Are you having a hard time moving past the break-up? Are you missing your ex-boyfriend? Are you thinking about calling or texting him?
I know that being lonely can make you think about your ex and your past relationship. Sometimes, we even start thinking that we miss our ex-partner and actually, all we can think about is, “Should I call my ex?”
I know it’s hard because he was also your best friend and you thought that he was your soulmate and that you’d be together for the rest of your lives.
However, one thing you should know is that an ex is called an ex for a reason.
If you were meant to be together, you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place and if you are truly destined to be together, fate will eventually bring you together, no matter what.
Either way, you have nothing to worry about. Time will show whether or not he deserves your heart. Be patient and wait. Just because you miss him, it doesn’t mean that you need that man in your life.
YOU are the only person you deserve in your life. That’s why you have to be careful. You may lose yourself in chasing a man who never deserved you in the first place.
You have to be strong and let him go or you’ll be left with another heartbreak. Respect yourself enough to know when to walk away.
That toxic relationship was ruining your life and only you know how much he hurt you. Although you haven’t fully recovered yet, only you know how painful your healing process was.
The last thing you need now is to rekindle that relationship and give the man who almost destroyed your life another chance.
You shouldn’t send him text messages or call him. For a period of time, you have to shut down all communication you had with him. Long story short, you have to follow the no contact rule.
The no contact rule always works. It’s the only way you’ll make him understand how much he hurt you. Ignoring your ex will drive him crazy and it’ll make him regret losing you.
Never call or text your ex if…
1. You’re drunk
You’re angry at your ex for the way he treated you while you were in a relationship. After a few drinks, you finally get the courage to tell him everything you couldn’t tell when you broke up.
You want to give him a phone call and tell him that he was a jerk and that he lost the only girl who loved you no matter what.
I know that he deserves to hear that and that it would make you feel better at that moment. Still, you have to know one important thing.
Drunk-texting is the worst thing you can do. It is going to help you feel better at that moment and the next morning, once you have sobered up, you’ll instantly regret it.
2. You’re lonely
Many people are scared of being alone, especially after their long-term relationship has ended. It’s perfectly normal to feel that way but again, you need time to emotionally process it all.
For a good while, that man was a huge part of your life and you loved him with all your heart. Now that he has left, you’re left with a void, some emptiness inside you.
I know that last year everything was different, you were in love but things have changed and you have to accept it. Tell yourself: “Okay, we broke up, it’s over now, I have to let it go and finally move on.”
Don’t confuse that feeling of loneliness with wanting your ex-boyfriend back and missing him. It’s not the same and deep down, you know that.
3. You heard that he has a new girlfriend
Discovering that your ex has a new girlfriend or even worse, that he is back with his ex-girlfriend, can be very difficult for you, especially if you still have some feelings for him.
It can make you think that the break-up was a mistake because you think you’ll end up alone in the long-term. But trust me, it’s just a temporary feeling because that news surprised you.
You might even be jealous or angry at him because he was able to forget you and move on so quickly. Don’t immediately dial his phone number.
Cool down and work through those feelings before you do anything you’ll later regret.
4. Your mutual friends said that he misses you too
Don’t fall for that right away because it might be one of his games and tactics to get you to call him first.
It’s not probably the first time that he has played games with you.
He may say to your mutual friends that the break-up was a mistake and that he misses you or that he can’t live without you but he is doing that because he knows that they’ll tell you and that you’ll believe them.
However, think about it. If he truly can’t live without you, why can’t he call you or ask you to meet up and tell you that in person?
Maybe his stubborn pride is important to him and that’s why he doesn’t want to text first, maybe he is afraid of your reaction, but either way, he doesn’t deserve you.
Should I call my ex?
We are all human beings and we all make mistakes. That’s why we should all be able to forgive others for their mistakes. I firmly believe that every person deserves a second chance, maybe sometimes even a third one.
A man who truly loves you will make the most out of a second chance, doing everything he can to prove to you that you did the right thing by giving him another chance. But that’s it.
You shouldn’t give him endless chances because he doesn’t deserve them at all. If he doesn’t take the second chance seriously, that means that he doesn’t care whether or not you’ll be together.
However, if you are thinking that you’ll text your ex, here are some questions you must ask yourself before you do that. They might help you to decide if that’s a good idea.
1. How did you two actually hook up?
The way you started the relationship is important. If you two hooked up at some party (probably drunk), your relationship was doomed to fail from the bare beginning.
If you have met on Facebook or some other social media and then agreed to meet up in person and after a while decided to start dating, you shouldn’t send him a text because he is probably chatting with some other girls right now.
If you were friends before you hooked up and you want to stay friends with him after the break-up, you can always send him a text and ask him how he is doing.
2. Why did you break up?
Cheating, lying, abusive behavior and a lack of support are truly some of the most unforgivable reasons for a break-up and if one of those is your case, you shouldn’t text your ex, no matter how much you miss him.
Nevertheless, if you broke up because of some stupid little fight, it’s probably a good idea to call your ex (especially if the fight was your fault).
