Being ignored is definitely the worst, most confusing and painful feeling in the entire world. It leaves very bad effects on our mental health that are even more intense if it comes from our loved ones .
The truth is, as human beings, we are all social creatures and we all simply long for that feeling of being accepted. We all want to belong to someone, to be a part of a group or a gang.
We all want to have that small circle of people who accepts us the way we truly are. We all want to have that small number of people who will simply get us.
However, that doesn’t mean that we should change who we are just to become a part of someone’s gang. You should never change your identity to fit someone’s standards or some stupid rules that a particular social situation demands.
That’s how you’ll only lose what should be most sacred to each and every one of us; yourself. At the end of the day , that’s the only thing that should be important… To be able to love, embrace, respect, and accept yourself no matter what others think about you .
What Does It Mean When You’re Being Ignored?
When your loved one ignores you or excludes you from their life completely and without any proper reason, it hurts as if they’re tearing your heart piece by piece and then walking on it.
It really has the power to manipulate you into thinking and behaving in a way you would never normally do. Your opinion of yourself changes, and you simply start wondering if maybe you’re the problem.
You start thinking that maybe you’re too clingy and needy, and that’s what made the other person behave in this way towards you. It completely damages your self-image and makes you doubt yourself.
I know that ostracism and the feeling of being excluded hurt more than anything else. But, I also know that nothing is worth losing your self-respect or the faith that you should always have in yourself.
Also, ignoring people is a trait of narcissists and soulless human beings who are simply unable to maintain a healthy relationship with another human being . Just let it go because that is what it says about them, and how you react to their silent treatment will tell about you.
What Being Ignored Does To A Person
The fact is that the silent treatment is harming our well-being in general. It provokes negative feelings and leaves such bad consequences on both our emotional and mental health .
It can ruin a person’s self-esteem completely. It can also lead to a condition called pistanthrophobia (the fear of trusting people), which will make it impossible for a person to maintain any kind of emotional connection or relationship.
Below are a few consequences that ostracism can leave on a person’s health. Take a deep breath and pay close attention to each and every one of them.
Your self-esteem will be shaken
The feeling of being ignored hurts us all deeply, and that’s a fact. Whether it’s coming from your best friend , a family member, or a co-worker, it’s totally irrelevant because it still hurts.
The silent treatment can also be pretty confusing, and you’ll probably be looking for some answers. That hunt may lead you to the conclusion that maybe you’re the problem, which is, by the way, the worst possible thing you can conclude in this situation.
Then, you’ll start questioning your self-worth and self-esteem. You’ll slowly start killing yourself both mentally and emotionally with such thoughts and such wrong conclusions.
That social pain you’re feeling can also start the inner questioning of your own social skills, and it’ll slowly affect the relationship you have with yourself and all the other people in your life.
The greatest threat to mental health
Being ignored by a loved one is a huge threat to your mental and emotional health. It can leave so many negative consequences that you won’t be able to fix for years, and some of them may even be permanent.
As I already said, your self-esteem will suffer for sure. Your social pain will harm your mental health even more than you’ll be aware of.
The silent treatment can also have significant effects on your day-to-day life and the way you connect with other people. It’ll leave you with many insecurities and self-doubts that will really make it hard for you to maintain a healthy relationship with another person.
It increases stress-levels…
When you feel excluded or ignored by a loved one , negative feelings start arising. You become overwhelmed by so many confusing, negative emotions and it starts affecting your everyday life.
When your stress levels increase, your body responds to anxiety and depression. You simply feel unable to focus and unmotivated to perform your everyday tasks and obligations.
Due to that anxiety, depression, or similar mental health disorder, you won’t be able to sleep well. Sleep deprivation can result in physical pain, and all of that will definitely leave very bad consequences on your physical health.
…which leads to more negative emotions
The link between stress and anger is very strong. Most people who are suffering from stress and going through some stressful situations become angry, frustrated, and very hostile.
It’s simply something that most of us can’t affect because we aren’t able to think clearly when we’re under some kind of stress. Our stressors keep piling up to the point that we are no longer able to handle them, and we simply react in an emotional outburst.
