If you’ve hit a wall in the relationship, not knowing whether it’s worth staying and fighting or walking away, then you know the pain of struggle.
Sometimes, no matter how hard we try or how much we love our partner, they are just too painful for us.
They’re struggling with working on their behavior, either because they just don’t know how to change or they don’t want to.
To help you decide whether to stay or leave, we made a list of the most common signs that he is not going to change. Ever.
1. He turns into Hulk mode instead of improved mode
To improve our behavior, to actually start working on it, we first need to accept that something is wrong. We need to see our mistakes and flaws in order to fix them.
But if he gets angry every time you mention that he hurt you or that he did something he promised he wouldn’t, then he can’t see the problem.
He still thinks that he is perfect, no matter whether he offered you an apology some time earlier or promised to change.
2. He doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘compromise’
It’s either his way or no way. He has done nothing wrong, so there is no need for him to change or do anything.
It’s all in your head, so you are the one who should deal with it. He’s never willing to step into your shoes and see things from your perspective.
He sticks to his own opinion, regardless of how wrong it is. To him, it’s the most perfect one.
3. He thinks you just want to piss him off
No matter how carefully you approach him, no matter how badly hurt you feel, he just hears nag nag nag.
He is so self-involved that he can’t see the pain in your eyes, he just hears what he wants to hear. And that would be you nagging and trying to piss him off.
He will even accuse you of only wanting to ruin his day, so he could guilt-trip you into apologizing and dropping the issue for a while.
4. He laughs it off and he doesn’t care how it affects you
When you tell him that you’re broken, he rolls his eyes, saying how you’re being overdramatic. When you beg him to put some effort into the relationship, he makes you feel crazy just because you dared to say something like that.
After all, he is the only one who’s trying and working on it, you’re just too selfish to see it. And when you say that there is a problem, he will make a joke about it and change the subject.
This is a sign that he truly cares only about himself.
5. He disappears occasionally
Every time you try to talk to him, he turns into a ghost. He is nowhere to be found, his cell phone is off or he’s straight-up avoiding you with loads of work he has to do (and you know he’s somewhere getting drunk).
It’s a sign that he is not ready to listen to you, to hear about his mistakes. And most probably, he never will be.
After he is done ghosting, he will come back and pretend like nothing happened. Like everything is just fine.
6. He’s a liar—and a bad one
You can actually tell every time he lies and he has a long history of lying to you, so why do you hope that this time it will be different? He makes promises, but never keeps them.
All he has is words, but they mean nothing if actions don’t follow them. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to listen to his lies or your heart.
7. Regardless of the consequences, he just doesn’t care
Whether there weren’t any the first time he messed things up or if there are huge ones, like you leaving, he just doesn’t care.
Nothing really bothers him—after all, it’s your problem too. So, you should work on it.
8. That’s just who he is
How can you be so selfish and ask him to change? That’s who he is, that’s part of him. If he loses that, he won’t be himself anymore. Bullshit.
He just doesn’t feel like putting any effort into your relationship and into making you happy. That kind of man is not worthy of a single second of your time.