Are you constantly feeling drained for no apparent reason? Well, maybe it’s one of the warning signs you should stay away from someone!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life, it’s the following: Stay away from fake ideals, eating too much sugar, and toxic people.
If you follow fake ideals, you’ll become inauthentic. If you eat too much sugar, you’ll get sick. And, if you surround yourself with toxic people, you’ll be wasting your time and ruining your life!
Life is too short to be dealing with negative people. Your time is too precious to waste it on people who don’t add value to your life.
Whether your partner is taking you for granted, your colleague is secretly plotting against you, or your friend is a Debbie Downer (always getting the best of your positive mood), dealing with such people is often inevitable.
But, not all hope is lost! What you can do is change the way you respond to them!
If you don’t pay attention to red flags, spending time with such people can destroy your well-being and lower your self-esteem and self-worth.
To keep that from happening, here is the list of WARNING signs that you should stay away from someone:
You spend a lot of time complaining about them
Do you find yourself constantly talking about them to your friends or family members? Has complaining about them become your new hobby (that you don’t really enjoy)?
If yes, then you know there’s something fishy about that person. Often, we’re not even aware that we’re surrounded by negative people until we find ourselves constantly talking about them.
I remember when I frequently visited the social media profiles of the toxic person in my life. Even though I couldn’t stand their presence, I was still consumed by their toxic personality in the virtual world.
I suppose I was trying to get some answers on why they behave the way they do. How mistaken I was!
I didn’t know that I was giving them even more power over my life by doing this!
If you find yourself spending a lot of time overanalyzing or complaining about the negative person in your life, then you need to do something about it.
You’re not in control of your emotions
Whether you’re dealing with a manipulative co-worker or a friend, negative people can interfere with your emotions.
Imagine that something bad happens at work, and you don’t react immediately because you have no idea what to say.
So, you go home, and for the rest of the day, you can’t stop thinking about what happened.
You’re also having difficulty falling asleep because you’re haunted by all the things you wanted to say to them. You get up, go to work again, and feel like you’re not yourself anymore.
You feel like you’re not in control of your emotions because you’re feeling frustrated all of a sudden, and uncontrollable bursts of rage entrap your mind and body.
When that happens, you might act impulsively or let repressed emotions take their toll on you. Remember that controlling your emotions doesn’t mean avoiding them.
You blame them for the choices you make
Do you blame them when you don’t do something you wanted to? Do you blame them for interfering with your life and ruining your plans?
Do you blame them when you’re unhappy with your life?
If you have a toxic relationship with someone, you’ll blame them for the choices you make. They say that we’re the creators of our own happiness.
Blaming other people for your misery is a huge sign that you’re giving away your power. If they are the reason for your confusion, excessive worrying, and misery, then it’s high time you stay away from them.
Once you do that, you’ll be able to navigate through life the way you want. You will have the absolute freedom to make your own choices and be responsible for them instead of blaming others.
Your self-esteem is significantly lowered
Every victim of a toxic and abusive relationship has this one thing in common: lowered self-esteem. Toxic people do their best to make you feel bad about yourself.
Why? So that they can establish dominance over you and control you more easily.
They will say mean and rude things to you, and they will insult and degrade you. They will do all that to make you believe that you’re weak and that you deserve to be treated that way.
If anyone treats you this way, know that it’s high time you show them your STRENGTH! Your strength lies within you.
It’s in your decision to let go of everything toxic and surround yourself with positive people; those who add value to your life and increase your self-esteem instead of lowering it.
Spending time with them makes you feel dreadful
Do you often feel anxious for days when you’re about to meet that person? Do you feel drained in their presence and even for days after the encounter with them?
One of the most definite signs you should stay away from someone is if spending time with them feels more like a nightmare than an enjoyable experience.
I remember when I had to deal with toxic peers at my high school.
Whenever something bad happened, I would relive it again and again in my head for days. I was so anxious about going to school that I seriously thought about pretending that I was sick.
Truth be told, I was sick but not physically. I was tormented mentally, and it took me a while to recover from all that.
