Double standards in relationships are quite common and it seems it’s been that way since the beginning of time.
Both men and women use them on each other, and nobody is innocent, but somehow, it seems women get the worse end every time.
Different rules apply to men and women. Generally speaking and in most of the world’s cultures, when it comes to male-female relationships, things can get pretty unfair.
I know that the world is not just, but should women be judged more harshly for doing the exact same things men do?
Of course not. But they do anyway, and there are a lot of toxic men out there who use double standards in relationships to their advantage.
One would assume that in this century, things would change and double standards would be a thing of the past.
But unfortunately, there are red flags of this type of behavior all around the globe.
So be careful and look into the toxic signs of double standards in relationships you should never tolerate.
List Of Double Standards In Romantic Relationships:
1. When men have female friends, they expect you to look at it as something quite normal and acceptable, but you having male friends doesn’t go so well with him.
This is not just a matter of double standards in relationships, but it also has everything to do with trust.
When you have trust in your relationship, other male or female friendships of your significant other won’t be an issue.
The major difference between men and women here is that women are labeled as jealous and crazy for even thinking that something might be going on there that surpasses friendship.
On the other hand men seek understanding because they feel threatened by the whole situation.
Your partner shouldn’t ask you to ditch your guy friends just because the two of you are exclusive now.
He should understand that your male friends were in your life long before him and if you wanted to have something more than friendship, you already would’ve.
It’s not okay for him to ask you to tolerate something he is unable to. Protect your friendships and don’t risk losing a good friend for someone who clearly doesn’t trust you.
A good partner understands that you’ve had a long life before him and during that time you’ve cultivated many friendships.
Some of them are with men who ended up being among your closest friends. If he trusts you, he knows you’d never do anything to endanger your relationship.
If he doesn’t, he’ll pressure you to stop seeing your guy friends.
It’s up to you to decide who gets to control your life and your friend group. And that person should be you and you only, so make it known.
2. When men are strongly opinionated, they’re called driven, macho and confident. When women are strongly opinionated, they’re called bitches.
Big difference right there. As if the Middle Ages were back on and women should be prevented from speaking their minds bluntly and directly.
It’s funny how in this day and age, women are looked at differently and called bitches just because they dare to stand for what they believe in.
The man who calls you big-mouthed and wants to restrain your freedom of speech is definitely not the man for you.
The only opinion he is interested in is his own and he has no interest in hearing what you have to say.
There are also men that get intimidated by strong, intelligent women and men like that are not the ones you should be dating.
And you need to realize that those men aren’t macho and confident; they’re weak and they’re cowards.
They feel threatened by a woman who’s powerful and opinionated, and they make her feel bad about it to boost their own fragile ego.
Recognize a weak man when he tries to diminish a strong woman’s flame. A real man builds his woman up and pushes her to be her best self.
A weak man puts her down, makes her feel wrong for being strong, and calls her a bitch.
I think it’s time this charade stops and the only way that’s ever going to happen is when each woman speaks up.
3. When men have a higher number of intimate partners they are applauded, but women with a similar number are slut-shamed.
When a man has seen more naked female bodies than he can count, he is a hero among his friends. He is a hot-shot and that’s perfectly normal.
But if a woman had to admit it openly, she’d be slut-shamed. She would be labeled as “easy” or called all sorts of names.
Yes, this still happens. It doesn’t seem quite fair, does it? It’s because it isn’t and women should be able to decide who they sleep with and when, just like men do.
If you’re dating someone who’s putting you down because your number of past intimate partners is high (and/or current for non-exclusive, open relationships), you’re dealing with the wrong man.
This should never be an issue. Your bedroom life or your past should never be held against you.
Some find love with their high school sweetheart and some find it later on. Your number will probably depend on that and that’s not something you should be ashamed of.
Don’t tolerate that kind of behavior.Don’t ever let a man tell you you’re a slut for having had the exact same number of intimate partners as him.
That kind of behavior is appalling and only puts us back in time.
Be proud of your choices and stand behind them no matter what. If he has a problem with that, he’s a prick with no respect and no morals. You need a real man, and that’s not him.
4. When a man spends his entire day playing video games, that’s totally okay, but when a woman spends her entire day shopping, she’s superficial.
The thing is shopping, just as video games, are good pastime activities – something you do to relax and have some fun after all those hectic days.
It’s more than obvious that men and women look at things differently, but nobody should be judged for what they do in their spare time.
If a man you’re dating expects you to understand him being a gamer, he should understand your urge to go shopping, on a girl’s night out, mountain climbing, or whatever your favorite pastime is.
Remind him that you don’t get his urge to play games, but you respect it. In the same way, he should respect your interests, too, and let you enjoy your life on your own terms.
5. When a woman works long hours she’s scorned for being a careerist, and when a man does the same he’s hardworking and praiseworthy.
There’s nothing wrong with working hard and being ambitious. In a healthy relationship, partners will support and back each other up.
They’ll celebrate each other’s victories and never feel intimidated by the other’s success.
That is, providing that you’re never too busy to sustain a relationship and find time for each other, because what’s the point of being in a relationship if you never see your partner?
However, if the relationship is unhealthy and you find yourself with someone toxic, double standards will be quite obvious.
Your partner won’t be the wind beneath your wings that helps you fly. He’ll be the one pinning you to the ground.
He will make you feel like you are not competent enough or good enough to succeed.
That’s exactly the thing you shouldn’t tolerate. Be with someone who always pushes you to do more and be more because he sees all the potential and all the greatness within you.
