Causas y signos de los problemas de confianza (+maneras probadas de superarlos)
Trust issues are a complicated matter and something that loads of people deal with. It’s a common relationship problem among many couples who don’t have the capacity to address it the right way.
If you find it impossible to trust people, you’ve come to the right place. If you read on, you’ll find out all the possible causes and symptoms of trust issues. Not only that: you’ll also get a detailed tutorial on how to deal with this problem in the healthiest way possible.
¿Por qué tengo problemas de confianza?
Cuestiones de confianza están conectados con su experiencia de vida anterior. Nunca aparecen sin una razón, y siempre están relacionados con tus traumas pasados.
It’s possible that you’ve been neglected, mistreated, abused, or traicionado en el pasado. En consecuencia, pierdes la fe en toda la raza humana y te cuesta confiar en nadie, ni siquiera en las personas con las que mantienes una relación estrecha.
Estas son las causas más comunes de los problemas de confianza.
1. Trauma en la primera infancia
Una de las primeras causas de los problemas de confianza proviene de la primera infancia. A esta edad, tu cuidador principal significa todo para ti.
They’re the most important person for a small child: someone you look up to and someone who sets a value system. It’s their job to provide you safety and comfort.
So, what happens when they fail in doing so? What happens when they’re the ones who put you in danger and show that they’re not trustworthy? ¿Y si fueras desatendida emocionalmente de niña?
You learn that those closest to you won’t fulfill your needs. Si su cuidadores abused you, didn’t give you enough love, safety, or comfort, what can you expect from the rest?
Eran tu ventana al mundo, y te mostraron que el mundo es un lugar que da miedo. ¿Qué otra opción te quedaba sino actuar en consecuencia?
2. Trauma relacional pasado
Your past relationships are the number one cause of your relationship trauma. It’s actually pretty simple:
Si has sufrido una infidelidad, esperas que tu próxima pareja también te sea infiel. Si abusaron de ti¿espera abusos en su nueva relación. The examples are endless, but I’m sure you get the point: your el viejo dolor es lo que te asusta.
This is especially true if you’ve experienced some of this trauma in your first serious relationship. In that case, you don’t know better.
You think that this is normal, and it’s how all relationships look. You’re always on the lookout waiting for a disaster to happen. These are all signs of relación TEPT.
Without being aware, you’ve adopted patrones de relaciones tóxicas as the only option. You might not be aware of it, but you’re dragging your emotional baggage along and it’s weighing you down.
3. Estilo de apego ansioso
I’m sure you’ve heard of different estilos de fijación. En resumen, existen cuatro estilos de apego diferentes: Seguro, ansioso-atento/preocupado, Despreocupado/evasivoy Temeroso-evasivo.
Well, if you’re struggling with trust issues, it’s likely that you have an estilo de apego ansioso.
I’ll be harsh with you here: you’re needy and have low autoestima. Se trata de un tipo de estilo de apego inseguro.
¿Qué relación tiene con los problemas de confianza?
You’re aterrorizada de ser abandonaday perder a un ser querido is your biggest nightmare. You’re constantly en busca de validación y la receptividad emocional de su pareja.
Isn’t that how we all feel? Well, yes, to a certain point. The problem with your style of attachment is that these fears and needs become irrational to the point where they control all of your meaningful relationships.
En pocas palabras, if you don’t get the amount of approval and security you wish for from a partner, your problemas de confianza explotará. You’ll immediately feel unloved and emotionally neglected.
Consequently, you assume that they’re being unfaithful, that they’re about to leave you, or that they’ve had enough of you. And, you know what’s the worst part? Nothing they say or do can change your mind.
5 señales de problemas de confianza
¿Cuáles son los problemas de confianza? ¿Son los celos o hay algún otro signos de problemas de confianza que deberías tener en cuenta? Estos son los síntomas más comunes con los que se enfrentan a diario las personas que luchan contra la desconfianza.
1. Pensar y preocuparse en exceso
Cuando sufres falta de confianza, piensas demasiado cada pequeño detalle de tu vida. Y no solo eso: también te preocupas en exceso.
You’re simply incapable of relaxing, going with the flow, and seeing where life will take you. Instead, it’s like there is this tiny voice in the back of your head that makes you plan literally everything ahead.
You worry about the past, even though you can’t change it. You worry about the future, including the things you can’t really impact.
At the end of the day, you don’t spend any time living in the presence and enjoying the moment.
Analizas cada palabra que te dice la gente. Diseccionas cada uno de sus movimientos, tratando de encontrar un significado oculto.
Pasas la mayor parte del tiempo preocupándote y dándole vueltas a las cosas en lugar de vivir. Intente dejar de pensar demasiado and you’ll see you’ll be better in no time.
2. Esperar el peor resultado posible
Do you know what’s the biggest problem about this overthinking of yours? It always brings you to the darkest scenario, no excuses.
Well, guess what… you’re not a born pessimist, you just need to learn how to build trust in others. Until that happens, you’ll keep expecting the worst possible outcome, no matter the situation.
Why do you do this? It’s actually your defense mechanism.
