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A Toast To All The Brave Children Who Cut Ties With Their Toxic Mothers

A Toast To All The Brave Children Who Cut Ties With Their Toxic Mothers

You should love your parents, no matter what they’re like. Especially your mother! She gave birth to you, and the least you can do is thank her for it!

And I bet she even put a roof over your head for years. You had food on the table. What more could you ask for?

After all, she could have dumped you on someone’s doorstep. But, she didn’t do that, did she?

That’s exactly why you MUST love her, no matter what. More importantly, you MUST respect her.

She carried you for nine months, and she went through tremendous pain to bring you into this world. Who are you to hold grudges against her?

This is your mother we’re talking about, and she’s always right!

How many times have you heard these lines? Of course, they always come from someone who doesn’t understand where you are coming from.

They always come from people who assume that everyone’s mothers are angels God put on this earth to protect us. People who can’t grasp the idea of a toxic mother whose only mission in this world is to ruin your life.

Well, sadly, I understand. And that’s exactly why I say that all of this is bullshit.

You have no responsibility to love your mother if she was the source of your misery.

This is not a woman who gave you her unconditional love.

Not a woman who provided you with comfort when you needed it and definitely not a woman who deserves to be called a mother.

Because let’s face it, she was anything but that.

How many times did she break your heart without helping you pick up the pieces? How many times did you beg for crumbs of her attention but never got any?

How many times did you ask for her protection but ended up fighting for yourself?

How many sleepless nights have you spent crying, praying to God to give you a caring mother? How many times did you look at your friends with envy when they got a simple kiss or a hug from their moms?

How many times have you run into her arms but reached an insensitive wall? How many times have you blamed yourself for the way she treated you?

I know it’s more than you can count. So why do you think you owe this woman anything? Trust me – you don’t.

She didn’t perform as a mother and, therefore, she dismissed you from any “duties” a thankful child might have.

The only person you owe everything to is yourself because you had the courage to break this toxic cycle.

You faced your biggest fear and accepted the harsh truth: your mother doesn’t love you and never did. In fact, she is probably incapable of loving.

But guess what? None of it is your fault. Yes, it took you years to figure that out, but now, you’ve finally gotten to the point where you no longer blame yourself.

And it gets even better. You don’t even blame her anymore.

At some level, you’ve even forgiven her for ruining your life. You haven’t forgotten anything, of course, but you’re no longer consumed by anger.

How strong you must be to reach this level of consciousness!

So, here’s a toast to you. It’s the least you deserve after everything you’ve been through.

Here’s to your bravery. It took you a lot of courage to look that hurt child inside of you directly in the eyes – a lot of courage to face your traumas and to start fighting them.

Here’s to your strength. It took you a lot of power to heal that inner child.

But I guess it took you even more strength to really cut ties with your toxic mom. To sever the ties her once and for all.

I know it was near impossible not to fall for her manipulations, deceptions, and lies. I bet she tried luring you back into her net dozens of times, promising that this time would be different or gaslighting you and telling you that you’re overreacting.

However, you stayed on the right track. You really kicked her out of your life, heart, and mind.

But most of all, here’s to the person you’ve grown into. Here’s to the fact that you never mirrored her behavior patterns and never became anything like her.

Your hunger for love didn’t turn you into a heartless monster. Your desire for attention didn’t turn you into a narcissistic jerk who’d kill to be under the spotlight.

Your desperation for comfort didn’t inspire you to become a selfish, apathetic human being. Your craving for understanding didn’t make you indifferent.

Instead, your toxic mom inspired you to be better than her. She showed you what kind of person you must never become.

When I come to think about it, that’s pretty much the only thing you should thank her for: for giving you a lesson you’ll never forget.

Guess what, you made it! You’ve got everything you ever wanted in life, and you got it without any help from her.

Most importantly, you have your inner peace. You’ve healed, and all the emotional baggage she left behind is no longer weighing you down.

Apparently, she was wrong – you aren’t such a failure, after all.

So, here’s a toast for YOU! You deserve it.

And just another quick reminder: you don’t have to love your mother just because she’s your mother. But hey, you MUST always love yourself!

A Toast To All The Brave Children Who Cut Ties With Their Toxic Mothers Pinterest

Laura

Monday 8th of August 2022

I wish I was healed after kicking her out of my life over 2 years ago. I have autoimmune diseases from all the childhood trauma, and at 56 have been on disability for 5 years. I definitely have more peace now that she is out of my life, but the lifelong trauma from her has left a permanent mark emotionally and physically. I continue going to therapy (have been since I was a teen) and try to heal my body in many different ways, but Bessel A. van der Kolk, MD put it best - The Body Keeps the Score.

Leslee

Sunday 7th of August 2022

*her not your

Leslee

Sunday 7th of August 2022

Thank you for this reminder. So true. So needed to hear this as my mother is reaching out for my birthday. I know not to respond. She is trying to ensnare me in your web again!!

Hannah

Saturday 6th of August 2022

Thank you.

Monica

Thursday 4th of August 2022

Yes .

Thanks for writing this wonderful article and appreciating all courageous children who had the power to get away from the shackles of a toxic and narcissistic mother .