It’s also another proof of how the silent treatment negatively affects our mental health . Our self-esteem is under the attack of those frequent outbursts and, in most cases, it results in emotional lability.
Ignoring is simply a form of emotional abuse
Unfortunately, in most cases, when a person is ignoring you, it’s just a form of their manipulation. That’s how they want to control you, which is definitely a form of emotional abuse.
They use your honest feelings so they can have control over you to behave and do things that they want you to do. It can really leave deep emotional trauma and have a very negative impact on your mental health .
It’s not impossible to heal after being ignored or neglected by a loved one , but the fact is that it’ll leave indelible emotional traumas.
However, that doesn’t have to necessarily be a bad thing. Your trauma will stick to your soul as a huge scar that will remind you of all the pain you have to go through for the rest of your life.
It’ll also be there to always remind you how brave and strong a person you are. It’ll also be a great reminder of a lesson you learned… that you should never allow people to ignore or neglect you again.
Anyhow, those emotional traumas can be a huge barrier to your future relationships. That’s why you really need to go through the healing process slowly before you welcome a new person into your life.
Emotional pain is in sync with physical pain
When you feel any kind of emotional pain, your stress levels increase, which leaves some physical effects on your body such as headaches, a nervous stomach, rapid heartbeat, dizziness, and nausea.
There’s a tiny part of our brain called the anterior cingulate cortex whose primary task is to detect different levels of pain. When you’re struggling with the feeling of being ignored by people who’re close to you, this part immediately activates and results in provoking physical pain .
So, it’s perfectly normal if you feel any of the symptoms above. It just means that your heart, body, and mind are struggling hard with the emotional pain, and it has to reflect this in physical pain also.
One of the worst consequences that the feeling of being ignored can leave on a person is social phobia. This can really lead a person to the point that they are no longer able to maintain any kind of relationship.
Social anxiety disorder manifests in extreme fear when it comes to dealing with different social situations . A person with this mental disorder has trouble meeting new people, maintaining eye contact with their friends, and talking in front of a group of people.
It’s actually not that difficult to recognize someone who is dealing with social anxiety . Those people show insecurity signals through their body language and their behavior when they’re surrounded by other people.
It can manipulate you into doing something you wouldn’t normally do
When your emotions overwhelm you, it can really make you do things you would never do under normal circumstances… Things that you’ll probably regret afterward.
However, when we’re under such intense emotions, they don’t allow us to think clearly, and during those times, it’s difficult to control our emotions and listen to our mind.
That’s actually the most common mistake of most people. We allow our emotions to control us when we should actually own and control them.
It’s healthy and completely reasonable to express your emotions; however, you should never act out. Don’t allow yourself to be at the mercy of your own emotions. Remember, you have the power, you should be in control.
In the end, it’ll culminate in a toxic, codependent behavior
Most people who are being ignored by their loved ones seek validation from other people. They find someone else who will understand what they are going through and help them heal.
That pushes them into another toxic relationship where they develop a codependent behavior towards “the person who saves them”.
They simply find some kind of comfort in those people, and feel deep gratitude for their understanding and acceptance. They aren’t even aware that they’re jumping into a relationship that will leave even worse consequences on their well-being .
How do you respond to being ignored?
Dealing with the feeling of being ignored isn’t easy at all, especially if you can’t understand what is causing it. You can’t make your loved ones change their behavior towards you, but at the same time, you can’t break up with them forever because of the love you feel for them.
However, there are some things you can do that can definitely make dealing with this awful feeling a lot easier. Remember, you’re the only one who can help yourself heal and you’ll do it with the help of these tips below.
Acknowledge and accept your situation
The worst thing that a person who’s being ignored can do is deny that it’s happening to them. Denial can really make things even worse and your healing even more complicated.
I know it’s difficult to accept that your best friend or family member or even your loved one is ignoring you, but you really have to open your eyes and accept the truth for your own well-being .
Remember that it’s possible to recover after the silent treatment and move on with your life. However, it works only if you’re ready to come to terms with the facts and focus on your healing.
Take a step back
Before you confront the person who’s ignoring you, or actually before you try to confront them, you should take a step back and try to understand what made them behave this way.
