Have you noticed some signs of emotional manipulation in your romantic relationship? Are you afraid the woman you’re dating is playing and using you?
Here are the 20 signs of a manipulative woman that will confirm whether your doubts are true or not. If you recognize most of these red flags, then you know what you need to do.
Staying in a manipulative relationship and hoping your partner will change is like trying to hurt yourself on purpose. Sooner or later, you’ll need to come to terms with the truth, and the more you wait, the bigger your pain will be afterward.
20 Surefire Signs Of A Manipulative Woman
To get to work, here are the most obvious red flags and signs of a manipulative woman:
1. She has so many traits of a narcissist
Maybe you didn’t notice it when you first started dating, but the more time you spend with her, the more narcissistic traits you realize she has.
She always needs to be right, she must be in the spotlight, and the whole world needs to revolve around her, her and her only.
The truth is, almost every manipulative person is actually a narcissist because they’re using another person just to fulfill their needs. It’s what a narcissistic person would do.
2. The beginning of your relationship was love bombing
At the beginning of your relationship, everything was so perfect, and you still can’t believe that you’re dating someone prone to manipulative behavior. She was so into you and tried very hard to win you over.
Now, when you look at it, you realize that it was just love bombing. It was never true love. She just wanted to make you fall in love with her, and that’s when her game of manipulation started.
3. She tries to completely ruin your self-esteem
Your self-confidence is the first thing a manipulative woman will attack. She knows that men with low self-esteem are the easiest prey to manipulate.
She wants you to have a bad self-image so it’ll be easier for her to make you think that you need her, not the other way around. And the more you allow her to do this, the more she’ll use it until she completely destroys your self-esteem.
4. She gaslights you very often
When someone humiliates, disrespects, and guilt-trips you all the time, it’s obvious that they’re actually trying to gaslight you. In other words, they want to manipulate you into thinking that you’re going crazy.
You’ll doubt your own sanity, and she’ll see it as an opportunity to make herself look like your “savior.” That way, you’ll be grateful to her, and she’ll use it to keep using you as it benefits her.
5. She gives you the silent treatment for no reason
When someone goes no contact with you, it’s mostly because they have a good reason for it. Maybe you did something bad to them, or they’ve found out that you were badmouthing them or something similar.
However, when someone gives you the silent treatment without providing any explanation for it, it’s probably because they’re using it as a manipulation tactic. They want to make you do something that is convenient for them.
6. Belittling has become the new normal for you
Belittling is also a form of emotional abuse. You know that it hurts someone who has strong feelings for you, and you’re belittling them on purpose because you actually want to hurt them on purpose.
In the beginning, you weren’t okay with it, of course. But with time, you learned to cope with it and accepted it as a ‘normal’ part of your relationship.
7. Sudden emotional outbursts are her fav manipulation tactic
Okay, most women have mood swings, and we all have emotional outbursts sometimes. However, if your partner has really gone too far with those outbursts, it’s a clear sign they’re using it as a manipulation tactic.
And it’s mostly when they run out of words to talk about or arguments to defend themself that they use those emotional outbursts to get what they want.
It’s because they know you care about them and don’t want them to endanger their well-being.
8. She’s so used to playing the victim card
No matter how your fights start and finish, somehow, she always manages to look like the victim.
Even though she started the whole thing, and you were convinced that you’re right, she became so good at playing the victim that she manages to convince you that you’ve made a mistake.
And it’s actually like everyone around you sees her, especially those who are aware that your relationship is abusive. She is a victim in their eyes, and she’ll continue to be as long as you don’t show them the real picture of your relationship.
9. You’re so sick of her mind games
You realized a while ago that she’s playing mind games with you, but you don’t know how to put an end to it. It really bothered you before, but you kept telling yourself that it’s not true and that you’ve been imagining it all.
However, you’re now aware that it’s true, and you’ve finally had enough of it. Trust me, it’s high time to put an end to it and show her that she can’t play with you as she likes because you can be a player too.
10. She guilt-trips you every time after a fight
Sarah Ruggera, LMFT, says: “Emotional manipulators turn your statements around and make you the problem.” And if it seems like she’s a pro at blame-shifting, it’s one of the most obvious signs of a manipulative woman.
