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Female Led Relationship: How Strong Women Keep Control

Female Led Relationship: How Strong Women Keep Control

What is a female led relationship and how can you make it work? To these and many other questions, you’ll find the answers below.

Since the beginning of time, men craved to be the ones in charge to satisfy their egos. Well, it’s time for men to step aside and let women take the lead because the female led relationship era has begun.

Despite the fact they were always living in a man’s world, women made sure to mark their place in the history of powerful people – from ancient times and the amazing Hatshepsut, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, and Elizabeth I, to today’s powerful Indira Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, and Malala Yousafzai.

We lived to see women lead not only families but entire nations, so why not transfer this power to a type of relationship and make it a loving female-led relationship?

What Is The Meaning Of FLR?

FLR stands for Female Led Relationship. Even though there is no official definition of a female led relationship (FLR), the name itself gives several clues right from the outset.

This kind of relationship includes a dominant woman – a decision maker. Evidently, FLR requires men and women to abandon their traditional roles. 

If a man trusts her enough, he could experience a loving relationship in which he won’t have to be responsible for anything.

This strong woman is only one of many in the sea of powerful women who have decided to take control of her life by her own hands.

You’d be surprised how many men are comfortable with being a submissive male. If you don’t trust me, then listen to any female led relationship podcast and you’ll see for yourself.

What Does It Mean To Lead In A Relationship?

Being a leader in a female led relationship means finding ways to get through tough times, persevering, establishing balance and harmony in a relationship. Sometimes, it also means ending a relationship if that’s best for both partners.

Being a leader in such a relationship means taking an active role, making all the important decisions, and taking responsibility. It means actively dealing with problems and expressing feelings in a healthy way. 

The concept of female led relationship obedience is often misinterpreted. In a female-led relationship, there is no power struggle. There are no constant arguments in an attempt to prove that one person is more important than the other.

A man can see himself as a submissive man if he has to cook, clean up the house, or take care of the kids. But in a loving FLR, the female leads, which means the chores and responsibilities don’t have a gender stamp on it. 

FLR is not the same as feminism.

Equating FLR with feminism is the most common mistake people make when it comes to these types of relationships.

Regardless of what most think, the woman in an FLR relationship does not assume the role of a man. Female led relationship dynamics are healthy and balanced.

Although she is the female authority figure, she does not wear pants in the house. A woman in charge mustn’t lose her femininity while her dominance grows.

What needs to happen and what usually happens is the exact opposite. Her sexuality grows with her dominance.

In situations when feminism is avoided, men tend to purely enjoy being in this kind of happily ever after relationship. 

Why Women Want A Female Led Relationship?

Why would a woman want to be the dominant one in a relationship? I say: Well, why not?

Their wishes are quite obvious to detect. Who wouldn’t want to arrange their life to their liking without having to fight for what they want?

Women like FLR relationships because there is no tension, there is no power struggle, there are no more arguments about housework.

Most importantly, any woman would sign right now for the chance to form her man to her liking.

And the best of the whole situation is the man doesn’t mind being dominated. What’s more, he loves you better.

He gives you affection and love because you’re taking responsibility over the important things.

He doesn’t see it as being submissive, but rather not having to take initiative until the end, for the rest of his life.

Why Men Want A Female Led Relationship?

Although it might seem ridiculous that any man would want to be in a relationship where he’s dominated, some men genuinely enjoy being in an FLR.

At first, it’s puzzling why any man would want that kind of a relationship, but from a closer look, it makes perfect sense.

Letting the woman take charge in a relationship is not something every man is ready to do, but more and more give the power to their women.

It can be power in the bedroom, a certain aspect of the relationship, or completely taking over the entire relationship.

There is no more arguing, his life at home is much simpler and more relaxed, not to mention that sex life gets increasingly better with more kink. 

Types Of Female Led Relationship

Female led relationships can be categorized based on four different levels of intensity:

Low-level female control

Out of all levels of female led relationship, this is the mildest type of woman domination in FLR. The woman takes the lead only in a few life situations and she doesn’t feel quite comfortable doing it.

Usually, women in these situations never wanted to be in an FLR relationship, but the man proposed this brilliant idea, so they went for it.

The reason why a woman is not comfortable with such a relationship scheme is that this approach goes against her opinions about relationships.

However, she is willing to give it a try by letting her man take over some basic chores around the house. 

