Jealousy is not healthy-nobody would disagree with that. However, in some cases, it is a weapon you have to use in your favor.
So, if you’re here, reading advice on how to make your ex jealous, it means you’ve realized it’s the only way for them to be attracted to you again: and you’re probably right.
Maybe your ex forgot your true worth or maybe the two of you lost your initial spark: In that case, making them jealous is a way of rekindling your romance.
But, what is the best way to go about it?
How can you get their feelings for you back without looking desperate?
How can you make your ex jealous while making sure it doesn’t backfire on you? Just follow these 13 steps and I promise that you’ll get the results you need in no time.
13 Surefire Ways To Make Your Ex Jealous
1. Don’t make it too obvious
When you first break up with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, you want them to suffer for leaving you. You want them to see that you couldn’t care less about them and that you moved on in a minute.
So, the first impulse you may have is to call them and rub the fact that you’ve found a new love in their face. You’re either in a new relationship or you’re dating-either way, you’ve forgotten all about them.
However, wouldn’t it be strange for you to get a phone call or a text message from your ex telling you that they have a new girlfriend or boyfriend and that they’ve found new love? Wouldn’t you think that they’re doing it on purpose, just to hurt your feelings?
Well, your ex will think the same thing if you play your cards this way.
This is the number one mistake most people make when they’re wondering: “How do I make my ex jealous and want me back?”. However, the trick is for them not to realize your intentions because if they do, you’ll fail.
In fact, if your ex comprehends that everything you’re doing is designed to make them feel bad, it’s just a sign for them that you’re still crazy in love with them and that you’re ready to do whatever it takes to get your ex back.
Not only that-they’ll also lose all their trust in you and continue to not believe you even if you end up back together.
You’ll be perceived as a lunatic whose sole purpose is to make them jealous. Not only that-playing mind games and sending mixed signals in an obvious way will also make them see you as immature.
What’s more, if they realize what your intentions are, they’ll become more certain about your emotions and start taking you for granted.
Therefore, desperate behavior is the thing you have to avoid if you hope to get any results.
2. Stop obsessing over them
This step doesn’t have a lot to do with your actual behavior towards your ex – it is mostly connected to the internal struggles you’re dealing with right now.
Ever since the breakup happened, this person and your relationship is the only thing you have thought about. They have been present in your mind and heart and you have been focused on them completely.
Of course, your ex probably doesn’t have a clue about this. You don’t go around calling them and begging them to come back but that doesn’t change the state of your mind and emotions.
Whether you like to admit it or not, lately you’ve been obsessed with your ex and perhaps think of them even more than when you were together.
If you want any concrete results in the first place, this has to change. Besides making your ex jealous, this approach will also help you feel much better, which is more important.
For starters, do your best not to think about them all the time. Try redirecting your thoughts to something else besides your ex. Find a hobby and engage in activities that will keep you busy and tired.
Nobody expects you to stop mentioning this person’s name overnight but please, don’t allow them to be the only topic of conversation when you are with your friends.
Instead, limit the time you have to talk about him and once you reach your limit, change the topic and start talking about something else. Ask for your friends’ help in this-give them permission to interrupt you and to tell you that you’re boring them.
The same goes with your ex’s social media accounts. You can visit their feed every once in a while but that doesn’t mean that you should keep their profiles as your home page or that you should go onto the dark web, searching for who they friended and whose photos they liked.
3. Work on yourself
The next step is to start with some self-improvement. This will be beneficial for you as a person but it will also make your ex see what he lost.
I know that you feel bad right now and that your self-esteem is probably at its lowest. However, if you’re figuring out how to make your ex jealous, you’re simply not allowed to feel this way.
Work on yourself in more than one way-start learning a new language, if it’s possible, invest some money in your education and self-improvement, read books, take a course about something you’re interested in, travel as much as you can, meet new people and expand your horizons.
I’m not saying that you have to change the essence of who you were before you met this person but there is no harm in updating yourself into the best possible version of the person you are.