3. When was the last time he said that he loved you?
This is truly important. Try to remember when the last time was that he said he loved you or cared deeply for you. How did he behave after that? Did his actions follow his words?
Think carefully about it and then decide whether you should call him or not.
4. Do you still love him like the first day?
Before you do anything, you have to ask yourself whether what you feel is love or something you feel out of habit.
Maybe you can’t accept the idea of the break-up just because you got used to that person and that’s why it’s hard for you to let go.
5. Were you much happier in the relationship with him or now?
Think about the time you spent in the relationship with him. Think about all those times he surprised you and made you happy.
Think about all those times he hurt you and all the nights you couldn’t sleep because you had a fight.
Now, say honestly whether you’re happier now that you’re alone or while you were dating him.
6. Are you thinking about starting a new relationship with someone else?
If you have met someone new and you start thinking that maybe you could start a new relationship with that man, that means that you’re ready to move on and that you shouldn’t text your ex and give him hope that you’re thinking about getting back together.
If he deleted all of your photographs on his social media, it means that he ended things with you for real this time and that he is ready for a new beginning.
Accept his decision and don’t bother him by sending him a text that you’re missing him. It’ll only make you look desperate.
8. Is this your first break-up?
If this is the first time you broke up, then you’ll probably reconcile because first fights and break-ups are almost always misunderstandings.
Also, if this is your first fight, you have to give him a second chance and start from the beginning again.
9. How much time has passed since the break-up?
Don’t call him right after you’ve broken up. Give him and yourself some time. Think about the reason for your break-up.
There is no need to hurry. If he loves you, he’ll also give you some space and he’ll wait for you.
10. Are you sure you can forgive him and forget that he hurt you?
If you are going to reconcile with him, you must be ready to do so because otherwise you’ll only make things worse.
You’ll mention his mistakes all the time and that’s how you’ll make him break up with you again but this time, it’ll be for good.
If you want to text him that you’ve forgiven him, then you must also be ready to forget what happened and leave it in the past.
11. Are you sure you’re thinking rationally?
I know it’s hard and you are missing him like crazy but you shouldn’t let your emotions control you. You have to think rationally about giving him a second chance.
If you let your emotions decide for you, you might get heartbroken again.
What to do instead of calling your ex-boyfriend
Here are some things that you can do once you start thinking about how to get your ex back. Open your world to new possibilities.
Leave your phone alone
If you’re thinking about texting your ex, put your phone away for at least a day. Ask your friend to organize a little intervention for you every time you start thinking about it.
Let her take your phone and tell her that no matter what, she must not give it to you for at least a day.
Also tell your siblings that they must not give you their phones if you ask them. That’s the only way you’ll be sure that you won’t call or text him.
You know how people say out of sight, out of mind? That’s why the no contact rule is so awesome. Looking at his photos and posts on Facebook or Instagram won’t bring you any good.
Block him on all of your social media accounts. Close that door. Also, delete his phone number. In fact, delete all your texts and phone call history so you can’t find his number in your phone at all.
Get rid of the photos you have with your ex
You broke up and you have to deal with that fact. Leave him where he belongs and that’s in the past.
Deleting his photos is the first step to do that. Keeping photos of your ex-boyfriend is a bad idea because looking at them over and over can make you miss him even more.
It can also make you do the worst thing and that would be to text your ex that you’re missing him and that you want to get back together.
Go out with your friends
Don’t look at your phone all day hoping that he’ll send you a text because that text will never come. Go out and have fun. Enjoy being with your friends. Do the things you like. Stop thinking about him.
You have to rebuild your self-esteem and heal from the heartache of the break-up and your friends are the only people who can help you with that.
They’ll do everything they can to make you feel better and hanging out with them will make you forget that you wanted to send your ex a text in the first place.
Focus on your job or education
Focusing on your everyday tasks and obligations will help you to forget about him and the break-up for a while.
Work is always the best distraction to cope up with the heartache after a break-up. Focus on your career. Work on your dreams and goals.
You have to be fully engaged at work and work hard to become successful and prove to your ex what he lost. Success is always the best revenge.
Work on yourself
Ending a relationship is hard for everyone and it can be especially hard on your self-worth and it can leave you with lower self-esteem.
That’s why you should be especially careful after a break-up and give yourself enough time to heal.
If you aren’t aware of your worth, you’ll think that you aren’t good enough and that you will never again find a man who will love you.
You have to boost your self-confidence and understand your personal value. You have to learn that some things were meant to happen and that it wasn’t your fault.
You have to know that it’s his loss because he was the one who lost a person who loved him more than she loved herself.
To wrap up
You have to know that no matter how painful missing your ex is, you aren’t alone. Many other people are also having a hard time after a break-up.
Life is a journey and you shouldn’t focus too much on only one part of it. “Should I call my ex?” is a dilemma but in order to move on with your life properly, you have to decide whether it’s a good thing or not and give it closure.
Sure, you have some unfinished business with your ex but trust me, the best decision you can make is to leave him in the past. It’s what he truly deserves.