11 sinais de homens com problemas com a mãe (+ 7 maneiras de lidar com eles)
Quais são os piores tipos de homens? Claro que o prémio não tão apreciado, mas bem merecido, vai para os homens com problemas com a mãe.
I’m sure almost every one of us has encountered at least one guy who struggles with problemas da mamã. And, I’m sure it was not a pleasant encounter/relationship.
From the first time we met, I knew he was a mama’s boy, but I couldn’t help but fall for his ocean-deep blue eyes. His eyes did cost me a lot, but somehow, we managed to work things out between us, and guess what? We’re still together and deeply in love. ?
Well, it wasn’t actually somehow because we both put a lot of effort and hard work into making it work. That’s precisely why I’m here with you today, to share a few tips and tricks that will help you deal with your mama’s boy and help him get over that complex.
Como reconhecer homens com problemas com a mãe: 9 sinais de alerta
Before I teach you how to deal with these ‘mama’s boys,’ you need to know how to spot them. So, beware of these red flags below because they’re the most surefire signs of mommy issues in men.
1. Lutas pela autoestima/auto-valorização
Um tipo com problemas com a mamã tem autoestima muito baixa. That’s because he became used to the constant reassurance his mother gave him, and he probably lacks that now in your relationship.
He’ll struggle with autoestima e começa a perguntar-se se merece realmente amar e ser amado.
Sometimes, he won’t be aware of his qualities, while he’ll prioritize his flaws and has eyes only for those imperfect parts of him. It won’t only affect his life, it’ll also affect all of his relações pessoais, and his partner won’t be able to help him if he doesn’t allow her to.
Sigmund Freud, o neurologista que introduziu o termo Complexo de Édipo to psychology, has also said that this complex affects guys’ mental and emotional well-being – their self-esteem in particular.
2. Dificuldades no bem-estar emocional
A razão pela qual os homens com problemas com a mamã se envolvem em relações tóxicas e pouco saudáveis is that they aren’t emotionally stable. Eles têm mudanças extremas de humor e são péssimos a lidar e a mostrar as suas próprias emoções.
They’re always needy, and their imaturidade emocional é demasiado óbvio. Os seus relações pessoais são cheios de drama e estão definitivamente para além do saudável.
They’re also prone to playing emotional games with their partners, which only backfires sooner or later. The word empathy doesn’t exist in their vocabulary, and it’s like they want to poison everyone around them with negative energy.
3. Falta de limites saudáveis
The problem is that guys with mommy issues don’t even know what healthy boundaries are. Their primary relationships, the ones they had with their parents, were absolutely boundary-free, and they got used to forming those kinds of relationships.
They’ll block every attempt their partner makes to set limites saudáveis – all that because they’ll actually be afraid of them. They won’t be sure whether they’ll be able to respect and fulfill them, and they’ll choose to rather ignore them completely.
4. Procura constante de segurança e validação
Isto está relacionado com os seus problemas de autoestima. Optam por ser cegos no que diz respeito às suas qualidades e optam por ver apenas os seus defeitos.
They have a very bad self-image, and it’s the thing that drives women out of their lives the most.
A mãe dava-lhes constantemente validação e impulsionaram a sua autoestima dessa forma. Now, they expect the same from their partner, and if the other person doesn’t give them that constant reassurance, their ego will be completely crushed, and they’ll totally lose confidence in themselves.
5. Questões de confiança
They were taught not to trust anyone, and it’s no wonder they’re left with such huge questões de confiança que têm impacto em todas as suas relações pessoais. Parents should teach their children to be careful to whom they give their trust, but it’s wrong to teach them they shouldn’t trust anyone except them.
That’s why their kids develop such estilos de vinculação pouco saudáveis com eles. Tornam-se demasiado dependentes dos pais e recusam-se a acolher qualquer outra pessoa nas suas vidas, e tudo isto devido aos seus problemas de confiança.
Sometimes, no matter how much their partner tries, she won’t be able to bring those walls around him down. His trust issues won’t allow him to go ‘all in’ in that relationship.
6. Controlo do comportamento
Isto também foi causado pela relação tóxica que tinham com a mãe. Essa relação não tinha limites e, provavelmente, controlavam-se mutuamente a toda a hora.
Now, these men will control their partners because they think it’s okay and that it’ll help them maintain their relationships. Their partner will feel like they don’t have the right to their personal space, and sooner or later, the relationship will start to suffocate them.
They won’t be able to endure that control for too long, and they’ll decide to acabar com essa relação pouco saudável.