4. Look your best
Whether we like to admit it or not, looks are important. When you meet a new person, before you fall for their personality, firstly you have to be physically attracted to them and like their looks.
The same goes with rekindling your old romances. Therefore, the best way to make your ex jealous is to look your best at every possible opportunity.
Don’t walk around in your old clothes, on a bad hair day, or without any makeup on (if you’re a girl who is trying to figure out how to make your ex-boyfriend jealous) just because you assume you won’t see them. You can never be sure of that and you never know when and where you could bump into your ex.
However, you don’t want them thinking that they’ve destroyed you to the point that you don’t have the will to dress up, let alone something else.
Yes, this is the person who probably saw you looking your worst, so you might think that there is no use in pretending to be someone you’re not in front of them.
Besides, if they see you looking your best, they’ll wonder if there is a reason behind your great appearance and whether that reason is that you’re dating someone new.
It wouldn’t be a bad thing to do something new to yourself. Have a makeover or just get a new haircut and surprise your ex with the new version of the person they dated.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to wear a tuxedo or a ballgown every time you leave the house-just make sure you’re smoking hot. Make them see what they’ve lost and make them regret their decision to leave you!
5. Get back on the dating market
The next step in trying to figure out how to make your ex jealous is getting back in the dating pool. You don’t have to start a new committed relationship right away but there is no harm in putting yourself out there.
Many people keep on acting like they’re taken even after a break up because they expect their ex to come back and they don’t want to give them a chance to hold any grudges regarding their behavior while they were not together.
First of all, you’re single and it’s time to start acting that way. Therefore, living as if you’re in a relationship is a big mistake.
It won’t send your ex a message of your everlasting love for them. Instead, it will make them think like you’re incapable of finding anyone else besides them and that you are spending your days patiently waiting for them to have the decency to go back to you.
So, if you don’t want to look desperate, start mingling with the opposite sex. Don’t get me wrong-I’m not forcing you to sleep with or even kiss someone unless you’re ready to do so.
However, to start, get some practice. Talk to other boys and girls, go to that blind date your best friend set up for you, respond to compliments, accept someone hitting on you, flirt back when another person approaches you, and install a dating app.
6. Follow the no contact rule
While you’re doing all of this, in the initial stage of your breakup, it’s crucial that you follow the no contact rule for at least a month and if possible, for three whole months.
This means that under no circumstances are you allowed to reach out to your ex. You can’t text them to see what’s up, you can’t call them when you hear a song that reminds you of them, and you can’t tell them that you miss them.
Don’t like their selfies on social media, try not to watch their Instagram and Snapchat stories, and don’t even go to places you expect to run into them.
No, you won’t have to keep on doing these things forever. The goal of the no contact rule is just for your ex to feel your absence and to start to miss you.
They should become scared of losing you forever, so they end up realizing how much they actually love you. Naturally, this is utterly impossible if you’re constantly right in front of them and if you keep on showing them that you aren’t going anywhere.
I know you miss them and you probably want to contact them all the time. Maybe you have some unanswered questions and need closure but this is not the time to search for them.
So, the next time you think about reaching out to your ex, ask yourself what kind of message you are sending them.
Does this call say: “I’m doing great without you and there is much for you to be jealous of” or does it say: “I’m desperate without you and I’m right where you left me”?
7. Use social media to your advantage
In modern dating, social media has become a huge part of every relationship. Even though it can be destructive for a romance, in the situation you’re experiencing now, it can help a lot.
I assume that you’re trying to figure out how to make your ex jealous on Facebook or Instagram. Well, here is exactly how.
For starters, you can write some status updates about how great your life has been going lately. Avoid pathetic, sad quotes about broken hearts and failed relationships.
Instead, focus on your happiness, without mentioning your ex in these lines.
After that, proceed to check-in and post selfies from different locations. Make sure you’re never alone and that you’re in the company of some of the opposite sex.
If there is a specific person your ex was especially jealous of, now is the time to become an even better friend with them. Put up some photos of you having an awesome time with this person, comment on their status updates, and like everything they post.
