce is approaching if every little thing your partner does annoys you (and vice versa).
Also, if you pay more attention to their imperfections than what you once loved about them, it is a sign of divorce coming your way.
Which Marriages Will End In Divorce?
Couples who get married out of peer pressure, because of money, or without loving each other in general will get a divorce sooner or later. The same goes for those immature couples who think that love is the only thing that matters and who get married before checking their compatibility or getting to know each other properly.
Basically, every marriage that doesn’t have a balance between love and other things, such as trust and respect, will not last!
To Wrap Up:
Just because you can relate to all these 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce doesn’t make saving it utterly impossible. I’ll be honest – if you’ve reached this point, it will be extremely difficult to revive it.
However, where there is a will, there is a way. If you really think that there is something to fight for, go for it. Trust me, this is your last chance to do so!