If you’re looking for signs a married man is in love with you, tips on how to deal with a married guy flirting with you, and all the possible outcomes of such romance, then you’re just in the right place!
If it ever crossed your mind that a married guy is in love with you but you shook off that feeling, I will just tell you that you were probably right.
Sometimes married men are interested in finding someone for fun only. Sometimes they are not happy in their married life or maybe they are going through a midlife crisis.
Married men who fall in love with someone else are often stigmatized in the following way: Those men will use all means necessary to get into your pants and when they get what they want, they will just leave.
DISCLAIMER: Married women can fall in love with other men, too.
Not every married guy who falls in love with you has ulterior motives. Sometimes they happen to genuinely fall in love with someone else because this is a part of their journey called LIFE.
No woman wants to be ‘the other woman’ and you shouldn’t accept to be one as well, of course, if you don’t feel comfortable being one.
But if a married guy shows that he’s willing to leave his wife for you and compromise, then this is a different story.
If he truly wants to be with you and if all those romantic stories about being with you are real, tell him to show what his real intentions are.
Tell him that you are not someone who falls for sweet words only, but that he needs to prove his love for you with actions.
Anyway, if you are not quite sure that a married man is in love with you, I suggest you check these sure signs to find out what is going on inside his head.
Clear Signs A Married Man Is In Love With You
He looks at you differently
If you are wondering if he is in love with you and if he wishes to have an extramarital affair with you, the first thing you should pay attention to is the way he looks at you.
This guy probably won’t have the courage to confess his feelings for you in the beginning but he won’t be able to control how he looks at you when he is around you.
When you enter the room and when he sees you, you’ll see it in his eyes that his day has just become a lot better.
If this man is in love with you, he will probably look you deep in the eyes, trying to read something from your look.
He acts like he hides his feelings for you but deep down, he hopes you’ll figure things out for yourself. And when he looks at you, he wants to see your reaction.
He is looking for any sign that you feel the same way about him. Besides, you will catch this guy staring at you more than once. He is simply enchanted by you and he can’t get enough of you.
Another possibility is that this man will always look away whenever the two of you make prolonged eye contact.
If this is the case, it is obvious that he doesn’t want you to know about his feelings and that he is running away from them as well.
He’s going out of his way to see you
One of the biggest signs of a married man in love with you is him going out of his way to see you. So, instead of spending time with his wife, he will use every opportunity to hang out with you.
He might even lie to his wife that he’s going to hang out with his friends or that he needs to stay late at work (classic movie example).
Of course, you cannot know whether he’s lying to his wife or not, but you might assume it somehow. If this man really loves you, he will do everything in his power to spend time with you as much as possible.
No matter how tired he is and no matter what is going on in his life at the moment, he will find a way to make things function aka to continue seeing you. Why?
Because you’re the one who brightens his day. You are his Muse and he can’t get enough of you.
I’m not a relationship expert, but if he’s going out of his way to see you, then you know this is one of the legit signs a married man is falling in love with you and there’s no need to question it.
He wants to be your hero
Every man has a hero instinct when it comes to courting women. If he’s head over heels for you, he will want to protect you in every sense of its meaning.
Truth be told, every man wants to be your hero when they are in an early infatuation phase because they want to show you that they are worthy of being with you.
They want to impress you with their skills (especially problem-solver skills), their strength, and they want to be DIFFERENT from any man you’ve been with so far.
If he’s in love with you, he will want to be your personal hero; a person who is always there for you, your confidante, and your best friend. You will notice his hero instinct in both his text messages and the way he acts in person.
If you tell him that you need help with something, he will immediately start thinking about possible solutions. If you tell him that you’re sick, he will turn into your personal doctor and tell you exactly what you need to do in order to feel better.
Now, the question is: Will you let him be your hero or you need more time to make a decision?
He doesn’t have a ring on whenever he is with you
So, you know that this guy is married. And when you see his social media photos, he always has his wedding ring on. But whenever he is with you, it is like his ring has suddenly disappeared and you keep wondering why that is so.
When a married man is in love with you, he (probably) feels guilty about it. He is also scared that his wife will find out about his feelings.
When he has his wedding ring on, it serves him as a reminder that he is a married guy who shouldn’t allow himself to catch any romantic feelings for some other woman, because of his wife.
Besides, when he has his ring on, he feels like he has a part of his wife together with him. This ring probably makes him think of her and everything he is doing and that is the last thing he wants.
