I realize that it is almost impossible to protect my heart completely but I am going to do my best to lower those odds of it getting broken. I am just exhausted from going through the same scenarios all over again.
I sometimes admire myself, and all the women who have been in my shoes. We’ve fallen so many times but we find a way to rise again. Stronger, bolder and more determined to push forward.
After being broken so badly, being strong is actually the only thing you have. As you are building yourself up, you realize that you actually learned a lot from your experiences. It’s just a matter of transferring your knowledge into actions.
And though it’s not as simple as it sounds, sometimes it’s inevitable. There comes a point in every woman’s life where she has to demand to be treated as she deserves.
That’s why I established some new rules that I am sharing with you just in case you were or are heartbroken, as I once was:
1. I won’t date a man I can’t trust
If you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything. That’s one of the most important things to keep in mind but I seemed to lose track of it way too often.
Trust has to be earned. I know that not every guy will be the cheating bastard or manipulative asshole that I am used to…
But they will have to lower their pace, take things slowly and give us a chance to get to know one another before we go from dating into a relationship.
2. I will be more selective about the type of men I date
I am done with toxic men. I can smell them a mile away now because they pretty much sum up my love life. I am able to recognize all the red flags and all the warning signs.
I know I will get things wrong sometimes too. I know that there is a chance I will get hurt again but at least I will know what I should never put up with.
3. I will ignore the messages that come too late
I will resist the urge to answer a message that comes when it’s already too late. When my heart is broken and my dreams are shattered.
I will ignore messages that come late at night and that are clearly a booty call. I will never send a follow-up message after getting no reply.
4. I won’t be anybody’s toy
I am tired of playing games. I don’t want to be taken for granted or messed around with. The only way I will prevent that is if I don’t allow it.
I want someone who is consistent. Someone who texts, calls, shows up and makes time for me. I don’t want empty promises or lame excuses. I want to know that somebody cares about me as much as I do for him.
5. I won’t chase after love
There’s no point in chasing after love. Love has to go both ways. All the affection, attention and investments have to be reciprocated.
I am done being the one who gives more and gets nothing in return. I am done being with somebody and feeling alone.
I want someone who makes the efforts. Someone who matches my investments. Someone who cares and isn’t afraid to show it.
6. I will be my own priority
It’s hard to admit but I used to lose sight of myself because of love. I was so focused on that other person. I was focused on their needs and forgot all about my own. And I repeated that same mistake more than once.
It took me a long while to realize that I am needed too, that I matter too and that I am worthy of love. But first, I have to give that same love to myself.
I rebuilt my life. I have my interests, dreams, and goals. I have a life. I know now that loving somebody should never exclude self-love, it should empower it.
7. I will establish standards and hold on to them
I won’t tolerate being treated badly anymore. I know I deserve better. I won’t stick around when I know I have to walk away. I refuse to be strung along.
I won’t allow anybody to mess with my feelings and complicate my life. There is someone out there who will show me that love should never make me suffer.
I will add to this list as time goes by, I am sure. All I know is that with these new rules, things are already getting better. I am more satisfied with myself and my life. And that’s where it all begins. Within me.
I am not closing myself off from love but I am guarding my heart for now. I am keeping it as safe as it can be until somebody who deserves a chance to be there comes along.