Asking a girl out over text can be a tricky thing for every guy out there no matter their level of self-confidence.
“What if she ignores me? What if I ask her out too early and scare her off with that? I hope I don’t ask her out once it’s too late either. I hate this digital era.”
These are some of the things that are probably running through your head before texting a girl. And guess what? You have every right to feel this way! (Speaking from a female perspective.)
Lord knows that we girls can be really complicated sometimes because we notice everything.
We pay attention to details, including whether you’re sending us a smiley or not when texting, how long your texts are and many others. (Given that I don’t want to scare you off, I’ll stop right here.)
So, what’s the best way of asking a girl out over text and making her say yes?
If you ask her out immediately in the first text message, she will most definitely not say yes to you. If you wait too long to do it, she will lose interest.
The best way to ask a girl out over text and get a yes is by choosing the right time to do it and using effective flirting methods and a good overall approach.
If you want to make her want to go out with you, here are all the things you need to pay attention to:
Capture her attention
“Hey, what’s up?” “Hi, what have you been up to?”
Here’s a question for you, my reader: Do you think the above questions are great opening messages?
If your answer is yes, then you need to step up your game if you want to WIN that girl and get a positive response when you ask her out!
If you’re wondering about the reasons why the above examples are not good conversation starters, I’ll tell you one word: BORING.
Every single one of us has been asked those same questions over and over again, so that is how these questions have become generic, aka boring.
You don’t want her to think that you will be a boring dater, right? You want to impress her with your originality and creativity. You want to be DIFFERENT from the rest. That’s the key word.
By being different, you are making a girl feel special. You see, the math is simple here. If you can entertain a girl and make her feel special over text, she will most definitely go out with you.
In order to capture her attention, text her something from the following:
- “Hey, beautiful lady! Did you know that there is this one guy who would really like to date you? Well, you’re texting with him right now.”
- “You wouldn’t believe what just happened to me…”
- “I’ve been gathering courage for some time to ask you on a date, so I’d be grateful if you could be so kind as to put me out of my misery.”
- “Since you’ve probably received thousands of cheesy pick-up lines so far from other guys, I have the urge to tell you not to worry because I’m not one of them.”
- “What is the most unusual fear you have? I hope it’s not being texted by a guy who is completely smitten with you.”
- Some of the above texts are a direct way of asking a girl on a date (reserved only for the brave ones), while others are safer variations of interesting opening messages.
As always, feel free to come up with your own as well!
Connect with her
The most skillful online daters in the world know that the secret to winning over someone you like in the virtual world lies in connecting with them.
So, if you want to learn how to ask a girl out on a date over text, you need to master the art of connecting with her first.
You want her to see that you’re interested in getting to know her better and not just in jumping into her pants.
Well, even if you are interested only in the latter, you mustn’t show that to her. You know what they say: Fake it until you make it!
When it comes to connecting with girls, everything is about the amount of your effort and attention. Here are some cute ways in which you can connect with that one special girl you want to take out on a date:
Send sweet good morning texts
While this might sound cheesy to you and overly feminine, to girls, a sweet good morning message means the world.
Given that it will probably be the first thing she reads in the morning, you want to make her day and make her heart beat faster with the following examples:
- “I hope your morning is as beautiful as your breathtaking smile.”
- “Good morning, beautiful! I hope you slept well and that you’re ready to get up and conquer the day!”
- “I dreamed about you last night…”
Make her laugh
And, yes, don’t forget to make her laugh, especially when you text her for the first time. Women love HUMOR.
More than anything in the world, we like to laugh at hilarious jokes and stories (even though we sometimes pretend that we don’t).
If you can make a girl laugh without much effort, you have already won her over and the only thing left to do is ask her out on a date.
You can make her laugh by retelling something funny from your childhood (or something that happened recently), sending her a good joke, playfully teasing her and so on.
