These days, marriage has become a real debate in which everyone has their own opinions on who is a “real candidate” for it and who should not get married due to some assumptions or prejudice. But, not in my case.
For some unknown reasons, I’ve always felt unsure about marriage and never was one hundred percent for or against it.
We used to talk about it a lot, and sometimes we would be on the same page, but sometimes our opinions collided, and one of us would be totally against it.
So, I’ve figured it out that the only way to find the right answer is to create a list of pros and cons that will help us decide.
And, believe me, it did help us. And if you’re having the same dilemmas as we did, I warmly recommend to read the following list of pros and cons of marriage to figure things out.
7 PROS AND 7 CONS OF MARRIAGE
1. You’re influenced by others’ expectations and rules
Getting married is not just saying: “Yes, I do” to the love of your life and then living happily ever after.
There are also some annoying legalities you need to deal with once you’re in marriage waters. You are no longer left to your own decisions.
Your plans and savings directly influence the plans and savings of your partner, and there will always be a need to consider vast factors and sign numerous papers in order to appease the legalities.
When you’re single, you don’t have to think about things like this which are in most of the cases draining as hell.
2. Marriage seems outmoded
Marriage has lost its charms in general. Before it was something every couple would do without having second thoughts about it because of the pressures of society, financial security, or similarities. And today we have a different picture of it.
We are free to live with our boyfriend or girlfriend without being judged for it or pressured by others to get married which is awesome.
So, why would we rush things if we don’t have to yet? The decision to live together as a couple sounds pretty inviting. As a matter of fact, it’s the same thing as being married, only that you haven’t signed anything.
3. Weddings are a real financial burden
Preparing a wedding can be a real financial ordeal. Those who have gone through it can confirm you for sure. Apart from your job and others things you currently do in life, you will have to make place in your budget for preparing a wedding as well.
And if you’ve always had pictures in your head of your perfect wedding day, you will have to do everything in your power to make it come true.
If your current finances can’t support your wishes, you will not be content and your wedding would turn into a disappointment.
4. The divorce rate has significantly increased
And it is still increasing. There’s this epidemic of divorced couples, single moms and single dads and I’m sure you already know a few of them in your circle of friends and family.
While it doesn’t have to mean that you’ll end up being divorced, there is still some percentage proving that you might.
If your guts are telling you that you’re not ready yet or if your partner might not be the best marriage material, it is better to wait until you have better insight and perspective on how thinally are.
5. Commitment phobia is a real struggle
Choosing one person for the rest of your life sounds a little bit scary, right? It is like going to a chocolate factory where you’re “forced” to choose only one type of chocolate that you’ll be eating till the rest of your life.
Are you capable of doing that? Are you capable of discarding all of the other flavors to devote all of yourself to the one you’ve chosen? If not, you know what you ought to do because commitment phobia is not something you should take for granted.
6. Marriage could change how things are
Sometimes marriage can influence your happiness and change the good you’ve had before while you were unmarried.
For example, married people have this tendency to relax a little bit too much than they should because now they’re married, and it’s the end of the story.
So, sometimes they forget to fight for their partners and work on themselves because they think that they should be accepted as they are because they’ve signed the sacred “contract” of loving each other at their good and bad (which comes as a perfect excuse).
7. Questions about having children are never-ending
So, let’s say that you’ve decided to get married, but you still don’t want children or you haven’t even thought about having them. Now, how will you explain this to all of these people who will constantly keep bombarding you with questions regarding your future offspring?
I’m sure you already have a few of them in mind who might fit the role of being “a pain in the ass” and who keep living other people’s lives and worrying about what they certainly shouldn’t.
1. Other people will understand better your relationship status
Your relationship status will no longer be the biggest enigma the world has seen or to be exact your grandma and grandpa who still can’t deal with how things function today. You will no longer have to think of what to say before introducing yourself and your partner to others because now you will know exactly what to say proudly and out loud: “I’m her/his husband/wife”.
2. You get insurance and tax subsidies
It might not be the most appropriate thing to think about in this situation, but being married has its financial benefits as well. So, if you’ve always thought about making some changes in life but couldn’t afford it, when you get married these will be much easier for you to accomplish when your budget is improved.
3. With your new husband and wife labels, you get new life roles
During our lives, we go through different roles from being a daughter/son, sister/brother, granddaughter/grandson and now you’re about to become someone’s wife or husband! Hooray!! Doesn’t it sound exciting to proudly share your new labels with the rest of the world?
Doesn’t it sound exciting to share your love with the rest of the world? It surely does because it is one of the most beautiful roles one could have during his lifetime, so think about it.
4. If you have the opportunity to choose to marry the love of your life, use it
Before, people were massively forced to enter an arranged marriage and follow the traditional rules of their family or beliefs (and it is still actual even today but in smaller numbers). Today, we are mostly free to choose to marry the loves of our lives, so why not use the opportunity to do so?
Why not let the love we keep carrying in our hearts for another human being flourish? Many of those who were/are forced to marry someone for some other reasons than love would have killed for the opportunity to do otherwise. So, be wise and be grateful.
5. Planning a wedding is creative and lots of fun
Planning a wedding is the perfect excuse to go madly creative and try your hand at doing the impossible. From balloons, confetti to different beautiful flowers in thousands of colors and more, you get to choose how your perfect day will look.
You have the opportunity to make it a real fairy tale (if that’s what you always wanted) and you have the opportunity to have lots of fun while doing it. Especially if you’re a creative maniac, now is the perfect time to shine.
6. It gives you the opportunity to praise your relationship
I believe that every relationship deserves to be crowned at some point because five years or more spent together definitely deserve a special celebration. All of these hardships you’ve survived together, all of these happy moments, kisses, tears deserve to be praised by a celebration called marriage. It is a perfect opportunity to say to the world and to yourselves that you’ve gone through a lot, you’re still together, you still love each other no matter what. It’s just beautiful.
7. If deep down in your heart you really want it, then why not?
If you can’t think of any specific reason why not and you’re still having second thoughts about it, then ask yourself why not? If deep down in your heart you know you really want to do it, but you somehow keep making excuses not to do it, then just do it.
After all, you only live once, and if you’re sure that you’ve found the love of your life, someone who will be there for you in your bad and at your good, someone who will share joy and tears with you, then do not wait. Enjoy the moment of saying: “Yes, I do” and becoming someone’s friend, lover, and life companion just as I did myself (and I didn’t regret it).