Another thing you should pay special attention to is your online activity. Make sure you go offline every night, so they assume that you’re busy or out with someone.
If you and your ex are still friends on social media, doing all of this will be a piece of cake. On the other hand, if you’ve unfollowed each other, just make sure that all of your posts and photos are public.
Also, if they’ve happened to block you, don’t worry- I assure you that they’ll use someone else’s profile to search for your name – at least from time to time.
8. Use their friends to your advantage
Besides using social media in your favor, you can also do the same with your ex’s friends. You two dated for a while, so it is likely that you know the same people or have some mutual friends.
Well, these are the people who can serve as messengers. Instead of rubbing your happy life or new partner directly in your ex’s face, make sure they think you’re living your best and hope they’ll get the news.
You can even do this while you follow the no contact rule-mention to these people that you’re back on the dating market, let them see the self-progress you’ve made, and make sure you always meet them looking your best.
When you see them, avoid moping and talking about your ex at all costs. Instead, act like you couldn’t care less about what’s going on in his or her life.
I know that you probably want to get some basic information but always be aware that your ex will literally get a transcript of this conversation and that they’ll hear all about your behavior.
9. Start seeing someone else
There is no doubt about one thing-the best and the most effective way to make your ex jealous is to start dating someone new. It’s to fall in love with someone else and to completely erase them from your heart.
However, if that happens, you won’t care about how your ex feels, right? Well, that is the irony of life: usually, when you manage to make someone jealous, you no longer care whether they’re jealous or not.
Also, it would be pretty unfair for you to drag a third person in your mess. Imagine if you got yourself involved in a serious relationship and your new partner ended up falling in love with you for real only to find out that you’d been using them all along to make your ex jealous.
Nobody would like to be in that situation.
However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t go on dates. Don’t start anything serious unless you happen to develop feelings, but certainly go on a few casual dates and see where it gets you.
First of all, it will help you cope with the break up and maybe you’ll even start to like someone new. Secondly, you never know whether your ex will find out about it.
10. …or at least pretend that you do
On the other hand, if you don’t feel ready to date again and if you can’t stand the opposite sex, which is a common consequence of a devastating breakup, you can always find a fake boyfriend or girlfriend.
Yes, this might sound crazy but desperate times call for desperate measures.
For example, ask a friend of the opposite sex to pretend to be your new partner. Go on dates with this person somewhere your ex might see you together, or ask them to be your plus one on events where you’ll both be present.
Just make sure this is someone your ex doesn’t know. If this is too much for you, pretend that you have a new boyfriend or girlfriend on your social media.
Post photos with this mysterious new person-you don’t even have to put their face on, you two could hug and be ‘caught’ from behind, or it could be a photo of you holding hands.
For this scenario, you can use literally anyone of the opposite sex- a girl or guy friend – and don’t even have to find someone your ex doesn’t know.
The important thing here is to never admit what you’ve done, even if it backfires to you. If you happen to get back together with your previous partner and even if this imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend starts to become an issue, never confess the truth.
Besides being classified as a lunatic and ruining all the progress you’ve made, you’ll also destroy all the chances of pulling off a stunt like this if you ever need it again in the future.
11. Answer their text messages and calls wisely
Once the no contact period is over and you get back to talking to your ex, use this new situation to your advantage as well. First of all, don’t be the one texting, calling, and chasing them, because if you are, you’ve achieved absolutely nothing.
Instead, engineer a situation in which they reach out to you. If necessary, tease them and provoke them through social media and mutual friends but do your best not to make the actual first step.
For example, you can post a song or a status update you know they’ll have to react to-something you two listened to or laughed at together. However, don’t put on something pathetic that will make them think that you’re sad and heartbroken. Instead, post an inside joke or something that could be interpreted in more than one way.
Then, when they contact you about it, tell them that it is just a coincidence and that they’re imagining things. Not only that-act surprised that they remember the connotation that you’ve forgotten all about.