But when he takes the ring off, it helps him forget his status and he subconsciously thinks he is free to court you.
Another possibility is that he doesn’t take his ring off when he is with you but that he constantly plays with it without even being aware of it.
If he does that, it is probable that he hasn’t reached a decision about if to act on his feelings for you just yet.
He opens up to you
If a married man is falling in love with you and especially if he wants to act on it, he is very well aware that his feelings are not something he should be proud of. So, he will do whatever is in his power to justify himself.
Therefore, he will probably talk to you about his marriage:
- He will open up to you about all the alleged problems he’s been having with his wife for years.
- He will tell you that the two of them don’t share any common interests or goals.
- He will lie to your face that he hasn’t been intimate with her for years.
According to him, he is almost single and the only thing that connects him with his wife is a worthless piece of paper.
He presents his marriage as a formality because he wants you to think that he would leave his wife in no time if you just gave him a chance. Well, maybe he would and maybe he wouldn’t.
This man will open up to you about a million other things as well. He will talk to you about his past, and his dreams, hopes, and desires.
But be careful because you cannot be sure that he’s telling you the truth or only telling you everything you want to hear.
Instead of confessing his feelings to you, he might tell you that there is no one who understands him and that he just needs someone to hear him out.
Perhaps he has found a friend and a shoulder to cry on in you and his only goal is to get under your skin so that you grow feelings for him before you know it. Hmm…
He tries to be witty and charming around you
Every man knows that the best way to win over a girl’s heart is by making her smile. And this man, being married, has a lot of experience, so he knows the power of humor as well.
Therefore, one of the signs a married man is in love with you is him trying to make you laugh and presenting himself as witty and as charming as possible.
Whenever the two of you are with a group of people and he is the one telling a story or a joke, he will only look at you while doing so. Your reaction is the only thing that matters to him.
He wants you to stop perceiving him as this serious, married guy, but instead as an amusing, interesting guy.
He tries to look good in front of you
It is perfectly natural that we all want our loved ones to see us in the best possible light. It’s the same with this man who is in love with you, despite the fact that he is married.
Whenever he knows he is about to see you, he will be dressed the best way possible and he will make sure he smells good. He might even start hitting the gym regularly because he wants to impress you with his muscles and hotness.
He’ll pay special attention to his hairstyle and all the other little things that he probably hasn’t paid attention to in a long time.
When this man is around you, he will constantly adjust his tie or hair and he will probably do it subconsciously.
He puts in extra effort to take care of you
There exist men who are true gentlemen in all situations. It is in their nature to be polite to every woman who crosses their path and it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that they have feelings for these women.
But if he goes out of his way to meet your needs, it is a sign that you mean something more to him.
This guy will take care of you, he will be worried about if you are OK in every situation. He will worry whether you have had enough sleep, if you are tired or if there is something bothering you.
This man wants to protect you and to show you that you have his support, no matter what.
Of course, it is possible that he is just being nice and friendly but if he puts in extra effort to take care of you, it is probably because he is falling in love with you.
He wants you to perceive him as a reliable man who will never leave your side. This guy will show you this in numerous ways; he’ll start with little things, like being the first one to offer you a ride home and bigger things such as helping you with more serious life issues.
It is likely that he doesn’t know how to get closer to you, so he wants you to perceive him as a friend and he wants to become the first person you’ll call whenever you are in trouble.
He is interested in your love life
If you are in friendly relations with a guy who is married, it is normal that the topic of your love life comes into question. This man might give you a piece of his mind or some relationship advice from a male point of view, but that is more than enough.
If he sees you only as a friend, it is not probable that he will be the one mentioning your love life, until you do so.
But if this guy has some more-than-friendly feelings for you, he will show enormous interest in your love life.
He wants to know if you are single and if you are, he wants to know what type of guys you prefer. If you happen to be in a relationship, he will want to know all the details regarding it.
It is obvious that he hopes to hear you complain about your relationship and he sees it as a chance for him to act on his feelings.
He is interested in your future plans
Does he ask you about your future plans regarding your job or any other aspect of your life? Do you feel like he’s really making an effort to decipher what’s going on in your head?
If he’s interested in your future plans, there is a valid reason behind it. It means he genuinely likes you and he wants to be a part of your life.
He asks you about your plans because he sees a future with you. Maybe he’s thinking of leaving his wife soon and he needs to know if your future plans and goals align with his.
My humble advice to you is: Be honest. Tell him exactly what’s going in your life at the moment, what plans you have for the future (if you have any), and any other relevant details.
