Cosa cercare in un ragazzo: 25 qualità di un vero uomo

What do you look for in a guy when dating? How do you differentiate a real man from “an almost man”?

Dark, handsome, tall, green eyes?… and the list goes on and on. Since the beginning of time, women have been making real or imaginary lists of “the perfect man” according to their standards (or according to society’s standards).

Some women solely focus on the physical qualities of a man while others look at the bigger picture. But, what’s common to every single woman on earth is the fact that we all stop at one moment to ask ourselves:

“Wait, what SHOULD we even look for in men? Should we look for perfection or rely on aspettative ragionevoli?”

Worry not. Today, we’ll unravel the myths and mysteries of an ideal man.

Cosa cercano di solito le ragazze in un ragazzo?

Let’s not fool ourselves. Girls usually look for a good-looking guy (just like the majority of guys do when it comes to girls). There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that except for one thing:

Un ragazzo di bell'aspetto ma con una pessima personalità interiore non è il tipo di persona vuoi essere in un relazione romantica con. Punto.

I don’t know about you, but I personally am looking for a man who knows what he’s doing, and by that, I mean a man with his shit together.

To the world, this type of man is usually known as ‘un uomo unicorno‘ that a few women have the privilege to meet. Why?

Because they’re becoming extinct.

A man who cares about his family and friends, a man who is passionate and has goals in life, who knows how to make a woman laugh… a man who supports his loved ones through the ups and downs is REALLY hard to find nowadays.

But, ladies, this doesn’t mean we should lower our standards (because essere in una situazione di coppia non è un'opzione).

Instead, we should make the list of qualities that define a real man that every girl deserves to be with! So, let’s do it!

Cosa cerchi in un ragazzo?

Cosa cerchi in un ragazzo quando esci con qualcuno? Attrazione fisica sicuramente è importante, ma non dovrebbe mai essere un fattore di rottura. Ci sono qualità molto più importanti da ricercare in un uomo oltre al suo aspetto:

1. Un grande risolutore di problemi

Dear ladies, I can’t accentuate enough how important this quality is in a man because everything stems from it. A man who is a problem solver won’t hide or run away from you once things become complicated.

Instead, he will roll up his sleeves and deal with any issue at hand because he’s a problem solver and not a runner. Questo include sia i problemi della vostra (e della sua) vita personale che quelli della vita sentimentale.

You certainly don’t want to be with a guy who can’t handle a little stress in his life or in a relationship. Weak men are the type of men you can’t rely on. Strong men are problem-solvers.

2. Trovare un lato positivo è la sua specialità

If there’s one thing I hate most, it is people who can’t look on the bright side even if their life depended on it. I’m talking about eternal pessimists whose negative thoughts can drain even the most optimistic individuals.

Fatevi un favore ed evitate di stare con un uomo del genere. Scegliete invece un uomo che sappia trovare il lato positivo in ogni situazione. A man whose levels of optimism are stable and don’t get easily reduced by trivial events.

Perché scegliere un uomo del genere?

Because life is too short to be with someone who can’t see the beauty of life even if you slapped them in the face with it. Ups and downs are inevitable, but choosing how to react to life’s events is a matter of choice.

Se lo chiedete a me, dovrebbe essere scientificamente provato che stare con un uomo ottimista è una delle cose più belle che ci siano. ingredienti chiave per una relazione felice.

3. He’s ambitious

According to my previous romantic endeavors, I’ve realized that men who lack ambition are a huge turn-off. There’s something truly mesmerizing when you look in the eye of a man who has his goals set and knows exactly what he wants to pursue in life.

Such men have become a rare occurrence (or they’re already taken). Stare con un uomo ambizioso dà un senso di sicurezza, perché un uomo del genere non è solo orientato al presente, ma ha anche progetti per il futuro.

Un uomo di questo tipo ha una routine di allenamento consolidata, si prende cura della sua salute e aggiorna regolarmente la sua lista di obiettivi e traguardi.

No, he doesn’t only sit with crossed arms hoping that the universe and la legge di attrazione will do everything for him so he doesn’t need to lift a finger. Instead, he’s realistic and persistent.

4. Maturo dal punto di vista emotivo

Can you even imagine how many potential relationships have failed mainly due to men’s emotional immaturity? I’m not saying that women can’t be emotionally mature, but in this context, we’re referring to men.

