15 señales de que su matrimonio acabará en divorcio
According to statistics, the divorce rate among couples is skyrocketing. I mean, just look around you – todas las personas que conoces ya se han divorciado o tienen previsto ponerse en contacto con un abogado de divorcios en breve.
Pero, ¿cuáles son los factores más comunes que predicen el divorcio? Y lo que es más importante, ¿en qué se diferencia su matrimonio?
Well, I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you can relate to most of these 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce, it’s not.
15 señales de que su matrimonio acabará en divorcio
Vea esto como una especie de “should I get a divorce?” quiz. Si marca la mayoría de estas casillas, su matrimonio está condenado al fracaso, le guste o no:
1. El amor no puede vivir donde no hay confianza
The first warning sign you’re heading to divorce is a falta de confianza between you and your spouse. Come on, you can’t have a healthy relationship with a friend or coworker if you don’t trust each other – let alone the person you share a life with.
No confiar en los demás tiene dos aspectos.
La primera es no tener confianza en ellos. You can’t rely on them when you need their help.
You don’t know if they’ll be there to pick up the pieces and if they won’t back out on you when you’re going through a rough patch.
Basically, you’ve both forgotten about those “through thick and thin” vows. Illness, mental health issues, substance abuse problems, poverty, family drama? They’re not who you can rely on in any of these situations.
At the same time, you don’t trust that they’re telling the truth. You doubt every single word that comes out of their mouth. You question everything they say or do, and you have to double-check their every move.
Of course, let’s not forget that you don’t trust each other’s judgment-making skills. Your partner is not the one whose advice you’ll ask for simply because you don’t think they are able to make a good choice.
2. 2. Violencia doméstica
Una de las 15 señales de que tu matrimonio acabará en divorcio es, sin duda, violencia doméstica. Pero, por favor, tenga en cuenta que hay muchos más tipos de abuso que sólo físico.
You may think that you two are good to go because you don’t hit each other. However, if there is abuso emocional implicados, también es un factor predictivo del divorcio.
Sí, eso incluye también el maltrato verbal. Si usted y su pareja mantienen decir cosas hirientes y ser mezquino to each other, it’s a clear sign to start searching for the best divorce lawyer.
And let’s not forget about sexual abuse either. Yes, that happens in marriages as well.
Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean they have the right to force you to sleep with them or do anything you don’t want to do in bed. Your body is yours, and your significant other must respect your boundaries.
3. 3. Falta de respeto
El respeto mutuo es una de las bases de un matrimonio sano. Hay que respeta a tu marido y esposa, y ellos deberían hacer lo mismo por ti.
Pero no hay ni rastro de respeto cuando se trata de su matrimonio infeliz¿lo hay? Bueno, ese es uno de los signos de divorcio.
¿Qué significa falta de respeto? Bueno, si tienes un marido irrespetuoso or wife, they’ll never take your needs into consideration. This goes hand in hand with a marido egoísta o esposa.
Your spouse will never treat you as their equal. On the contrary, they’ll always act as the dominante.
Según esto, deberías seguir su ejemplo y ser el sumisa, no questions asked. Nevertheless, please, don’t confuse this with bedroom dynamics.
I’m talking about the fact that your SO makes all the decisions without ever including you. They don’t respect your opinions and attitudes.
They don’t listen to what you have to say, and most of the time, they treat you like a little kid.
As if that wasn’t enough, they also use every chance they get to insult and humiliate you – especially in front of others.
4. Diferentes planes de futuro
Your presence might be near perfection, but the sad reality is that it’s time for a divorce attorney if you don’t have the same future plans.
No, I’m not talking about the fact that you want to go to New York and they want to visit the Caribbean this summer, so you can’t reach a compromise.
Let’s picture it this way: you want to move to a bigger city, but your spouse’s lifelong dream is to live in the countryside. You want to chase your career while your SO wants you to be a stay-at-home parent.
