So, pay special attention to their answer because you might be surpriseSo, you met someone on a random dating site (like Tinder), via mutual friends, in a library or someplace else and now you’re preparing for your first date with them.
Woohoo! I can imagine the level of excitement that’s overwhelming your mind and body because first dates are not like any other dates.
Lord knows that first dates can be really awkward but at the same time, so exciting because everything’s new and the idea of learning some interesting things about that one special person is really appealing.
You can’t wait for the moment to finally meet them but at the same time, you’re anxious and stressed about all those details that you need to pay attention to (especially if you’re an overthinker like myself).
The preparation process looks something like this:
You suddenly realize that you’ve got nothing to wear even though your wardrobe is full of everything (this is especially true for women—speaking from experience).
It’s a syndrome called ‘wardrobe full of clothes but nothing to wear’.
You don’t want to appear too casual but you also don’t want to be dressed like someone who is attending a ball.
So, after a few hours (in the best case scenario) of contemplating, trying and retrying clothes and seeking other people’s opinions, you finally find that one perfect outfit for your first date.
After that comes another annoying part that consists of all those details regarding your make-up and other elements (if you’re a woman), your type of beard (if you’re a man) and your hairstyle.
Again, you don’t want to overdo it but you also don’t want your date to think that you haven’t really made an effort.
And when you finally think that you’re ready (even though this was just a trial because your real date is in a few days), you realize that there is a bigger issue than your physical appearance and that is date ideas and more importantly, things to talk about on a first date.
As with clothes, you don’t want to overdo your first date conversation by asking too sensitive first date questions or ruining the moment with awkward ice-breakers.
You want to avoid potential awkward silences at all costs and keep the conversation going because you know that you wouldn’t survive the amount of anxiety in the air while sitting next to a stranger and listening to the sound of silence.
So, what to talk about on the first date?
You want to ask the right questions that will tell you whether you share common interests, what kind of person they are and you also want to make sure that a second date happens (of course, if you really like the guy/girl).
You don’t want your conversation to be dull but you want to have an interesting conversation with your date so that they see how witty and inspiring you truly are!
To help you with all that, here is a list of interesting things to talk about on a first date and impress your date, aka potential partner. So, let’s see!
Things to talk about on a first date
1. How are you feeling today/how was your day?
This is a great first date conversation starter because it reflects on the present and things they’ve done recently.
It will be an easy one for your date to answer and it will tell you about their current mood, their lifestyle and things that they’re focused on at the moment.
And best of all, after they answer it, they will most likely ask you the same question.
So, you have all the time in the world to prepare in advance for it and impress them with your positive outlook!
2. What do you like most about living here?
Asking your date about the things they like most about living there is a good first date question and you can’t go wrong with it.
This question will reveal their preferences, activities and lifestyle.
Also, it will let you know whether you share the same perspective about the place you live in and whether you have some common activities that you could do together.
For example, if they like spending time at a certain place that you also like, make sure to let them know so that you have a second date guaranteed.
3. If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
Driven by my personal experience, there are two types of people in the world: couch potatoes and adventurists.
The truth is there are also people who are stuck somewhere in-between but you get the idea.
So, by asking this question, you’ll definitely know which type of people they belong to.
If they answer nowhere (or something similar that doesn’t really give you a specific answer) then you know their levels of adventure, excitement and ambition are really low.
But if they give you a specific answer explaining where they would want to go and why, then you know that they have dreams and they’re an adventurist by nature.
If you see that spark in their eyes while describing their favorite place in the world, then you can be sure that they’re a unique and inspiring individual with their own dreams and wishes.
4. Who do you spend the most time with?
They say that we are who we hang out with. So, finding out with whom your date is spending most of their time will be a valuable thing to know for sure.
If the person they spend the most time with is their family member, their best friend or someone else, then you can ask a follow-up question to describe that one person.
Learning about that one person will help you understand your date because there’s a reason why they spend so much time with them.
They probably have many things in common, so all you need to do is pay attention to the words coming out of your date’s mouth and you’ll figure it out real quick!