You should try to understand what caused them to give you the silent treatment . Maybe, you aren’t the problem at all, but still, it would be good to know the causes before you start working on the issue.
Let the other person know how you feel
Even though your thoughts are completely messed up, you clearly know what you feel. You’re feeling sad, and you’re definitely feeling angry at the person who’s ignoring you without any reason.
Don’t ever suppress your emotions. Let out everything you feel because sooner or later, your emotions will come to the surface with or without your will.
You also have every right to confront the other side because their behavior is totally unfair and intolerable. Warn them that their behavior is ruining your relationship. If they don’t want to talk with you in person, you can confront them through social media .
It’s completely normal to feel a whole range of emotions…
Being ignored hurts, and it can put us on a real emotional rollercoaster. Whatever you’re feeling right now, trust me, all those emotions are completely normal and justified.
Accept all your negative emotions and own each and every one of them. Even though we would all want it more than anything else, you simply can’t command your heart to feel or not to feel something.
But, you should accept and process them all slowly
You need to come to terms with the situation you’re currently in and accept all your emotions. Also, you need to focus on your emotional health and process your feelings one by one.
Lean into your heart and identify your emotions. Trust me, there is something you can learn from each emotion you’re currently feeling, and you should focus precisely on those lessons.
Don’t ever judge yourself for your situation because that will provoke more negative emotions . You need to find a way to vent somehow. You really need to find a way to process all your emotions in the most healthy and productive way.
Do NOT overreact
If your loved one is giving you the silent treatment , you shouldn’t immediately conclude that it’s their way of ending things with you. It’ll lead you to some hasty decisions and actions that you’ll regret later for sure.
Give them time, and if they love you, they’ll come back with a good explanation for their behavior, and they’ll be begging on their knees for your forgiveness.
Even though that awful feeling of being ignored hurts like hell, you shouldn’t allow it to make you a drama queen. And, overreacting can make things even more complicated indeed.
Focus on your own well-being
You simply need to forget about the other person, and you should stop investigating their reasons for their behavior towards you. You should only focus on yourself and your own emotional and mental health .
Even though this might mean that you’re losing the other person forever, you should really focus on the only person who will never leave nor give up on you. You need to focus on yourself; give yourself time to grieve, and finally, to heal.
Simply let go of it
I know that this entire situation is provoking very uncomfortable, negative feelings, but you shouldn’t let those feelings control you. Overreacting and lashing out won’t fix your situation, and it definitely won’t make the other person change their behavior towards you.
You should only try to communicate with them in a healthy way and warn them of the effects their behavior has on your relationship.
If they continue to ignore you even after that, then things will be pretty clear; they don’t love you nor do they want to be a part of your life anymore.
You should make things easier for them and break up first. If someone directly shows that they don’t want you in their life, don’t humiliate yourself… get out of their life with dignity.
It would be great to have someone who’ll be there for you and help you cope with all of this. You should turn to a best friend or a family member and seek support from those people who truly love you.
You need to find a vent that would help you clear your thoughts and force your mind to stop worrying. Don’t allow the social pain to completely ruin your mental and emotional health.
On A Final Note
The feeling of being ignored by a person who means something to you has a really destructive effect on your mental health and on your well-being in general. It definitely leaves negative, long-lasting consequences on a person’s health that can’t be fixed so easily.
I’ve been in your place, and trust me, I get you honestly. I still have the emotional traumas, or ‘my scars’, as I like to call them to remind me of all the pain and struggling I went through.
However, I managed to get through it all on my own, and I’m sure you will also. Here are a few things that helped me cope with the silent treatment and I hope it’ll be helpful to you, too.
The most important advice for you is to never allow anyone to underestimate you and make you doubt yourself. If someone doesn’t want to see your value, you should break up with them and cut them out of your life because they truly don’t deserve to be a part of it.
I’m not saying that it was easy, but sometimes God puts us through some difficult times and brings some bad people into our lives to teach us that we should appreciate those people who bring nothing but happiness to our lives more.
It’s very comforting to know that you have a best friend or a family member who can help you get through it all and make your healing less painful, but even if you don’t have that one person, you have yourself, and that’s perfectly enough. Sometimes, you really need to be your own hero.