And don’t get me started about children. In fact, this is probably the biggest deal-breaker. This is something you two should have discussed before tying the knot, but if you haven’t, and it turns out that you have different worldviews, you’ve got yourself a problem.
There is no compromise here. It’s not like one person will agree to have kids against their will, or the other sentences themselves to a childless life, despite wanting children. In that case, both spouses, including the children, will end up miserable.
That’s why divorce is the only solution to dejarlo.
5. Visiones del mundo incompatibles
If two married people don’t share important world views and have different opinions on significant matters that impact both of them and their lives together, that is a recipe for an unhappy marriage right there.
I’m not saying that you and your spouse must have the same taste in music to make your marriage work. Despite being a team, you two are still two individuals, and it’s normal that you won’t agree on everything, nor should you.
However, let’s say that one person is strictly religious and the other wants nothing to do with spirituality and wants to enjoy their earthly life without any limitations?
¿Y si uno quiere vivir con su familia ampliada y el otro se harta de ellos mientras está de vacaciones, por no hablar de nada más?
The examples are endless, but I’m sure you see where I’m going. At the end of the day, two married people should at least have similar worldviews and shared moral values for their marriage to work.
6. Falta de intimidad física
Look, I’m not saying that good sex is what a successful marriage is all about. However, the tasa de divorcios among married couples who don’t sleep together is immensely high. After all, your bedroom activities are what differentiates you from two roommates or best friends who just live together.
It’s one thing if this is just a phase. Nevertheless, si su el matrimonio se queda sin sexo, it’s definitely time for a marriage counselor.
Pero falta de intimidad física doesn’t only mean that you two aren’t having sex. It also includes a falta de afecto, such as not sleeping together (in a literate sense of the word), no kissing, no cuddling, no holding hands, no hugging…
There is, without a doubt, something hidden behind these behavior patterns, and if you don’t work on it in time, it will definitely become one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
7. Couples therapy doesn’t work
When they go through a crisis they clearly can’t resolve by themselves, responsible married couples go to marriage counseling. And that is the right thing to do. Actually, visiting a marriage counselor is probably the best thing you can do to salva tu matrimonio.
Pero ¿qué ocurre cuando la terapia de pareja te abre los ojos y te muestra que tu marriage isn’t worth saving¿A pesar de todos sus esfuerzos? En ese caso, no hay más remedio que dejarlo.
I mean, you’ve tried it all, including separación. You’ve followed all the consejos matrimoniales que su terapeuta familiar le ha dado, pero nada ha funcionado. En este punto, la terapia se ha convertido en una tortura.
It’s like you’re giving CPR to someone who’salready dead – nothing beneficial is going on, nor will it!
8. Infidelidad no perdonada
You’re probably wondering why I didn’t write just infidelity without the unforgiven part? The answer lies in the fact that some married couples manage to superar la infidelidad y salvar su matrimonio a pesar de que suceda.
Pero si sabe que su mujer o el marido te engaña and you two just continue living as if nothing is happening, it’s one of the 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce.
I am not only talking about physical infidelity here. It’s the same if one of you is having an emotional affair. This is a major sign that something serious is missing in your marriage and that one of you isn’t ready to be loyal and faithful.
Infidelity is one of the most significant forms of betrayal. Some couples pretend that they’ve survived it, but they’ve actually just swept everything under the carpet.
Tarde o temprano, los viejos demonios vuelven a atormentarles. Resentimientoaparecen el rencor, la ira y el deseo de venganza.
When that happens, the marriage actually ended a while ago – the couple just hasn’t contacted their divorce attorney and thrown a parte de divorcio.
9. Son más felices solos que juntos
Nobody can argue against spending time alone or with other people when you get married. It’s not like you and your spouse became conjoined twins the moment you said “I do.”
However, quality time is crucial for a happy marriage. I’m not referring to you two sitting next to each other, watching TV, or scrolling through your phones.
I’m talking about having meaningful conversations and doing things that make you both happy. I’m talking about actually being present in each other’s lives.
