Some days all I feel is heartache. Some days I realize I have nothing left. I feel broken. Every day I cry, and every day nothing gets better. In the end, I’m lost.

I have a boy I love and a sister I’d give my life for, but somehow I still manage to not be happy. I cry because I hurt, and I hurt because I feel too deep.

One thing can instantly break me down. Just the right song will make me cry until my eyes are so dry they can’t let anymore tears out.

Sometimes happiness feels so far away. I try to live for each day because we never know if tomorrow will come, but sometimes it’s too much to live every day the best I can.

Whispers of broken memories and sorrows drown my ears. At the end of the day, I will be okay, and that’s all that matters. I’ll find a way to be okay because if I don’t I’ve, lost more of myself than I feel I already have.

So when I cry, I cry alone. I don’t need pity, and I don’t need people to feel sorry for me. I will be okay. In the end, that’s all I have left to be. I have no hope some days, and I feel no joy.

I am broken down and tired of living everyday being empty. Some days I hate getting out of bed. I used to want to explore the world and be somebody, but now I don’t.

I’m fine with having no one, and I’m fine with sitting in my room and being alone. My life is like a highway; long, dark, and lonely with no destination.

I have no hope for what comes next for me.

I have no hope for what I should do with myself or my life.

So I sit stuck with no motivation and do not strive for greatness. I don’t hope for better because I don’t deserve better. I deserve this life with no hope of it getting better. I deserve to feel every ounce of pain I feel, and I deserve to sit alone in silence.

After all, I don’t feel like I have much purpose anymore, and I have to learn to be okay with that. Deep down I hurt; it hurts. At the end of the day, the pain is the only thing that keeps me going.

If I don’t feel that pain, then I truly won’t be able to feel anything at all. Sometimes I feel as though it would be easier for me to feel nothing, but then I realize if I feel nothing, then I truly am nothing.

I don’t think there is any way I could pick up all the pieces of this broken heart and put them back together again. Some people say it’s better to be lost than lonely, but all in all, I believe it’s bad either way.

So there’s the story. No, it’s not funny, no it’s not hopeful, but that’s the story, and I guess that will always be the story.

Words of advice: if you have something you love and you want, strive for it or else you will end up like me—lost and lonely with no hope for better…

by Grace Shepard

A Letter To Yet Another Lost, Broken Girl