Note that if he’s genuinely interested in your life, this is a great sign. He’s not a player and he doesn’t see you as a candidate for a fleeting romance.
Instead, he’s serious about you and he probably wants you to know it, too. If he hasn’t expressed his feelings for you, you can expect it to happen real soon.
How Do You Know If A Married Man Is Attracted To You But Hiding It?
You know that a married guy is attracted to you (but is probably hiding it) if he shows jealousy, subtly touches you and does other not-so-obvious things that indicate his interest in you.
Sometimes, or better said in the majority of cases, married men will not be that open and honest regarding their affection toward you. That is why you need to pay attention to other signs as well.
His body language signs scream affection and attraction
If someone has feelings for you, his body language will be the first thing that will give him away. When a man falls in love with you, he expresses it through his body language signs as well and all you need to do is observe them.
Here are some body language signs that indicate a married guy is in love with you:
- He can’t help but stare at you
- He smiles at you
- He leans in while you talk
- He always stands with his feet directed toward you
- Stands taller
- Pulls his stomach in and his shoulders back
If he can’t help himself but literally stare at you like he’s seeing you for the first time even though he saw you a million times so far, then you know he’s smitten by you. If his gaze is accompanied by a warm smile, there you have it.
By smiling at you, he’s letting you know how much he enjoys your company. Him standing taller and pulling his stomach in are also great indicators that he’s trying really hard to impress you with his appearance.
He wants you to see him as a macho man who is able to protect you. The best of all is that he’s probably not even aware that he’s doing any of it. Well, that’s the beauty of body language signs and that is why they are ten times more powerful than words.
He’s imitating your actions
How to tell if a married man is in love with you? Well, one of the biggest signs that a married man is in love with you is him imitating your actions.
This is also a part of his body language but it can be seen as a separate unit as well. So, when a man imitates your words or actions, he does it because he’s deeply attracted to you.
I’ve experienced this multiple times so far. When two people like each other, they tend to mimic each other’s words and actions.
For example, he might start using some words that you often repeat (and which he hasn’t used before) or if you touch your hair when talking, he might do the same.
If someone is genuinely attracted to you, this ‘imitating pattern’ will also be present when texting as well. He might start using your favorite emojis or terms he obviously hasn’t used before.
Imitation is a natural part of the attraction, so pay close attention to it and you’ll know for sure whether he likes you more than a friend.
He playfully and subtly touches you
Playful and subtle touches are like saying someone: Hey, I like you but I don’t know how to tell you that, so I hope my body language and other gestures will help you notice my affection.
Now, let’s be honest. A subtle touch truly is one of the most powerful indicators of unspoken attraction because such touches are indirect and subconscious.
If he’s attracted to you, he will touch your shoulder or your hand when talking to you. When the two of you greet, he will want to hug you or at least kiss you on the cheek.
In other words, he will use every opportunity to touch you because that’s how attractiveness works. He can’t help himself but feel drawn to you both mentally and physically.
Every time he subtly touches you, he feels at ease, and his attraction for you significantly increases. The more he touches you, the more he wants to repeat it because this is stronger than him.
He doesn’t talk about his marriage at all
If he doesn’t talk about his marriage at all, this might be both a good sign and a warning sign.
It can be a good sign because it means his marriage is no longer that important to him and that’s the reason why he doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s aware that things have come to an end and there’s no point in trying to save his marriage (or what’s left of it).
It can also be a warning sign if he avoids mentioning his marriage because he still cares about his wife and he has a guilty conscience or mixed feelings. If that is the case with him, know that he will probably never choose you over his wife.
All in all, him not talking about his marriage is in both ways an indicator that he’s deeply attracted to you. Summarized, there are two possible reasons why he refuses to talk about it:
1. a) His marriage is unhealthy and it’s a matter of time when he will separate from his spouse.
2. b) Even though his marriage still has potential, he’s weighing his options.
He compliments you on subtle things
Does he compliment your way of dealing with problems, your freckles, or something else you would never think of as a compliment in the first place?
If a man compliments you on subtle things (instead of saying something generic like ‘You’re beautiful’ then you know he’s making a true effort when it comes to observing you.
He compliments you on subtle things because he LITERALLY notices every single thing about you from your personality to your appearance. He notices every change on you (even that new necklace that is barely visible).
So, if he gives you random compliments, it means he genuinely likes you. He likes your style, your way of thinking and he wants to make you feel beautiful. He wants you to know how special you are to him.