Sadly, both you and your spouse are way happier alone than when you’re together. You literally run away from one another and look for excuses not to be in the same room.
This is a clear sign that you two can’t stand each other, and it’s possible that los odias y viceversa. ¿Hay realmente algo más que hablar en este matrimonio?
10. You’re already living like two single people
La cruda realidad es que usted y su cónyuge prácticamente sólo están casados sobre el papel, es decir, en teoría. En la práctica, vivís como dos solteros.
Both of you are unfaithful or at least have emotional affairs. You spend most of your time apart, and in many cases, you have no idea where your SO is or what they’ve been up to.
You don’t spend holidays together, you don’t visit each other’s families, and you don’t sleep together. If you have kids, you do your best to co-parent them, and that’s about it.
You don’t consult each other before making important life decisions, nor are you included in one another’s future plans. You’re not a team or a union – you are just two individuals who happen to live together.
11. No jealousy at all…
Your partner is not jealous of you and vice versa. Shouldn’t that be a good thing? Well, excessive jealousy is not healthy – everyone knows that, but it’s impossible not to be jealous at all, either. At least, it’s not possible if there are any feelings left.
I’m not talking about the fact that your SO trusts you. It’s one thing that you know they wouldn’t cheat on you even if their life depended on it.
It’s not like that with the two of you. It’s just that you don’t care if they have an affair.
You don’t care if your wife or el marido mira a otra persona, and you wouldn’t care if they actually cheated on you either.
Actually, deep down, you’re praying that they’d find someone else so they could give you a break or so you could use it as an excuse to finally make the decision to get a divorce.
At the same time, your SO isn’t miedo de perderte either. They couldn’t care less if you’re flirting, texting, or even sleeping with someone else.
Have you two become only friends, or are things like this because you can’t stand each other anymore? I don’t know, but I know one thing: this is one of the major signs that divorce is near.
12. … or too much jealousy
Por otra parte, demasiado celos y posesividad aren’t healthy either. Your partner is not your parent, and you’re not a little child who needs to ask for their permission to go out with friends or do something fun without them.
Both you and your spouse must have a life outside of your relationship if you want your marriage to work. Not allowing each other to have friends, stalking each other’s social media profiles, and not respecting boundaries won’t get you anywhere.
Clinginess and neediness are not acceptable in a marriage. You might think that things are going great for now, but if you’re too focused on one another, your union is not sustainable. Tarde o temprano, uno de ustedes querrá recuperar su libertad.
If you plan on cheating, that’s exactly what you’re going to do, despite them constantly breathing down your neck. So, what exactly is the point of this celos que están arruinando tu relación?
13. Discusiones malsanas
Cada peleas de parejay las discusiones por sí solas no son signo de una relación enfermiza. Sin embargo, las discusiones pueden ser sanas. O, para ser exactos, deberían serlo.
Healthy couples know that it’s them against the problem, not one against the other. They learn a lesson from every fight and come up with a solution.
However, your fights are as toxic as your relationship. Your lack of communication skills have brought you to a point where you don’t solve one problem at a time.
En lugar de eso, esperas a que se acumulen y entonces explotas. O se pelean todo el tiempo y hacen un drama por cualquier cosa.
De cualquier forma, siempre acabas insultarse mutuamente y amenazando con demanda de divorcio. Vuelves a viejos asuntos sin resolver, y vas y vienes en círculos.
There is gaslighting, manipulation, yelling and even abuse. The worst part is that you never reach a conclusion – you make up in bed, or you just stop talking for days.
Ningún combate
Sin embargo, no luchar en absoluto tampoco es una buena señal. Uno de los socios es claramente evasivas y evitar cualquier tipo de comunicación, lo que incluye también las discusiones.
La falta de comunicación es lo que os ha metido en este lío. Tal vez os cueste expresaros, así que optáis por callar, esperando que el problema desaparezca por arte de magia.
Or what’s even worse – you have no intention of solving the problem because you couldn’t care less about your relationship. You have no desire to fix it, and you just let everything be the way it is until one of you is brave enough to walk away.