5. What’s your dream job?
Instead of asking your date about their current job, asking them about their dream job is a better alternative because it will encompass both.
If their current job is their dream job (even though the likelihood of that is not that high), they’ll tell you that.
Most importantly, you will learn what they’re into and what they’re passionate about and what kind of person they are.
There are people to whom a dream job would be sitting and doing nothing, while there are also those who see a dream job as an opportunity to create, help others, improve things or invent something new.
You definitely want to avoid the first type of people and focus on the second one because you don’t want to end up being in a relationship with a couch potato who lacks ambition and motivation.
See also: 6 Amazing First Date Ideas
6. What’s on your bucket list?
Bucket lists are always so much fun! It’s really exciting to learn about your date’s wishes, dreams, fantasies and goals.
From a bucket list, you can learn a lot about their true personality and priorities.
And you can also learn whether you share some things on your bucket list which means one thing—doing it together one day (or at least fantasizing about doing that one thing from your bucket list together until it really happens).
Now, if your date doesn’t have a bucket list and they can’t remember a single thing they would want to do in life, then you know that you’re dealing with someone who is not that enthusiastic about life and its charms.
7. What’s something I would never guess about you?
This is definitely one of the best things to talk about on a first date. If you want your date to tell you something really exciting and interesting about them, then you should ask this question!
This is an indirect way of asking them to tell you something unusual about them, something that makes them unique and accentuates their personality.
And it could be just about anything. From a specific taste in music or movies or their secret hobby to some big achievements that they don’t really brag about.
Also, you have to be ready to answer this one, too, because chances are that they will ask you the same thing!
8. What’s your favorite thing to do outdoors?
Is it going for a walk, picnics, jogging, sitting in a park or some other activity?
Finding out about your date’s favorite thing to do outdoors will let you know which activity they prefer most.
If it’s jogging, then you know they’re probably living a healthy lifestyle and trying to be active as much as possible.
If you’re into the same thing, it’s a perfect opportunity to let them know, so that you can share your ideas regarding such a lifestyle which is another topic guaranteed to keep both of you entertained.
9. What are some of your favorite TV shows/movies/songs/podcasts?
I always find this one question especially important because it would be a real pain in the ass if two people had difficulties agreeing which movie or TV show to watch when Netflix and chill time comes or which concert to attend.
Also, a person’s taste in music or movies says a lot about them as well.
If they’re a hopeless romantic, they’ll prefer romantic comedies or something of the sort and if they’re listening to some specific music genre you have never heard of, then you know they definitely don’t follow trends and pay more attention to nourishing their own tastes.
10. What social media network do you spend the most time on and why?
In times of advanced technology and social media, there isn’t a single person out there who hasn’t heard about the charms of this modern media.
Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Tumblr, Snapchat, you name it.
Each one of these social media networks is unique and offers different experiences.
Asking your date about what social media network they spend the most time on will tell you where you can find them.
If you want to stay up to date with their latest stories and posts, all you need to do is follow or add them on that social network and enjoy chatting and being a part of their virtual life.
11. Tell me about your family
Our family is an important part of our life and they have greatly influenced us becoming the person who we are today.
Asking your date to tell you about their family is basically asking them to tell you about their past, childhood and the people who raised them.
The type of the family they grew up in has shaped their values, mindset and perspective on certain things.
So, learning about their family will help you decipher what kind of an individual they are, which values they support and much more.
12. How do you usually spend your free time?
This is another alternative to asking about their passions and the things they’re interested in.
We all spend our free time differently. Some of us prefer watching Netflix until our eyes start feeling sore, others prefer hanging out with their friends, reading a good book and so on.
If your date usually spends their free time hanging out with their friends and family and outdoors, chances are they’re an extrovert by nature.
And if they usually spend their free time reading a book, gaming or similar, then they might be a legit introvert.
Both personalities have their own charms and if you’re the opposite of them this doesn’t mean that you won’t get along. After all, you know what they say: ‘opposites attract’.
