O que é o código das raparigas? As 10 principais regras e quando é correto quebrá-las
I once noticed my best friend texting my ex-boyfriend. When I confronted her, she was slightly confused because she didn’t see it as a big deal. She never perceived him as a potential partner but rather as apenas um amigo.
Still, I wasn’t okay with the situation. It bothered me that she was close to someone who still matters to me.
Agora, sempre que se falam, ela menciona-me casualmente o assunto. Ela sabe o quanto me preocupo com isto, por isso faz questão de me informar sobre as conversas deles (que raramente acontecem).
Ela preferiu a minha felicidade a uma potencial amizade. Porquê? Uma palavra: código das raparigas.
O que é o código das raparigas? Em que regras consiste? Podes quebrar essas regras se for necessário?
Pois bem, meu caro leitor, se continuar a ler, terá todas as respostas!
O que é o Código das Raparigas?
O código das raparigas significa essencialmente uma lista de regras não escritas que todas as raparigas seguem sem questionar. These rules don’t just apply to your close friends, but to all women out there!
If one of them needs a tampon, you aren’t going to just stand there knowing full well that you have an extra in your purse!
O importante é que valorize as suas amizades femininas (ou potenciais amizades) acima de tudo. Nenhum amigo ou namorado pode ocupar o seu lugar!
Quais são as regras do Código das Raparigas?
Há muitas regras do código feminino. No seu cerne estão respeito mútuo e apreciação.
Mas o que é que isso significa realmente?
Como é que essas características se manifestam no nosso comportamento?
O que é o código das raparigas e como o põem em prática?
Well, if you’re desperately curious about the answers, read on to find out! These are some of the rules of girl code:
1. Sem pequenas mentiras brancas
Se acha que um tipo diferente de roupa de aniversário lhe ficaria melhor, porque não dizer-lhe?
If you think the picture she posted on social media doesn’t accentuate her best features, why not be honest about it?
You don’t have to be rude and make her feel unattractive or incapable. Just partilhar os seus verdadeiros pensamentos, and then it’s up to her to do what she wants!
2. A moral é um conceito social
One of the major problems nowadays is girls judging each other for their sexual experiences. If you’re too experienced, you’re a ‘hoe,’ and if you’re a virgin, you’re ‘boring.’ Stop this.
Does a man’s approval really matter so much that you’re willing to degrade young women who’ve done you no harm?
Wouldn’t it be more fulfilling to support their bold life choices and be inspired by them?
3. As palavras têm consequências
Ter ciúmes de outra mulher is just a sign of how much you don’t appreciate yourself. It’s okay not to like someone and how they behave, but devoting your time to provide extensive commentary on their life is unnecessary and toxic.
Instead of calling another girl ugly, praise her beauty! Instead of saying her success isn’t earned, congratulate her! You’ll see how much better you’ll feel and what grandes obrigações you’ll create!
4. A zona proibida
If you were contemplating dating your best friend’s ex-boyfriend… stop it right now. Ele está fora dos limites!
Think about it: How would you feel if she came up to you and said that she’s interested in someone you had a thing with? Would you be okay with it? Or would you feel like your friend has betrayed you?
Some people simply belong in the forbidden zone, and you shouldn’t approach them for the sake of your friendship. Always put your friend first!
5. Não há lugar para palavras duras
O que fazer quando a tua melhor amiga se considera pouco atraente?
What do you say when she feels that she’s não é suficientemente bom?
I hope you don’t stay silent! In moments like these, she needs your encouragement and support the most. Think about the times you felt this way.
Didn’t you desperately want someone to show you how inaccurate your self-perception was?
6. Her life – her decisions
It’s not uncommon for us not to like our friend’s boyfriend. However, as much as os nossos sentimentos são válidos, we’re still não pode interferir na sua relação.
Express how you feel about him and state whatever it is that’s bothering you so much, but keep in mind that it’s her life we’re talking about here.
7. A amizade vem com responsabilidades
If you’re having a girls’ night out and notice your friend’s interested in a guy but isn’t entirely sure como marcar um primeiro encontro, então ser a melhor asa que o mundo já viu!
