There comes a day in every girl’s life where she has to ask herself the question: “Why is he texting me if he’s not interested?”
Men sometimes make some moves that are not that easy to explain.
Texting you, even though they said or showed in some way that they are not interested, falls into that category.
Male and female relationships are never easy due to the sole fact that we are different genders. Vague texting can make things even more complicated.
Most of us tend to overanalyze the texts we get from the man we like. We tend to make them more relevant than they really are.
That’s not really necessary since most guys bluntly say what they mean.
However, there are texting situations that can be misused by men. They appear not to be interested, or they even say they are not interested, but they keep texting you. Men playing with ambiguous texts can really drive a girl nuts.
That’s why we are here to make a whole situation a little less crazy and provide you with all the possible answers to the main question here: “Why is he texting me if he’s not interested?”
1. He wants an ego boost
Men are prone to seek approval from their friends. So, you might just be one of those women that make him look good in front of his friends.
It is also related to their self-esteem—it might not be that high, so they search for ways they can improve the image they have of themselves.
He wants to be such a badass that he can have any girl he wants. Or he wants his friends to think that. Such a show-off!
That’s why he is keeping you as a beautiful souvenir. And you don’t wanna collect dust. Trust me.
2. You are his backup plan
If things with another girl don’t work out, you are his next option or one of his next options.
The way in which you’ll know for sure if you are his backup plan or not is to just watch what he does. The signs will be obvious: He sends texts from time to time and not on a regular basis; he never has time to hang out when you want, literally never, so he comes by when it’s most convenient for him; you notice his text message list is long and filled with female names when you glance at his phone while you are hanging out.
Keeping you on the bench like this is really lame. You are worth so much more, and you need to be somebody’s first option and only choice. Don’t accept anything less.
3. He placed you in the friend-zone
And that is the zone you really don’t wanna be in. But it appears you are stuck there. He texts you in search of a listening ear. He even seeks advice on topics you don’t want to answer—possibly they have something to do with his ex, current or future girlfriend.
You are probably a very good friend and a very good listener, so he enjoys texting you and spending time with you. The texts between the two of you might even be more intimate than with other mutual friends.
You might also have some inside jokes. But he always refers to you as a friend, never as something more.
He is holding you close enough for you not to let go, but he is not behaving like somebody who has anything more than friendship in mind.
4. He doesn’t really know what he wants
He wants a relationship, but he is afraid of getting too attached. He has some personal things to deal with, and he can’t commit to a relationship at this moment. He wants you in his life, but he can’t call you his girlfriend.
Any of these scenarios ring a bell?
Tell him to get back to you when he sorts out his thoughts. He might actually be into you, but he is confused, and he is buying himself time to figure things out.
However, that’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to keep you in emotional limbo. He can’t have you and not have you at the same time. Don’t allow him to drag you into an almost relationship.
If he figures out what he wants and you haven’t moved on, lucky him. But he can’t expect you to put your life on hold while he sorts his life out and deals with his fears.
5. He is a player
He is just used to playing games with women, and you are not the exception. This might not necessarily mean that he is not into you, but he is taking his time to get there.
He is probably insecure and wants to test where he stands. He also might be just finding out what he really wants.
He keeps texting because he wants you to be interested, but he never gives too much. He doesn’t text for days, and then he comes with sweet talk after a while or you might be constantly texting for a longer period, and all of a sudden he disappears.
He takes his time to answer and keeps you waiting and wanting more, wondering what he’ll write next.
It’s a spider web, and if you are not careful, you could be stuck into texting for a while.
6. You are deluding yourself
He was straightforward, and he told you that he is not looking for anything serious right now. You are just hooked on the words right now, hoping that things will change in the future.
It’s time to stop dreaming and see the reality. His opinion isn’t likely to change. He has been honest and has told you what he really means. There is nothing more to it.
Don’t waste your time thinking that he will have a change of heart and suddenly be ready for a relationship.
He told you what he wants. Now it’s your time to choose if you want something casual or to end the texting completely, but if you are hoping for something more committed, don’t hold your breath.
7. He is just flirting
For some guys, flirting is just a part of their personalities. They can’t help it. It comes naturally to them. They might be in a relationship or married, but they have the urge to be noticed by other women.
Even if they are just friends with you, they might exaggerate and lead you on unintentionally.