Also, when you two talk, don’t be the one to initiate the topic about your love lives. Pretend that you’re not interested in whether they’re dating someone new and if they’ve moved on.
Instead, let them be the one to ask you this question. And, even when that happens, don’t act like you’ve been waiting your entire life to tell them that you have a new boyfriend or girlfriend.
What you should do is give vague responses from which they can conclude that you’ve moved on without you actually saying a single concrete word about it. Sometimes, it’s more than enough to say you don’t want to talk about it for your ex to become suspicious and to assume that you’re hiding your new love.
Most importantly-don’t be the one to talk about the past. Don’t show them that you’re still bothered by your relationship – instead, let them think that you see it as nothing more than a distant memory.
When it comes to replying to your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend when they call or text you, take your time. Also, it would be a good idea to ignore them late at night and to respond during the day only.
This way, they’ll think that you’re probably with someone else and that’s the reason you’re ignoring them. On the other hand, they’ll also see that you’re not a booty call they can reach out in the middle of the night.
12. Use body language signals
Whenever you hear or read about body language signals, you get advice on how to let the other person know you like them through non-verbal communication. However, in this case, you need different directions and to learn how to hide your true feelings from your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, in order to make them feel jealous.
You see, the thing that hurts the most and which makes people go crazy is someone who once loved them being completely indifferent towards them.
So, instead of acting like you hate your ex, you need to show them that you couldn’t care less about them and that all of the emotions you had are long gone.
Therefore, whenever you run into them, act polite but not overly friendly. Avoid all types of physical contact-don’t hug them, don’t kiss them on the cheek and only shake hands with them.
If you are in the company of other people, don’t sit or stand next to them. Ignore them as much as you can, even though this is probably the last thing you want to be doing.
Even when they try to “accidentally” touch your hand or knee, or hug you-back out. Let them see that you’re not comfortable with them being too close and that they lost the privileges they once had the second they broke up with you.
Another important thing when it comes to body language signs is eye contact. You can do everything by the book but if your eyes, which are windows to the soul, betray you and give away your true emotions, all of your effort will have been in vain.
When you see your ex, don’t look down: that can make them think that you’re embarrassed or hurt.
Instead, look them straight in the eyes while you are talking. Be fierce and strong and don’t let them see any traces of pain or anger inside of you.
However, when you two aren’t communicating, don’t look at them if you’re in the same room. Don’t search for their look over an entire club or restaurant and don’t even respond to their attempts to maintain deep eye contact.
Also, if it’s possible, pretend that you’re exchanging looks with someone else. If nothing else, stare at one spot behind your ex, so they think you’re maintaining eye contact and flirting with someone who is not them.
I won’t lie to you-controlling yourself won’t be easy. Nevertheless, ignoring your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend this way will get the job done and it will definitely make them wonder whether they should be jealous.
13. Make yourself look busy
The next step in making your ex jealous is pretending to be as busy as possible. You’ve already been advised to turn off your Whatsapp, Facebook, and Instagram status activity every night, so your ex thinks you’re out on a date.
Well, in addition, there are multiple other ways for them to see that you’re no longer available the way you used to be.
Keep score of everything you do on your social media profiles. Show them what an amazing time you’re having, post photos of your vacations, clubbing, and other hobbies and activities.
Show them in a sneaky way that you have a new life, new friends, or a new relationship.
When they send you a text message, only reply after a few hours or even the next day, so they have a chance to rack their brains about where you’ve been and what you’re doing.
Then, when you do reply, politely apologize for the delay and just tell them that you’ve been busy-without any further explanation. After all, you’re no longer a couple and your ex doesn’t have the right to have an insight in your daily activities.
When they call you, be strong and let the phone ring out and then get back to them. If you answer the call right away, tell them that you’re busy and that you’ll call them back.
The point is for them to see that your life hasn’t stopped just because they ceased to be a part of it. You haven’t stopped existing and in fact, you’re more alive than ever.
In fact, they should think that you’ve never even tried to figure out how to make your ex jealous and that they’re the last person on your mind and in your heart.