Supones que será más fácil que te rompan el corazón si lo veías venir. Si ocurren cosas negativas, ya las esperas y en parte incluso las has afrontado de antemano.
It won’t catch you off guard, and it will break you less. Nevertheless, if things turn out to be the best, you’ll be positively surprised.
It sounds like a win-win situation. Except it’s not!
It’s a signo de problemas de confianza profundamente arraigados y algo en lo que tienes que trabajar cuanto antes.
3. Compartición insuficiente
Do you know what’s oversharing? It’s the habit of giving away your own secrets and generally talking too much about yourself.
Well, you’re doing the opposite – you undershare. You keep everything to yourself.
You don’t talk about your problems to your seres queridosy mucho menos a desconocidos.
Newsflash: it might even be more dangerous than oversharing. You’re dealing with serious feelings of mistrust because you think you have to deal with all of your troubles by yourself.
4. Autosabotaje
You’re frequently sabotaging your own happiness. This especially happens in your intimate relationships when you decide no encariñarse.
The moment you see that your romance is turning into a meaningful relationship, your trust issues activate. There comes a moment in your relationship when you’re expected to open up to your romantic partner and let them all the way in.
But, instead of doing that, you decide to run for your life. It’s better for you to leave them in time before you give them a chance to volver a romperte el corazón¿verdad?
¡Pues mal! When you’re doing this, you’re not giving yourself the slightest chance of being happy.
I know you’re scared, but this way, you’ll never build a close relationship with anyone. And, I promise that you’ll be missing out on a lot.
5. Mantener a la gente a distancia
You keep everyone as far away as possible. I’m not talking about your new relationships here only.
Mantiene a distancia a sus familiares, parejas, compañeros de trabajo, amigos íntimos, literalmente a todo el mundo.
If you’re being honest, you don’t trust anyone in this world to the fullest… no one but yourself.
Look, it’s great that you’re being careful. There are bad people out there who really will take advantage of your kindness.
Pero no todo el mundo es así, y debes tener fe en su fiabilidad.
¿Cómo solucionar los problemas de confianza? Cómo superar los problemas de confianza en 8 pasos eficaces
I’m warning you: escaping your behavioral patterns is never easy. But, once you analyze the problem, find the cause, and accept that you have it, everything is much easier.
Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying: fixing your deeply rooted trust issues is possible. You just have to follow these steps on your healing journey.
1. Hablar abiertamente de ello
First of all, let me tell you that your low level of trust is nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people deal with trust issues – the irony is that they don’t trust anyone enough to talk about it.
Well, don’t be like them. The first step towards solving a problem is acknowledging you have one.
La primera persona que necesita para hablar de su sentimientos de desconfianza to is you. Once you do that, you’re ready to have this conversation with others who are close to you.
I’m not saying that you should reveal your personal details to everyone as soon as you meet them. But, for example, if you see that tu relación sentimental se está volviendo seriaPor favor, sea sincero con su pareja.
Tell them that it’s not their fault, and that some of your relationship problems will be caused by your lack of trust. Ask them for patience and understanding, and make sure they know you’re working on your issues.
2. Trabaja para mejorar tu salud emocional y mental
Tener problemas de confianza no es una enfermedad mental, pero sin duda tiene un gran impacto en tu salud emocional y mental. Suele ir acompañada de sentimientos de soledadcelos y baja autoestima.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that these are also the things you should focus on during your healing process. You’ll have a hard time fixing your lack of trust if you don’t deal with your mental well-being in general.
3. Abrazar lo desconocido
You never know what tomorrow will bring. I know that this fact freaks you out, but that’s life and you have to deal with it, whether you like it or not.
El proceso de reconstruir la confianza in others starts once you embrace this scary realization. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should act completely careless.
You still have a huge impact on your life, but some things are meant to be and you can’t do anything about it.
Así que.., if you plan on keeping yourself sane, you’ll have to let go of control. Siento decírtelo, pero van a pasar cosas malas y no hay forma de evitarlas.
People will break your heart, your intimate relationships will fail, and friends will betray you. Having trust issues won’t protect you from that.
4. Aceptar algunos riesgos
That’s why you have to pick your battles. Not everyone is worthy of you giving them a chance to be in your life.
Sin embargo, mucha gente lo está. Algunos lo son digno de arriesgarlo todo con ellos.
At the end of the day, you just have to accept some risks. You can’t always play it safe.
Well, technically you can, but if you do, I guarantee you one thing: you’ll miss out on a lot.
You can choose to live your life safe from emotions. You’ll manage to avoid some negative emotions. It’s likely that you’ll reduce your chance of feeling sad, angry, or betrayed.
But, at what cost? Trust me when I tell you that at the same time, you’ll also deprive yourself of happiness, love, intimacy, and connection with your loved ones.
5. Don’t be afraid to face your fears
You’re scared of giving your entire self to another person without holding anything back – I get it. You’re con miedo a amar.
The trick is to face those fears. If you want to chase them away successfully, you have to look them deeply in the eyes and show them that you’re in charge here.