Not every man is courageous or creative enough to compliment women on a wide array of things but if he is, then you know he’s not wasting his time. He’s making a serious effort in the compliment department in hope that you’ll notice it.
He makes excuses to talk to you and to see you
When someone has romantic feelings for you, it is perfectly normal that this person wants to spend as much as time with you as possible. But when that someone happens to be married, he knows he can’t just ask you out as if he were single.
Therefore, one of the signs a married man is in love with you is his excuses to make any kind of contact with you. This guy will use every opportunity he gets to talk to you or to be near you.
He will try to initiate any kind of communication with you. He’ll probably start with some casual topics and small talk, with the intention of deepening that communication.
This man is interested in you and he wants to get to know you better and at the same time, he wants you to get to know him. Besides, he will always have an excuse as to why the two of you need to see each other because he wants to spend all his free time with you.
He’ll offer you his help just to spend time with you and he’ll ask for yours. If he is truly, deeply in love with you, it is possible for him to start showing up at places where he expects to see you.
This man doesn’t want to be out of your sight, because he hopes that you’ll fall in love with him if he becomes a part of your life.
He shows jealousy
One of the signs a married man is in love with you is his jealousy.
This guy knows that he is not your partner and that he is married, so he is aware that he can’t show his jealousy regarding you. But he is so madly in love with you that he simply can’t hide it, as much as he tries to.
He feels threatened by every guy who comes near you (be it your friend or co-worker) and he acts overly protective when that happens as if you were his girlfriend.
Whenever you mention a guy who is your potential boyfriend, he doesn’t fail to mention all of his flaws, implying that you deserve better.
If you are in a relationship, he will constantly point out all the negative aspects of it and he’ll try to convince you that you should break up with him.
While doing all of this, he obviously doesn’t reveal his true intentions for you. Instead, he tries to convince you that he is just giving you friendly pieces of advice and nothing more but it is an obvious sign of his feelings for you.
He wants to be close to you
One of the clear signs a married man is in love with you is the physical contact he tries to have with you all the time.
If you encounter this man at work or in a group of friends, he will make sure to sit or stand next to you. This man obviously has a secret crush on you but he is aware of his marital status and is not sure if he stands a chance with you.
However, his body has an urge to be close to you and to subtly touch you and he can’t control it.
Besides, he wants you to get used to having him close to you because he hopes that will make you fall in love with him.
What Happens When A Married Man Falls In Love With Another Woman?
When a married guy falls in love with another woman, he might be just looking for a good time (if he’s a player) but true love is also possible.
The phenomenon of a married man falling in love with another woman can be interpreted in various ways. It all depends on the type of man, the situation he’s in, and the reason why he’s having (or desires to have) an affair.
Some men cheat on their wives on a regular basis.
For some men, falling in love with another woman has become a hobby. Such men don’t respect their wives and all they care about is their ego and their pleasure. They are known as players – men who aren’t serious about you.
If you end up having an affair with such a man, it is highly unlikely that he’ll leave his wife. As a matter of fact, he might get bored of you too and replace you with someone else. You know what they say: Never trust a player or a cheater.
(They don’t really say it but it sounds totally legit to me.)
Some men aren’t happy in their marriage.
There are also men who are genuinely unhappy in their marriage. Perhaps they were (for some reason) forced to marry someone they didn’t want to or they generally weren’t ready to enter into marriage.
Also, they might have some serious issues that are beyond fixing, so the only thing that’s left to do is get a divorce.
If an unhappy married guy falls in love with another woman, there is a chance that he will leave his wife at one point but the probability of it happening is below 100%.
Again, it all depends on the type of man, the situation he’s in, and his marriage. Perhaps he succeeds to save his marriage and then falls in love with his wife once again. In such and similar situations, you can never know what will happen for sure.
Some men seek validation.
Well, some men get bored in their marriage. They feel the need to be reminded that they are still attractive, fun, and simply awesome.
Perhaps his marriage is in a rut and he feels like he’s suffocating. When that happens, he can easily fall in love in love with another woman.
He feels the need to prove himself and be praised for his appearance, performance, and personality. He wants another woman to make him feel attractive again.
Such a man won’t leave his wife for another woman because he’s not really in love with another woman but he’s trying to fall in love with himself. Once he feels powerful again, he will probably go back to his wife and forget that he ever “loved” anyone else but her.
It could be true love.
