Remember the girl I was before you came into my life? The girl I was before you destroyed me?
Remember how I believed in love? How I thought of it as this omnipotent force which could defeat everything that stood in its way and which could never be conquered, only if it was strong enough?
And most of all, do you remember how I thought you were the man I would have that kind of love with? The man who was destined to be mine?
Do you remember how I thought we were soulmates and that what we had was a once in a lifetime kind of thing? Do you remember how I was convinced that you were the one for me?
Well, guess what? After a lot of time and even more tears, I realized that you weren’t. I realized that you were never my forever person and that we were never meant to be.
For a while, even after you abandoned me, I really thought that I’d lost the love of my life. And I think that hurt more than the fact that you left.
Yes, I missed you but I was devastated by the thought that I would never find someone like you. By the thought that I’d lost my other half and that I would never love someone the way I loved you.
Once I realized that you were really gone for good, I was convinced that I’d lost the love of my life when I lost you. Despite all the pain you put me through, I still held on to the beautiful memories.
And I was still convinced that you were the best thing that could have ever happened to me. That I’d missed out on my chance of being happy and that I would spend the rest of my life miserable, crying over you and lamenting our relationship.
But then it hit me—you are not the one. And you never were.
Because if you were the one, you would’ve never walked away from me, when I needed you the most. You would’ve never left me and you would’ve never broken my heart.
If you were the one, you would have stayed by my side through all the bad days, through all the storms and through all the rough patches, just like you promised you would. But instead, you backed out on me and you left me all alone.
So, no, you were never the one for me. Instead, you were nothing more than a valuable and tough lesson I obviously had to learn.
Because if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t know that I could make it on my own. I wouldn’t know how powerful and strong I actually am and I wouldn’t know how much I can actually take.
If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have realized that love shouldn’t hurt. That someone who loves you will never do you any harm and will never break your heart.
I wouldn’t have found out that people can spend years next to you, hiding their true colors. That a man can swear he loves you one day and then crush you to pieces the very next.
If it wasn’t for everything you did to me, I wouldn’t have known how forgiving I actually am. I wouldn’t know the importance of letting go and I wouldn’t have learned how to move on with my life after someone turns it into a living hell.
If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have known that I won’t stay broken. That I can always put myself back together and that I don’t need anyone to help me do that.
I wouldn’t have known that I am a complete person without anyone else and that I don’t need a man to give my life meaning. I would never have put myself first and I would have never grown to love myself the way I did.
If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have known that there exists a better man than you, who will love me the way I deserve. I would’ve never opened my heart to true love because I would have always remained convinced that your way of loving was the best and the only one that existed. And I would spend the rest of my life settling for less, without even knowing it.
So, thank you for not being the one. And most of all—thank you for showing me this in time.
