Skip to Content

14 Signs She Sleeps Around: How To Spot A Cheater

14 Signs She Sleeps Around: How To Spot A Cheater

Getting cheated on is awful, but not knowing about it while it’s happening doesn’t make it any easier. In this case, ignorance is not bliss – the longer it goes on behind your back, the worse the betrayal will feel once you find out.

Some cheaters never get caught because their partners are determined to stay in the dark. But even if you don’t want to know, there’s always that gut feeling drowning you in uncertainty and doubt. A relationship in which one person is sleeping around isn’t happy.

If you suspect that you might have a cheating girlfriend but you can’t be sure, pay attention to the following warning signs she sleeps around.

What Are The Signs She Sleeps Around?

couple in love kissing passionately

When your girlfriend first starts cheating on you, the warning signs might not be immediately obvious – at first, her behavior changes, but the way she acts doesn’t seem like a big deal.

The longer it continues, the easier it becomes to spot. She gets used to not getting caught, so she stops being as careful as she was in the beginning. At the point when it first occurs to you that your girlfriend just slept with someone else, it’s probably not the first time that it has happened. 

These are the signs she sleeps around you can spot early on.

1. She’s emotionally distant

Emotional distance in a relationship can occur for various reasons. On its own, it’s not a sign of cheating, but it’s almost always present alongside infidelity. It’s often the reason why people start to suspect their partners.

You’ll be able to easily recognize emotional distance because it’s something you can feel. If your girlfriend is withdrawing from you, acts indifferent and doesn’t show you affection, she’s becoming emotionally distant.

Even if she’s not cheating on you, emotional distance is a red flag that something is not right in your relationship and that it needs work.

2. She’s pulling away

In addition to creating emotional distance, a cheater will also try to pull away in other ways. She’ll avoid you and try to escape from you whenever she has the chance. The reasons for this are guilt, shame and fear of getting caught.

When you approach her, she’ll suddenly remember she has something else she has to do. She’ll stop waiting for you to eat together. If you’re in a new relationship and still not very close, she’ll make sure it stays that way.

She’s getting all the companionship she needs from other men. Because she knows that what she’s doing is wrong, she can’t even look at you, let alone admit it to you.

RELATED: 15 Psychological Facts About A Cheating Woman

3. She’s acting weird

couple fighting

If something seems off with her, it’s a good sign that it is. Something is going on. 

Of course, if she’s acting strange, she might be going through something and not actually cheating on you. None of these signs are definitive proof on their own, but if you notice lots of them, your suspicions might be justified.

If she’s irritable and picks fights with you for no reason, if she seems on edge and ready to snap at any moment, or if she’s defensive whenever you ask her a question, she’s probably hiding something

Pay attention to other signs to be able to tell for sure whether or not she’s guilty of cheating.

4. She’s obviously lying to you

One of the reasons why you might start to suspect that your girlfriend is hiding something is the way she’s obviously lying to you.

When you ask her a question that might be in some way related to her affair and her answers are a little too vague, it might be a sign that she’s lying.

For example, she says she was out with a coworker, but she won’t tell you who even if you ask. 

Or when she’s talking to a man on the phone and you ask who it was, she says it’s a male friend, but doesn’t give you a name. 

If you ask her where she was after she comes home late, she’ll have an alibi prepared, but it will sound off.

Sometimes you can just tell that someone is lying, but if you’re having trouble with it, here are some tips on how to recognize dishonesty

You can tell when someone is lying to you by using these three steps.

• Find her baseline

Everyone has their normal behavior – their usual body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. To be able to tell that someone is hiding something, you must first know what they’re usually like.

This shouldn’t be a problem because you already know what your girlfriend is like and how she acts when she’s not lying to you.

• Look for red flags

When you know what someone’s baseline is, look for discrepancies and changes. There are no universal signs of lying that everyone will show, but there are common ones that might make an appearance.

Keep in mind that they are only suspicious if they’re different from the way she normally acts.

Eyes: lack of eye contact, excessive blinking.

Mouth: fake smiles, pursed lips.

Microexpressions: sudden glimpses of true feelings that show up on her face for a fraction of a second.

Body: fidgeting, sweating.

• Look for multiple signs

Similarly to how it’s impossible to deduce that someone is cheating on you if they change only one thing in their behavior, it’s also best to look for multiple signs of lying.

If her body language is completely different than usual, she’s probably hiding something, but if she’s not much different from her baseline, then it’s probably something else.

