That’s it. There’s no point in denying it anymore. I finally realized the signs my wife is not attracted to me anymore and came to terms with it.
Sometimes, it’s a very challenging job to keep the spark alive when you’re with someone in a long-term relationship. Unfortunately, my wife and I have obviously failed at it.
To be honest, I don’t know where I went wrong. I would only want to know what made her change her feelings for me.
Most of all, I would like her to admit it to me and tell me the exact moment she realized that she isn’t attracted to me anymore.
Even though I came to terms with this unfortunate fact, I still don’t have the guts to confront her about it. After all, I do still love her, and honestly, I don’t want our marriage to end.
We have spent so many years together.
There are so many beautiful memories we created together. No matter what happens with our marriage in the future, I will always cherish those beautiful and unforgettable moments.
A few questions are running through my mind constantly.
Is it possible to save a broken relationship? Will we be able to fix and save our marriage after all? Will I be able to win her heart over again? How to save a marriage?
I have the same answer to all those questions… I don’t know. I truly don’t know. All I have left is the hope that even though she stopped being attracted to me, she has not stopped loving me.
I really think that as much as love is significant for a healthy relationship to work, so is passion. It increases the intensity of our feelings in a romantic relationship.
The fact is that if the passion has walked out of your marriage, love will follow it, and sooner or later, love will leave your marriage, too.
The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will be able to find a solution and save your marriage. Love is truly a very complicated thing.
I know that feelings can change, but it’s very hard to accept that in one moment, you and your partner can be completely in love and madly attracted to each other, while in another moment, all that attraction can wax and wane just like that.
I know that the honeymoon phase can’t last forever, but respect, love, and support must remain in a relationship or marriage forever.
If you notice any of these red flags and suspicious behaviors below, warning bells must start ringing.
I put together these obvious signs my wife is not attracted to me anymore with the hope that it’ll help someone else find out the truth and try to save their marriage before it’s too late.
18 Clear Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me Anymore
When you’re in a relationship or you have been married to someone for a long time, it becomes very challenging to keep the spark alive.
Unfortunately, most couples fail to resist that challenge and that’s why there are more and more divorces nowadays.
In order to have and maintain a healthy relationship, both partners must put the effort into that relationship and fight for it together.
This is very difficult for me to admit, and it hurts like hell, but I realized and finally came to terms with the fact that my wife is simply checking out of our marriage.
If you’re in a similar situation, and if you’re asking how to know if your wife is not attracted to you and you are feeling unsure about marriage, here are some undeniable warning signs your wife is not attracted to you anymore that I hope will help you.
A lack of communication.
One of the building bricks for every healthy relationship is good and effective communication. It’s hard to maintain a good relationship without it.
We almost stopped communicating completely. I really try to initiate communication, to talk about some irrelevant things, but I have a feeling that I’m bothering her or that she’s bored with me and my talking.
Also, I’ll have to prepare well before I confront her about everything I know. Ineffective and unhealthy communication always leads to creating misunderstandings and quarrels between partners.
If you aren’t struggling with a lack of communication in your marriage, you should have confronted your wife a long time ago.
I’m not saying you should fight with her; just sit together and talk about it, so you can achieve an agreement together.
I can feel that we’re slowly growing apart.
I know my wife and I can feel that she has become very distant. Sometimes, I feel like she can’t stand being in the same room with me.
We barely even talk. Our love life is suffering, too. We don’t spend any quality time together. We’ve become like two roommates… we only live together and that’s it.
I don’t remember the last time we told each other a simple ‘I love you’. Even when I say it, I feel like a fool because she gives me only a “half-smile” and turns to the other side of the bed.
Romance has left our marriage.
We never go out on dates anymore, and that truly isn’t my fault. I’m the one who is always proposing to go out or do something new together and she always has some excuse ready to turn me down.
At the beginning of our marriage, she was always trying to surprise me with some romantic dinner dates or some other cute little things, and I knew that she wouldn’t always be so romantic, but all of that has completely stopped now.
I tried to surprise her a few times with a gift or by making her favorite meal, but nothing worked. She wasn’t surprised at all. She even got angry at me in a few of those situations.
Romance is what keeps the spark alive in a relationship. Once it leaves your marriage, the spark will leave, too, and your relationship will be damaged beyond repair.
She takes everything for granted.
She was always a woman of actions; she hated words. I always knew that if I wanted to show her how much I love her, I would have to express it with my actions.
I wanted to put the old spark back into our marriage, and I tried to surprise her several times, but it was like she didn’t care for all those things I was doing for her.
I stopped trying for a while because I saw that it didn’t mean anything to her.
She does everything on her own now. Before, we were both included in our decision-making processes and she would never do something without consulting with me first.