Send her goodnight texts
Just like good morning texts and girls love to receive goodnight texts as well because it lets them know that they are the last thing a guy is thinking of before going to sleep. Yup, that’s exactly what makes them feel special.
Here are some great examples that will warm her heart:
- “I hope I’ll see you in my dreams tonight.”
- “Sweet dreams, beautiful girl. If you happen to need someone to protect you while dreaming, just let me know.”
- “Before you go to sleep, I want you to know that I enjoyed chatting with you today and I hope you have a good night.”
The easiest way to connect with someone is by sharing your fears, dreams and other things from your personal life.
That way, she’ll get to know you better and she will see what an amazing guy you are.
The thing with girls is that we are more interested in your personality than in your looks.
Of course, good looks help when it comes to the attraction department but a captivating personality is something that gets a girl every time.
Know that in order to be able to connect, a girl needs to know your preferences, hobbies and all the other details about your lifestyle. So, share things with her because by doing that, you’ll motivate her to do the same.
The more you share with each other, the closer you’ll get to your first date!
Ask (meaningful) questions
If you want to win a girl over, then stay away from asking boring questions. Instead, ask interesting and meaningful questions that will both capture her attention and keep the conversation going:
- “What’s the most exciting thing you’ve ever done?”
- “What is the one thing you wish people stopped asking you?”
- “What are the pros and cons of being female?”
- “Who has had the biggest impact on your life so far?”
Extra tip: Make sure to find some interesting things to talk about on a first date as well.
Be creative and spontaneous
If you want to go on that date and be a pro at online dating, you need to be creative and spontaneous. Don’t choose the same opening message every time you text her but be original and UNPREDICTABLE.
Girls hate predictable guys more than anything in the world and for a simple reason; because the world is full of them.
Being original requires effort and effort is HOT!
If you want her to see how imaginative you are, you also need to learn how to compliment a beautiful girl’s picture the right way. You should stay away from saying simple things like: Beautiful!
Instead, pay attention to what she is doing in the picture and to all the details, from her accessories to the color of her eyes.
The easiest thing a guy can write is ‘Beautiful’ but it takes real effort to compose something more meaningful that will leave a lasting impact on the girl you like.
Get flirty with her
I don’t think there’s anything more exciting in the whole world than getting flirty with someone you like. If you’re new at this, know that there are so many ways to get flirty with a girl that I barely even know where to start.
Before you master the art of flirting over text, let’s go over some flirty text examples to get you started:
- “Girl, I have so many things to do at the moment but I keep getting distracted thinking of you.”
- “I would like to say so many nice things to you but I’m afraid that words are just not enough.”
- “Whenever I’m having difficulty falling asleep, I just start thinking of you. As soon as I realize that I will never fall asleep I’m still happy because it’s no longer something that bothers me as I have you to think of.”
Pay attention to the signs a girl LIKES you over text
When you’re talking to someone face-to-face, you can easily know whether they like you or not by paying attention to their body language. But what about a text conversation?
How to know if a girl likes you over text? Here’s how
She sometimes texts you first
Are you the only one texting her first all the time or does she sometimes initiate texting as well? If she texts you first from time to time, then you can be sure she likes you. Now, here’s the tricky part.
Some girls avoid texting first because they are playing the game called hard to get. They are afraid of letting you know that they like you, so they leave you to initiate texting and other things.
Well, if you can’t stand such games, then you’ll be thankful if she doesn’t text you first (or ever).
She sends you lots of emojis
I always say that social media is both our biggest enemy and our greatest friend at the same time. If you send a particular emoji at the wrong time, you risk annoying the other person.
If you send an emoji that perfectly fits the convo, you get the girl. Joking but not entirely.
Emojis are every girl’s best friend and your faithful middlemen that will always tell you how she is feeling at any moment.
If she sends you lots of emojis, then you can be sure she likes you because she’s trying to impress you and she tries hard to make every text look interesting.
