It’s not so hard to fall in love. There are so many handsome man around, so many sweet talkers and heartbreakers. It’s so easy to fall in love with anyone, but it’s so hard to fall in love with the right person.
You can try to avoid falling for the wrong one. You can be careful, but once you fall in love, you become literally stupid. All logic suddenly disappears.
All the warning signs that scream ‘he is not the man for you’ are there, but you simply can’t see them. You’re in a delirious state of infatuation, and all you see is the person you fell in love with; the person you idealize.
You end up a fool for his loving. You find yourself driving down the road of risks. You put your heart at stake because your eyes are shut.
Every next minute is a gamble for you because that is not the man you’re supposed to be with.
Maybe you even know it deep inside, but you’re happy at the moment. And people don’t usually look that far into the future, especially if the present is so pleasant.
They don’t want to step out out of their comfort zones.
The honeymoon phase which lasts too short and too long at the same time blinds you. When you’re happy in your ignorance and when it’s over, you’re sad because it lasted too short.
But when you wake up from the dream you were living in that period and see you’ve been in a wrong relationship, you realize your ignorance lasted for far too long.
Many of us make the same mistake. Deep inside, we know that we are on a wrong path, that we made the wrong choice about that guy. But we go with the flow, and we enjoy our temporary happiness because the alternative is just tough.
We don’t want to admit to ourselves that we made a wrong choice. Reality is harsh and frankly, who would like to be aware of it and live in it?
It’s so much better to live in a fairy tale ruled by your own rules.
Why do we do this? Why do we pretend real life doesn’t exist and create our own reality?
Because we were taught that is the right way. We were taught to avoid pain and disappointment, but no one told us that by living through pain, we become stronger.
No one told us that it’s the way we grow to become even better. We reach our maximum, and life becomes everything but a challenge to us. Then, we have to break the cocoon of our life because we can’t fit in anymore.
That process is painful and long. It hurts. We use the last of our strength to get out. But once we do, we have a world of opportunities and options ahead of us. A whole new world. We’re stronger and better than ever.
But what they are teaching us—the society, the TV, the social networks—is to avoid pain and be satisfied with what you get. Stick to it because who knows? Maybe that’s the best you will ever get.
They tell us that we have to have that person next to us to take care of us when we’re sick. They have told us that romantic getaways are a must. It’s normal to expect roses at your doorstep, but is that the real definition of love?
Is that what love is all about? Small signs of affection and material things?
It’s not important where he takes you or what he owns. It’s not important whether he buys you flowers or not. That isn’t love, and it’s not supposed to be. But if you watch any kind of romantic movie, all you see is romance and gestures, and you’ll think it’s love.
That’s why you keep choosing wrong guys.
Those kinds of things only make you happy for a while, but true and real happiness are things so much greater and better than that. True happiness is found in real and pure love.
It’s when you love someone because of the way they walk and talk. Because of the way their hair falls on their cheek. Because of the way he pronounces words. Because of the trivial things he does that make you happy. That’s the real deal.
You fall in love with a wrong person because you’re scared to be alone. You’re becoming obsessed with the idea of love. You just want to be with someone, so you’re not alone.
The biggest mistake you’re making is that you’re not going to be happy with a wrong person. You’re not going to find peace with someone that doesn’t give you what you need and deserve.
The right kind of love is not supposed to drain you. It’s not supposed to make you feel bad and sweat in the middle of the night because you’re having nightmares—because your conscience kicks in when you least expect it.
The right kind of love should make you want to fight harder and be better. The right love will challenge you. The right love should make you feel happy and special without big gestures and expensive gifts.
The right love should make you feel excited all the time. You should feel butterflies in your stomach every time you see him, no matter how long you’ve been together.
When you’re in love with a wrong person, you just know it. You see that you’re unhappy and dissatisfied, but you’re afraid to admit it. Because when you do, what’s next?
Where to go from there?
What to do?