Quindi, cosa significa essere maturi dal punto di vista emotivo?

It basically means that a person doesn’t have problems making decisions in life and relationships, and is not afraid of commitment.

Emotionally mature men aren’t afraid of feelings, but they embrace them. They don’t run away when things become serious, but they stay.

Ogni donna dovrebbe cercare un uomo che sia sincero sui suoi sentimenti, perché questa è la ricetta per una relazione di successo. Tutto il resto sono solo complicazioni inutili.

5. Segue i propri standard morali

Un'altra buona qualità di un vero uomo, e una delle regole fondamentali per gli incontriè un grande senso di integrità. Viviamo in un mondo in cui i falsi ideali fanno tendenza, mentre i veri valori sono sepolti nella nostra subcoscienza.

A man who has integrity follows his own moral standards and isn’t satisfied with mediocrity. He’s not indifferent or mindless about things going on around him.

He thinks outside the box, thinks about others, and strives to find a deeper meaning in everything. Being with such a man means knowing where you stand because he won’t allow his impulses to corrupt his reason.

6. He’s caring and protective of his loved ones

One of the surefire ways to know if he’s a man who will make you feel safe both emotionally and physically is to look at how he treats other people in his life.

Is he caring and protective of his loved ones (best friends and family)? Or, is he self-centered and doesn’t really care about other people in his life except himself?

In generale, gli uomini hanno questo desiderio innato di proteggere le loro donne e di essere i loro eroi. There’s actually a step-by-step guide on how to trigger a man’s hero instinct, ma questa è una storia per un altro giorno.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is that men want to see themselves as protectors and providers because this is in their nature, but there are always exceptions.

Another surefire way to know if he’s a real protector is to observe his behavior when something bad happens. Does he run away or stay and offer help and protection? Hmm…

7. Ha un buon senso dell'umorismo

“If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.” – Marilyn Monroe

Far ridere qualcuno richiede una serie di abilità speciali (intelligenza, arguzia e creatività). Quindi, un uomo con un grande senso dell'umorismo non è un uomo che può solo far ridere.

He’s a man who is intelligent, fun, and creative. He doesn’t take himself too seriously, and he wants his woman to enjoy every second spent with him.

Vuole che la sua donna rida e si diverta, perché il senso dell'umorismo è un ottimo antistress di cui oggi c'è molto bisogno.

Quindi, sì, mi rifiuto di stare con un uomo che è serio 24 ore su 24, 7 giorni su 7, e che parla solo di lavoro. Voglio un uomo che mi faccia ridere di gusto in molti modi.

I want a man with whom I’ll be able to make a list of internal jokes… a man who is strong enough to make me laugh even when the whole world is falling apart.

8. Vi rispetta

If a man doesn’t know how to respect a woman, this is a huge red flag. Any type of disrespect shouldn’t be tolerated because a woman needs to know her worth.

Real men respect their women; they don’t abuse them or make them feel less worthy. Be with a woman who will both respect you and motivate you to keep working on yourself.

Don’t be with a man who looks for perfection because that doesn’t exist. Also, don’t be with a man who wants to change who you are because that’s not acceptable.

A man who respects his woman will never make her question his intentions, and will never make her feel like she’s ordinary (one of the reasons why I’m still single).

“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

Innamoratevi di un uomo che vi tratterà come un fiore delicato e non smetterà mai di mostrare il suo stupore per i vostri bellissimi colori. Innamoratevi di un uomo che vi farà sentire speciali senza nemmeno provarci.

9. Capisce che l'amore e le relazioni richiedono sacrifici e sforzi.

Yes, this is one of the most important things women look for in a guy because EFFORT is hot. I’m so tired of men who want everything, but aren’t ready to invest themselves in anything they do.

Allora, cosa cerchi in un ragazzo?

Cercate un uomo che conosca l'importanza del sacrificio e dello sforzo nelle relazioni e nella vita in generale. Qualsiasi uomo può rimanere nella vostra vita quando tutto va bene, ma solo pochi uomini sono pronti a lottare per ciò in cui credono.

So, look for a man who will fight for you and your relationship no matter what…. a man who knows that relationships are hard work that requires constant maintenance.

10. Trasuda sicurezza

Ladies, is there anything hotter than a guy who is self-confident in both his words and actions? I bet there isn’t, and that is why this is one of the top qualities we should ALWAYS look for in a guy. Why?