Now, it’s like she stopped involving me in her life and she stopped being involved in mine. Her priorities have changed, and definitely, I’m not on the top of that list anymore.
She has become disrespectful.
Every relationship should be based on mutual respect. When you truly love someone, you don’t want to be disrespectful to them because you know how that would hurt them.
Taking you into account when making plans for the future and consulting with you about some important things is a very good sign of respect.
A simple ‘thank you’ after you do something nice for them is a sign they respect you and don’t take you for granted.
In a good and healthy marriage, there shouldn’t be any secrets between partners. I noticed that my wife has started hiding some things from me, and that was the first sign of disrespect.
See also: 23 Signs Of A Disrespectful Wife (And What To Do About It)
She doesn’t initiate physical contact anymore.
Sometimes, I really have the feeling that she hates me and sees me as her worst enemy.
It’s not just that she doesn’t initiate physical contact anymore, but she also doesn’t allow me to touch her, to hug her, to cuddle her…
I’m trying to realize what I have done to her. I constantly rewind the film of the last few months in my head, but I really can’t understand what made her cool off so much.
Before, she was the one that always wanted to hold hands in public; now she gets angry every time I try to take her hand when we’re walking outside.
She goes to bed before me every single night.
I remember how we were cuddling in front of the fireplace or watching movies every night before. It was my favorite part of the day.
Now, that has changed also. After we eat dinner, she watches TV a little bit and she goes to bed much too earlier than she did before.
I have a feeling like she is running from me. She doesn’t want us to be close, and this is the best way to avoid it because she doesn’t have the guts to refuse me directly.
She seems “checked out” while we make love.
As I have already said, our love life is suffering, too, because there is no intimacy between us. We hardly ever make love anymore, and even when we do, she seems cold and disconnected. I just don’t know how to get her in the mood anymore.
I have also stopped initiating it because I have a feeling like I’m forcing it, and that’s something I would never really do.
For me, physical intimacy is all about connection and closeness. You can’t improve one without improving the other.
If you are feeling like your partner is disconnected while you’re being intimate, it’s probably because they’re focusing on something else.
They’re physically there, but both emotionally and mentally, they are in a whole different place.
For me, the worst thing is that I can’t get to her no matter how hard I try. She has become a closed-off person and I just can’t get to her.
Every time I want to talk about our marriage and our feelings, every time I ask her if everything is okay, she gets brief with answers and we finish the conversation very soon.
We had a very good emotional connection. We were always best friends first, then we were lovers and romantic partners. I knew her deepest and darkest secrets just like she knew mine.
We would talk basically about everything. If one of us was upset or angry about something, we would always find a way to talk those things through.
Picking fights over silly things is her thing now.
Sometimes, I can’t even remember what we were fighting about because fights and quarrels about some stupid, irrelevant things have become a part of our everyday life now.
It’s like she wants us to be angry at each other all the time. We didn’t fight before, but now, it’s really driving me crazy.
I always say to her that no matter what the problem is, we can solve it through good and healthy communication. But no, she doesn’t believe in it anymore. Now, she only looks for reasons to fight with me.
She’s moody all the time, but only with me.
If I understand it well, all women are moody on those days of the month, right? Well, my wife is moody all the time, and I have noticed that she’s being moody only with me.
When we have guests, she’s nice and kind, but as soon as they leave, she brings back that moody other woman in her.
She blames me for everything bad that happens to us. She’s never pleased with my behavior or the way I treat her. She’s always nagging even about things that aren’t important at all.
See also: How To Deal With A Negative Spouse In 12 CLEVER Ways
She has become a real pro at changing the subject.
For me, the problem isn’t that she doesn’t initiate communication anymore, it’s the fact that she’s avoiding talking with me.
Also, she has become very good at changing subjects that she isn’t okay with.
Every time I ask her what’s happening and why did she become so distant, she changes the subject and starts talking about something else. Sometimes, I don’t even realize it immediately.
I feel like she still cares for me and doesn’t want to admit that her feelings for me have changed because she knows it would hurt me. It’s the only logical explanation I can think of right now for her behavior.
She isn’t affectionate anymore.
Would you believe me if I tell you that she completely forgot my last birthday?
She didn’t buy me anything, she didn’t make a birthday cake for me, and she was always doing it… She didn’t even wish me a good and happy birthday.
I was really sad and disappointed. I never forgot her birthday, our anniversary, or some other important dates.
I knew how much those things mean to her and I couldn’t allow myself to hurt her by forgetting the date when we got married, for example.
Also, she was always making some little surprises when I came home from work.
For example, once, she made my favorite meal and put a hundred sticky notes all around the house on which she wrote reasons why she loves me.
Phone calls and text messages have become very rare.
Before, whenever I was on a business trip, she would constantly check in on me and I would get tons of her texts messages and calls where she was telling me how much she misses me, and that she can’t wait for me to come back home.