Help your best friend’s crush see her most extraordinary qualities. Don’t let her stand in a corner all alone and sad because she doesn’t know how to hook up with him!
Remember – her happiness is your responsibility.
8. Pessoas primárias vs. secundárias
One of the rules of guy code is ‘bros before hoes.’ Well, us girls aren’t any different.
O que é o código das raparigas?
Colocamo-nos uma à outra em primeiro lugar. Nunca nos traímos por um rapaz porque consideramos a nossa amizade a coisa mais importante, enquanto que podemos sempre encontrar facilmente outra paixão!
9. Travar batalhas em conjunto
Como é que ages quando o teu melhor amigo se mete numa briga?
Ficam de braços cruzados ou apoiam-na?
If it’s the former, you might want to rethink your ways. Us girls need to stick up for each other. Don’t let your bestie fight her battles alone.
10. A honestidade é a melhor política
Don’t even think about talking behind your friend’s back! Whatever you have to say, say it to her face. Practice healthy communication because gossip doesn’t help solve the issue.
Besides, doesn’t she deserve to hear how you feel?
Isn’t your friendship strong enough to withstand anything you have to say?
Estes são apenas os 10 principais entre muitos outros regras do código da rapariga de ouro! Há muito mais para além deste conceito intrigante!
É correto quebrar o código das raparigas?
Yes…. depending on the rule.
As you’re probably aware, no rule is flawless, and there are always situations where we simply have to break them.
Que tipo de situações são essas no que diz respeito ao código das raparigas? É realmente correto trair a amiga dessa forma?
Well, worry not, because all your thoughts are about to be clarified. Read on to see when it’s okay to break girl code and when it isn’t.
When it’s OK
As we’ve established, breaking certain rules isn’t as bad as they paint it to be. It shouldn’t always be perceived as betrayal.
Se acha isto demasiado chocante, aqui ficam algumas situações que podem mudar a sua opinião:
1. Your friend doesn’t respect the code either.
Sinceramente, se your friend doesn’t care about your feelings, you’re not obligated to respect hers either. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should do your best to hurt her in any way.
Significa simplesmente que nunca deve pôr em risco a sua própria felicidade por causa dela. That’s not ‘bitchy’ behavior. If she once flirted with your crush, don’t feel guilty for flirting with hers (although that’s definitely not the wisest course of action).
The best thing that you could do is end the friendship. There’s no point in hanging out with someone who doesn’t see your friendship as the sacred connection that it is… or at least that it should be.
2. Their beef isn’t necessarily yours.
Let’s face it – we all have someone we hate. And, we usually expect our best friends to hate them, too, especially in high school. While it’s important to support them in cases of utter mistreatment, their enemy doesn’t always have to be yours.
I remember struggling with my feelings towards my ex’s new girlfriend. Most of my friends loved her… even I did. But at moments when I didn’t, I never got angry with them for not ‘feeling my feelings.’
That’s not a reasonable thing to expect. They have the right to like whoever they want, and so do you.
3. You can date their ex if they’re okay with it.
Dating your friend’s ex is a strange step to take. However, if they genuinely give their consent, what’s stopping you?
Just make sure that they mean it. They may have your happiness in mind without caring how it will actually affect them. If they’re that type of person, it’s up to you to take care of them.
If you sense that they still have feelings for them, don’t pursue the relationship. Ponham a vossa amizade em primeiro lugar. Por vezes, temos de fazer certos sacrifícios. Este seria o teu.
4. Interferir nas suas relações se houver abuso envolvido.
I cannot stress this enough – if you notice any sign of physical or abuso emocional in your friend’s relationship, please do something.
Talk to her and encourage her to abandon her partner. Convince her that she deserves much better than what she’s got! You can’t do much until she realizes that she should libertar-se.
You’d be surprised how hard that can be. Women are so often subjected to iluminação artificial e, believing everything’s their fault, they never even think of finding a way out. They believe they don’t even need it.
Even when they want a way out, they don’t know how. Play your part and show them.
5. If she’s really happy, let her be.
Sure, you can tell her that her outfit doesn’t suit her. But, if you see that she’s truly happy just being a rapariga da confusão quente, don’t be pushy.