She does it mostly because she wants you to feel bad about it and apologize for something you didn’t do. She’ll never accept her part of the blame, and you’ll always be the one to blame for every single fight and disagreement you’ll have.
11. Emotional blackmails are her weapon to get what she wants every single time
Whenever you don’t do something she wants you to do, she starts blackmailing you emotionally. She tells you it’s a sign you don’t care about her as much as you say you do, or she starts crying just to make you regret your actions.
If you love her, it’s most likely that you’ll fall for her emotional blackmails. You will do whatever it takes just to make her happy and emotionally pleased.
12. But, she also uses psychological manipulation
She’s your romantic partner, and she knows that the best type of manipulation to use on you is emotional. However, she’ll also try to manipulate you psychologically, making you look bad in your own skin.
She’ll try to harm your self-confidence because it will make it easier for her to manipulate you. You’ll constantly seek validation from her, and she’ll use it to benefit her.
13. She doesn’t care that much about your well-being
The truth is, if she did, she would never do this to you. Every single one of us knows how much it hurts when someone you love plays with you, and it’s definitely not something you would do to someone you care about.
And when you say you don’t feel well and expect her to take care of you, she ignores you and disappears. After all, you need to understand that she’s only there when it’s convenient for her or when she needs something from you.
14. Her passive-aggressiveness is intolerable
Whenever she’s angry at you, she doesn’t show it directly. Instead, she is stubborn and refuses to do things you ask her to do.
It’s like she’s under protest just to make you realize that she’s angry at you. She expresses all of those negative feelings by giving you the silent treatment or by being sarcastic.
15. However, she’s always overly nice to you around other people
Do you know why that is? Well, she behaves so nicely around others only to create an ‘alibi’ for herself if you ever accuse her of being a manipulative person.
Others have never seen any trace of her manipulative behavior, and, of course, they won’t believe you.
You need to understand that whatever she does, she does it with an intention. There are no coincidences in her actions because she plans everything in advance.
16. All of this affects your emotional and mental health as well
And it’s really no wonder why. When someone you love plays with you, it needs to leave serious consequences on your emotional well-being. It leaves you with serious trust issues and doubts about whether true love really exists.
It also leaves marks on your mental health because it lowers your self-esteem. You start thinking less of yourself and blaming yourself for everything that happened and is still happening.
17. You’ve noticed that she’s manipulative with her loved ones too
The surprising thing is that you also noticed that you aren’t the only person who’s fallen for her manipulation. Her best friends and family members have also been manipulated by her on various occasions.
Then, my friend, I need to tell you that you’re dealing with a serial manipulator here.
When she’s able to use all those people she loves, just think what she can do to those she doesn’t care about at all.
18. She threatens you with a breakup so often
This is also a form of manipulation. She’s aware of your feelings for her, and she uses them to scare you. She also knows that losing her is one of your greatest fears, so she uses it to make you do things she wants you to do.
This is a perfect example of emotional manipulation. You’ll do anything just to keep her by your side, and that (unfortunately) means you’ll accept her manipulation.
19. She makes you feel as if you’re the worst partner ever
Even though the truth is far from that. Even though the truth is that she is, she’s the bad one in your relationship.
However, she knows that if she manages to make you believe this, you’ll do whatever is needed to show her that it’s not true. You’ll shower her with love and affection 24/7, and that’s actually what she wanted from you.
20. You know very well it’s not a healthy relationship
You’re aware of it. Especially now that you’ve convinced yourself that she’s manipulating you. And I know that despite it all, you still can’t find the courage to let her go.
How can you let go of someone you love deeply? When and how will you stop loving that person?
Unfortunately, I can’t give you the right answer to these questions. All I can say is that no one can guarantee that you’ll stop loving her immediately. But I promise you will one day.
You will meet someone who really deserves you, and that’s when you’ll understand why things happened this way.
See also: 10 Manipulative Sentences: Phrases To Keep An Eye Out For
How Do You Deal With A Manipulative Woman?
Now that you’ve learned how to spot a manipulative woman, it’s time to learn how to deal with her. Here are 7 ways to help you cope with a manipulative partner.