7. Explosões de raiva
These men also can’t deal with their negative emotions, which is why they have such sudden and often angry outbursts. They get angry over small, unimportant things, and they’re unable to deal with it.
They also react in the heat of the moment, and the worst thing is that they don’t regret what they say and the things they do while they’re under those intense emotions.
Once they cool off, they simply move on as if nothing happened. When their partner confronts them about it, they deny it because they genuinely think they don’t have problemas de raiva.
8. Não ser capaz de assumir a responsabilidade pelos seus actos
Adult life simply doesn’t work for him. Ele ainda espera que a mamã esteja presente sempre que ele precisar dela para corrigir os seus erros e assumir a responsabilidade por eles.
É provavelmente isto que o vai irritar parceiro romântico the most. He’ll try transferência de culpa, or he’ll simply deny his wrongdoings.
On the other hand, he’ll demand his partner admit her mistakes and apologize for them. It’s really unfair, and I’m sure the other person won’t be able to take it for too long, no matter the feelings they have for them.
9. Questões relacionadas com a penhora
O facto lamentável é que este tipo de homens quase nunca formará laços saudáveis e seguros com as suas parceiras. They’ll develop either ligação insegura, ligação ansiosa, ou estilo de vinculação evitante.
Of course, according to attachment theory, all of these types of attachment aren’t healthy, and they’re mostly caused by childhood trauma and bad experiences. Explica a relação complicada que possuem e a sua incapacidade de manter uma relação saudável.
As much as they try, their partner won’t be able to make them change their attachment style – they can only encourage, help, and be there with them through their journey of rewiring themselves to develop healthy attachments.
10. Procura um prestador de cuidados, não um parceiro
He definitely doesn’t see his female partner as his other half, his romantic partner. Ele vê um figura materna na sua companheira, e espera que ela seja a sua protetora.
That’s why their relationships are mostly unhealthy and complicated. When their partner fails to respond to their needs in the way they want, they immediately start feeling like não têm apoio emocional or that their partner simply doesn’t want to make them happy.
Also, it’s the reason they create such unhealthy attachments with their partners. Se o parceiro tentar satisfazer as suas necessidades, a sua natureza excessivamente dependente virá imediatamente ao de cima.
11. Ser impulsivo, imaturo e imprudente
Este é o mais curto description of a mama’s boy, right? They behave completely recklessly and heedlessly… They’re immature jerks, and it seems like they don’t plan to grow up, like ever.
They never think about their actions, and they don’t care if someone is hurt by their actions along the way. It makes them seem completely heartless, but this is very far from the truth…
They are actually emotional and do care about others, but it’s just that they always expect their mommy to come running every time they do something bad and clean up the mess they made.
7 maneiras de lidar com homens com problemas com a mãe
Agora, o que mais quer saber é como lidar com um homem que tem problemas com a mãe. Tenho algumas dicas para si abaixo que irão melhorar e mudar instantaneamente a sua vida amorosa.
1. Estabeleça limites agora e para sempre!
É preciso ser claro e inequívoco quando se trata dos seus limites. Faça da necessidade de tempo a sós e do seu espaço pessoal uma prioridade e apresente ao seu homem as possíveis consequências se ele optar por desrespeitar os seus limites.
You can’t expect your relationship to be healthy if it lacks limites saudáveis. You may try to ignore it for some time to keep that person in your life, but sooner or later, you’ll understand that you aren’t happy in that relationship, and you’ll give up on them.
2. A chave está na comunicação
A única forma de lidar com um homem que tem problemas com a mamã é através de uma comunicação saudável e regular. Tens de ganhar a confiança dele e fazer com que ele se abra contigo.
You need to know about his traumas and possible triggers for this complex he’s struggling with. Otherwise, you won’t be able to help him if you don’t know the possible causes of his mommy issues.
3. Tentar compreender as suas dificuldades
In most cases, these men aren’t even aware they have this complex. It’s because they were taught to live like that since they were kids, and they consider their behavior completely normal.
Por outro lado, se o seu homem tem consciência disso e quer mudar, tem de o apoiar. Ouça-o, seja empática, tente compreendê-lo e seja o seu apoio no seu caminho de mudança.
4. Aprender a reconhecer os factores desencadeantes
Your man probably won’t always display these signs of mommy issues from above. Apenas certas coisas e situações podem desencadear a doença, e é necessário reconhecer quais são esses factores.