A felicidade dela é mais importante do que qualquer outra coisa. Deixem-na vestir aquilo com que se sente confortável! Deixem-na fazer o que lhe agrada, por mais disparatado que pareça!
You don’t need to lie nor suppress your opinions. But think about it: Isn’t your goal to support her when she obviously feels good about herself?
When it isn’t OK
While it’s okay to break the girl code sometimes, we should remember that it exists for a reason. Certain lines should never be crossed.
But what lines are those? Here’s your answer:
1. Ela ainda sente algo pelo seu ex.
If your friend is still in love with her ex-boyfriend, and that still doesn’t stop you from hooking up with him, that’s not very thoughtful of you.
Tal ação carece da empatia que caracteriza uma verdadeira amizade. You’re indifferent about her feelings and care about nothing but your own happiness.
O facto de a sua nova relação abrir velhas feridas e criar outras novas não lhe diz respeito porque, afinal de contas, conseguiu o que queria, certo?
Even the sincerest of apologies can’t excuse your behavior. Why? Because they’re just words. Your actions tell an entirely different story, and that is: you don’t care about your friendship.
2. You’re supporting her abuser/leaving her alone to deal with them.
It’s true that our friend’s nemesis isn’t necessarily our own. However, when that nemesis so clearly does her harm, I hope you realize that it’s your job to defend her.
You can’t leave her alone in a hurtful situation because that’s not como se trata um melhor amigo! They don’t just leave when times are hard! They all stick together!
Moreover, don’t support their abuser. This can be hard as we often don’t know como identificar abusos, but it’s very possible to learn.
O mais importante é que deves sempre defender o teu amigo. Podes criticá-lo em privado, mas em público, fica sempre do lado dele!
3. She’s happy with her boyfriend, but you keep talking badly about him.
What is girl code? Essentially, if you don’t like her boyfriend, for no valid reason, here’s what you need to remember:
You don’t have the right to try to convince her that he’s not the right guy. After all, you’re not the one dating him.
As suas preferências pessoais não desempenham qualquer papel na vida amorosa dela. A sua única função é ser honesto com ela, apoiando-a em tudo o que ela escolher.
If you see that she’s happy, be happy for her. It really is that simple.
4. Está ressentido com ela por muitas coisas, mas nunca o diz abertamente.
I know it’s not always easy to talk about what bothers you. This is why I advise you to take some time to process how you feel. Just make sure you eventually verbalize it… to the right person.
Venting to someone else about a problem you have with your friend isn’t necessarily gossip. Maybe you just don’t know how to approach the problem.
O meu colega de quarto disse-me uma vez para abrir-se a outra pessoa if I’m unable to say it to her. I can’t describe how much I appreciated her at that moment.
She understands how hard it is. But, as much as that’s true, you really need to ir à fonte. Porque não comer um gelado, pôr uma música na MTV e falar sobre isso?
5. Queres que ela escolha entre ti e um rapaz.
In all honesty, sometimes a guy will care more about her than you. After all, he isn’t the one giving her ultimatums.
Se gostasse mesmo dela, deixava-a ser feliz com ele e continuava a ser seu amigo.
Don’t be surprised when she chooses him. She’s only letting go of someone who doesn’t know how to love her properly.
O problema do código das raparigas
People believe that girl code is discriminative towards the LGBT+ community, but that’s not really true. O que é o código das raparigas na sua essência?
Well, if there’s a love triangle between three girls, the same rule applies: comunicação honesta e respeito mútuo.
If you have a female best friend and a girlfriend, the more the merrier! You’re not obliged to choose.
This article may mostly be about friendship, but regardless of the nature of your female relationships, the core idea of girl code still stands – we are always there for each other.
Conclusão
I hope that the next time someone asks you ”what is girl code?” you are able to give them an extensive answer!
Tell them about all the rules and when it’s acceptable to break them. Tell them how girls always stick up for each other and how nothing can break them apart. Tell them how we value each other’s happiness and will do anything to achieve it.
Acima de tudo, diga-lhes que, apesar de o código das raparigas ter alguns problemas, no fundo, existe amor e isso nunca muda.
