I always wondered why some women have the necessity to send those long texts to men. It seems pointless.
They would either get ignored or get a reply that was short and even more frustrating. I wondered before I sent one myself.
I don’t know what came over me. I just sat down and started writing:
‘I am not a coward you know, I would tell you all of this in person but you left me no other choice.
You left without an explanation or a proper goodbye. Did I really deserve to be treated like that?
I can’t believe that someone capable of having so much emotion could be so heartless at the same time.
You knew that this would break me. Goodbyes are always hard but when everything is left unexplained, they are even harder.
I guess you never appreciated me enough to treat me right, not even in the end.
I know I was a fool for falling for you in the first place. I thought I saw something in you that nobody else could.
Heck, I still think there is some good deep down inside of you. Too bad it still hasn’t come out.
I did my best to understand when you were beyond understanding.
When you wouldn’t call or text for days, when you didn’t find time for me, when you said something hurtful.
You didn’t even have to make up excuses, I would make them for you. I would always think about the best possible scenarios before thinking of the worst.
I think I was even too good. That’s why you took me for granted. You relied on me to be there for you, no matter what you did.
To listen, understand and support. To wait. And it seems now like all I did with you was wait for the right time, for you to be ready, for you to treat me better with everything.
And the sad truth is that if you hadn’t left me, I would still be waiting.
That’s why I am writing this to thank you for leaving the way you did. If you hadn’t, I would still be waiting in vain.
This way, you gave me a chance to see I can stand alone. That I even feel better and more peaceful now that you are no longer in my life.
So thank you and goodbye forever. I wrote this all in one breath and I felt like I was going to faint after hitting that send button.
I had no idea that I would send this text before I sent it. I never thought about it before.
It was just a moment in time where you do something foolish and irrational.
But I felt such ease after sending it. It relieved my broken soul after writing everything that burdened it.
I felt better for saying all those things I held inside. I felt like the weight of my heart was lifted.
When I finally realized what I had done, I panicked for a bit. I wondered what he would think of me. Would he think I was weak for sending this?
Would he think I was trying to get him back? And it hit me, I really shouldn’t care what he or anyone else thinks of me.
I didn’t do it as some lame attempt to lure him back. I didn’t do it out of hatred or out of love.
I didn’t do it expecting a reply, which never came btw. I did this for me. To give myself closure. To say that final goodbye he didn’t have the courage to say.