Here’s my humble advice to you: Take care of your mental health. Don’t waste your time on those who are not worthy of it.
You stoop to their toxic level
Have you ever felt so frustrated by a particular person that you even considered joining them and supporting their way of thinking only to find your peace? Well, I did.
I used to be friends with someone whose presence was devastating for my well-being. Their levels of toxicity were really dangerous to other people.
No matter what I did or said, everything would remain the same. At one point, I decided to stoop to their level, and by doing that, I unwittingly put myself in an even more chaotic situation.
If you find yourself ever stooping to the other person’s toxic level, this is a huge red flag that it’s time to let go of them!
I’ve learned the hard way that successfully dealing with negative people doesn’t mean becoming one of them, but it’s all about protecting yourself and not letting them destroy your inner peace.
You find comfort in unhealthy coping strategies
Everyone has their own coping mechanism/strategy when they are feeling off or going through hardships. Some coping strategies can be toxic to your well-being.
Do you find yourself drinking more than before, or you’re the victim of compulsive eating? Do you find comfort in enjoying things that are not good for you?
Finding comfort in such things will provide you with temporary relief, but they will do more damage than good in the long run.
You should never let a toxic individual have power over your life!
Also, stop trying to save toxic people by destroying yourself. Sometimes, the best coping method is to stay away from them.
Your relationships suffer
Imagine that you had an argument with that toxic friend, and now you’re back home feeling frustrated.
You’re yelling at your kids for not behaving as they were told, and you’re mad at your husband for forgetting to do some chores.
But, you aren’t actually acting that way because of them, but because of that toxic friend who filled you with negative energy.
Here’s the thing with toxic people: Once you absorb their negativity, you will need to release it somehow in the future.
Often, we choose to do that with our family members, best friends, and other loved ones.
That is how you become a controlling husband or wife, grumpy boyfriend or girlfriend, and the list goes on and on. By allowing negative people to stay in your life, your relationships will suffer.
Whenever you find yourself feeling agitated suddenly, think about what made you feel that way in the first place. If the answer is them, then you know what you ought to do.
You lack healthy boundaries
Every healthy relationship (be it romantic or not) consists of healthy boundaries. But, negative people often make it difficult for us to set healthy boundaries.
They will manipulate you, leave you speechless, and take you for granted over and over again. Every time that happens, you say that you will never let them do that to you again.
But you already know that you’re just lying to yourself. You know that they will keep manipulating you because you haven’t set boundaries. Without boundaries, you will never be able to protect yourself from them.
If you lack healthy boundaries and have difficulty establishing them, you should consider staying away from them because you owe it to yourself and those who love you.
They blame you for their problems
This one should probably be at the top of the list of signs you should stay away from someone because it’s one of the most popular techniques used by negative people.
Here’s one of the most important questions to ask yourself if you suspect that your relationship is abusive: Am I always to blame?
Do they often tell you things like Because of you, I’m no longer myself. You’re the reason why I failed my exam /have done something wrong”? They often go so far as to say hurtful things like You’re the reason why my wife/husband left me.
You become the scapegoat for all their problems, and you start to feel bad about yourself. They convince you that you’re responsible for everything negative that happens in their life.
They do this because they desperately need someone to blame for their problems.
Such people often pretend they are your good friends only to prove otherwise. After some time, you realize that they are manipulators in disguise.
They take, take, and take some more
Toxic people are famous for two things: Being master manipulators and taking as much as they can from you. The word ‘giving’ simply isn’t in their vocabulary.
If you’re in a romantic relationship with a toxic person or a narcissist, you probably feel taken for granted and convenient.
They text you and call you only when they need you and then ignore you when you call or text them.
They greedily enjoy your ultimate affection, and then they give nothing in return. They take, take and take some more without ever thinking about reciprocating.
Such people are terrible friends and partners, and sadly there’s nothing you can do about it except one thing: You can save yourself by choosing to stay away from them.
Sometimes cutting off all contact or deciding to break up is inevitable and the only right thing to do.
They make you feel wrong all the time
Toxic people are the kind of people who will NEVER admit when they are wrong about something or when they make a mistake.
