It’s his loss!
Come on, cheer up. There are plenty of fish left in the sea.
You are too good for him anyway!
Am I?
I didn’t see you broken like I was. I didn’t see you losing your posture even for a second when you were breaking things off. When you were telling me how I was holding you back. When you were telling me how I had changed, how I was not myself lately.
At the time it seemed like you were right. At the time I believed that you were too good for me and that I deserved nothing more than being thrown away like an old rug.
At the time I believed that I deserved to be broken.
But…
God, how I love this ‘but’.
But not anymore. It’s been months of me pitying myself, of me hating every single part of me, of hating my body and my mind, thinking that they drove you away. It’s been months with me trying to find the sense in why you left.
Was it because I was so tired lately? Was it because I couldn’t keep up with your never-ending thirst for adventure? Was it because I was not pretty anymore?
Months of me refusing to let anyone in, because they would leave anyway. Months of me thinking that everyone out there was trying to get me, thinking that everyone wanted to hurt me and now that you were gone, I had no one to protect me.
Months of me hiding inside the walls I built to keep everyone out, but I realized too late that I had caved myself in.
I still can’t believe how well you did your job. I still can’t believe that I was so blind to see what you were doing. Thinking that you loved me, I gave you all of me.
Thinking that you were trying to keep me safe, I let down my guard toward you and put it up against everyone else. I pushed away my friends and my family, thinking that you were everything I needed.
Boy, was I wrong…
I want to congratulate you for manipulating me so well that I never saw it coming. I want to congratulate you for stripping me naked of all my strengths, without me even realizing it and I want to congratulate you for losing a girl who actually wanted to be yours. For losing someone who actually gave a damn about you.
But the same as I was blind to see your manipulations, you were too blind to see my worth. You only saw what you needed and that was just another victim of your games.
And while I was blinded by love, you were blinded by your hatred, your pain and old scars. But even though I wasn’t the one who caused them, I was the one who paid the price for every single one of them.
For every time you were cheated on, you did it to me.
For every time you felt less worthy, you made me feel like shit.
For every time you lacked love, you made me feel unlovable.
But I don’t care. Not anymore. You were nothing more than just another lesson in my life and you leaving was just another test I aced.
I had my struggles and it took time but I got over you, over all the hell you put me through and now I’m happier than I ever believed I could be.
I’m braver than I ever was, because I let people in. I gave away parts of me once again but this time I gave them to the right people.
This time my heart is safe because it’s guarded by people who never gave up on me, by people who patiently waited for me to come around, who waited for me to ask them for help.
And I don’t know what I did to deserve them, what I did to have their unconditional love, but I’m so glad I have them. So grateful to have those who will always remind me of my worth, who will always remind me of my courage, my skills and my strength.
I’m so grateful for having those who will always remind me that I was too good for you anyway.
And finally, I see it too.
Finally, I’m bold enough to say it.
I was too good for you anyway!
