You can’t lose someone you never had, right? Bullshit.
Getting over a guy you’ve never been in a real relationship with is sometimes even more difficult than moving on from an actual break-up. It doesn’t matter whether you are in love with the man you’ve never had anything with or you are stuck in some kind of an almost relationship—the point is the same; he broke your heart even though you never dated.
You know that you have to save yourself and stop breaking your own heart. You know you have to walk away and let go but your heart keeps holding on.
That is why we are here to give you the most efficient tips on getting over someone you’ve never been in a relationship with. Just follow them and I can assure you that he’ll be gone from your head and heart in no time.
1. Start looking at things the way they really are
The first thing you need to do if you really want to get over someone you’ve never been in a relationship with is look at the truth directly in the eye, no matter how painful or harsh it might be for you. Because there is no other way to deal with reality, unless you accept it, right?
Don’t get me wrong—this is not me trying to tell you that you aren’t entitled to suffer in any way for this guy or that you are crazy for even thinking about him. This is just me asking you to see things for what they really are and accept that they probably won’t ever change.
Let’s face it—even though you don’t want to hear this, the fact is that this man doesn’t care for you. Or at least that is his emotions aren’t deep enough to enter a relationship with you.
No, he won’t change his mind over time. No, he won’t realize that you are the one for him and regret treating you badly. And this is not something you should waste your life waiting for.
2. Don’t think about everything that could have been
After you’ve accepted the harsh reality, it’s time to understand that you are mostly crying over everything you two didn’t experience. You are crying over the fact that you could never call this man your boyfriend, over all the trips you didn’t go on together and over all the memories you didn’t create.
In your mind, you think that everything would have been perfect between the two of you if he had just given you a chance. Well, let me tell you one thing—it wouldn’t have been.
You are just romanticizing things and thinking about everything that should or could have been. Even though I completely understand your thinking, you also need to understand that none of this is real and it’s time you stop fantasizing about it.
So instead of obsessing over this potential future that you’ve imagined next to this guy and instead of trying to look for reasons why it could have never worked between the two of you, focus on the present moment. Focus on the fact that you don’t have him and forget about all of your plans, dreams and hopes with him because they are obviously not achievable.
3. Stop idealizing this person
When you are in a relationship with someone, you get to see their bad sides as well. You get to see all those little things that annoy the hell out of you and all those personality traits you would like to change, no matter how much you love them.
But this is something you never got the chance to experience because you never really lived next to this man. And that is why you are idealizing him.
The fact is that you never got the chance to grow tired of this person. He was always someone unattainable to you and that is why you never got past the butterflies phase.
Therefore, if you really want to get over him, you need to take your rose-tinted glasses off. You need to think of all the flaws this guy has and focus on those things every time you start regretting not being with him.
4. Cut all ties
Of course, your healing and moving on process can never even start if you are still in touch with this man. That is why you need to cut all ties with him ASAP.
And when I tell you to cut all ties, I really mean it. Go fully no contact, get rid of everything that reminds you of him, stop visiting the places you know where you might encounter him and at least for a while, stop talking to his friends, trying to get as much information related to him as possible.
I know that this isn’t easy. But it is something that has to be done and it is the only way for you to let time heal your wounded heart and do its magic.
5. Focus all of your energy on yourself
So, you’ve done all of the steps mentioned above but there is no significant difference? Yes, you’ve removed this man from your life physically but he is still very present in your mind. No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to stop thinking about him.
That is exactly why you need to redirect all of this energy you’ve been wasting on him to yourself. Give yourself a few days to grieve your loss and then start working on yourself. Start doing the things you like doing, start pleasing yourself and most importantly—start loving yourself the way you loved him.
A teacher. A dreamer. A writer. A woman who’s been through all of the things you are going through. A woman who’s learned on her mistakes and whose advice you can trust. A woman who is trying to find her place under the stars. A woman just like you.