Dominance is not a side of her with which she agrees that well – she’s just not that type of a person.

It’s not likely she’s going to embrace dominance. She’s already struggling with what her man has asked her to do.

Regardless of what level the woman is on, it’s always possible for her to go to a higher level of dominance in the relationship. It’s not a rule, but it can happen.

Moderate-level female control

This is the moderate level of FLR. In this second type, the woman takes the lead in everyday matters, but she sets boundaries on what she wants and what she doesn’t want to do.

At first, the woman is not that eager to start such a relationship, but after getting a taste of what it feels like, she starts enjoying the benefits that FLR gives her.

These women won’t dare to take things too far because they sincerely think that a woman-dominated relationship will take their relationship in a different course – one that will lead their relationship into ruin.

The only reason she agreed to this “relationship experiment” is that she’s willing to explore and try new things. All within the boundaries of what she considers to be normal.

Defined control

This is a serious level of woman’s dominance in an FLR because the woman makes most decisions in this kind of relationship. 

Instead of following the old patriarchal system, the woman switches roles and takes the lead.  She assumes “male roles” as if they were meant for women. The man doesn’t mind this control switch at all.

This kind of relationship arrangement is not at all innocent. The woman allows herself to take control of almost every aspect of her man’s life as well.

She controls the finances, sex life, and pretty much his life overall. And yes, as a result, sex is freaky and kinkier.

Extreme control

This is an extreme level of woman’s dominance in the relationship. It’s the complete opposite of traditional relationships and it’s not that common, but it’s out there.  

This hardcore type of FLR relationship is characterized by the woman gaining total power over the man. She is the head of the household, the main breadwinner, and leads the family. 

She controls every aspect of their relationship and every little aspect of his life, where he plays the role of a servant. He must indulge her every wish and lead his life the way she orders it.

She has decision-making power within the relationship. She can help motivate her man to work on getting rid of any bad habits like excessive drinking by being authoritative. 

The biggest benefit of this type of female led relationship is the sex life. The kink gets crazier by the minute.

The level of freaky sex depends solely on the woman who is ultimately the dominant partner. It may vary from mild kinky sex to extreme BDSM situations.

How Do You Establish A Female-Led Relationship?

When it comes to establishing a female led relationship, the most important things to pay attention to are the following: open communication, transparency, and boundaries.

On the contrary to traditional relationships, female led relationships require lots of work and effort but, in the end, it’s TOTALLY worth it. 

Here are some essential guidelines you might choose to follow:

Be transparent and honest

What do you and your partner expect from your relationship? It’s important that you’re both honest about your intentions and goals.

You should always know how your partner is feeling and vice versa. By laying your cards on the table, you have higher chances of establishing a successful female-dominant relationship.

When adding some new things and rules into your relationship, always consult with each other beforehand. There’s no happiness without compromising regardless of the type of relationship you’re in. Keep that one in mind. 

Understand your roles

A female led relationship requires both women and men to abandon their traditional gender roles. Now that you have new roles, it’s important that you both understand and accept them.

Make sure that you’re both comfortable with your roles and setup. This means that a man needs to be willing to allow a woman to take on some level of control.

Women should be allowed to make more decisions and set more rules in such relationships, so it’s important that both partners understand that and they are willing to accept it.

Set boundaries

As with everything else, rules are also an important part of FLR. Depending on the level of FLR, partners might agree on letting the woman control the finances, her partner’s social life, and similar.

Every couple will establish their own boundaries and you cannot go wrong with it as long as you’re both okay with your roles and rules.

You can repeat the process of setting boundaries often, especially if you think that something needs to be changed in a relationship. 

Review frequently

Every relationship has its own ups and downs. This applies to FLR as well. That’s why it’s essential to review it frequently and adapt the rules if necessary.

Open and honest communication about your relationship will help you prevent possible complications and relationship problems. In the beginning, you can review your relationship every month and then every few months.

Don’t let other people influence your choices

Accept advice (when you think you should) but don’t let other people define your relationship. Don’t let others judge you for abandoning traditional roles or convince you that you’re doing something wrong.

Do what you think it’s best for you and as long as both of you are happy, there’s nothing you should worry about.

Don’t compromise love

Sometimes, couples start paying more attention to their roles in the relationship than their feelings for one another. FLR should not affect your love and passion for each other. 

Remember that love should not be compromised. It should always come first, so it’s important that you give each other enough space to express love and affection. 