She asks a lot of questions
If one thing is sure, it’s that if a girl asks you a lot of personal questions, then you know she’s slowly but surely falling for you! Asking questions is every girl’s favorite method that helps us connect with the guy we like.
By learning all the details about you, we create a profile in our head and categorize your personality and whatnot.
It may sound a little bit scary but it’s just a process that we need to go through in order to be sure whether we want to be pursued by you or not.
The same thing goes for first date questions.
If she doesn’t try much when it comes to the question department but asks the first thing that comes to her mind (usually for the sake of it) and then stays silent for half an hour, then you know something’s off.
She doesn’t leave you waiting too long for her response
Before looking for ways to ask a girl out over text, you need to pay attention to her texting patterns. Does she leave you waiting too long for her response all the time?
If it happens sometimes, then it’s okay but if it’s happening all the time, then it is a problem.
You see, if a girl is excited about texting with you, she will most certainly reply ASAP (or wait a little bit just to create anticipation and let you know that she’s not an easy target).
Let me rephrase that. If a girl is excited about texting with you, it means she LIKES you very much.
Her texts are long and engaging
One of the biggest signs she likes you is if she’s messaging long and engaging texts that require thoughtful answers in return as well.
Every girl is perfectly aware of the fact that guys don’t really like receiving long texts and they don’t like texting in general.
Well, sorry guys, we just can’t help ourselves but write novel-length texts when we really like someone.
We want to see the real person behind that picture of yours, we want to learn everything about you and we want to share things with you. That is why our texts are so long when we dig someone.
I remember my boyfriend would always have a minor breakdown whenever I sent him a long text. Back then, he didn’t know how much I liked him. If he had, he wouldn’t have been annoyed about it but instead happy.
Pay attention to the signs a girl doesn’t like you over text
Do girls like shy guys? Or maybe they are more into bad boys?
If you’re not really sure whether a girl likes you over text or not, there are some signs that can help you with this.
Of course, it would be awesome if she immediately told you that she didn’t like you, that she’s not interested and you’re just wasting your time but that seldom happens.
Well, it’s not supposed to happen because it would hurt your feelings and it’s rude. If a girl doesn’t like you, the easiest way to notice it over text is by paying attention to the following signs:
She doesn’t ask you any questions about yourself
She asks a few random questions but she has never asked you anything about yourself. If that happens to you, then you know she’s not interested.
If she was, she would be writing those novel-length texts we talked about above because she wouldn’t be able to help herself but be eager to learn every single detail about you and your life.
A similar thing happened to me once but it was the opposite way around.
I was really interested in getting to know a guy better so I asked him lots of personal questions and he was just answering without asking me a single question.
The first thing that came to my mind was: “He’s probably only interested in getting into my pants.”
When he asked me to send him a picture, I politely told him that I wouldn’t be sending him any because that was the only question he had asked me ever since we had started texting.
My humble advice is that you pay attention so this doesn’t happen to you as well.
Note: This is also one of the signs of an emotionally unavailable woman.
She never texts first
If a girl never texts first, this is a red flag. Assuming that she’s not playing hard to get, the only reason left is her not being interested in texting with you or going on a date with you.
I suggest doing the following: Stop being the only one who initiates a conversation just to see what happens. If she texts first, she’s interested.
If not, she probably isn’t, so congratulations, this will save you a lot of time and stress in the future.
She takes a long to text you back
If receiving an SMS from her in a decent time span is like expecting a miracle to happen, then you know something’s off here.
She cannot be forever busy even if she wanted to, so there are no excuses for prolonging replies to your every text.
If she takes a lot of time to text you back, the best thing to do is stop texting her and see what happens.
If she tells you that she has been busy lately and apologizes for putting you on hold, chances are she’s actually interested in texting with you (and dating you).
Ask her out in a subtle and creative way
The first question that comes to every guy’s mind before texting that one girl they like is: How to ask a girl out over text messages?
