I’ll be honest with you: there is no universal answer to the question, “Do cheaters miss their ex?” Not all cheaters are the same, and not all affairs happen under the same circumstances.
Some adulterers move on with their lives without ever looking back. However, a lot of people end up missing the person they cheated on.
It’s pretty ironic since they’re the ones who caused the breakup and who didn’t consider their partner to be enough.
And now, when they’ve gotten exactly what they wanted, they start to miss them.
11 Reasons Cheaters Miss Their Ex
Why does this happen? What are the main reasons cheaters miss their ex?
1. Self-doubt
Here’s something every cheater will have a hard time admitting: they doubt their decision. They still haven’t reached the conclusion that they made a horrible mistake when they fooled around behind your back. Or, to be exact – they haven’t admitted this to themselves.
However, high levels of self-doubt are, without a doubt, present. They replay your entire relationship back and forth in their heads, trying to figure out where things went wrong.
But instead of just blaming themselves, as they should, they do their best to find the perfect excuse for their transgression.
You see, when they cheated on you, they thought it was the best thing they could do. When they walked away from your relationship, they had no doubts about whether they were doing the right thing.
Nevertheless, now when they started to feel your absence for the first time in their lives, they started missing you like hell. And this feeling made them doubt everything they did.
This type of cheater doesn’t regret what they did – at least, not yet. But they sure are getting there.
2. Nostalgia
Do cheaters miss their ex for real, or do they just feel nostalgia for the good old days?
Look, your relationship has been anything but perfect. It obviously wasn’t enough for your cheating ex; otherwise, he wouldn’t have searched for happiness outside of it.
However, a human being’s mind is a strange thing. We have a tendency to look at the past through rose-tinted glasses. Somehow, we manage to feel nostalgia even for the bad times in our lives.
That’s exactly what’s going on in your adulterer’s mind. They can’t help but remember the good old days.
All of a sudden, it’s like they forgot the reasons they cheated on you. They only feel nostalgia for the time when they fell in love with you.
And the truth is that they want those times back. They want the honeymoon phase to last forever, convinced that they wouldn’t cheat if that were the case.
3. Things didn’t work out the way they planned
When someone commits adultery, they think that they’re running away from a relationship that got stuck in a rut. They’re bored of living the same, monotonous life every day. And in most cases, they’re looking for some excitement.
Don’t get me wrong – this isn’t an excuse for what they did. I’m only trying to explain what was going on inside their heads.
And they sure do get that thrill. In the beginning, their new relationship was all rainbows and flowers.
But what happens when this new romance becomes similar to the one they escaped? What happens when they start facing constant arguments, trust issues, and other problems?
Well, that’s when they realize they miss you. They realize that things didn’t go as planned and that they’ve made the biggest mistake of their lives.
It looks like they haven’t managed to build a healthy relationship with yet another person. Hmm, whose fault could that possibly be? LOL.
4. They want your forgiveness
No matter how ruthlessly they’ve behaved, deep down, your cheater knows that they left you heartbroken. They might act like they don’t care about hurting you, but deep down, they know that this was the wrong thing to have done.
And they’re sorry for the way things went. No, this doesn’t mean that they want you back, especially if they’re happy in their new relationship.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t even mean that they’re sorry for committing adultery in the first place. The bottom line is that they’re sorry for hurting you.
They have no romantic feelings for you anymore, but they’re still human beings with some conscience.
In this case, they don’t miss you in the way you assume they do. They’re haunted by what they did, and that prevents them from being happy.
Basically, they’re terribly sorry for breaking your heart, and they want you to know that. This person wants your forgiveness.
Should you forgive them?
Look, nobody is telling you that you must forgive your cheater. What they did was terribly wrong, and the last thing they deserve from you is compassion.
However, sometimes it’s a good idea to forgive. Forgiveness will definitely make you a better person. It will help you get rid of your demons.
It will help you be less angry and resentful. It will be beneficial for your mental health, that’s for sure.
But hey, the important thing is to do everything at your own pace. Don’t let anyone push you into forgiving them – do it if and when you’re ready.
5. You’re more convenient
When a cheater tells you they miss you, you think to yourself that they’ve finally realized what they lost. The other woman or man they’re with now can’t possibly give them what they need. Besides, this is proof that they love you and that this was nothing but a huge mistake.
