You’ve been hearing this for as long as you can remember. All the men you’ve encountered in your life have told you that you are challenging, that you are hard to love and difficult to put up with.
You’ve been told you are a handful, that you expect too much of everyone and that you are a perfectionist. And you think this cannot be a coincidence—there must be some truth in it.
With time, you started believing them and you started to see it as something negative. You thought of this as your fault, as something that makes men run away from you.
So, you let it define you. You started blaming this quality of yours as the reason why none of your relationships succeeded.
You started blaming yourself for all the bad treatment you were getting and everything you’ve been through in life.
But I am here to tell you it’s time to stop feeling this way.
I am here to tell you that you are not hard to love. You are just a strong, independent woman with her own opinions and attitudes. You are someone who fights for herself and for what you think is right.
You are a woman who relies on herself only and a woman who doesn’t trust everybody who comes into her life.
You are not someone who allows herself to be defined by men and you are not someone who will change the essence of her being just to be more likable to some guy or to fit into society standards.
You have a very strong intuition and you don’t get fooled easily. You are not easily lied to, because it offends your intelligence.
You respect yourself and you demand everyone in your life to respect and appreciate you. You never allow people to take you for granted or to patronize you, because you know your true value.
But that doesn’t make you hard to love.
Your qualities just make immature men feel insecure about you. They feel threatened and as if they aren’t man enough.
These men are aware of your strength of character, are aware of your power and bravery and know very well they could never manipulate you the way they would like to.
But their fragile ego doesn’t allow them to accept that, nor say it to you. So, they choose to blame you for everything. They choose to persuade you to feel guilty for being difficult to handle or hard to deal with.
What those men don’t know is that you hide a heart full of love. They don’t know that your strength is something that would help them get through life.
They don’t know that you being a fighter means that you would also fight against everyone and everything just to preserve your relationship.
They don’t know that you would never leave their side and that you would hold their hand through all of life’s difficulties.
They don’t know you would never disrespect them, if they respected you.
They don’t know that you would believe in them, even when everyone else stopped.
They don’t know that you would love them unconditionally and that you are someone who would make sacrifices for their well-being, if they proved to be worthy of your love.
So, please, stop blaming yourself, thinking you are hard to love, because you are not.
You are just hard to love for men who don’t deserve you and who are not worthy of you.
You don’t expect too much from people—you are just someone who gives a lot and expects the same treatment.
You know that you shouldn’t be the only one putting all the effort into a relationship and that is more than OK.
You don’t want to prioritize the people who treat you as an option and that is what you should continue doing.
I know you don’t believe me now but trust me, there will come a man who will think you are worthy of all the trouble.
It will take you some time and a lot of patience but you will let him get close to you because you’ll feel that his intentions are sincere and that his feelings are real.
When he comes into your life, this man will see you for who you are and will see how valuable you are. He will see all of your qualities and he will try hard to get you to lay down your shield.
This man will love you to the moon and back for exactly who you are. He will love all of your imperfections and he will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
But most of all, he will fight all your insecurities away and he will show you that there is much about you to be loved. By doing this, he will teach you how to love yourself again. When this man comes along, you’ll never again think you’re hard to love.