Be with someone who doesn’t see your success as his failure.
By standing up for yourself and your right to work just as hard as the men, and to be equally respected, paves the way for young women in the world to find their way and not put up with the BS you and the rest of us do.
6. When a man spends his entire day doing nothing wearing his boxers shorts, it’s cute. When a woman does the same wearing her PJs, she’s lazy, sloppy, and entirely neglecting herself and her man.
This is also something that should be left in the past. In this modern day and age, men and women should be equal in everything, including daily chores.
Things like cooking and cleaning should involve both partners.
The same should be done with lazy days and both partners are equally entitled to those.
Nobody is above anybody and the time when women would tend to every need a man had are long behind us. Tough luck, guys!
Two people in a relationship are partners and they both need to invest in their relationship and put in the necessary effort.
So, take turns in doing everything, be both hardworking and lazy together. If he doesn’t agree with that, teach him how to take care of himself by leaving him all on his own
Once a man is left to his own devices, having to cook, clean, and take care of everyday chores by himself, only then will he realize how much effort women put into everything they do.
Damn straight we deserve to have our lazy days where we don’t have to dress up for anyone, impress anyone’s friends, and act in a way that pleases those around.
We deserve our days off more than men because of the amount of effort we put into everything only to be treated with half the respect.
7. When he spends a night out on the town with guys, you should show understanding, but when you go out with girls, he shows jealousy, anger, and frustration.
Talk about double standards in relationships. He’s looking for understanding every time he’s out with his male friends.
On the other hand, he is unable to understand your need to do the same with your female friends. It’s hypocritical, to say the least.
If he expects you to trust him when he’s out hanging out with friends, clubbing, and partying with all those other women around him, he should trust you with regard to men, too.
It’s not okay to have different sets of standards for you and for him. Once again, let me stress the importance of the word equality in a relationship.
If he gets to go out and let loose, so do you. If he gets to party until the wee hours of the night, so do you! No apologies. No pressure to be ”better” and no nothing.
Just two partners enjoying their life in an equal and fair way. At the first glimpse of him suggesting otherwise, you need to show him the door and never look back.
8. When it’s okay for a guy to have a wandering eye, but not for a woman to have one too.
When a hot and attractive woman passes by, nine out of ten men will check her out from top to bottom, and they see no issue with that.
They’ll even follow up that long stare with random comments about how her butt looks nice or how beautiful she is.
On the other hand, if an attractive man passes by and you give him nothing more than a gaze, most men won’t even think twice about calling you out on it.
They’ll be unable to understand why you have the necessity to check out some random guy.
Hello? He’s done the same exact thing just the other day to a woman he barely knows in your presence. Don’t tolerate his double standards.
Explain that he has done the same and you moved passed it, and if he can control his wandering eyes, you will, too.
The other solution might be accepting that checking somebody out doesn’t have any connection with your relationship or mutual feelings.
Noticing somebody else is a natural thing.
Chasing after somebody else while in a relationship is completely different, more serious, and unforgivable, and it shouldn’t be confused with something as simple as a wandering eye.
9. When he stays in contact with his ex, that’s okay, but when you do the same, it’s a lack of loyalty.
Bringing your ex into your new relationship is a tricky thing. Not a lot of people can handle it and it causes confusion right from the start.
However, some people are able to stay in good relationships with their exes, but that relationship should never be more important than the one you’re in now.
Your new partner shouldn’t feel like they come last and your ex first. There’s a reason they’re an ex.
But if your partner’s using double standards here, he’ll excuse his contact with his ex but harshly judge yours.
He’ll blame you, and you’re probably going to have a lot of fights that include the ex-factor.
Don’t let him get away with it. What goes for you, goes for him too.
Talk openly. Don’t let your exes dictate your current relationship. You both should put your current relationship first.
Final Thoughts
Now that you’ve red this article ask yourself a few questions: Are you putting up with common double standards in your relationship?
Have you had enough of being treated differently simply because you’re a woman?
If so, it’s time to recognize that, speak up, and start making a change.
It’s time to stop putting up with that guy friend who’ll ”jokingly” say something that is totally sexist, long-term relationships where every single guy thinks he has the right to give input on your clothing choices and pressure you to be a stay-at-home woman.
It’s a very bad thing when your man makes you feel like the less capable partner and imposes those toxic double standards on you.
Romantic relationships are about pushing each other to be the best version of yourselves and lifting each other up.
Who made him the boss of you in the first place? Am I right? You’re the one who needs to show him what goes and what won’t fly.
Show him a new you if you sense his behavior is bordering toward an abusive relationship.
For instance narcissist thinks he can control his intimate relationships and make the first move every time, but it’s time they’re all shown that women have just as much power as men.
Once women realize their abilities, no man will be able to match their determination.
If there’s one main takeaway from all of this, it’s to never let a man tell you how you should live your life.
You’re just as worthy, just as hard-working, and you put in double the effort for half the respect.
Times have not been kind to women and if there was ever a time when our voices should be heard, it’s now.
It all starts with one woman and one action. Once you show your man how he should treat you, your close friends and sisters will see it and perhaps do the same.
And bit by bit, it’s going to become too loud and too obvious to ignore. No more BS, no more toxic relationships, and no more stomping all over us.
We’re badass and we’re strong, and we’re here to get what’s ours. Who can stop us once we’re united in our determination?
That’s right – nobody.
So start by making a change in your relationship and from then on, keep it going in all spheres of life.
It’s a small step for you, but a huge one for women overall. Fight your fight and never forget that without women, there would be nothing.
