Just like you can’t hear an earthquake on its way to make the ground shake, the same goes for when a woman is silent.
Just because she’s done talking, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have anything to say. Quite the contrary. A woman’s silence should never be perceived as a weakness.
In a way, the quietness holds more power than her words ever could. Her silence means that she has a message for you but it’s on you to decipher the meaning.
There are many possible interpretations of her silent treatment but is it a good idea to intervene? That’s entirely up to you to decide.
Just remember; when a woman is silent, all bets are off and there’s no telling what might happen next. Tune into the static and listen closely.
Below, I share some of the most common meanings behind a woman’s silence and 6 things to avoid at all costs if you want to come out the other end.
What A Woman’s Silence REALLY Means
She’s going through some heavy stuff
If she’s giving you the cold shoulder, don’t automatically take it personally. She might simply be going through the wringer.
Women are warriors and part of that means going through stuff without needing to share it. She probably has a lot on her mind and she doesn’t want to trouble you.
Give her time to get her ducks in a row. She’ll be ready for the next story but first, she has to handle the current one.
She needs a break from you
Don’t take this the wrong way but a girl simply needs a break sometimes. It doesn’t mean she wants to break up or that she doesn’t love you anymore; she is simply in desperate need of alone time.
Don’t badger her with countless text messages or keep DM-ing her on social media.
Give her some space and she’ll come back to you when she’s ready. Let her have her peace, figure stuff out and come back in full force.
See also: How To Become An Alpha Woman (A Step By Step Guide)
She’s chosen to take the high road
She’s mad at you but she’s not letting her emotions get the better of her. You lucky son of a gun. You really dodged a bullet here.
She could be doing some real harm to you (not physically of course) right now but instead, she chose the high road. That says a lot about her.
She won’t stoop to your level no matter how much she wants to. She knows who’s worth her time and who isn’t.
She’s done with your BS for good
She’s just DONE. She can’t take the heated arguments, the emotional abuse or your disconnectedness any longer.
You know better than anyone what you’ve done. She’s probably been seeing through all your red flags for a while but now, it’s over.
When the other person chooses the silent treatment over working on it any longer, you know you really blew it.
She needs you but doesn’t know how to articulate it
Sometimes, you need to learn to read between the lines. If she’s not really big on words, you must pick up on her emotions.
Recognize when she deeply needs you, even if she’s not saying it. We need to be more considerate of our loved ones’ silences.
If she gets up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, join her and talk to her. Let her know she’s not alone, no matter the late hour.
She’s overthinking
I’ll be the first to admit that I can really get in my head sometimes. The tiniest inconvenience could happen and I’d find five possible negative interpretations.
And that’s what might be going on with your girl.
It might not have anything to do with you; she’s just in her head way too much.
Overthinking can seem like the end is nigh but just give her a bit of time to collect her thoughts. She’ll probably be just fine.
She is trying hard to stay strong
Women are often too strong for too long and you won’t even see how much she’s struggling on the inside because she hides it so well.
However, sometimes, it takes a huge toll on a person. When a woman is silent, that’s when she might actually need you the most.
The only question is can you tune into her emotional side and recognize her needs? (Hint: she needs YOU to take some of the burdens off her.)
She wants to deal with stuff on her own
Women are extremely self-sufficient and sometimes, her silence means that she simply wants it to remain that way.
Yes, she’s going through something but she’s fine dealing with it on her own. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate your help.
It simply means that this one, she can handle all by herself. And guess what? She is perfectly within her rights to do so!
See also: Why It’s Important To Be Who You Needed When You Were Younger
She’s in the middle of a healing process
If you’ve recently gone through something as a couple, this silence might be a reflection of that. She still isn’t fully okay but she will be.
Everyone needs time to heal and you can’t rush her to feel a certain way. She’ll get there when she gets there.
You don’t have to intervene. Just like you need time to figure stuff out, so does she. The silent treatment is her way of getting through to the other side of things.
She’s trying to figure out her next step
She’s not sure where you stand or whether she wants to stay with you (or perhaps she’s testing you). Again, her silent treatment is likely the result of recent events.
If she’s silent, that’s because she doesn’t want to speak prematurely. She’ll let you know about her final decision once she figures it out.
In a way, this is the best thing you could hope for. She’s willing to let things cool down before she makes any huge decisions.