Okay, I understand why you think this way. At the end of the day, you really want things to turn out like this.
However, if a cheater wants you back, it doesn’t have to mean that they’re doing it because they still love you. In some cases, you’re just more convenient for them, and coming back to you would make their life a hell of a lot easier.
The other woman (or a man) doesn’t give a damn about their needs. They don’t take care of them the way you did.
6. They miss their family
You and your ex-wife or husband have kids together. And even though you have no problem with them seeing the kids, they still feel left out.
Now they feel left out of your family, and they can’t stand that.
But is this possible only if you have children? What if it was just the two of you? Well, that fact didn’t make you any less of a family.
The truth is that they don’t necessarily miss you as a romantic partner. Maybe they miss everything else they had in you: a family member and a best friend.
They obviously didn’t succeed in building a home with the other woman or man. They might still be in a relationship with them, but they don’t see them as their family. And they probably never will.
7. Karma got to them
Do cheaters miss their ex when they get a taste of their own medicine? Hell yeah.
Karma got to your ex, and they’re going through the same heartbreak you felt. It looks like their new girlfriend or boyfriend cheated on them as well.
You didn’t do anything to get your revenge. However, sooner than you might have hoped, they experienced the same pain. And now, they know exactly how you felt.
This made them realize what they had done. And it made them miss you.
After all, you’re the only person they have no trust issues with – the only person who would never betray them. You were the only human being in their lives who never did them any harm.
Well, what can you do about it? That’s right, absolutely nothing. You know what they say: karma is a bitch only if you are.
8. They’re lonely, and you’re their last resort
All those women (or men), all those clubs, and dating apps are clearly not enough. They don’t necessarily have to go to bed alone every night, but the company they have can’t fill the void inside their heart.
It looks like everyone abandoned them. Well, at least everyone that matters – I’m not counting the one-night stands they have.
Their best friends, family members, and everyone is judging their behavior. They have no one to talk to. Nobody seems to understand them the way you did.
This person has nobody to go to. They don’t have anyone to call in the middle of the night when the despair gets to them.
I hate to break it to you, but this doesn’t mean much, and it actually sounds better than it is. This is nothing but a sign that you’re their last resort – the person they go to when everyone else abandons them.
9. Something reminded them of you
Do cheaters miss their ex, or do they just think of them in certain moments? In most cases, it’s the latter.
Regardless of the way the breakup happened, you and your ex spent a lot of time together, and you shared some beautiful moments. It doesn’t mean that they still love you just because they think of you every now and then.
Maybe they heard a song you used to dance to. Or they saw someone who looked just like you when you first met. Maybe someone asked them about you, and that was when they lost it.
Either way, the point is that this person missed you at a certain moment. But they’re not missing you all the time.
10. They’re jealous
Okay, so you did everything by the book. You went no contact the moment you found out about the cheating, and you never looked back.
You went through a massive heartbreak – there is no doubt about that. However, you never allowed them to see the pain that’s been consuming you.
If someone asked or checked out your posts and statuses on social media apps, everyone would assume that you’re having the time of your life.
You’re going out with your friends, started working out, you’re partying and traveling. You’ve even gotten back into the dating pool. Basically, you live as if your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend ever existed.
And that’s exactly what’s killing them. They’re jealous of these new people in your life, especially if they assume that you’ve gotten into a new relationship. And this jealousy makes them miss you more than ever.
Why are they jealous?
Does this mean that you’re their only true love? Hell no! This is just a red flag that your ex’s ego is broken.
They’ve always looked at you as their possession. And they can’t believe that you had the courage to move on with your life after they betrayed you in the worst possible way.
I mean, what did they expect? That you’d cease to exist just because they couldn’t keep it in their pants? LOL.
11. You’re their comfort zone
All they wanted was to escape the boring monogamous relationship they had with you. They risked it all and stepped out into the unknown.
And they had their share of fun. But now, when the adrenaline is gone, the cheater realizes something: they desperately want to go back to their comfort zone – to the relationship they had with you.
You’re the only person in the world who makes them feel at ease. Your love feels like home to them.
You’ve had no trouble letting go. You left them to go out into the world, looking for something new, for something that would make them feel alive.
However, once they did that, they realized that they wanted to go back to feeling safe. They want to go back to you, but for all the wrong reasons.
What does this mean?