In their eyes, they are always right, and they will do everything in their power to prove that to you.
They will use their dirty tactics to make you feel wrong all the time. They will change facts, challenge your memories, sell you lies, and do anything to get what they want.
If you ever experience this, this should be a clear sign that something is not right. Know that narcissistic people will do anything to be in control.
By doing that, they can keep manipulating you and doing as they please without feeling guilty about it.
By letting them make you feel wrong all the time, you are allowing them to be the one in charge of your life and happiness.
That is one of the main reasons why ditching toxic people out of my life is my favorite self-care method. If you keep letting them play the blame-shifting game, you will give them the green light to keep ruining your life.
They mislead you
From toxic players to manipulators, all evil people have this one thing in common: They are determined to control your reality. By controlling your reality, they are controlling you.
They do that by misleading you to believe certain things about them. They turn other people against you (your friends, family members, etc.).
Also, they mislead you into thinking about what THEY want you to think about yourself.
Lying, gossiping, and twisting the facts become the main manipulating techniques that they use on a daily basis.
And they will not stop until they have complete power over your reality and your thoughts.
If you’re in a romantic relationship with such a person, you will first think they are your soulmate only to realize they are your biggest enemy.
Such people know how to sell themselves to you and convince you that they are exactly what you need in your life.
They will shower you with affection only to use this against you sometime in the future. They will agree with you on everything you say to them only to make you feel like you’re the one being manipulative.
Whatever they are doing to you, they will convince you that you’re the one doing that to them. This might sound complicated, but actually, it’s really simple. And the solution is simple as well. It’s hidden in the title.
They belittle you
Evil people will do everything in their power to belittle your opinions and decisions. They will make fun of your appearance and your body.
They will ridicule your interests and hobbies, say bad things about your friends, you name it.
If you tell them that you’re thinking about taking dance classes, they will tell you something like this: You, taking dance classes?
Are you out of your mind? You know that you’ll never be good at it, and you will simply look ridiculous. I’m being honest with you to spare you the trouble.
Or if you gained weight, they will belittle you in the following way: Honestly, you look terrible. If I told you that you look okay, I would be lying to you.
They will also constantly make you feel like you’re not good enough. Whatever you do or say, you’ll never meet their expectations.
Even if you do, they will make sure to prove otherwise. That’s one of the evilest things toxic people do to destroy you.
If you’re feeling less worthy, this will reflect in every aspect of your life, and it will help them maintain their dominance over you.
You just don’t feel right around them
Whenever you’re spending time with them, do you feel weird like something is missing? Do you feel unable to relax and maintain your positive outlook?
If your answer is yes, then you know they are bad for you, and you should stay away from them.
Communicating with them in a healthy way is a mission impossible. Proving that they are wrong is also not an option.
If you’re sensitive to other people’s energy like me, then you should definitely trust your intuition. If I notice that I don’t feel comfortable in someone’s company, I immediately start questioning myself and their personality.
Usually, I think that there’s something wrong with me, but when I compare them to other people in my life, I start seeing things as they are. All those red flags that I wasn’t aware of start making sense.
When you don’t feel right around someone, remember that there’s a reason why you’re feeling that way. Sometimes, the reason is you, while at other times, the reason is their toxic nature.
You can’t force a toxic person to change!
One of the surest signs you should stay away from someone is if you’re not happy around them. You should never tolerate the above toxic behaviors, no matter what.
If they don’t add value to your life, if they take you for granted, belittle you, or mislead you, you shouldn’t allow them to keep doing all that. By not doing anything about it, you are signaling that you’re okay with this treatment.
One of the 7 rules of life says that you’re the only one in charge of your happiness.
If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will. If you don’t care about your well-being, no one else will.
Remember that you can’t force a toxic person to change. The only time they’ll change is when they decide to do so. If you force them or nag them, you will only make things worse.
No matter how sorry you feel for them, remember that it’s not your job to save them. Your job is to protect yourself. So, be in charge of your happiness and walk away from those who don’t deserve you.
“As you remove toxic people from your life, you free up space and emotional energy for positive, healthy relationships.” – John Mark Green