Is there a certain amount of time that needs to pass in order to have a real “relationship talk”? 

Is there a magic number of dates that you need to have had to sit down with the person you’re dating and make it exclusive?

The question is: How many dates before the relationship finally reaches the next level?

two people hold their hands together

What you need to know is that everyone is different, so each person needs a different amount of time to actually be ready for a serious relationship. 

One will want to make your dating turn into something serious after just a few cheesy pickup lines, while another after a couple of months.

If you’ve met someone and your first date went well, you can’t wait to have another.

You bide your time to go on the second date. And then another, and another. 

man and woman at restaurant

It’s perfectly normal to be eager to start something special with someone new in your love life.

You may even develop a special bond and chemistry just after the few first dates.

Deep down you want a serious and long-term relationship, but you continue to go on these “non-official” dates that seem to lead nowhere.

Yes, dating is not simple and usually, daters can’t wait to turn their dating into an exclusive relationship.

man and woman walking on street

But, before you start daydreaming about your future together, you really need to be sure that your dater is ready to become your significant other.

You also need to know if you are a good match for a serious relationship. How to do that, though? Well, keep on reading. 

Set The Number Of Dates

Woman standing in front of the window and drinking tea in the morning

What you can do is set a number of dates in which you will dedicate your time to get to know the person you are dating. 

For instance, you can set an 8-date rule – or 10, 12 – however many you want it to be. But, on those set dates, relax and enjoy getting to know each other. 

There is no need for pressure. Look with your eyes not with your heart, and really get to know the person you are with.

man giving his girlfriend piggybacking ride

After just 8 dats, you will be able to see if there are grounds for a committed relationship or he’s just wasting your time. 

Timespan between the dates is important. You don’t have to see each other every day, but make time between each date and make every one of them fun and interesting!

Of course, every date doesn’t need to be a big deal. Sometimes, just watching Netflix and eating popcorn makes for a great date.

couple young people people together

Maybe you can even visit your “first place” where you met each other for the very first time.

But, it would be perfect if every one of those dates is different from the one before.

Gather up some creative third date ideas, for instance, to make your date memorable. 

In that way, you can introduce your dating partner to different situations that will encourage different topics and conversations.

Woman holds a cup of hot tea and looks at the sunrise

You both can share opinions about those different situations – these can be your deal breakers or deal makers!

This is a great way to find out if and when your dater is ready for the relationship talk. 

While dating, follow the flow of your conversations and analyze his behavior.

These are some of the possible clues he will show you if he wants to have an official relationship talk with you:

1. He Compliments You Often

couple flirting in a restaurant

Have you ever had the feeling when someone is describing the person that they want to be with, that they’re secretly describing you? 

If you’re still confused about your relationship status, go on a date that includes games where you can show your partner how great you are in some of them. 

Keep tabs on compliments and pay attention to the details of them. Analyze how your partner compliments you: with a gentle touch, special look, or just saying it then looking away.

couple sitting by the lake and talking

If your dater compliments you often or points out your great qualities, this should lessen your worries about your relationship status.

You could also grab a coffee and ask him straight out what kind of partner he wants.

What he is searching for in his love life. It’s easy to tell if someone is into you if the person is quick and confident in his answer. See if you can find your qualities and values in his responses.

2. He Includes You In Their Plans

couple talking at restaurant

If you’re questioning your dating partner and relationship status, suss out in your conversations if the person is planning things with or without you. 

For example, maybe he has a great desire to travel to a certain place and wants you to go with them.

Maybe there’s a huge job opportunity but he calls you first to talk with you about it. It may also be something very small and random.

couple leaning on wall and talking

For example, your partner is all excited about that new movie he has waited so long to see, and he wants you to join him.

His plans are so important because it shows if he really care about you and wants to have a future with you.

Because if he can’t include you in some small plans like watching a movie or grabbing a coffee, how can he plan something bigger like a future with you?

3. He Introduces You To His Family And Friends

photo of people doing handshakes

If organized well, 8 dates should be just enough time for you and your dating partner to get to know each other. 

Next to talking about each other and your qualities, another good clue that this guy wants to get serious with you 

and turn the new relationship into something more is if he lets you meet his family members.

Family is always something special to everyone, something we all cherish and want to protect.

So if he takes you to his home and introduces you to his family, it’s usually a sign that he wants you to be a part of his family.

Friends smile and sit in a cafe, drink coffee and enjoy together

It’s also a clue that he wants to keep you for a long time in his life!

Another good clue to ease your mind is his friends. Friends are chosen family, right?!

If your partner is eager to have you meet his friends, it’s a totally good step in your relationship.

This is definitely a reason to stop questioning how many dates before exclusive talk.

The time is now to start talking and make your relationship official.

4. He Is Persistent

man holding smartphone

I know that persistence is a word you always find among dating tips,

but it’s valuable advice if you have your heart set on a more serious and preferably long-term relationship. 