No, this is not your dream come true. This doesn’t mean that you’re their true love. On the contrary – they want you back because they’re certain that you won’t hurt them.
They know what to expect in your boring, monogamous relationship. There is no fear, no anticipation… they’re safe. So do you really want someone to be with you because of this?
12. They want a second chance
Do cheaters miss their ex for real, or is there always something else hidden behind it? Well, I have to admit that a small portion of adulterers without a hidden motif do exist – all they want is a second chance.
Somewhere along the road, this person realized they couldn’t live without you. It was hard for them to admit this, but you’ve been their soulmate from the first day you two met. You’re the one, and no one else can take your place.
Even though you might not believe them, they really are telling the truth. The guilt is eating them alive, and all they want is your forgiveness.
They want things to go back to the way they used to be. And they’re ready to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Here they are, begging you just to give them a chance to show you that they’ve changed.
Will you give it to them? Well, you’re the only one who can make that call.
13. You destroyed their self-esteem
What did you do when you found out your ex was cheating on you? Did you make the biggest drama, fight the other woman/man, and beg your SO not to leave you?
Or did you handle it with dignity? Did you wish them good luck and never look back, even though you were broken on the inside?
If this is the case, you crushed their self-confidence. You showed them that you can make it without them just fine and that you don’t need them in your life.
Of course, they expected you to be destroyed. They expected you to show anything besides indifference.
And now, when you hit them with a cold face, they suddenly start missing you.
Trust me, this is not love – it’s their broken ego. They just want to prove that they can have you whenever they want.
Do Cheaters Regret?
Yes, cheaters are likely to regret their affairs. But here’s the harsh truth: in most cases, they don’t regret cheating.
They don’t regret meeting this other person, sleeping with them, let alone falling in love with them. As far as that part is concerned, they would probably do it all over again. I mean, they did it because they wanted to – nobody forced them to cheat.
However, they do regret hurting you. They do regret getting into a new relationship that didn’t turn out to be what they expected. They do regret getting caught.
And there is a big difference between these regrets.
How Do Cheaters Feel After Cheating?
If you’re wondering how a cheater feels after cheating, the answer is that it all depends on the person.
Some cheaters feel a rush of adrenaline going through their veins. They’ve succeeded, once again. They feel like a superhero who went through with a secret mission and didn’t get caught by the enemy.
At the same time, their self-esteem blows out of proportion. They’re not only attractive and desirable, but they’re also capable, sneaky, smart, and cunning. What a combination! People who feel this way after cheating are usually narcissists.
On the other hand, some adulterers face incredible shame, fear, anxiety, and guilt after being unfaithful. They’re ashamed for not being able to control their urges. They are ashamed for not knowing better and for betraying their principles.
They feel guilty for your broken heart. They feel guilty for hurting the person who loved them most, for doing harm to a good man or a woman who gave them their trust.
Some cheaters feel anxiety and fear of getting caught. They’re certain that their SO will find out about their affair and walk out on them right away.
Do People Who Cheat Still Love Their Partner?
There are two opposing opinions regarding this question. Some say the answer is yes, while others are opposed to it.
Someone who loves you doesn’t cheat on you. Someone who loves you won’t lay eyes on another person.
In fact, they’d rather spend the rest of their life alone than with someone else. They couldn’t and wouldn’t break your heart, even if their life depended on it.
At least, that’s how things should be, right? Well, sadly, in most cases, this sounds like a fairytale. And real life is nothing like a fairytale.
In real life, people cheat on the people they love. In real life, people love their partners and, despite that, visit dating sites to find a new girlfriend or boyfriend, go to social media and like other people’s pics, or go clubbing to flirt with someone they’ve met for the first time.
Lack of romantic love is not the only reason people cheat. A lot of people do it because they crave physical satisfaction, some because of their insecurities, and some cheat in a moment of weakness. But in all these scenarios, cheaters still love their primary partner.
To Wrap Up:
Why did you want to know the answer to the question, “Do cheaters miss their ex?” Be honest!
Is it because your cheating ex-boyfriend or girlfriend shows signs they miss you? So, what if they do?
I hope you’re not thinking of taking your ex back just because they’ve shown some signs of remorse. Why didn’t they think of the consequences of their actions in time?
Please, have some self-respect and don’t give them a chance to put you through another heartbreak because they will do it again if you let them! Just remember all the pain you went through the last time!