Perché un uomo sicuro di sé vi farà sentirsi sicuri nella propria pelle. He will know exactly what he wants, and he won’t allow his insecurities to ruin your relationship.

Now, I’m not talking about those ‘wannabe confident men’ who fake their confidence. I’m talking about men who make goals early in a relationship, stick to their promises, and apologize when needed.

Being with such a man means having someone to rely on without fearing that he’ll run away once things get serious. Because men do that!

But, mature men who ooze confidence rarely make the mistake of losing a good woman just because they didn’t set their priorities at the moment. They can’t afford to make such a mistake because they know the value of such a woman.

11. Gentilezza e premura

I don’t know if you’re aware of the fact that being with a man who is not kind or thoughtful equals a legit nightmare. How do I know that? Well, I’ve been with such a guy and I regretted it big time.

Il fatto è che questi due valori sono interconnessi. Se un ragazzo non è gentile, non sarà premuroso, e viceversa.

La gentilezza e la premura sono alcune delle tratti di un bravo ragazzo non bisogna mai sottovalutare.

You want to be with a guy who knows the importance of little things… a guy who will always give his best to make your day (especially when you’re feeling off).

You want to be with a guy who will be kind to everyone around him regardless of their social status. That’s the kind of man who deserves our utmost respect and admiration, so don’t settle for anything less than that.

12. He pursues you like you’re the only girl in the world.

Chasing, pursuing, proving himself worthy of being with you… you can call it however you want, but one thing is sure: You should never give your heart on a plate to someone who hasn’t made the slightest effort to earn it. Periodo.

Be with a man who PURSUES you. Such a man won’t make you feel like there’s something wrong with you just because you have some standards.

Sarà entusiasta di impressionarvi con le sue abilità di messaggistica e di appuntamenti. Ti seguirà non per motivi loschi, ma perché tiene veramente a te.

E, una volta conquistato il vostro cuore, continuerà a mantenere il suo gioco di inseguimento. Non vi farà mettere in dubbio il suo impegno nei vostri confronti, ma vi farà sentire protette, apprezzate e amate.

Mi ci è voluto un po' per implementare questo nuovo regola degli incontri: Fidatevi solo dei ragazzi che vi perseguono. Those who don’t bother chasing you will never know how to appreciate you.

So, it’s your task to let the guys know that you won’t tolerate anything in between. He either pursues you or he’s not worthy of being with you.

13. He’s reliable to the core

Cosa cerchi in un ragazzo? Io dico che dovremmo cercare un bravo ragazzo che sappia cosa vuole nella vita e che sia AFFIDABILE.

Do you want to be with a guy who freaks out like a little child when something bad happens? Do you want to be with someone you can’t rely on when you need help with anything?

I’m aware of the fact that we women are strong and independent, but even we need to rely on someone when it gets hard.

Also, we need to know that the guy we’re with is trustworthy and not someone who will leave us once they realize l'erba è più verde dall'altra parte del recinto.

FIDUCIA, AFFIDABILITÀ, IMPEGNO. Queste sono le parole chiave da memorizzare.

Finding such a man is really difficult nowadays because we’re greatly affected by the fake ideals of the modern lifestyle. A guy who values reliability is a guy worthy of your time.

14. He doesn’t try to change who you are

Too late… I’ve realized that you don’t have to follow a step-by-step guide to Mantenere l'interesse di un ragazzo or change yourself completely to capture his attention. If you do, then you know you’re with the wrong guy. It’s as simple as that.

Un ragazzo che si preoccupa veramente di te si assicurerà di rispettare i tuoi gusti e le tue preferenze. non piace, lodate il vostro stranezzee valorizzare la vostra personalità unica. He won’t be intimidated by any of the mentioned, and he definitely won’t try to change who you are.

So, look for the guy who will see the real you instead of trying to change you to his preferences… a guy who will know when you need a hug, when you’re feeling distressed, and when you need some time alone.

Don’t be with someone who judges you just because you don’t fit their definition of the perfect girlfriend. I repeat: perfection doesn’t exist. Be with a guy who appreciates your imperfection and always finds new ways to embrace it.

15. Ammira la vostra forza e la vostra devozione

Don’t ever allow yourself to be with someone who downplays the strength and efforts you invest into essere una buona fidanzata.

