Do you find it strange that your partner spends hours on social media chatting with their “friends” and that he often goes out with them without you being a part of that story?
Do you feel like you have become nothing more than a backup plan for them?
You may have ruled out cheating as a possible reason, but there is a concept called “monkey branching” that is quite similar to it.
Stay tuned to learn more about what it actually means, how to recognize it in a relationship, and what to do about it.
What Is Monkey Branching?
The practice of preparing for a new relationship while you are still in an existing one is called monkey branching.
Some partners are labeled “monkeyish” because they hop from one relationship to the next as monkeys swinging from one branch to another.
A monkey brancher also does not allow themselves to fail in a relationship and be left alone just as monkeys do not touch the ground during their jumps.
They are insecure people who are unlikely to ever find the right person for them. Well, no one likes it when someone plays with their feelings, right?
For such people, every relationship will eventually fail… it’s just a matter of time.
While they enjoy flirting in a new relationship, the current relationship functions as a safety net. In case a new branch breaks, they can simply switch to the old one.
Monkey branching can also be considered a rebound relationship, where the partner wants to recover from an ongoing relationship that has not ended. As a result, once that relationship ends, they will move on to the next relationship.
Monkey Brancher Personality Traits
These are some of the main characteristics of a monkey branch cheater.
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem is one of the first characteristics of a cheater or a monkey brancher.
Because of low self-esteem, this person is unaware of their values and constantly seeks the attention and validation of others.
That’s why they’re always “jumping from branch to branch.” When they do not find what they are looking for in their current relationship, they easily move on to a new one.
Mood swings
Another sign that a person is prone to monkey branching is emotional oscillation or mood swings.
A partner’s moods change frequently, and you are never safe with them.
Everything is fine in the relationship one moment, but as soon as the phone rings or they return from “basketball with friends,” you notice that they are less gentle and emotional, and this happens every day.
This is because your partner is looking for emotional stability, but he or she has found it elsewhere.
Manipulation
Cheaters are known for being able to manipulate others.
They frequently play with the feelings of others.
When “caught in the act,” they often blame their partner for their mistakes. The need to manipulate others, particularly in a relationship, stems from the partner’s insecurities.
For example, if you think they are doing something behind your back, they, as a good manipulator, will be able to turn your feelings against you and eventually convince you that you are wrong.
10 Obvious Signs Of Monkey Branching
Here are some telltale signs that your partner is monkey branching you.
1. They spend most of their time glued to the screen
Do they spend more time on their phone than they do with you?
That’s one of the first signs they’re “monkey branching” you.
Yes, we all have phones and use them daily, but if your partner is more interested in the small screen than in you, know that something is wrong.
They are probably responding to messages from their new potential lover. Yes, phone cheating is also a thing!
I get that you do not want to invade their privacy by checking their messages, but it can not hurt to ask them directly about anything you want to know.
2. They are acting shady and hiding things from you
Do you ever get the impression that they’re keeping something from you?
If your partner frequently avoids telling you where they have been, where they are going, and who they are spending time with, they likely have a new partner.
Also, if their phone is always face down, it suggests that she/he is trying to hide phone calls and messages from you.
Passwords on their phone or in chatting apps such as Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, Telegram, and others can also be indicators of larger secrets.
3. Dating apps are still around
Are you in a relationship with someone who still has Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, or another dating app installed on their phone?
Well, dear friend, this is yet another red flag of monkey branching.
If they try to justify themselves with phrases like “There’s nothing wrong with dating apps” or “It’s just a conversation”, don’t fall for it. It is an obvious sign that they have a new partner.
If you show understanding for something like that, you will only make things worse for yourself, and your partner will keep doing whatever they want.
4. They flirt with others like a pro
Is your partner putting you in awkward situations in front of other people?
Everyone around you must have noticed that they are constantly flirting with others, whether in person or flirting online, winking, exchanging eye contact, or even giving their phone number. Still, do you pretend not to notice it just because you feel embarrassed?
Don’t fool yourself.
This is another sign of monkey branching, and if you notice that your partner flirts with others in person or online, verbally or with body language, act immediately.
5. They are everywhere but home
Do you notice that your partner is suddenly involved in more activities than usual?
They often go to the gym, swim, and play basketball with their friends; basically, they are everywhere except at home with you.
Participating in sports activities is, of course, healthy and commendable, but if they are not a “sports-type” or have not previously participated in so many activities, you have reason to be skeptical.
6. They gaslight you
Whenever you confront them about their behavior, they deny it.
For example, you may have overheard them speaking to someone in the room in an intimate manner, but when you confront them, they assure you that you are imagining things.
Yes, they are gaslighting you.
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that is commonly used by narcissists. So, your partner blames you for their mistakes and convinces you that you are the one who is making up things.
Gaslighting is a very serious form of mind abuse. In some cases, the victim begins to doubt what they witnessed with their own eyes.
7. They have no time for your loved ones
Of course, your partner is not required to attend all family and friends gatherings.
But, what if they avoid your company all the time, make excuses, and refuse to meet any of your family members?
It’s a sign, my dear, that they’re not planning to stay long on your “love branch.”
Monkey branchers have no time to visit and meet with your family and friends.
They are preoccupied with dating apps where they are looking for opportunities for a new relationship.
8. They have dozens of ex-partners
Everyone has the right to be with whom they want to be with, and no one is obligated to stay in a relationship with whom they are unhappy.
But, what if your partner has a long list of exes? That doesn’t speak so well of them.