I’ll be honest with you: ignorar tus miedos es mucho más fácil. Pero.., autoconocimiento es uno de los primeros pasos hacia la curación.
Cuanto antes admitas que tienes un problema, antes lo resolverás de forma saludable.
6. Dejar atrás las experiencias pasadas equivocadas y
A painful past is a common cause of trust issues. That’s exactly why you simply must let it go if you want to make any significant progress.
The past burdens you. The future scares you. And, what about the presence? Well, it’s slowly passing by you while you’re too busy dealing with these other two.
Don’t worry… history doesn’t always repeat itself. Just because you had a painful experience in the past doesn’t mean that all of your current relationships will end up the same way.
You can’t allow a traumatic event to dictate your entire life. Dejar atrás el pasado!
You can’t change it, but the presence is in your hands only. And, the future will be much brighter if you fix your broken trust in time.
7. Permítete volver a confiar en los demás
Remember: baby steps. You’re dealing with a serious issue here, and you can’t expect everything to fall in its place overnight.
Es un proceso que le llevará mucho tiempo, energía y esfuerzo.
You can’t make yourself trust everyone all of a sudden. But, what you can do is allow yourself to try confiar en los demás – para empezar.
Haz todo lo posible por ahuyentar los pensamientos intrusivos que acuden a tu mente cada vez que piensas en dejar entrar a alguien. Entrénate para confiar en los seres humanos.
Empieza por confiar en que estos pasos te ayudarán a descubrir cómo superar los problemas de confianza.
8. Saber cuándo buscar ayuda
If this is something you can’t deal with on your own – that’s perfectly fine. In fact, realizing that you need help in the process of rebuilding trust means that you’re on the right path.
Try asking your family members, friends, or romantic partner to give you a hand on this journey. But, if you see no progress or think that they couldn’t grasp what you’re dealing with, go see a mental health professional.
Existen numerosos métodos eficaces que su profesional de la salud mental para ayudarle con su problema. CBT (Terapia cognitivo-conductual) es una de ellas.
Esto es estupendo porque te ayuda a llegar a la raíz del problema. ¿Tienes problemas de confianza en las relaciones debido a una experiencia dolorosa en el pasado?
¿Tienes un estilo de apego ansioso? ¿Es la relación con tus cuidadores la causa principal de tu falta de confianza?
Tu profesional de salud mental te ayudará a averiguarlo. Y no solo eso: también te guiará en tu proceso de curación.
¿Cómo se llama a las personas con problemas de confianza?
La pistantrofobia es el miedo a confiar en la gente. It’s actually an anxiety disorder that makes you think that people close to you will hurt, abuse, or disappoint you in any way.
Para ser exactos, la pistantrofobia está relacionada sobre todo con las relaciones románticas y con ansiedad en las relaciones. En pocas palabras, las personas que la padecen viven con el temor constante de que su pareja les rompa el corazón de una forma u otra.
Citas sobre problemas de confianza
1. “Instead of saying, “I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues,” say “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.” – Horacio Jones
2. “Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over, but it’s never going to be the same again.” – Unknown
3. “Without trust, there can be no genuine peace. Neither in politics nor the quiet individuality of the heart and spirit.” – Timothy Zahn
4. “Trust is the easiest thing in the world to lose, and the hardest thing in the world to get back.” – R. M. Williams
5. “Trust is like a mirror… you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection.” – Lady Gaga
6. “I got trust issues because people got lying issues.” – Unknown
7. “If we do not trust one another, we are already defeated.” – Alison Croggon
8. “No marriage can survive for long without trust.” – Anton Robbins
9. “Trust cannot be broken; only taken back from people not worthy of it.” – Jackie Viramontez
10. “The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.” – Stephen King
11. “You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough.” – Frank Crane
12. “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen R. Covey
13. “Trust is like a piece of paper… once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect again.” – Miranda Lee
14. “Three things you should never break: promises, trust, and someone’s heart.” – Unknown
15. “I wanted to explain that trusting is harder than being trusted.” – Simon Van Booy
16. “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” – Unknown
17. “It takes a lot of truth to gain trust, but just one lie to lose it all.” – Unknown
18. “To trust people is a luxury in which only the wealthy can indulge; the poor cannot afford it.” – E.M. Forster
19. “Trust and faith bring joy to life and help relationships grow to their maximum potential.” – Joyce Meyer
20. “Sometimes you don’t know who you can and cannot trust. I still learn that over and over again.” – Demi Lovato
Esta lista de potentes citas sobre problemas de confianza demuestra que la confianza es TODO cuando se trata de mantener una relación sana, y que sin ella ninguna relación podrá prosperar.
Para terminar:
Malas noticias: superar los problemas de confianza es un trabajazo. Buenas noticias: se puede hacer.
Sé lo que debes estar pensando ahora: es imposible que esto funcione. Pero, oye, ¿eres tú o son tus problemas de confianza los que hablan?
I guarantee you it’s the latter.
Así que, por favor, en primer lugar, confía en ti mismo en que puedes hacerlo. En segundo lugar, confía en el proceso. Por último, confía en mí cuando te digo que todo saldrá bien.
