I know that you are scared. Actually, you are terrified of meeting new people and of letting anyone in.
It’s not just that you are scared of tearing down your walls and getting close to new people; your heart trembles at the mere thought of allowing someone to break it all over again.
And I get it because I was you. Everything you are feeling now has a deep background and very good reasons. And I felt all the same things.
The truth is that you’ve been hurt more times than you can count. Your soul has been shattered into pieces, you’ve been betrayed, humiliated and disappointed.
You gave your heart and your energy to some wrong people and all they did was use you in every possible way.
And after a while, you reached breaking point. You saw that you couldn’t continue living like that.
After the last heartbreak, you had enough and you saw that you needed to save yourself if you wanted to survive.
And at that moment, you thought that the only way of doing this was to become guarded.
You just wanted for all the pain to disappear and you thought you had to build a bulletproof vest around your scarred soul to keep out everyone who had the intention of hurting you. You thought that the only way to protect your heart was to start acting heartless.
All that you’ve been through left enormous consequences on you. It changed the essence of who you were as a person and it made you become bitter and sarcastic when it comes to love.
It made you lose your faith in love and it made you stop believing in people.
After everything you went through, now you are left convinced that everyone will treat you the same and that there doesn’t exist a man who deserves for you to open up to him and for you to love him.
With time, you embraced your single life. Your walls became your comfort zone and the armor around your heart became something you couldn’t imagine living without.
With time, you’ve mastered the art of putting a brave girl mask on your face. You caged your vulnerable heart because you thought it was the only way to protect yourself from going through another emotional breakdown.
Even though I completely understand everything you’re feeling right now, I have to tell you that you are wrong. Because this, what you are doing, won’t bring you any good.
Being guarded and closed will only cause you harm. You won’t affect the people who have hurt you and you won’t heal your broken heart.
What you will do is deprive yourself of the possibility of ever finding love. What you will do is miss out on the chance to meet someone who is worthy of your time, energy and efforts. What you will do is lose yourself.
And when that happens, everyone who has brought you to this point will win. It will mean that you have become just like them and that will be their biggest victory.
Don’t get me wrong—I don’t expect you to change your ways overnight because that would be impossible.
I know that opening your heart to someone new seems frightening after everything you’ve been through.
But please, at least try. Take baby steps and try going back to the person you were before you experienced all of these heartbreaks.
After all, you are way smarter now. Everything that has happened to you can and should serve as experiences and as valuable but tough lessons.
All of your failed relationships were there to teach you how to be stronger.
You know better now and your gut won’t allow you to repeat the same mistakes. You’ve had some toxic people in your life and trust me—you won’t let in anyone similar to them ever again.
I am not asking you to start believing in love this moment. I am just asking you to have faith in yourself and everything else will follow.
I am asking you to believe in your judgment-making skills and in your intuition. To have faith that destiny will send you someone who won’t be like those who have done you harm.
Because that man will come along when you least expect him to. He will heal all of your wounds and he will restore your faith in love.
And when he comes along, you’ll be happy that you didn’t miss out on him just because you were too scared of putting yourself out there.