There is absolutely nothing wrong with picking up a random guy at a bar. You take him home, and tomorrow, you act as if nothing has happened.
Come on. It’s the year 2021 – we’re perfectly capable of being physically intimate with someone who will look the other way the next time we run into each other in the street.
Him not calling back ever again isn’t a big deal, right? We enjoyed ourselves, and then we both continued with our lives.
At least, that’s what we keep telling ourselves. We put a lot of effort into being like men. We try hard to teach our hearts not to get attached and broken so easily.
Wouldn’t that be perfect? Wouldn’t it be great if you could have some fun with a guy you like without any emotional consequences?
Sadly, things don’t always work out like that. As much as you try not to give it a second thought, you’re always left wondering.
Will he call? Was I just a fling to him? When will he reach out? Is he thinking about me?
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not only referring to one night stands here – this was just an example. I’m talking about all the men who were gone from your life in the blink of an eye.
Nevertheless, the truth is that they never made you any promises.
You weren’t exclusive, so you’re convinced that you don’t have the right to be mad. You two didn’t put any labels on it, so you think they were in no obligation to stick around.
The worst part is that all the red flags were there. From the very first moment you met them, deep down, you knew very well that they weren’t here to stay.
But you tried anyhow. You put effort into these relationships that weren’t going anywhere.
You were giving your attention to someone who only saw you as a stop along the way, and you expected forever from men who only saw you as temporary.
No, this doesn’t mean that you’re not enough. It just means that you kept giving yourself to the wrong men.
To the men who were gone the moment they got what they wanted from you. To the men who pretended to be emotionally broken but were actually jerks from the start.
You were giving yourself to the guys who weren’t ready to commit and whose only goal was to use your heart, body, and mind.
To the guys who saw you as their toy and who threw you away the moment their little game was over.
You wasted years of your life on immature boys who didn’t know what they wanted. On men whose call and text you had to desperately wait for and on guys who kept giving you breadcrumbs of their affection.
You settled for men who refused to reciprocate your effort. For guys who treated you like their second choice and who were never fully devoted to your relationship.
And let’s face it: you need to take a part of the blame – the fact that you were wasting your sunsets with men who you knew would be gone by the next sunrise.
The fact that you were looking for love in all the wrong places and from all the wrong people.
Look, I’m no Judge Judy. I’m not advising you against casual flings because they’re inappropriate, or because other guys won’t see you as wife material, or some crap like that.
I’m begging you to save your heart and body for the ones who deserve you. You’re a whole package, and you can’t allow any man to take just the parts of you they like.
It’s all or nothing at all. And if they can’t handle you entirely, they should be out of your life. In that case, they don’t deserve the privilege of your presence.
I’m begging you not to waste an ounce of your energy on someone who doesn’t have the intention of sticking around. Not to let a guy into your life until he proves to you that he deserves a place there.
Instead of settling for half-assed, almost, or one-sided relationships, wait for the real deal. Wait for a guy who is worthy of your love and attention.
Please, stop forcing anything. I’m not saying that you should sit in your bedroom and expect for your Prince Charming to come knocking on your door.
But you can’t expect things to work out when you’re the one going through all the blood, sweat, and tears while the other side couldn’t care less.
Hey, I promise you: real love will come. You will experience a genuine connection with a man who is cut out for you.
And in the meantime? Well, being single beats jumping from one relationship that is doomed to fail to another anytime.