5. She’s manipulating you

man and woman in conflict

If your girlfriend is cheating on you, she’ll do everything she can to stop you from finding out. It’s a given that she’ll be lying, but there are many other ways of manipulation she might resort to if she’s trying to get you off her trail.

Some manipulative behaviors you might encounter are:

• Crying. She bursts into tears when you try talking to her about something that would confirm your suspicions.

• Shaming. “How could you even think that I’d cheat on you? You’re a horrible person.”

• Emotional blackmail. “If you really loved me, you’d never accuse me of something like that.”

• Blame-shifting. “Maybe you’re the one who’s cheating.”

• Gaslighting. “You’re paranoid, I’d never do something like that. Don’t be crazy.”

And even after you catch her cheating, she’ll try to manipulate you into thinking that what you saw was all in your head.

6. She’s less interested in sex

Most cheaters become less interested in sex with their partners after they start sleeping around. This is because to people who cheat, affair sex is far more exciting than sex in a loving relationship.

Most of the time, people who cheat don’t really appreciate their partners, and their view of cheating reflects that. 

Not every cheater is the same, so depending on the person, they could be cheating for one or more of several reasons.

• She doesn’t think of sex as a big deal, so she doesn’t understand why you would be hurt if you discovered that she was cheating. Keep in mind that she’s still hiding her affair, which means that she knows that cheating is wrong, but she doesn’t care enough not to do it.

• An opportunistic cheater cheats because she doesn’t see why she shouldn’t have sex with someone she’s attracted to if she has a chance. This kind of cheater can have sex with people without involving feelings and is okay with having one-night stands even while in a relationship.

• If she needs constant attention from men, she’ll use them to get what she wants. This can lead to her cheating with a lot of guys. Her relationships with them are all about what she can get from them.

• She might say that she’s in love with you, but if she’s cheating on you, she only loves what you give her. Maybe she believes that she loves you, but if she did, she’d think about your feelings too.

• Someone who likes the excitement of sneaking around will get the thrill of getting away with something from cheating. If she feels bored in the relationship, she’s cheating to shake things up. This kind of cheater gets bored in every relationship.

It doesn’t really matter why her attitude toward sex makes it easier for her to cheat, but  knowing might help you understand how her lack of interest in sex is a result of her sleeping around.

7. Your sex life is different

couple without intimacy

When you do have sex, you’ll notice that it’s different from what you’re used to. If she’s cheating, she’ll either be enthusiastic and experimental or going through the motions without any real feeling.

For example, if she’s not into it, it’s because she’s getting enough sex from others, so she’s only doing it with you because she’s trying to deflect your suspicions. 

It would be weird if she suddenly never wanted sex, so she’s sleeping with you because she doesn’t want you to find out that she’s already had all the sex she wanted.

On the other hand, she might be pulling moves she’s never done before or suggesting things she’d never mentioned before. That’s because she’s done it elsewhere and liked it, so she wants to do it again. 

Or, if she’s not cheating, she might just want to try something new. As always, keep in mind that her actions don’t always have to mean that she’s cheating.

Even if you notice several signs at the same time, you can’t be sure, so you should always first try talking to her about any concerns you might have.

8. Her technology use is suspicious

Suspicious use of her cell phone and computer is one of the best indicators that she’s hiding something. This is because if you had access to her text messages or call records, you’d probably be able to immediately know what’s going on.

Here are some digital signs that she’s trying to keep something on her phone and computer hidden.

• Her phone is always with her or locked.

• She keeps her phone on silent.

• She’s always texting.

• Her use of social media is different. For example, she goes private on some accounts.

• You hear dating app notification sounds or you accidentally notice her using one.

• If her phone rings when you’re around, she doesn’t answer or leaves the room to do it.

• You can’t reach her on the phone at certain times.

• She hides her computer use.

• If you come near her when she’s on the computer, she tabs out of what she was doing or minimizes the window.

• She clears her browser history after using the computer.

• She uses the computer late at night while you sleep.

• She stops using shared devices.

9. She pays special attention to her appearance

woman checking her reflection in the mirror

Most people in long-term relationships don’t pay as much attention to their physical appearance as they used to when they were single. If she starts caring more than usual about her looks, she might have a reason.

Paying more attention to her diet and exercise routine might be because she’s trying to lead a healthier life, but it might also be because she wants to look better without clothes on. 

The biggest indicator that she wants to look better for a reason is if she changes her usual routine.

For example, if she never used to dress up or wear perfume to go out with friends but now she does all of a sudden, it might be a sign that she’s probably meeting someone else – someone she wants to look good for.