She’s reached a dead-end communication-wise
She doesn’t know how to reach you anymore. She keeps trying to find a middle ground and communicate her feelings but to no avail.
It’s not that she wants things to just end; she has simply reached a dead end. The ball is in your court now. It’s time to show her what you’re made of or you’re going to watch her leave very soon.
She’s tired of her efforts going to waste
There’s nothing she hasn’t tried. She has tried meeting you halfway, pleading with you, caving in on some of her fundamental needs but it all just goes to waste.
At a certain point, a person simply gets tired of trying too hard for someone who doesn’t care.
You made her be this way. Think about it. How much have you actually put into your relationship? Can you do better for the sake of salvaging your union?
She’s doing her own thing and is simply busy
Women juggle much more than men do; it’s true, don’t even deny it. I bet she handles the majority of the stuff around the house, the chores, kids (if you have any), work and meals.
And what do you do? Say thank you and go off with your buddies? The least you can do is respect her silence because trust me, there’s a LOT she could say to you.
But no. She does everything with zero complaints and tries so hard to please you. Isn’t it time to step the hell up and stop complaining?
See also: 30-Day Self-Love Challenge: Become The Best Version Of Yourself
6 Things NOT To Do When A Woman Is Silent
Now that I’ve covered the basics regarding her silence, it’s important that you know how to behave. Avoid doing these 6 things if you ever want to make it right with her again.
Don’t respond with anger or resentment
This can only escalate things so avoid it at all costs. She doesn’t deserve your anger and you know it so don’t blow things by being an ass.
Listen, observe, read between the lines and make an effort to figure her out. She’s not an enigma, she just needs a man who’ll actually give a damn about her.
Being angry without attempting to resolve things brings you one step closer to ending things. You need to learn to decipher her silent treatments.
Don’t start threatening to break things off
Your threats will be futile because it’s the most childish way to react. Instead, why not try to see her point of view?
Or are you that much of a narcissist that you can’t accept that you’re flawed? Put yourself in her shoes, think really hard about what brought you here and wait until the next day to react.
Sometimes, she just needs time. If she doesn’t initiate a conversation anytime soon, it’s time to gently and kindly start talking.
Don’t EVER give her ultimatums
The only thing an ultimatum will bring you closer to is an imminent end of your relationship. When have you ever heard of an ultimatum that ended well?
In intimate relationships, it’s all about communication, understanding and compromise. When you encounter the silent treatment, your best bet is to think about the possible reasons.
I’m pretty sure you can come up with a few reasons why she’s hesitant to talk.
Don’t beg her to talk to you
She’ll communicate when she’s ready but it has to be on her terms so don’t send her an extremely long message begging her to talk as it’ll be seen as disrespectful and rude.
She clearly isn’t ready right now. Use her silent treatment as an opportunity to try and be better.
Do stuff around the house, take over some of her chores and just be there. It’s precisely these things that might change her mind.
Don’t take her behavior personally (it takes two to tango)
This may have been partially your fault but it’s never just on you. It takes two to tango, haven’t you heard?
So whatever is going on, it’s going to take an effort on both parts to resolve it. Issues don’t just appear out of the blue; two people have to contribute to them.
Once you notice that she might be ready to start talking, offer to talk things through, fully prepared to take your part of the blame.
Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it
What’s worse than a fake apology? Plus a woman has a sixth sense for these things; she’ll sense the BS from miles away so always be genuine if you’re saying sorry.
If you’re not, it’s always going to worsen things. Without honesty or transparency, what do you really have? She will never in a million years be okay with something so fake.
IF you’re guilty, then it’s okay to say why you’re sorry for handling things poorly but if you feel it’s on both of you, work it out as a team!
See also: 10 Brilliant Tips To Live For Yourself And Stop Pleasing Others
The Bottom Line
When a woman is silent, it’s a sign that a change is coming. As is evident from the above, you should never brush off a woman’s silence.
The key thing here is to know whether it has anything to do with your actions or if she’s simply dealing with her own stuff.
After pinpointing which it is, make sure not to engage in begging, threatening or fake apologies. Women always know when you’re full of it.
Intimate relationships are tricky and for people who hate silence, it can get rough weathering these storms. But I firmly believe that everything worth having is always worth fighting for.
So ask yourself this: Is your girl worth the fight? And there’s your answer.