Depois de descobrir as possíveis causas e factores que desencadeiam a sua problemas da mamãSó então poderá ajudá-lo a lidar com isso. The truth is, you can’t solve a problem without knowing what caused it.
If you or your relationship triggers it in any way, you’ll need to change your approach and behavior with your man. Maybe you simply remind him of his mother because you’re too bossy or something similar, and that’s why he sees a mother figure in you.
5. Prestar apoio emocional
O seu homem precisa de saber que tem o seu apoio emocional e que pode contar com ele, aconteça o que acontecer e quando acontecer. Se, em algum momento, ele sentir que a vossa relação não tem apoio emocional, o seu problemas da mamã só se tornará mais forte.
If he tries and wants to change for the sake of you and your relationship, be there for him. It’ll show him that you honestly care about him, and he’ll be encouraged to continue with his change process.
6. Ajudá-lo a aumentar a sua autoestima
This is the first thing he needs to change about himself, and if he doesn’t focus on his self-esteem, you’ll never be able to consertar a vossa relação.
He needs to see himself in a completely new light. He doesn’t need to think big, but he needs to at least be realistic.
He can’t continue being so hard on himself because he really doesn’t deserve it. Just because his mother criticized him all his life or made him feel like he needed validation to develop a personal relationship doesn’t mean he’s worth less than others.
É preciso encorajá-lo a não permitir que o relação tóxica que tinha com a sua mãe para arruinar todos os outros que tem agora na sua vida. O reforço da sua autoestima abrirá a porta a um novo capítulo da sua vida, o capítulo da verdadeira vida adulta.
7. Ajudá-lo a procurar ajuda profissional
I don’t know why, but it’s harder for men to seek professional help than for women. Maybe their egos function differently, or they simply can’t admit they need help.
No entanto, o facto é que o seu homem precisa da ajuda de um profissional de saúde mental. Pode não ser capaz de reconhecer os factores desencadeantes e as causas dos seus problemas com a mãe, mas um profissional de certeza que o fará.
It won’t only help him feel better in his own skin and get rid of those problemas da mamã and all the unhealthy patterns they carry, but it’ll also help you fix and salvar a vossa relação.
O que são os problemas do pai num homem?
Um homem que tem problemas com o pai foi criado por um pai tóxicoe isso teve consequências nefastas para a sua saúde mental que se prolongaram até à idade adulta.
This kind of man carries deep childhood trauma, and it won’t be easy to understand or find a common language with him. He’ll have different needs and won’t show his emotions that easily, but the truth is, these kinds of guys need love and emotional support more than anything else.
Podem ter dificuldades em questões de confiança or won’t be able to show their emotions adequately, but once you make them fall in love with you, they’ll show you what true love looks like.
Porque é que os homens têm problemas com a mãe?
A principal razão pela qual os homens desenvolvem este complexo é a relação pouco saudável e tóxica que têm ou tiveram com as suas mães.
Provavelmente tiveram uma mãe superprotectora com a qual criaram uma ligação muito pouco saudável que agora afecta todos os seus relações entre adultos. Ou, por outro lado, talvez a mãe tenha abusado deles, o que também afectou a sua saúde emocional e mental.
Devido a estas ligações tóxicas com os seus mães tóxicas, debatem-se com problemas de ligação insegura, e sempre que entram numa relação românticaA partir daí, os seus traumas de infância vêm ao de cima.
Como é que os problemas com a mãe afectam as relações?
Na maior parte dos casos, os homens com problemas da mamã lutar com problemas de ligação insegura, questões de confiança, apego, baixo autoestimae dependência… Precisam de tranquilidade constante e apoio emocional.
Unfortunately, sometimes, their partners aren’t able to answer all those needs or fight with their issues, and they choose to give up on their relationships.
People with Oedipus complex also aren’t quite able to set or respect someone else’s boundaries, and that’s also one of the reasons most of their personal relationships end or aren’t healthy.
Em poucas palavras
A figura da mãe é uma das figuras mais importantes que uma pessoa tem na vida. Na verdade, as relações que temos com os nossos pais afectam todas as outras relações que criamos na vida. Se essas relações forem tóxicas, uma pessoa pode desenvolver um complexo de Édipo, o que afectará grandemente todas as suas relações adultas.
Tipos com problemas da mamã definitely aren’t the most perfect parceiros românticos. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a chance.
Sabes como as pessoas dizem, if you want something hard enough, you’ll make sure you get it? Se quiser construir uma relação saudável with a guy, no matter the issues he is struggling with, you’ll do everything you can to make that happen.
