Do you sometimes feel like you’re surrounded by superficial people? Does it feel like every single person you meet is just too judgemental, selfish, and empty? Like shallowness and superficiality are taking over the world?
Trust me, I feel you completely. And I think there are so many of us who share the same opinion. That’s exactly why I compiled this list of clear signs of a shallow person that will help you spot them right away.
So, keep your eyes peeled and find out how to save yourself from other people’s shallowness.
Shallow Person Meaning
Let’s begin with the basics; what is a shallow person? Of course, I’m not a human dictionary, and to be honest, I don’t want to offer you some kind of complicated or unclear “shallow person” definition.
I want to explain it to you in a few very simple words.
So, what does it mean to be a shallow person? In layman’s terms, superficial and shallow people are those who lack intellectual, emotional, and physical depth.
They are known for being overly concerned with material things, looks, and social status. They enjoy being the center of attention all the time, and they consider themselves better than everyone else.
This type of person isn’t able to build and maintain a healthy relationship with another human being because as soon as things get serious, they run away.
It’s because they can’t (read: don’t want to) connect with other people on a more profound level. So, the conclusion is that everything that’s ‘deep’ is a huge no-no for them. ?♂️
The word shallow is related to an Old English word sċeald, which means “shoal.” The word shoal means “the water near a shoreline” or “a shallow place in a river, sea, or any other body of water” or simply “shallow water.”
It follows that the word shallow means something that is not deep or lies close to the surface.
I’ll list a few synonyms and antonyms of a shallow person because I think that can also help you understand what a shallow personality is. Its synonyms are empty, frivolous, and superficial person.
On the other hand, profound and deep person are its antonyms.
Shallow Personality Traits
If you are still not sure whether you’re dealing with a shallow person or not, I’ve put the most common traits of a superficial person below that can serve as a checklist to solve your dilemma.
Physical appearance is EVERYTHING to them
This is probably the best definition of shallow people. They’re obsessed with their physical appearance, and the very first thing they notice about other people is their looks.
They’re one of those “you’ll have me on the first impression, or you won’t have me at all” kinds of people.
They’re incredibly self-absorbed
You know why it’s so difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with a shallow person? Because they’re already taken by the love of their life.
They’re the love of their own life, and things will forever stay that way.
Well, this is not a reason why you shouldn’t try to build a relationship with them.
After all, I truly believe that miracles are possible, and maybe you’re that lucky person to get a shallow person to fall in love with you and make you a priority in their life.
When you check their social media profile, you’ll only find their selfies. It’s like no other person exists in their life.
They’re completely in love with themselves, and that’s how they show it to the rest of the world. Everything is and must always be about them.
As you can see, self-love and self-absorption are at a tipping point when it comes to shallow people.
They’re living in a material world
Only material things are able to gather their attention and make them truly happy. Actually, they’re only obsessed with physical possessions.
This is the biggest reason I feel sorry for these kinds of people. They’re not aware that everything bought with money is only temporary and doesn’t have a real long-term value.
Empathy is an unknown word to them
I know that we should all try to put ourselves in another person’s shoes and understand their situation before we judge or criticize them, but that’s just impossible for superficial people because they lack empathy.
Don’t expect these unemotional people to even try to pick up on your feelings. They’re avoiding their own, so why the hell would they even try to understand and accept yours…
Loyalty? What’s that?
Don’t be surprised if they betray you. They aren’t and will never be a loyal friend to you. They’re only loyal to their own needs.
Keep this in mind and be very careful. Don’t share your secrets with them because they definitely won’t take them to the grave.
They may seem arrogant, but…
It’s just camouflage. It’s how they try to hide away their insecurities and all their other flaws and imperfections.
It’s probably why they don’t allow other people to get too close to them because they’re afraid they might blow their cover.
I know this may sound a bit confusing, but the only reason why they want to seem arrogant to other people is to drive them away.
They won’t let anyone too near because they think it’s how they’ll protect themselves from getting hurt and being left heartbroken.
It’s impossible to indulge in a deep conversation with them
People who have shallow personalities are lousy listeners. No, wait, they don’t listen to you while you talk at all.
In the beginning, this may be frustrating to you, but with time, you’ll get used to it. The only time they’ll indulge in a deep conversation with another person is if the conversation benefits them or if they’re the main topic of it.
They do talk, they actually talk a lot, but you know how people say… “A shallow brook babbles the loudest.” They talk a lot but, in the end, they don’t really say anything important. They talk for the sole aim of being the center of attention.
Selfishness is one of their main traits
If a person is selfish, it doesn’t have to mean they’re shallow too. However, if they’re shallow, they’re definitely selfish, too, and that’s something I can guarantee you.
They like material things, never think about other people’s feelings, and only do things that are beneficial to them. If this isn’t the definition of a selfish person, I don’t know what is then.
They love to gossip
This is probably one more reason why they can’t maintain a relationship with other human beings. They can’t keep other people’s secrets because spreading gossip is their biggest guilty pleasure.
Even though they’re aware it may hurt the other person, they will spread rumors and gossip about them, and they really can’t help themselves when it comes to it.
The fact is that their shallowness is driving everyone around them out of their life.