8. You are his booty call
He is just after one thing, and you are well aware of it. For one reason or another, you might choose to ignore your common sense.
If he only texts you late at night out of the blue; if he is only texting you when he is drunk (alcohol gives him the strength to ask things that he would never do sober), he is just using the fact that you have the hots for him or even feelings for him.
Also, pay attention to whether his texts hint that he is just into sex. He texts things like: “You look so hot in your latest pic., Your booty looks great in those jeans.” or something similar. He is making his intentions obvious.
If you were hoping for something more or that he will change with time and see your worth, I am sorry to say that ain’t gonna happen.
9. He is texting you because he is bored
It’s that simple. Even though it might sound stupid, some guys actually do things like this. He has nothing better to do, and your number is conveniently still on his phone.
The first indicator of these kinds of texts is that it takes a long time for him to remember to text you again. It might take weeks or even months.
He also might be giving you some lame excuses as to why it took so long for him to text, but he really misses your company. Don’t fall for that.
10. He is lonely
Asides from boredom, loneliness can be one of the major reasons why he keeps texting you even if he says or shows in other ways that he is not interested.
Underneath all that macho facade he actually needs somebody who will listen, make him laugh or comfort him.
If he’s texting you usually at night or on Sunday afternoons, he is looking for a way to feel less lonely, and you are just perfect to fill that void.
Try texting less on those occasions. Come up with an excuse why you can’t text at that moment, and say that you will catch up another day.
Don’t allow him to use your good nature. You are not a charity organization. There are days when you feel lonely and melancholic, but you wouldn’t text him just because of that, now would you?
11. He simply loves the attention you are giving him
He loves to feel wanted and admired,. He craves it so badly that it’s almost like an addiction. He doesn’t necessarily have to be in a relationship with you or have anything physical with you. He is just high on the fact that you are making efforts to text even if he does the bare minimum.
If you suspect this is the case, the best thing you can do is slow down, stop replying to his effortless texts with fun and engaging replies. Make sure you are not overdoing anything regardless of who sent the first text.
You also deserve the attention you are giving him, and if he’s not meeting you halfway, wave him goodbye.
12. He finds you interesting
He is texting you for the sake of texting. You are fun to talk to, you have a great sense of humor, you make him laugh, and you always have some witty remarks.
Hardly a day goes by without him initiating the conversation, but he never asks you out on a date, and he never texts about seeing you.
For some reason, he only wants a virtual relationship with you. Whatever it is, don’t allow this to continue for too long because you will get emotionally attached and get hurt in the process.
Texting with him on a regular basis, sharing your thoughts with him and hearing his stories will give you the feeling of closeness even though you don’t have anything physical going on.
13. He is freshly out of a relationship
When a man gets out of a relationship, especially a long term one, he is not nearly ready to begin something new or make a real commitment.
If you are texting with somebody who is in this situation, whatever you do, don’t take him seriously. He will text you regularly, flatter you, and make you feel special, then go off and disappear for days.
Trust me—this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and the mess he has in his head. He doesn’t know what he wants and where he is headed. He first has to get his life back on track to be able to start something new.
Texting is generally a good thing. It should make things easier, not harder. It reduces stress, especially if you’ve just met a person and started to date. It gives you a chance to get to know them better before you start engaging into something more serious.
The bad side of texting is that somebody can misuse it. They can use text to manipulate you and make you do things their way.
They can use texts to keep you hooked and interested without giving you something real and tangible. By texting, they give you just enough to hold on but never enough to feel safe and genuinely cared for.
While texting with someone, you can form emotional attachments and really start to care for the other person. If nothing comes out of it, you can get severely hurt.
I hope some of these reasons answer your question: “Why is he texting me if he’s not interested?”
Still, these are just some things you need to be on the lookout for. Keep in mind though that some things can be misinterpreted, and real conversations can never be replaced with texts.
Guys are usually upfront, and they use sentences without hidden meanings. So, don’t hold on to little parts of the message that say maybe, not now, we’ll see. You’ll be waiting in vain.
Some of the reasons for guys not being upfront are listed above. They have some ulterior motives for that. These reasons may help you determine if they are using your feelings for them and making you lose your time and energy.
Keep in mind that the best men don’t use texting as a weapon to manipulate—they use it to arrange a date and see you in person.
They prefer talking to you face to face and avoid useless texting. They appreciate you, and they value your time.
So, save your time and energy for them.