Even though unlikely, yes, it could be true love. Every marriage and life journey is different. Some people end up being married till death sets them apart while others go through a divorce, falling in love with others, re-marrying, and so on.
If it is true love, such a man won’t waste his time saving his failed marriage or reconsidering things. He will know that he wants you and you only and he will make sure to let you know that, too.
One of the biggest signs of true love from a man is him not treating you as an option but as a priority. If it is true love, you will know it because it will feel genuine and just right.
How To Handle A Married Man Flirting With You
There are different ways in which you could respond to a married guy flirting with you and showing interest in you. It all depends on what you want and what he wants as well.
If his intentions are pure and genuine, you might consider reciprocating his feelings. If he’s a player, then you should learn to protect yourself.
Reciprocate his feelings
If he shows genuine love interest in you and also mentions an upcoming divorce or how unhappy he is in his marriage, then you might consider dating a married man and reciprocating his feelings.
Of course, you should do it only if you’re also genuinely interested in him. Still, keep in mind that even if he gets divorced and you two enter a serious relationship (or get married), there will always be that little voice in your head telling you “What if he falls in love with another woman again?”
Well, if your relationship is based on trust and mutual attraction, then there’s nothing you should worry about.
Let your feelings fade away
If he has mixed feelings, if he’s confused and similar, it’s best to let your feelings fade away. It won’t be easy at first but you have to move on with your life and focus on other things instead of him.
You have to allow your feelings to disappear into thin air which will happen after some time but you just need to give it time. Sounds really comforting, I know.
Note: If you’re okay with being the other woman, I won’t judge and no one has the right to judge you either.
Be honest and straightforward
What is that you really want? What’s best for both of you? Is it real love or a fleeting romance?
Be realistic and honest with yourself. Think about his marriage and the situation you’re in. This will help you avoid potential disappointment and heartbreak.
As always, honesty is the essence of every healthy relationship. If you decide to reciprocate his feelings, tell him so. If you decide to move on with your life, let him know as well.
Redirect the focus of your attention
Instead of spending time with him, think about spending time with your friends, family, and other people who care about you. Also, I’m sure there are plenty of single men out there whom you can date.
Just because it happened that a married guy fell in love with you, this doesn’t mean that he’s the only man for you. Perhaps he is but perhaps he isn’t.
If you think he isn’t, then redirect the focus of your attention to other things that make you happy. It’s as simple as that.
Focus on his flaws
One of the best tricks that can help you to stop thinking about someone is focusing on their flaws. When you see your object of affection as a perfect potential partner and the only person for you, it will be hard for you to let go.
But if you focus on things that aren’t so perfect about him, it will be easier for you to move on. It’s all about your perception. You can trick your mind to believe what you want to believe (only if you want to).
So, the question is: Do you want to? Are you ready to focus on your life instead of chasing something that is uncertain and complicated? Hmm…
Cut off all communication
If you’re determined to let him go, then cut off all communication because that’s the best way to move on. Trust me, your mental health will thank you later.
Unfollow him, block him, delete his number and do whatever you can to minimize his presence in your life. If you want to forget him, then there’s no point in you checking out his social media profiles one hundred times per day.
Here’s a quick tip on how to forget someone: Don’t be a part of his both real and virtual life. Do you think you can do that? Then you’re TOTALLY ready to forget him!
Start asking about his wife
If you think he still has feelings for his wife or he never even mentioned her but you know he’s married, then start asking about his wife. I’m sure he will be shocked at first and he might start talking badly about her or deny that he has a wife in the first place.
Well, perhaps he truly is in an unhappy marriage which is the reason why he no longer cares about her. If this is the case with him, he shouldn’t be upset when you mention his wife.
You know what they say: The opposite of love is not hate but indifference.
Do NOT seek validation
Both married guys and the other women sometimes tend to seek validation from one another. Married guys want to feel attractive again, whereas the other women want to prove to themselves and others that they are better than their wives.
Entering a romance due to seeking validation is one of the worst things that could happen to you because it’s totally unhealthy and it’s not real. You are worthy. You are beautiful and smart.
You don’t need to compete with other women to prove that you’re better or prettier than them. This is called the prettier woman syndrome and it has become an epidemic. Don’t be another victim.
Make The Right Choice
Now that you’ve learned all the signs a married man is in love with you and all the possible outcomes of such romances, I hope it will help you make the right choice.
Remember to pay attention to what type of man he is, his marriage situation, and his body language signs because they never lie.
Also, pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness because if you don’t, nobody else will.