13. What’s your idea of a perfect date?
We all have different preferences and ideas of a perfect date, so it would be really exciting to know your date’s perspective on that, right? You want to know whether they’re a romantic soul or the opposite of that.
So, if they describe their perfect date as one of the following: a walk on a beach at the time of a beautiful sunset, dinner with scented candles, on a desert island or another exotic place, then you can be sure that they’re the embodiment of a hopeless romantic.
And who knows, perhaps your idea of a perfect date will match their idea, so why not try it out on the second date (if possible)?
14. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
Ah, those childhood memories… When I think of my own childhood memories, I have this mosaic of funny situations in my head because a child’s world is a source of unlimited fun and adventures.
Childhood memories are full of funny stories and some of them are so embarrassing or hilarious that you don’t want to share with just anyone, unless they insist, of course.
So, I bet you’re dying to hear your date’s favorite childhood memory so that you can continue sharing memories and probably die laughing.
Also, by sharing all these memories from your childhood, you will learn a lot about each other and connect on a deeper level.
15. What’s your best friend like?
This one’s a little bit of a tricky question (but of course, your date will not know that).
By asking them about their best friend, you will literally be asking them to talk about themselves.
How? Because the person they hang out with most is the person who is most similar to them.
After all, they are their best friend for a reason. They support their perspective on things and their personality, they share everything with them and they are an important part of their life.
So, pay attention to what they say about their best friend because the majority of that can apply to them as well!
16. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Talking about pet peeves is always fun because most of the time they are hilarious and totally random.
Other people’s pet peeves are usually those things that you never pay attention to (unless it’s your pet peeve as well).
So, by finding out what’s that one thing (or a few things) that annoy your date, you will be prepared in the future not to do something they would find extremely annoying.
And I can guarantee you that you will both laugh your ass off when talking about this one, so make sure not to miss it!
17. Do you have any pets?
If your date has a pet (or pets), then you know for sure they’re an animal lover.
Now, this doesn’t mean that they’re not an animal lover if they don’t have any pets. You can conclude from the conversation and the type of their answer whether they like animals or not.
And if you yourself prefer specific pets like cats, finding out that you share this one thing with your date will mean a lot to you. After all, there’s a reason why people are often categorized as being a dog person or a cat person.
Belonging to a certain category means having specific characteristics when it comes to one’s personality!
18. Is there anything you’re passionate about?
Asking this one question will tell you whether your date has any passions that are perhaps their hobbies or secret talents that you don’t know about.
Most importantly, you will know whether your date is driven by passion because passionate people are said to be like that in every aspect of their life (which means in bed as well).
Such people are the biggest source of unlimited inspiration, creation and fun!
19. If you had to pick three things to take with you to a desert island, what would they be?
This is a legit way to find out about a person’s most valuable possessions without really asking them that directly, so you definitely don’t want to miss that one!
Asking your date about the three things that they would take with them to a desert island will tell you which three things are most important to them.
These things are their priority and they literally wouldn’t survive without them, so they have to carry them everywhere where they go. So, pay special attention to their answer because you might be surprised!
20. If you had one wish, what would it be and why?
We all have that one wish we want to make true but for some reason, we haven’t succeeded with it yet or it’s something that’s out of our power.
That one wish is usually connected with an unfulfilled dream, priority or passion and something that matters a lot to us.
So, by asking your date about this one, you will know what their priority is—something that they want so hard but haven’t achieved yet.
Given that you’re meeting for the first time, avoid topics about your past relationships, money, religion, sexual experience and politics.
Don’t ask such questions because they would be too heavy (too much for the first meeting) and potentially awkward.
So, of all the above first date tips and ideas, I would especially accentuate this one:
Be genuine, be yourself!
Don’t try too hard to impress them because you’re not at an audition and don’t ask too many questions at the time or in a mechanical manner as if they’re at a job interview.
Just relax, have fun and enjoy every second of your first date.
Also, make sure to pay attention to their body language and mix it all up with a little bit of teasing and playful banter!