Everyone will admit the fact that a relationship with a gaslighter/narcissist is extremely harmful and dangerous.
However, everyone talks about the impact it leaves on you while you’re a direct victim of this abuser; the impact it leaves while you’re still involved with him.
Sadly, these consequences don’t end with the end of your toxic relationship. In fact, this experience traumatizes you for life and here is exactly how.
Spiritual murder
A narcissist is not always physically violent. It doesn’t mean that he will actually punch you or leave bruises on your body but he will certainly abuse you emotionally and mentally.
What I’m trying to tell you is that this man won’t kill you in the real sense of that word. Your life won’t end with everything he does to you. However, he might do something even worse; he can make you wish it had.
After this kind of man is done with you, you feel like you’ve been spiritually murdered and that is one of the worst sensations you’ll ever experience.
When this kind of man is done with you, you feel dead on the inside. It’s like you’re not living but merely surviving day to day.
What you feel is very similar to depression. You have lost the will to live and you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Your belief system
A relationship with a narcissist destroys your belief in the inherent goodness in people. It challenges everything you ever thought you knew about life and the world.
Before this awful man marched right through your life, you truly believed that there was something good in everyone.
Even if people did bad things, you would always find a reason for their behavior; you tried understanding them and you always looked for their positive qualities, even when they were not in sight.
However, this toxic romance changed all of this. After having experienced this real-life hell, you didn’t only lose trust in love, you also lost faith in all humanity.
If the man who swore he’d love you forever could do this much harm to you, what can you expect from others?
If someone you wanted to spend your life next to destroyed it, how can you have any hope that others won’t do the same?
Besides, as much as you try, you can’t seem to find anything good in this guy.
It took you a long time to accept this awful truth but the fact is that essentially, he is an evil person without any empathy or kindness.
No, he doesn’t hide his good sides; they’re not buried deep inside of him, underneath all the layers he shows to the world.
It’s pretty simple; there is no good in him. So, I guess it is possible that there is no inherent goodness in every human being.
The harmful impact on your other relationships
When you’ve spent a significant amount of time next to a narcissistic person, he somehow manages to shut you off from the rest of the world.
For a long time, you see him as the only person who matters in your life, the only one whose opinions are important and the only one who knows what’s right from you.
Consequently, all of your other relationships suffer. This guy tries his best to remove you from all of your loved ones so he can manipulate you with more ease.
After a while, when you finally end your relationship, these are the people whose support you need the most.
Nevertheless, whether you like to admit it or not, your relationships are now not the same. Also, you don’t trust them unconditionally anymore even though they have never done you any harm.
You’ve simply changed and you have become extra careful so you can’t relax in front of anyone.
This is especially true when it comes to any new, potential romances. As much as you try, you can’t seem to expect anything good from new guys who come into your life.
You assume that all men are the same and that every relationship will end up the same.
Self-doubt
The thing about gaslighting, which is almost always a huge part of narcissistic relationships, is that it makes you question your sanity.
The other person puts all of his efforts into making you look crazy so he can have stronger control over you.
After you finally escape this abuse, you know that you aren’t crazy. However, you’re just aware of that on a conscious level.
On the other hand, there is always this tiny voice in the back of your head, telling you that you should doubt yourself, telling you to question every move you take and every word you say.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise since you were exposed to this voice for years.
You had a man by your side who kept telling you that nothing you ever did was good enough so it’s perfectly normal that this left some marks on you.
The truth is that all of this sounds harsh. However, trust me when I tell you that you’re in no way damaged beyond repair.
Even though you might not believe me, you will eventually heal. Your broken soul will repair itself and all of this will be behind you.
The only thing you have to do is cut this guy off for good, if you haven’t done that already. Put all of your strength into kicking him out of your life, mind and heart.