Beware of abuse

If both partners don’t enjoy their roles and relationship rules, such a relationship can become abusive. This happens when one partner starts feeling like they are being non-consensually controlled. 

If both partners don’t make decisions together, one of them might start feeling manipulated by the other. Again, open communication is key to ensuring that both partners are heard and understood.

How To Create Balance In A Female Led Relationship? 

A strong woman should encourage her man to take more initiative and contribute to their relationship in his own manner.

Other than that, respect always plays an important role in any union between two people. If respect is not mutual, the relationship will very quickly turn into a disaster.

Most men will agree with the saying: If a woman is not happy, no one is happy. There is a lot of truth hidden behind these words.

And actually, it’s everything female led relationships are about. Essentially, it’s not about only having complete control. It’s about communication more than anything else.

If a man talks to his woman, he will understand more about her and what she wants. With mutual respect and communication, the relationship is set for success.

The Benefits Of A Female Led Relationship

Although opinions are divided when it comes to FLR and whether or not it is beneficial, here are 10 amazing reasons why female-led relationships just work:

Women are organized and efficient

Let’s admit it – women are more organized and efficient than men when it comes to working long hours and taking care of the home.

It’s not that we doubt men can do any of those things, it’s just there’s the possibility that they won’t do them well enough.

Naturally, women pay more attention to the details and feelings of other people, while men keep it simple and avoid any additional complications.

And when a woman organizes household chores between the partners, you can be sure that they will be equally divided between the two.

They’re fully aware of everything

Women are fully aware of everything – from what’s going on in their men’s heads to every part of the house.

When she’s in charge, you can be sure that she will do her best to keep everything together, even if it takes hours of talking and arguing.

She will get to the core of the problem and won’t stop until it’s solved.

Their multitasking is on point

There’s no denying that women are amazing and kick ass at multitasking.

Some women run their companies, take care of their homes, make sure that their kids are alive, AND still keep the spark in the bedroom going.

When it comes to men, they can only deal with one thing at a time. Giving the power to her is easier because she already has it. It just feels good if men admit it.

Better sex life

You’d be surprised to know how many men want to be the submissive one, especially in the bedroom.

When the woman is in charge, this will result in a spicier and happier sexual life for both partners.

She will get what she needs the way she needs it, and men get off on the fact that they’ve satisfied their woman.

No reading between the lines

When you take the guesswork out of everyday situations, things run smoothly and efficiently.

If partners in a female led relationship have a problem with each other, they are more likely to express it immediately and deal with it.

Relationships of this kind are more straightforward and open than traditional ones, simply because women understand the importance of communication more than men do.

Improved communication

Couples who are in an FLR relationship express their feelings better than others, which gives them a chance to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.

This is because they understand that mindless shouting or giving each other the silent treatment leads nowhere.

They understand the importance of communication and expressing themselves for their relationship to succeed.

Women are naturally more sensitive and aware of issues than men, which is amazing because you get to tackle the problem before it gets out of hand.

Once you get all the little things out of the way, all that’s left for you is to enjoy the smooth sailing.


In this kind of relationship, the man doesn’t hold all of the power, even if he earns more. Both partners are equal and this is gender equality at its finest. Needless to say that healthy relationships work best when there is equality.

There is a good distribution of power – it’s something both of them can enjoy and profit from – because it’s easier when two people are fighting for a relationship rather than only one.

Putting women in charge of certain aspects of the relationship, and even all of it, can only bring good things (as long as she doesn’t take advantage of her power).

No pressure

Once the female holds the reins, there’s much less pressure on a man to keep his lady happy.

As we already know, women are much better at handling multitasking, so putting her in charge allows the relationship to thrive and things to run more smoothly.

If she needs help, she won’t hesitate to ask for it. If she needs you to just hold her, she will have no shame about asking you to do so.

If she needs you to take charge for a week because she needs some time for herself, she will do it because she’s already made sure that you communicate and understand each other.

She already knows that you respect her for more than just her body and she knows that she can rely on you.

A higher sense of satisfaction

When everything runs smoothly, there is a higher sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

No one likes it when they get stuck in a relationship with no communication, no way of expressing emotions, and everything in chaos.

In the FLR relationship, there’s no worrying that things will get out of hand because women have a higher sense of responsibility when taking care of children and the household than men do.

So, there’s no doubt that she will do a great job in leading the relationship, too.