Now, she only asks how long will I be on the trip, and that’s all. I really miss her messages because each message would brighten up my day and make me smile.
Closed-off body language.
I was always aware of the fact that in order to have a successful relationship with someone, you must learn to read their body language.
I always knew when she was angry, upset, sad, disappointed, or happy by her body gestures.
Now, I’m not able to read them because her body language has become totally closed-off. This is just another way she doesn’t allow me to come near her.
She chooses to work overtime more often.
In the beginning, I thought that she wanted to progress in her career, and I was okay with her working overtime. But, when she got the promotion, she continued coming home late.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to accept this, but now I’m sure that she’s choosing to work overtime rather than to come home and be with me the entire evening.
I know her job. I know how things work there. No one will make you work overtime if you don’t want to.
Therefore, it seems to me that it’s a very good opportunity for her to run from home and avoid me as much as possible throughout the day.
I found out some things that made me doubt her loyalty.
She’s always on her phone. I know it’s wrong, but I just had a feeling that that little glass box might be the reason why she has become so distant.
So, one day, while she was making us dinner, I snooped through her phone. I didn’t want to read her texts with her girlfriends; I only wanted to see if there was someone new in her life.
I found some compromising messages from one of her co-workers. He makes her laugh and that’s precisely how I seduce her.
I don’t want to make any hasty conclusions, but I really think that there is something going on between them.
I’m still afraid to confront her because I know that if she falls in love with that man, then our little bit unhappy marriage is definitely beyond saving.
My gut is telling me that something is off.
Do you know the feeling when that inner voice is just telling you that something is awkward? Well, I can’t get rid of that feeling, and I’m completely sure that voice is telling me the truth.
I know my wife. I know that she has changed. Even though I can’t find reasons for it, her behavior towards me has definitely changed. I only hope that her feelings are still the same as before.
See also: 18 Signs Your Wife Wants To Leave You & How To Save Your Marriage
Final Words
I started noticing these signs that my wife is not attracted to me anymore very long ago, but it took me a while to accept it and come to terms with it.
I’m still attracted to her and I still love her like I did the very first day, so it has been very difficult for me to accept the fact that her feelings have changed.
She’s still my best friend, my partner in crime, my lover, and my everything. I still hope this is just a phase and we’ll be able to fight with it and save our marriage.
I’m not quitting, and I will never give up on our marriage because I honestly love her and appreciate everything we’ve achieved together over the years.
When it comes to true love, there should never be quitting or giving up.
The reason why I put together these signs my wife is not attracted to me anymore is because I want to help other men who are in the same situation realize whether their wives have lost their desire for them or not.
I know it’s hard to accept it, especially if you still honestly love your wife, but the sooner you come to terms with it, the sooner you will be able to fix a broken marriage.
However, you should know that a fluctuation in the romance can be just a temporary phase in your marriage. It doesn’t have to mean that it’s doomed or that your wife has stopped loving you.
Passion and romance waxes and wanes in a relationship.
It doesn’t mean that you’re in a loveless marriage or that it has come to an end, and it definitely doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t love you anymore or wants to leave you.
Also, you should never blame yourself for it. There are so many possible reasons why the spark has gone from your relationship.
Menopause, having kids, self-esteem, and self-confidence issues are just a few possible reasons why your wife has stopped being attracted to you.
The other thing you should know is that all married couples encounter challenges and difficulties.
If your bond is strong and if the love is real, then there is no obstacle that you won’t be able to overcome together.
You can win your significant other back. Just remind her why she fell in love with you in the first place.
Remind her of your first date or the first time you two kissed. Bring back some of those beautiful memories and win your wife’s heart back again.
Always remember, true love is always shown through little things because those things matter the most to every woman.
On the other hand, if you’re aware that your wife has stopped loving you and is cheating on you with someone else, even if you love her deeply, you must gather the strength to let her go.
Let go of your marriage because there is no point in saving a broken relationship if the other side isn’t willing to cooperate. You can’t fix your marriage by yourself.
Don’t ever force anything in life, but especially, don’t force love.
If you’re aware that she doesn’t love you the way she used to or that there is another man in her life, it’s best for you to let her go, and move on with your life.
I know it’ll be painful and it’ll hurt you, but you need to man up and be brave. There is no point in sticking with something that has no future, and a loveless marriage definitely doesn’t have a future.
For the last time, I’m going to ask you to think well about these warning signs that your wife is not attracted to you anymore.
If you love her, then fight for her until your last breath. But, if you have a feeling that she has checked out of your marriage, then it’s time for you to do the same.
Whichever option you choose, I wish you luck. I know you’ll need it as much as I need it right now.
I’m going to tell you only one thing more… fight for true love because it’s truly the only thing that brings meaning to our lives.