A great guy will admire your strength and make you even stronger instead of trying to manipulate you. That’s the kind of man you want to stick to.

You don’t want to be with someone who will give his best to make you feel less worthy only to manipulate you. Il mondo è pieno di persone tossiche che hanno perso la capacità di lodare le buone qualità degli altri.

Grateful men know how to value a woman’s selflessness, and they admire her strength and devotion to becoming the best version of herself.

Such a man encourages you and always lifts you up when you’re feeling down. He trusts in you, and he knows that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Still, he lets you know that you can rely on him whenever you need to.

16. Si assume la responsabilità delle proprie azioni

Irresponsible men have cost me lots of time and nerves so far. Here’s the newest example. Recently, I dated a guy who was the epitome of irresponsibility, but obviously, I was too blind to see it (on time).

On top of all his selfish actions, he even forgot about our date twice, after which, he ghosted me. A few days later, he apologized for it, and also made me feel like I should lower my “unreasonable expectations”.

Davvero? Da quando è assumersi la responsabilità delle proprie azioni ed essere un essere umano affidabile è considerato irragionevole?

That’s how, my ladies, you know you’re dealing with a man who is not good for you. Instead, choose to be with a man who takes responsibility for his actions in both love life and life in general.

Un uomo di questo tipo farà del suo meglio per non deludervi e, anche se lo farà, si scuserà in tempo e farà in modo di non ripetere lo stesso errore. Un uomo così è l'uomo che resterà.

17. He’s attentive and supportive

In the age of smartphones and social media, it can be really hard (if not impossible) to get and hold someone’s attention.

However, if you have to teach him how to be attentive, that kind of guy is not worthy of your time, and he’s definitely not a candidate for a long-term relationship.

Volete stare con un uomo che conosca già l'importanza di una buona comunicazione e di un sostegno illimitato.

Don’t ever beg for a guy’s attention or see it as something that should be earned. No, it shouldn’t. If you give your best to listen to him and support him through his life goals and other things, you have every right to expect the same thing in return.

La reciprocità è una cosa che non diventerà mai obsoleta. Men who are not worthy of your time will only be there when it’s convenient for them.

Do you know what? You don’t need such a man in your life because you deserve ten times better.

18. Un buon comunicatore

La comunicazione è uno degli aspetti più importanti di ogni relazione sana. Un buon comunicatore dà e riceve in una conversazione.

Non si concentrano solo sulle proprie parole e sui propri pensieri, ma ascoltano attivamente e rispondono di conseguenza.

One of the surefire ways to know that he’s a good communicator is if you can never run out of new argomenti di cui parlare con lui. Il linguaggio del corpo e le parole si uniscono, rendendo la conversazione appassionata, significativa e stimolante.

Un buon comunicatore non vi giudicherà mai, non vi manipolerà e non vi ignorerà. Quando sorgono problemi di relazione, sarà pronto a parlarne con voi invece di passare alla modalità passivo-aggressiva.

And, one thing is sure… relationship issues will always be present, and you can’t exterminate them, but you can learn to deal with them in an effective and painless way. La presenza di un buon comunicatore lo rende possibile.

19. He always finds time for you (because you’re his priority)

Here’s a universal truth that every lady deserves to know: Un uomo che ti dà per scontata non è degno del vostro tempo, dei vostri nervi, delle vostre parole e delle vostre azioni.

Imagine being with a guy who decides to simply ghost you from time to time, make excuses, and make you feel like you’re asking too much from him.

Ora, immaginate di stare con un uomo che sia sempre presente per voi e che vi faccia sentire proprio come se foste una persona di fiducia. right. I won’t ask you which one you would choose because it’s evident.

With the right guy, you’ll never worry about where you stand, and he will never make you feel like you’re too much to deal with. Instead, he will always find time for you because he wants to. That’s the kind of guy you should be with.

20. L'onestà

Of course, being honest means that he’ll never do anything behind your back, and he’ll treat you the way you deserve. But, being honest also means having the courage to tell you things that might be painful for you to hear.

For example, if you’ve recently gained weight, the right man will express his concern for your health, and will help you with motivation and a training regimen.

Sarà onesto e premuroso con voi, indipendentemente dalla situazione, perché vuole il meglio per voi. Quindi, state con un uomo che partecipi attivamente alla vostra vita invece di essere un osservatore passivo.