1. Face and confront her
When you’re in an intimate relationship with someone, and you have strong feelings for that person, it’s difficult to understand and realize when you’re being used by that same person.
You love them and would never do anything to hurt them, and you think they think the same about you. However, we aren’t all the same. Even if it means losing her, you need to face her and tell her that you’ve had enough of her manipulative behavior.
I know you love her, and you’re afraid that you might lose her, but if you don’t stand up for yourself, you might lose yourself forever. And that’s the worst thing someone can allow themselves to do.
2. Gather as much strength as you need to resist her emotional manipulation
Even if you realize that you’re being manipulated by the person you love, you don’t have enough strength to resist them. You think you’re weak because they’ve managed to trick you in that way.
However, you need to do it. You need to believe in yourself and your strength. Just because they used you once doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you were blinded by your love and couldn’t see the real truth.
Now, you need to stand up and fight for yourself. Leave your feelings aside and put an end to their emotional manipulation. Let them know that no one can play with you.
3. Set boundaries once and for all
The fact is, no one can manipulate you if you don’t allow them to. Those who don’t have clear personal boundaries are always the easiest prey for manipulative people.
If you don’t set boundaries, if you don’t stand up for yourself, she will continue to manipulate and use you in a way that benefits her. If you don’t try to resist her, she’ll see it as a green light to continue with her manipulative tactics.
4. Don’t allow her to use your feelings
Just because you love someone doesn’t give them the right to play with your feelings. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should allow them to use you how they want.
You don’t have to be with someone at any cost. Sometimes, it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person who may only hurt you and leave you.
5. Don’t allow this to make you think less of yourself
You’re just a human being, a vulnerable man who has fallen in love with a woman. Don’t think that makes you look stupid, no matter how things ended.
You aren’t guilty because someone else was playing with your feelings. You were honest the whole time, and you should be proud of yourself. And on the other hand, let them face karma because it will get them one day.
You’re an incredible man who ran into the wrong woman. However, we all need to go through situations like this just to learn a lesson.
One day, you’ll meet the right one, a woman whose only priority will be making you happy – a woman who will love you more than you’ll love her.
6. If she doesn’t want to change, you need to leave that toxic relationship
If you have feelings for her, you should give her another chance, especially if she tries to prove to you that she really deserves that chance.
However, if you see that she doesn’t put any effort into making things work, if she continues with her emotional manipulation, you have one choice and one choice only… To turn your back on her and walk away FOREVER.
It’s the only way to save yourself from any further hurt. Truthfully, it’s unlikely a manipulative person will change, and waiting for something you’re aware will never happen will only break your heart little by little.
7. Don’t be afraid to seek help
If you need advice on what to do or simply need someone to share your sorrows with, don’t be afraid to speak to someone outside of your relationship. Talk to your best friend and let them be your confidant or a shoulder to cry on.
If your partner becomes too aggressive, and if you feel at any moment that you’re in danger, please call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Remember, no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship.
If your partner uses emotional manipulation and it starts affecting your emotional and mental health, visit an expert to help you deal with it.
No matter what you do, don’t ever keep those things and your negative feelings to yourself. In this case, sharing is indeed caring!
What Are Manipulators Afraid Of?
Manipulative people aren’t as cold and strong as most of us think. They also have their fears and insecurities. They also have imperfections like we all do, but they hide them much better.
Revealing their vulnerabilities is the biggest fear of almost every person with manipulative behavior. It’s like they think it would make other people think less of them, which would, in a way, take away their power to manipulate others.
Also, other people’s vulnerabilities are their greatest tool when it comes to manipulating others, so they believe that revealing their weaknesses will make them easy prey for others to manipulate.
To Conclude
Those were all the red flags and signs of a manipulative woman. I really hope you will bypass a woman like this, but if you do ever get involved in a manipulative relationship, now you know how to cope with it.
And if you’ve just found out that your better half is manipulating you, all I can tell you is that I know how much it hurts. I know how much it hurts to find out that someone you sincerely love is only using you to get what they want.
I know your heart is broken right now, but you need to come to terms with the truth. You need to accept it and focus on moving on from that toxic relationship.