Should you just ask her directly: “Hey, do you want to go on a date with me on Friday?” Or should you make it more subtle?
From my female perspective, I can tell you that the best way to ask a girl out over text is to do it in a subtle and creative way.
There are so many cute ways (with a high success rate) to ask a girl out and all you need to do is pick the most interesting one to you (or you can come up with your own as well).
How to ask a girl out over text examples:
- “I think this is something that should be discussed over dinner.”
- “I was thinking of asking you to visit that new place with me tomorrow but I guess I’ll have to wait until some other day.”
- “Do you like hiking/walks/nature?” (If she says yes, then suggest going to the park or another similar activity.)
- “That just makes me think of (certain food). Looks like we’ll have to visit that place this weekend to satisfy my appetite.”
- “I think Friday is a legit excuse to enjoy one too many beers/cocktails. Wouldn’t you agree?” (If she says yes, then proceed with something like: Meet me at (a certain place) around 7.
- “I really enjoy texting with you but what I would enjoy even more is talking to you face-to-face. Coffee Thursday?”
If you’re having doubts about date ideas, I suggest a coffee date. Why? Because it’s simple and cozy and you will be able to spend quality time together and get to know each other better.
And who knows, perhaps your first date will lead to another date and over time, to a potential relationship.
With that being said, when the time comes to think about how to ask for a second date, you can say something like: “I had a great time with you and I would like to repeat that.”
Learn to accept any response (or a lack of one)
Asking a girl out over text shouldn’t be an overly stressful experience. In order to make it less stressful, you need to learn to accept any response you get from her once you ask her out.
If she says yes, of course, you won’t have any problems accepting that.
However, if she says no or something like: “I’m afraid I don’t have time for dating at the moment,” what would your reaction be?
Would you insist that she tell you exactly why she doesn’t want to go on a date with you or something of the sort?
My humble advice to you is: Leave it be. If she says no, you should be grateful instead because she’s being honest with you. Instead of wasting time on her, you will be able to date someone who will reciprocate.
Trust me, there’s nothing better than that!
What To Do If She Ghosts You After Asking Her Out?
If you follow the above tips, the chances are really small that something like this will happen. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned so far, it is the following: You can never be too sure.
When a girl decides to ignore you, I can imagine a big black question mark hovering over your head as you’re entering the realm of overthinking.
The only thing you can think of is: “It’s me. I ruined everything. Perhaps I should have asked her out in a different way that is more subtle or more direct. Why is she not answering me? Is it so hard to simply say yes or no?”
So, what to do if the girl you just asked out over text ignores you completely and doesn’t text back?
First of all, no, it is not you. If you’ve done everything right, there’s nothing you should worry about. When that happens, the first step is to stop overthinking and stop texting her for at least a day.
If you think that texting her 24/7 will make her chase you or notice you, you’re wrong. So, after a day has passed, you can send her just one more text.
You can text something like: “Hey, I’m wondering whether you’ve seen that last text?”
If her reply is: “I’m so sorry, I was busy…” then you know she was not ghosting you but she was actually busy.
But if she continues ignoring your text, then you know what to do.
It’s time to call a dating coach! Joking! (But you can still consider that option as well.)
If she continues ignoring you, then you do NOTHING. You forget that you ever texted her and you move on.
You keep your mind occupied with other, more productive things until you stumble upon a girl who is more than interested to text you back and go on a date with you.
When it comes to asking a girl out over text, the main thing you should pay attention to is being creative, which means making things interesting.
If you’re able to make her smile over text, she will be able to imagine how much she would enjoy dating you (and that’s how you’ll get a girlfriend). If she sees that you’re different from the rest, she will want to get to know you better.
To achieve that effect, you need an interesting, unique approach.
Whichever one of the above text examples you choose, you can be sure that she will be impressed with your choice of words.
And in case she isn’t, trust me, there are plenty of other girls who would be more than happy to be asked to go on a date with you!