14. Os hace desgraciados a los dos
Dr. John Gottman, a couple’s therapist and relationship expert, claims that being unhappy in your marriage is actually the most important reason marriages end. Al fin y al cabo, todo se reduce a esta pregunta: ¿os hace desgraciados a los dos vuestro matrimonio?
Si la respuesta es afirmativa, no tiene sentido intentar luchar contra el divorcio.
I’m not saying that something “big” has happened in your marriage. Maybe there wasn’t abuse or infidelity included.
Nevertheless, at the end of the day, you don’t feel happy with your partner. Instead of improving the quality of your life, they’re doing the opposite.
Déjame decirte que vivir así te traerá serios problemas de salud mental tarde o temprano.
15. No más amor
Las personas que mantienen relaciones duraderas, por no hablar de los matrimonios, pierden las mariposas en la barriga al cabo de un tiempo. Caer en la rutina es bastante normal, y nadie espera que su matrimonio sea una montaña rusa de emociones después de años de estar juntos.
In fact, it’s healthier if that feeling of being in love transforms into a more peaceful kind of love that includes respect, trust, and loyalty.
Sin embargo, don’t confuse this with a complete falta de amor.
La verdad es que love por sí sola no basta para un matrimonio exitoso. Sin embargo, sigue siendo crucial.
When there is no love between you two, everything else is in vain. Many couples think it’s okay to settle for a matrimonio sin amor, but trust me – it’s not.
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life waking up next to someone you have no romantic feelings for. Sooner or later, one of you will get tired of this pathetic co-existence, and your marriage will fall apart.
¿Cómo saber realmente cuándo se ha acabado el matrimonio?
Tu matrimonio se acaba cuando tanto tú como tu pareja renunciáis a luchar por él y cuando uno de los dos hace algo imperdonable.
In the first case, you’re both tired of trying to revive something that’s been dead for some time. You crave the day when one of you will finally give up this charade and you’ll get your freedom back.
In the other case, you can try your hardest to forgive something your SO did, but deep down, you’re aware that they’ve crossed the line. You do your best to accept their apology, but every time you look at them, their sin appears in front of your eyes.
For some, this is abuse. For others, infidelity, and for some, it’s disrespect… It can actually be anything – the bottom line is that after this, things can never go back to the way they were before.
¿Qué son las señales de alarma en un matrimonio?
Deshonestidad, engaño en serieLa falta de comunicación, la falta de respeto, los problemas de confianza, permitir que otros interfieran en su relación y la falta de intimidad física son algunas de las señales de alarma más importantes a las que prestar atención en un matrimonio.
Cada persona tiene sus propios puntos débiles, pero ninguno de los mencionados anteriormente debe pasarse por alto.
¿Cómo saber si está abocado al divorcio?
You’re headed for divorce if you can’t stand to look at each other anymore, if there is no love present, and if every conversation you try to have ends in an argument. El divorcio se acerca si cada pequeña cosa que hace tu pareja te molesta (y viceversa).
Además, si prestas más atención a sus imperfecciones que a lo que antes te gustaba de ellos, es señal de que se acerca el divorcio.
¿Qué matrimonios acabarán en divorcio?
Las parejas que se casan por presión social, por dinero o sin quererse en general se divorciarán tarde o temprano. Lo mismo ocurre con esas parejas inmaduras que creen que el amor es lo único que importa y que se casan antes de comprobar su compatibilidad o conocerse bien.
Basically, every marriage that doesn’t have a balance between love and other things, such as trust and respect, will not last!
Para terminar:
Just because you can relate to all these 15 signs your marriage will end in divorce doesn’t make guardarlo totalmente imposible. I’ll be honest – if you’ve reached this point, it will be extremely difficult to revive it.
Sin embargo, donde hay voluntad, hay un camino. Si realmente crees que hay algo por lo que luchar, hazlo. Créeme, ¡esta es tu última oportunidad para hacerlo!