You deserve to be with someone whose honesty will help you improve your lifestyle and make you a better person. A kind man deserves the same thing, and he’s completely aware of that.

21. Segue le regole dei gentiluomini

“Please” and “thank you” are the words you can find in his dictionary. He doesn’t feel the need to show off or boast about his successes.

Vi rispetta e vi difende. Sì, vi apre anche le porte.

Vi ascolta con attenzione e sa come esprimere i suoi sentimenti in modo onesto e gentile.

So, what do you look for in a guy? Look for a good man who follows gentleman rules. Look for a man who will treat you like I described above, and don’t settle for anything less.

22. Un'anima romantica

I’m perfectly aware of the fact that most men have problems with expressing their romantic side, especially if they aren’t romantic souls by nature. However, we’re not looking for perfection, but a man who tries.

So, a man who tries will find a way to add romance to dating or to a relationship. He will not neglect the romance aspect just because he thinks he’s incapable of delivering it.

Invece, farà del suo meglio per impressionarvi con pensando a te messaggi, lettere d'amore e citazioni d'amore sdolcinate.

A man doesn’t have to be a hopeless romantic to make a woman feel loved. All he has to do is make an effort and his actions will match the level of his affection. Keep that one in mind when looking for the right guy.

23. Dà più valore all'impegno che al proprio ego

Far impegnare un uomo has always been an art in itself. I’m sure every relationship expert would agree with me on this one.

So, you meet a nice guy and everything goes smooth until he turns into a legit commitment-phobe, which is every woman’s nightmare. Ci sono alcuni motivi perché gli uomini scappano from commitment, and it’s often because of their ego.

Pensano che impegnarsi con una sola donna li intrappoli e li faccia sembrare deboli agli occhi degli altri uomini. Stupidi, appunto.

Un vero uomo dà più valore all'impegno che al proprio ego. He doesn’t care about what other people will think of him because he knows he’s doing the right thing. That’s the kind of man you want to be with.

24. Condividete interessi e valori comuni

È inutile dire che la compatibilità dei valori è essenziale quando si tratta di appuntamenti e potenziali relazioni. È un dato di fatto, valori fondamentali in una relazione dovrebbe corrispondere.

Se i vostri interessi e valori sono completamente diversi, non riuscirete a entrare in sintonia e a capirvi. Senza connessione e comprensione, non c'è relazione.

When you meet a guy, make sure to talk about your goals, core values, and things that matter to you. If you’re compatible, then it will be easier for you to form a healthy and happy relationship.

25. I giochi non sono il suo forte

Those men who like to play games certainly don’t care about your feelings or your mental health. Keep that one in mind as well when looking for the right guy.

La verità è che un bravo ragazzo che segue le regole dei gentiluomini esprimerà i suoi sentimenti fin dal primo giorno invece di giocare con voi. Non giocherà con il vostro cuore, ma darà il meglio di sé per conquistarlo.

So, do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time on players who make you question things and your own sanity. You deserve a man who is emotionally stable and ready to fully commit to you without any complication.

Quali sono le 5 cose più importanti che una donna cerca in un uomo?

Se dovessimo riassumere tutto quanto detto sopra, queste sono le 5 cose principali che dovreste mettere nella vostra lista dei desideri quando cercate un vero uomo:

1. Pensieroso.

2. Maturazione emotiva.

3. Un buon comunicatore.

4. Affidabile.

5. Responsabile.

Of course, this list is not fixed, and it can be modified to everyone’s standards and preferences, but these are the top qualities that shouldn’t be neglected. I’m sure you all agree with me, right?

Per concludere

What do you look for in a guy? Now, I don’t want you to think that the right guy for you should have ALL of the qualities above.

There are some essential qualities that you shouldn’t take for granted, such as honesty and responsibility, and there are some things that he can work on, such as his confidence and his romantic efforts.

Seguire ciecamente un elenco di cose che un uomo dovrebbe essere non vi aiuterà a trovare Mr. Right perché scegliamo le persone con il cuore.

In the end, what matters is that he’s a good man who is willing to work on himself because effort always sounds promising.

When you find your man, here’s some advice on making your relationship last: 6 segni di una relazione seria e 7 consigli per costruirla. Buona fortuna!