It rather indicates that they enjoy changing partners and jumping from one relationship to the next.
Will they stay in their current relationship for long? Well, I’m not sure, but judging by all of the above, I can tell you that the prognosis isn’t promising.
Since this is another sign of monkey branching, I don’t think it’s so bad for you to try to find happiness in a new relationship.
9. They care too much about their looks
Your partner, who previously didn’t care what they wore or whether they shaved their beard, is suddenly paying attention to every detail.
Caring about physical appearance is yet another sign that your partner has a new person in their life.
Of course, we all need to take care of ourselves and our appearance, but if your partner overdoes the perfume or spends too much time trying to find the perfect outfit, know that it is not a coincidence, and that your partner might be cheating on you.
10. They become indifferent
This is the final but not less important sign of a monkey branching relationship.
Since the first date, your partner has taken care of you and your feelings, and everything seemed to be perfect, but now she/he is indifferent to everything and she/he doesn’t care about you.
When you want to go somewhere together, they aren’t particularly interested.
Going to the movies or playing a game with your friends is now a thing of the past.
If you have a problem to solve, they will let you do whatever you want because they do not see the point of it all.
Well, something is fishy here…
This could imply that your partner is now focused on someone else’s feelings, just as he used to focus on yours.
Monkey Branching VS. Cheating
Is there a difference between monkey branching and cheating?
Honestly, not so much.
But, monkey branching is considered a less harmful form of cheating because your partner is still not in a completely intimate and romantic relationship with another person.
Cheating, on the other hand, is defined as a close emotional, physical, or romantic relationship with another person.
However, cheating for any reason is still cheating, right?
Simply because someone is “just chatting” on Tinder or making phone calls with others does not mean they are not cheating on you.
After all, if you truly love someone, you would never do that, would you?
So, why do people monkey branch?
This unhealthy habit of cheating on others and constantly seeking new relationships develops as a result of a lack of self-worth and validation.
He/she is constantly dissatisfied with their current life, and is constantly looking for new experiences.
They constantly seek attention and new emotional connections.
They never want to be alone, so before any quarrels even begin, they look for a potential partner for a new relationship.
Do Monkey Branching Relationships Last?
No. Such relationships have a bleak future, and here’s why:
- Monkey branching relationships are based on manipulation of other people’s emotions to meet someone’s needs.
- Everything appears to be perfect at first, but masks are revealed later on.
- In such a relationship, one partner is always diminished, which can eventually lead to trust issues, disappointment, and low self-esteem.
- There is no mutual understanding or support.
What Should You Do If Your Partner Is Monkey Branching You?
By now, I am sure you have figured out what monkey-branching is, and how easy it is to realize that your partner is not Mr. or Mrs. Perfect.
But, how do you get rid of such a relationship, and what can you do if someone monkey branches you?
Here are a few tips that will surely help you set boundaries once and for all, and make your life easier.
Talk to them
Of course, there is no need for ceremonies, arguments, and unnecessary noise. But, you certainly do not have to just close the door and leave before saying what you mean. Confront your partner about their faults.
Talk to them in a way that shows them that you care about yourself and that you will not let them do this to you again.
Feel free to blame them because they deserve it.
Let them know that they can do what they want with their life, but that you have your priorities and boundaries, too, and let them continue on their path without you.
Unfortunately, you can not change anything about it, but what you can do is not let anyone make a fool of you.
Force nothing
There’s no point in being with someone who does not appreciate and respect you, is there?
Stop being with someone who doesn’t deserve you.
Do not force your partner to explain anything to you, and do not try to keep them in a relationship if you see that things are just not going right.
Do not try to control someone’s behavior or force them to justify themselves. After all, you have your principles. Do you want to stay with someone for whom you are just another option? Let them decide for themselves what they want from their life.
And you…
Lift your head, and don’t worry because someone, somewhere, is just waiting for you!
Consult your friend
No one knows you better than you know yourself. But, it will certainly be easier for you if you share your problems with a close friend.
Do not be afraid that a friend will judge or criticize you because after all, you should not be blamed for your partner’s behavior and mistakes.
Friends know us inside and out, and their advice is certainly always helpful.
Maybe they will show you a different way to solve your problems, but either way, I am sure you’ll feel much better after sharing your problems with someone.
After all…
When has good and honest advice from someone who loves you ever hurt anyone?
Practice self-love
There’s not much you can do to keep your partner from monkey branching you.
But, where you can safely start with a new version of yourself is self-love.
You must have spent hours, days, or even months working on your relationship and trying to make it work even when you saw it going downhill. But, you need to understand that sometimes, it’s just not worth it to put effort into people who do not deserve you.
You have to learn to love yourself and work on your moral values.
Do not let the insecurities of others diminish your self-worth.
Start a new chapter in life, and do not return to people and relationships that don’t deserve you.
And remember… there are no mistakes in life, only lessons.
Closing Thoughts
All this suggests that monkey branching is almost the same as cheating.
No relationship that is based on lying, cheating, and flirting can be called a healthy relationship.
It is not only morally wrong, but it also has serious consequences.
If you notice any of the above signs of monkey branching, do not ignore it.
I know it will be hard to let go of the one you love, but it will be even harder for you to stay in a relationship where you are just someone’s “old branch” and another option.
Focus on yourself and your needs. There’s no point in feeling sorry for someone who does not appreciate you.
You have the power to choose, my dear.
So… Don’t let any monkey dull your sparkle!