10. She’s always busy

Has she recently been working overtime every night? Does her boss make her work on the weekends? Is she always going out with friends? Does she have a new hobby she’s never expressed an interest in before?

If she’s always busy these days, it might be that she’s spending the time she’s not available to meet her affair partner for secret rendezvouses. She needs excuses for her absences, so she keeps making them up.

At first glance, her sudden interest in hiking or pottery might not seem suspicious, but a complete change in her routine might be one of the hidden signs that she’s lost interest in you and is trying to hide an affair.

One or two differences in her schedule are normal, but when something comes up all the time, you have a good reason to be suspicious. Unless she’s keeping notes of her lies, you’ll notice inconsistencies in her stories about why she’s gone sooner or later.

11. She doesn’t want to spend time with you

Is she reluctant to be around you even when she does find the time? If she stands you up to hang out with her best friend after you haven’t seen each other for a week, she might be avoiding you.

She might feel uncomfortable spending time with you if she feels guilty for cheating on you. Some people have no problems cheating and feel no remorse, but others still have a conscience, even if they’re doing something that they know will hurt others.

On the other hand, when she does spend time with you, her guilt might make her act overly nice and agree to everything you want. This type of behavior is another hidden sign of cheating.

12. She has expenses she can’t explain

manipulative woman talking to her partner

Have you noticed unexpected charges on her credit card statements? Is there less money in your bank accounts? Has money become an issue?

Asking her about these expenses will make her become defensive or tell obvious lies. She’ll claim she bought something which is nowhere to be found or pretend that she doesn’t know anything about it.

Cheating costs money, and even if the expenses are mostly covered by her affair partner, you’ll notice an occasional change in her spending habits.

An unexpected large cash withdrawal or an unusual credit card charge would be a good sign that she’s spending money on something she doesn’t want you to know about.

13. Her behavior and attitude are different

First and foremost, cheating is painful for the person being cheated on, but often it can take a toll on the cheater as well. 

If she’s cheating because she’s feeling unfulfilled, unhappy or for another reason that goes beyond opportunistic sex, she might be hurting herself alongside hurting you.

Whatever her reason for cheating is, it’s not a justification, but it might explain her behavior. If she’s fully aware that what she’s doing is wrong and feels guilty, she’s probably showing signs of low self-esteem and bad conscience.

On the other hand, she might also be trying to rationalize her behavior by blaming you for her unhappy love life and therefore cheating. If it seems like she’s mad at you for no reason, it’s because she’s trying to make herself feel better about her actions.

She’s critical and angry at you on the outside because on the inside, she’s blaming you for pushing her to do it to make herself feel better.

14. She doesn’t want to communicate

Talking to someone who doesn’t want to discuss something can be impossible. 

If she’s cheating on you and doesn’t want to deal with it, she might withdraw when you try to interact with her and shut down when you ask her something she doesn’t want to answer.

Deception and guilt can easily lead to a breakdown in communication. Guilt and fear of getting caught can cause her to stonewall you and only talk to you when it’s absolutely necessary.

For example, when you say something she doesn’t want to talk about, she might pretend she didn’t hear you, ignore you, change the subject or leave the room.

When you try to talk to her about your problems, she might try to deflect it by being dismissive, by accusing you or turning the tables on you by talking about a different issue.

In Conclusion

photo of a couple in a fight

If you suspect that your wife or girlfriend is cheating on you, there’s probably a reason why you feel that way. Usually there are multiple signs that could indicate that something is going on, and you probably picked up on some of them.

However, short of walking in on her cheating on you, it’s almost impossible to be sure that what you’ve noticed are definite signs she sleeps around. Be sure before you accuse her and end up breaking up if you’re wrong.Still, if you’ve noticed many of these signs, something is definitely going on. Even if she’s not cheating on you, you should probably look into your relationship and talk to her.

14 Signs She Sleeps Around: How To Spot A Cheater Pinterest

20 Warning Signs Your Wife Is Cheating On You

Saturday 26th of November 2022

[…] The truth is that women are also really good at hiding clues and signs of their infidelity (even better than the majority of men) and that is why it is so hard to know for sure whether or not she is guilty of cheating. […]

28 Obvious Signs Of A Cheating Girlfriend & The Best Ways To Handle It

Saturday 26th of November 2022

[…] say you ask her what she was thinking of doing after work. An innocent question, right? To her (if she’s cheating), it feels like an interrogation into her whereabouts and she’s not having […]