What’s persistence exactly? It’s making an effort to be a part of someone’s life.

But, when it comes to persistence in dating, it translates to him wanting to see you even between those 8 or more dates that you initially set up.

Your partner can’t wait for your next date, always texting and calling you first.

young man cooking and talking on the phone

He does what real men do when they are in love: he shows interest and affection, and makes actual effort.

If you’re not certain that you’re giving him the same amount of attention and questioning if you’re showing him you are “warmed up” enough for the next step together and he still wants to pursue you, there’s your sign that he’s into you and an official relationship might be on the horizon. 

But, be careful. Too much attention and persistence from either of you may cause you both to go your separate ways.

5. His Body Language Matters

couple smiling during daytime

When you go on those 8 dates, pay attention to his body language signs and how he behaves when he’s around you.

If he’s into you and wants to get official, it’s always written all over his face. Try to read the signs when you’re with him.

Pay attention to his eye contact, how his body is positioned when he talks to you, and his facial expressions.

Young lovers enjoy coffee while looking at each other in a cafe

If your partner smiles a lot when with you, gently touches and wants to hold your hand, looks into your eyes when speaking to you,

you’ll soon need to prepare yourself for a serious relationship talk.

6. He Cares About You

couple relaxing on the river

Although your dates might not be spectacular or always something fun and adventurous, simply going and sitting in some coffee bar or having lunch together can be just as meaningful.  

But, through those dates, you can closely see if this guy genuinely cares about you.

Try to look at how much time he’s willing to sacrifice for you or how many compromises he’s willing to make because of you.

happy couple having a date at bar

If he tries to always be there for you no matter what and attempts to solve as many of your problems as he can, he totally wants to be your significant one.

A person who is truly into you will show his care through actions, so you don’t have to worry if your relationship is going in the right direction.

7. He Treats You Like You’re Already In Relationship

man giving his girlfriend piggybacking ride

In the end, one thing that you always need to watch out for when you are wondering how many dates before a relationship becomes official is how your partner treats you. 

If he texts you often to check on you, if he reschedules his plans just to go out with you and see you,

and if he’s comfortable enough to talk with you about his feelings, plans, and thoughts, it’s okay to prepare your speech to move your relationship to the next level.

man carry woman outside in field

Then the last few important things that you can’t forget to ask yourself: Are you happy when you are with the person you’re dating?

Are you treating him the way you want to be treated? Are you ready to make your relationship official? 

Don’t forget that a relationship is about two people, so seek the answers within yourself too!

Red Flags

Person holding woman hand on top of hill

No matter how many dates you set up to get to know your partner better through dating, remember that over time and dates, your relationship changes and evolves.

But, just like your relationship changes, so does your partner. Your connection can get better with time, and if so, the conversation about your official relationship will go smoothly. 

On the flip side, he may change and grow through your dating into a completely different person.

romantic couple lying on floor at home

So here are some of the red flags that may bother you in your unofficial relationship:

• You two start to spend too much time just texting and not really seeing each other

• He often cancels your plans

• He forgets about your date

• He doesn’t call you

girl typing sms outside

• He only wants to go out to the same places and isn’t eager to try something new and different with you

• He can’t stop talking about his past relationships and ex

• He doesn’t compromise, you can only spend time together when it works for him

• He stops trying to impress you 

• He suddenly changes his behavior after your first date

couple sitting on bench outside

• You catch him using dating apps

• He’s not intriguing anymore

• You’re the one who always reaches out first 

• You don’t feel like he’s into you anymore

These red flags may seem disappointing, especially after a certain time when you’ve already developed

hugging couple looking outside at home autumn

certain feelings for the person and he’s rejected you or doesn’t feel the same. 

But, don’t feel downhearted.

These can be also reasons and your answer that the guy is just not ready to have and be in a serious relationship, which is ultimately his business and problem – not yours.

To Sum Up…

Man and woman hug on brown wooden dock

Confusion about how many dates you should go on before a relationship can progress to the next level is totally normal.

When you are really into someone and you like the person, of course you’re eager to know your relationship status and what the future holds . 

But, the real truth is,  it depends on the situation and on the person you are dating.

That’s because we’re talking about people – they have previous experiences and current expectations you know nothing about.

For some, it’s easy to take the relationship to the next level after just a month, but for others,  they just need a little more time. 

Two people are wearing black jackets and sitting on the floor

Either way, it can’t hurt to try the 8-day dating rule. It will be fun and even challenging for you to get to know your partner better.

Plus, it’ll also prepare you for the conversation that you’re so eager to have!

If it doesn’t turn out well and your dating partner changes in a negative way as your dates progress, don’t stress about it too much.

There are plenty of men to date in this world and you deserve someone who is best for you. 

How Many Dates Before The Relationship Becomes Official?