Learning experience

Whether you try a female-led relationship just for a while or completely change the dynamics of your relationship, there’s no doubt that it will be an enlightening experience for both of you.

Switching roles can help see both sides of a relationship and thus appreciate the efforts of the other one more.

Every relationship needs something to spice it up, to switch things up a bit.

So, what’s a better way to do that than by switching roles and giving your woman all the power? 

You’d both be surprised how empowering it is for both sides. But… It’s important to keep the balance.

Male Led Relationships vs Female Led Relationships

To help you understand relationship dynamics between male-led and female-led relationships, here are a few key points for each:

Male led relationship:

  • The man is the head of the household and the main breadwinner. The whole family depends on his income.
  • The man expresses love and care for his children to a certain extent but their mother has a deeper connection with children.
  • The man is at work every day which means that a woman is expected to do household chores and take care of their home.
  • The man is the ultimate authority figure of the household.

Female led relationship:

  • The man and the woman have equal work opportunities. The woman provides the same (or greater) income for the family.
  • Both the man and the woman participate in raising children and it is a shared (and sometimes) sole responsibility of the man. This depends on their mutual agreement.
  • Household chores are also a shared responsibility between the man and the woman or sole responsibility of the man. However, the man doesn’t feel ‘less masculine‘ or ‘manipulated’ for taking this role. Actually, he enjoys doing it.
  • The woman is the ultimate authority figure of the household in certain aspects or all of them (depending on the level of FLR). Also, the emphasis is on compromising and constant reviewing of their relationship dynamics. 

Some people may argue that FLR isn’t natural because traditional relationships are mainly male-led. The reason why this shift happened is that women today have more freedom and opportunity to express themselves than they had before.

We could say that nothing is unnatural here because the modern shift was inevitable. Instead of seeing it as weird or unnatural, we should embrace the breaking down of traditional gender roles in every aspect of it, including relationships. 

Female Led Relationship Quotes

1. “A female led relationship is the one in which you’re either a woman willing to lead or you’re the man surrendering yourself to be led.” – Unknown

2. “I can’t promise you a perfect relationship, but what I can promise you is that as long as we’re trying, I’m staying.”  – Unknown

3. “A truly submissive man caves in to the demands of his dominant female and relishes the feeling of being controlled.”  – Unknown

4. “Female supremacy is the natural order of life.”  – Unknown

5. “Woman is the dominant sex. Men have to do all sorts of stuff to prove that they are worthy of a woman’s attention.” – Camille Paglia

6. “There’s over 100 species of lemurs. Each is a little bit different in their social structure except for one thing: they are all female dominant. The females are the leaders. They are the ones that call the shots. When you watch a group, you can see the females are the first one to say ‘We’re going to move.’ Then she moves off and everybody just follows.” – Patricia Wright

7. “I don’t want other people to decide what I am, I want to decide that for myself.” – Emma Watson

8. “A strong man can handle a strong woman. A weak man will say she has an attitude.” – Unknown

9. “A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.” – Diane Mariechild

10. “I would rather struggle and work hard for everything I have than have someone tell me ‘You wouldn’t have that if it wasn’t for me.'” – Unknown

11. “I do not wish them (women) to have power over men but over themselves”. – Mary Wollstonecraft

12. “We need not just a new generation of leadership but a new gender of leadership”. – William J Clinton

13. “Boss ladies kick ass. We damn sure don’t kiss it.” – Unknown

14. “There’s nothing more powerful than a woman determined to succeed.” – Unknown

15. “I set myself up so that anybody in my life is wanted. Not needed.” – Unknown

The Bottom Line

A female led relationship includes a dominant woman who is the main decision-maker. If both the man and the woman are ready to abandon their traditional roles, their relationship has a great chance to succeed. 

Regardless of the type of relationship you’re in (lower level or extreme level), balance is always more than welcome. No relationship can function to succeed in the long run if only one person makes decisions for both partners.

Type 1 of FLR is too mild and Type 4 is too harsh. If you and your partner find yourselves somewhere in the middle, your relationship will reach a new level in no time.

Also, if you’re in this type of relationship for the first time, wish you the best of luck!

  1. Gary says:

    Hi Tatiana
    Loverly to speak
    I love the whole F L R seniority it really is my choice
    Do you think men must be punished (spanked etc ) to be
    Complete in this new role it is mine I just welcome a second opinion
    Kind regards Gary