They lack a depth of intellect
It’s a completely reasonable assumption as to why it’s impossible to indulge in a deep conversation with them: they lack intellectual depth.
They only notice obvious things and don’t even want to try to understand things on a deeper level.
They don’t even try to see the bigger picture
Big picture thinking is an unknown term to them. They live in the moment and aren’t concerned about things that aren’t happening right at that moment.
That’s why it’s so difficult for them to deal with change. They stick to things that are familiar to them, and they almost never want to get out of their comfort zone or try something new.
It’s hard for them to maintain a long-term relationship
I think I was too soft with this headline. It’s not hard; it’s actually almost impossible for them to build and maintain a deep, long-term relationship with another human being.
It’s possible, of course. But that is only if the other side puts a really huge effort into making it happen. It’s possible only if they find someone who’s very patient and who’ll fall head over heels in love with them.
Their relationships are just a tool to get what they want
Even if you manage to develop a healthy relationship with this kind of person, you’ll never be able to relax and trust them completely because you’ll never be sure what their true intentions are.
You’ll never be sure if they’re with you because they honestly love you or because of some other reason.
The truth is that these types of people rarely fall in love. They get into relationships just for social status, money, or some other similar interest.
They have no long-term dreams or any dreams at all
You know how some people simply live day by day, without any goals or dreams for the future? Well, they are actually a great example of shallow people.
They don’t have that passion in life that pushes you to develop and achieve all of your dreams, all things you want to have in life. They lack both inspiration and motivation, and that’s why they’ll never be able to enjoy and live life to the fullest.
They won’t do anything if they don’t see their own benefit in it
The thing is that you can never count on them because they will never help you if they don’t see something that benefits them in it. They’re interested only in their personal growth and have no intention to share it with others.
Deep people do things for others without expecting anything in return, while on the other hand, those with shallow personalities do things ONLY if they’ll get something in return.
This is actually one of the main differences between them and deep people.
They’re simply narcissists in disguise
They are egoists. They’re in love with everything material and don’t care about other people’s feelings at all.
I think it’s pretty easy to conclude that people with shallow personalities are nothing but narcissists in disguise.
7 Ways To Deal With Shallow People
Unfortunately, sometimes it’s impossible to ditch the shallow people in your life completely.
In that case, here are some strategies that will help you cope with them and prevent them from spreading their toxicity into your own life.
Don’t even try to understand them
Even if they’re your best friend or some other person very close to you, you shouldn’t bother with trying to understand them because that’s truly a mission impossible.
The truth is that deep people won’t ever be able to understand shallow ones. They simply operate (live their lives) on totally different levels and have very different values and perspectives on life.
Don’t let them manipulate you
People with shallow personalities have the tendency to judge others. It simply makes them feel better about themselves, and they see it as an opportunity to manipulate you into doing something they want you to do.
That’s why you should really be careful around them. Remember that they’re narcissists in disguise, and they’re able to manipulate and control you without you realizing it.
Keep them at a distance
If you can’t/don’t want to cut them out of your life, at least you should keep them at a safe distance. Don’t let them get too close to you because they’ll surely use it for their own benefit.
Set clear boundaries
Not just with them, you should set clear and healthy boundaries with all the other people in your life. This will keep your relationships healthy and save you from potential suffering and heartbreak.
Don’t take everything to heart
As I’ve already said, shallow people like to judge others. Well, actually, they freaking enjoy doing it.
Unwanted opinions… I swear that’s something I hate the most. However, you’ll get those a lot from shallow people. But, you must not allow them to see that their comments have pushed your buttons.
Don’t stoop to their level no matter what
Their judgemental, superficial, empty, and, in a word, shallow nature will make you angry and frustrated from time to time. You’ll even start thinking about stooping down to their level, but let me tell you something, it would be a huge mistake.
Remember, no matter what they say or do to you, you must stay true to yourself. And also, believe me, it’s not worth it.
Simply put, you’re in a “take it or leave it” position
Now, the thing is that you have two options…
Either you’ll accept them for who they are, accept their shallow personality and nature, find a way to cope with them, and keep them in your life…
OR
You can kick them out of your life for good. Escort them out of your life and shut those doors forever.
It’s up to you to decide. If you genuinely care for them, you’ll choose the first option. On the other hand, if they are nothing but an acquaintance to you, you’ll choose option number two.
By And Large
I hope I’ve helped you understand what a shallow personality is, what it means to be a shallow person, and how to handle these kinds of people.
I’m sure that everything you’ve read and found out about superficial people made you think that you should kick them out of your life ASAP. But, OMG, that really wasn’t my intention.
This is especially important if we’re talking about a person you truly, deeply love and have a serious connection with. Just because you’ve found out something you don’t like about them doesn’t mean you should immediately give up on them.
Trust me – if your love is strong enough, you’ll find a way to manage and overcome all your differences. Even though they’re really pretty huge ones.
Your shallow loved one may be hurting you every day, again and again, but it’s possible that they aren’t doing it on purpose or intentionally. So, talk to them and try to get to the root cause of their behavior.
If you see that it’s not possible, then you need to save yourself from their toxicity. Cut them out of your life or, if that’s not possible, keep them at a safe distance.